SwaSan OS - Metanoia - Page 8

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Posted: 8 years ago
#71

Originally posted by: Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Nynu 🤗🤗


What can I say yaar...your piece thoroughly satisfied the sadistic craving in my heart for Swara to see the error of her ways, of her inability to make a course correction, of her almost compulsive reactionary approach to making the same mistakes again and again, with regard to Sanskaar.

It does satisfy those sadistic cravings, does it not? It is almost six months since the serial is off air, and even today, I like this way better than how the serial showed, especially given the way they ended it😡

But, I felt sad too. 😭 And this may sound odd...considering that you wrote this OS mostly from Swara's point of view, showing her intense yearning, her hopes that Sanskaar would take her back, acknowledge their marriage again, and her long wait for almost 60 years.
But though I felt her pain, felt her tears, felt her pining...still, I was weeping even more at those small nuggets you put in, hinting at Sanskaar's emotions in this whole imbroglio. It literally made my heart break, reading of his life which you put so well in that obituary extract, of how he had become a recluse. Of how he had been living in a small apartment in the top floor of the Sargam Music Foundation. We know from what Sujju told Swara too, that Sanskaar was still devastated, still loved her. But, he could never forgive her, never have faith anymore in a relationship which she walked out on so cavalierly.
It was as if he could neither live with Swara, nor could he bear the idea of living without any contact with her whatsoever. And so they lead their long lives, in relative proximity though miles apart; connected and yet torn apart. 😕😭😭

That is what I intended to, though it is Swara's journey, how could Sanskaar not be a part of it? He said he would always love her and that he never doubted her love for him, he just had no strength to hope she would have any faith in him. And sadly he was proved right, Swara simply kept waiting for him, she never took any step to work for her forgiveness, even the Sargam office building, she prided her knowledge of the structure but never ventured into the top floor, because it was supposedly only for storage. Her inspiration, her life and her music, were literally in that building, she could always feel him, yet she never tried to search for him, never tried to follow the pull.
Sanskaar knew her so well, he spent all his life near her, confident she would never find him out, never seek him out, but somewhere he must have hoped. In the end, he came for her, or rather his spirit did.

The Sujju---Swara interaction was the highlight of this piece for me. You deserve a standing ovation for that one...I could actually feel the ferocious maternal instinct rising within me, when I read Sujju's feeling that the person who had hurt her son, needed to repent, to feel all the unhappiness she had caused owing to her blinkered adherence to the idea of 'rightness'. That hard hitting message Sujju gives, about love without faith...that was 👏👏 This love without the faith Swara ought to have reposed in Sanskaar----that torched her, but scorched him. 😭 😭

There are times when I simply love what I write, because it seems to touch a chord with the readers, the above line about love without faith is one of them. In the end, Swara's lack of faith destroyed Sanskaar as a human being, he stopped being a son, a brother and a friend, becoming a recluse. So Sujata, as a mother, would have died a little each day, watching her son and despairing Swara's lack of action.

I liked the way you wove in the RagLak story too. Really liked Ragini's stand here. Nice slap to Lakshya. 😆😉 And the fact that she takes all the time she needs to think over the relationship, then decide to give it a try, and then, finally, being able to fully accept him----that felt so real. one simply can't forget repeated transgressions and betrayal and being taken for granted, just by a mere 'Sorry, I love you, let's get back together'. 😕 Unfortunately, despite all of Swara's essential goodness and empathy, she had kind of expected to be able to tell Sanskaar this, and have their relationship restored to the status quo ante. If only life...and human emotions...were that simple. 😕

The credit for that facet goes to you, in your OS Colours, you did write that Ragini did not forgive Laksh immediately, so here I wanted her to grow up, no use having both the sisters behave irrationally, and each couple needs one sensible partner (we all know about Laksh, so it had to be Ragini😊)

Ultimately, don't you feel that for all the emotional maturity Swara shows when it comes to handling transgressions by her blood family (who never stood by her when she needed them, who always stabbed her in the back---be it Shekar, Ragini, Dadi or to an extent, Dada), she displays a woeful lack of maturity, perspective and understanding when it comes to Sanskaar----who had put her in the very center of his life. Sad isn't it, that she only realized the value of what she had, once she had finally lost it. 😕

And as you said, in the end, it was Swara's inability to trust Sanskaar that brought them to that state. Somehow, Sanskaar is in the blind spot of her trust mirror, she can see very one in that mirror except the one who deserves it the most and she ends up destroying both of them and by extension his family, the very one she wanted to unite in the first place. The tragedy is even though she realises where she went wrong, she once again took the wrong decision of waiting for him rather than fighting with him for them.

I'm off to sob a bit more into my hanky. 😭😭 Feeling all melancholy and saudade--ish now. 😭

Loads of Love

Viji


Dear Viji,

I have replied in blue above. And now, I am feeling quite melancholy and saudad-ish. Missing you.

loads of love,
Nyna
Nynaeve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#72

Originally posted by: ANfan_1810

Dear nyna,

You made so sad and cry with this story ... 😭


It was too sad ...

And sanskaar living at sargam foundation ... over looking her but not meeting her ...
No love story deserves such ending ...


But its beutifully written and expressed.

Pl write sanskasrs version too...


Dear Annie,

It was a sad one, right, Sanskaar lived his life out in the Sargam Foundation - he never made a move to meet her but he was waiting for her, finally in death they found each other. It is a love story, which got this ending, because there was no faith, and a relationship without faith, burns and consumes itself.

Regarding Sanskaar's version, kind of a moot point now? But who knows, if the bug seizes me and I manage to write, I will send you a pm (I am not sending any pms to anyone for my updates).

love,
Nyna

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Posted: 8 years ago
#73

Originally posted by: iam_aheli_98

Res. 😳 Will unres soon. 😃
Unresed Nyna. 😃
Aah! The title "Matanoia" is so beautiful. 😃 Loved reading the footnotes specially the psychological meaning of "Metanoia" coz being a Psychology Honors student, it caught my attention and I loved reading it. 😳
Now coming to the OS, I loved reading it so much! 😃 The future SwaSan, though I don't want them to end their relationship like this. 😕 I felt very sad for Swara here. How she was hoping that Sanskar forgives her and comes back to take her, but... 😭 And when RagLak's children referred to her as 'Masi', how she wished that they would call her 'Badi Maa' some day. And what? Sanskar lived in a small apartment provided by Sargam?? 😲 But still didn't meet Swara! 😔 But I really loved the last part where Sanskar, after so many years, after nearly 60 years, came back to Swara, for taking a stroll with her under the starlight sky, although don't know that Sanskar forgave her or not, but still she wished for his forgiveness and readily agreed to give him company for the stroll, hoping that he forgave her after these long years. 😳 And OMG!! What a coincident, or should I say love and bonding, that they died on the same day, at the night of 24th of September, 2075!! 😳 I think its after taking the stroll together after long years, for the last time. 😳 I was crying at the end! 😭 Its so beautifully written by u Nynu dearest!! 🤗 Thanks for the pm. 😃
With love,
Aheli.


Dear Aheli,

So you are a psychology student, and yes you would like the title, it is quite appropriate.

Swara could have changed her course, she should have fought for her relationship rather she just kept waiting for him to say he forgave her and he kept hoping that she would find out about him. In the end, death won out.
I guess I replied to this point, the stroll part is the one their souls take, their hearts were too bound to each other to survive one of them stopping. They died together yet apart - as in life, and their spirits soar in the starry skies.

Glad to note that I made you cry (as a writer that is).

love,
Nyna

PS - hope your examinations and assignments are going on well. I have been updating my FM and a couple of other stories, but have stopped sending pms.
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Posted: 8 years ago
#74

Thanks, Mystic
Nynaeve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#75

Originally posted by: ria2794

Oh god can't say how much i am moved by your story dear. I was reading it on my office and had tear at the end of it. Loved it so much so so much


Dear Ria,

When you say that you had tears at the end of the tale, it shows how much you were moved. Thanks for reading and loving it.

love,
Nyna
Nynaeve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#76

Originally posted by: Sparkler8

Hi Nyna,

This doesn't look like a fan fiction to me. The words that come to my mind are Ode or Opus. Beautifully crafted and executed with acute precision.

Where do you get time from, Nyna, to write these fictions that swirl the hearts of your readers.

Your language is flawless to me and I reverence people who produce such extensive articulations for a simple reason that they exhaust me quickly. So I will not comment on those aspects today. I feel this line "Love without faith is a fire that torches you and scorches the other. " deserves a special mention for the intensity that complements SwaSan.

I want to comment on the Rollercoaster of emotions you took me on. Due to your disclaimer, I was able to keep detached with Swara's state. Also I made sure I read this in a public space. (I have a tendency to cry or laugh when reading the fics.) I was successful and was too soon in congratulating myself.

The news article broke me. The death inviting them to the same execution was just more than the words grief or melancholy can describe. I had to try very hard to control my tears. It was not due to the news of their passing. It was due to the extent of their love dragging the life day by day until their thread of life gave in yet making sure they had a death in togetherness to make up for their life's accounts of mistakes and sacrifices.

I was so engrossed in typing this comment that I missed my bus stop and had to walk back home. I just love the story line to tears.

Cheers
Sharon


Dear Sharon,

While reading the comment or rather re reading it, I got thinking as to what exactly would you define Fan Fiction as? I always felt it is fiction about a couple we adore but that does not preclude us from writing out a full fledged story using the character we know and adore. Now I know how wrong I was, readers of fan fiction care more about the OTP than the story I do not blame them, I should have learnt the definition. But then me being the stubborn one, will continue to apply my own definition.

Regarding time, I have a tendency to focus on my current passion (which becomes an obsession,😆)

And am I glad that I could make you cry, despite the disclaimer, and though it is an universally accepted fact that it is easier to make people cry than to make them laugh, for me, when I write a story which is quite sad, a reader who cries, is a compliment.

The whole OS was that - a summation of a love lost because of lost opportunities, of wasted minutes that turned the probability of a reconciliation into an impossibility.

Best,
Nyna
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Posted: 8 years ago
#77

Thanks, Shweta😊
Nynaeve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#78

Originally posted by: .Avengers.

Ripped my heart and left it bleeding on the floor.

I will come back later. Let me recover


Okay, hope you have managed to put it back together.

Just kidding, I get what you want to say and thanks a lot for it😳
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Posted: 8 years ago
#79

Originally posted by: srividhya87

heart wrenching OS..

The way you expressed Swara's feeling still in hope to be forgiven is simply superb..
Short of words to explain..
Though the end is sad but atleast after their death their souls got united..


Dear Srividhya,

It was a sad OS, right, with Swara waiting to be forgiven, not realising till the end how close she was to Sanskaar and that this time she should have fought. And yet, they were so tied an bound to each other, that both died at the same time.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Best,
Nyna
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Posted: 8 years ago
#80

Originally posted by: __nidhi__

I like to say something before I comment on this piece of yours.

Honestly, I have lessened my reading on IF there are rarely some stories I follow and read whenever I get time and the Os are always comes last in my list and moreover I have stopped watching SR due to the track they had shown NarBi have no hopes of returning back to the show. But you know what? What made me attract to the Os was the titile of its.
Coming to the Os,
I will be honest about it! I skipped a paragraph but I again scrolled upwards to read the para because I absolutely loved your Os. I loved the way you wrote the whole Os, it has become one of my favorites! You very well showed the transitions in Swara's emotions very well. I liked the Sujata part too! what I loved about your Os is that they died together so that they can love each other till eternity.
I would like to know your age???

Love,
Nidhi


Dear Nidhi,

I am glad you liked the story, but I am thrilled to know that the title attracted you. I have a title and quote fetish (it seems to have become a style / obsession with me, even my FFs have chapter titles😳) And yes, you are also the only one to note and comment on the subtle changes in Swara's emotions regarding Sanskaar forgiving her - confidence to wanting to praying to hoping.
Well, theirs is a very strong love, which even their mistakes, ego and anger could not wipe out, so a life wasted in longing was rewarded with them being bound for all eternity.

Regarding my age - I firmly believe it is only a number😆😆 jokes apart, I have left sweet sixteen quite a few years ago.😈

love,
Nyna

PS - I still have to comment on your last update, I know you are a rare visitor to the Forum but I hope to do so before you post the next update.

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