Originally posted by: Cogito_Ergo_Sum
Nynu 🤗🤗What can I say yaar...your piece thoroughly satisfied the sadistic craving in my heart for Swara to see the error of her ways, of her inability to make a course correction, of her almost compulsive reactionary approach to making the same mistakes again and again, with regard to Sanskaar.It does satisfy those sadistic cravings, does it not? It is almost six months since the serial is off air, and even today, I like this way better than how the serial showed, especially given the way they ended it😡But, I felt sad too. 😭 And this may sound odd...considering that you wrote this OS mostly from Swara's point of view, showing her intense yearning, her hopes that Sanskaar would take her back, acknowledge their marriage again, and her long wait for almost 60 years.But though I felt her pain, felt her tears, felt her pining...still, I was weeping even more at those small nuggets you put in, hinting at Sanskaar's emotions in this whole imbroglio. It literally made my heart break, reading of his life which you put so well in that obituary extract, of how he had become a recluse. Of how he had been living in a small apartment in the top floor of the Sargam Music Foundation. We know from what Sujju told Swara too, that Sanskaar was still devastated, still loved her. But, he could never forgive her, never have faith anymore in a relationship which she walked out on so cavalierly.It was as if he could neither live with Swara, nor could he bear the idea of living without any contact with her whatsoever. And so they lead their long lives, in relative proximity though miles apart; connected and yet torn apart. 😕😭😭That is what I intended to, though it is Swara's journey, how could Sanskaar not be a part of it? He said he would always love her and that he never doubted her love for him, he just had no strength to hope she would have any faith in him. And sadly he was proved right, Swara simply kept waiting for him, she never took any step to work for her forgiveness, even the Sargam office building, she prided her knowledge of the structure but never ventured into the top floor, because it was supposedly only for storage. Her inspiration, her life and her music, were literally in that building, she could always feel him, yet she never tried to search for him, never tried to follow the pull.Sanskaar knew her so well, he spent all his life near her, confident she would never find him out, never seek him out, but somewhere he must have hoped. In the end, he came for her, or rather his spirit did.The Sujju---Swara interaction was the highlight of this piece for me. You deserve a standing ovation for that one...I could actually feel the ferocious maternal instinct rising within me, when I read Sujju's feeling that the person who had hurt her son, needed to repent, to feel all the unhappiness she had caused owing to her blinkered adherence to the idea of 'rightness'. That hard hitting message Sujju gives, about love without faith...that was 👏👏 This love without the faith Swara ought to have reposed in Sanskaar----that torched her, but scorched him. 😭 😭There are times when I simply love what I write, because it seems to touch a chord with the readers, the above line about love without faith is one of them. In the end, Swara's lack of faith destroyed Sanskaar as a human being, he stopped being a son, a brother and a friend, becoming a recluse. So Sujata, as a mother, would have died a little each day, watching her son and despairing Swara's lack of action.I liked the way you wove in the RagLak story too. Really liked Ragini's stand here. Nice slap to Lakshya. 😆😉 And the fact that she takes all the time she needs to think over the relationship, then decide to give it a try, and then, finally, being able to fully accept him----that felt so real. one simply can't forget repeated transgressions and betrayal and being taken for granted, just by a mere 'Sorry, I love you, let's get back together'. 😕 Unfortunately, despite all of Swara's essential goodness and empathy, she had kind of expected to be able to tell Sanskaar this, and have their relationship restored to the status quo ante. If only life...and human emotions...were that simple. 😕The credit for that facet goes to you, in your OS Colours, you did write that Ragini did not forgive Laksh immediately, so here I wanted her to grow up, no use having both the sisters behave irrationally, and each couple needs one sensible partner (we all know about Laksh, so it had to be Ragini😊)Ultimately, don't you feel that for all the emotional maturity Swara shows when it comes to handling transgressions by her blood family (who never stood by her when she needed them, who always stabbed her in the back---be it Shekar, Ragini, Dadi or to an extent, Dada), she displays a woeful lack of maturity, perspective and understanding when it comes to Sanskaar----who had put her in the very center of his life. Sad isn't it, that she only realized the value of what she had, once she had finally lost it. 😕And as you said, in the end, it was Swara's inability to trust Sanskaar that brought them to that state. Somehow, Sanskaar is in the blind spot of her trust mirror, she can see very one in that mirror except the one who deserves it the most and she ends up destroying both of them and by extension his family, the very one she wanted to unite in the first place. The tragedy is even though she realises where she went wrong, she once again took the wrong decision of waiting for him rather than fighting with him for them.I'm off to sob a bit more into my hanky. 😭😭 Feeling all melancholy and saudade--ish now. 😭Loads of LoveViji