Originally posted by: Cogito_Ergo_Sum
🤗🤗Nynu 🤗🤗🤗
Well, where do I start...this Chapter was so achingly, poignantly, heart breakingly beautiful. And you know something...it felt far more bittersweet and imbued with genuine pathos, than the movie from which (I presume) you drew the title. "PS I love you" was absolutely lovely in the context of this chapter; the movie itself I didn't care much for. I don't know, somehow...I found the film rather pretentious and artificial. I shall therefore think of this lovely little gem rather than that movie henceforth, whenever I hear those words. 😊
To tell you the truth, I never did care much for the movie either, but then I had decided to name all my chapters after Hollywood films (I do not think anybody researched IMDb as I did, one of the films whose title I picked is from 1942😆). I picked this only because the letter would be the central theme and hence the title did seem suitable. Further, it is also one of my all time favourite song, by the Beatles, and the lyrics surprisingly, are very apt to the sentiment expressed by Sanskaar (the key sentence being, "remember that I'll always, be in love with you" - the full song and the link in set out in the footnotes😊). But then when the fates conspired, Swara could not remember that he would always be in love with her, even if he did forget her.
Sunny's letter to Swara---it was so very touching. The way he expressed his emotions, his irrevocable love in such a heartfelt manner. It wasn't sappy at all, Mr Maheshwari (nothing Sunny does could ever be sappy.) 😉
There is no way anything he does be sappy or anything he wears make him look less sexy (though by a contradiction, the lesser he wears the sexier he looks - case in point - Fitoor🤪. Just let me finish here, and I hop over there
I liked the way he could envision what Swara's reaction to the letter would be...that whole image of her shaking her head at the supposedly mawkishly sentimental lines (given her ferociously mathematical spirit 😆), coupled with her countenance shining with love and joy. 😳 I could practically see Swara myself, at that juncture. 👏👏
You know what is common across all the fics we write, however we envision Sanskaar and Swara, there are two things which are constant, the depth of his love, which even Swara cannot match and the way he can always get what Swara would be thinking, more often that not.
But alas...the fates, as you said, had a plan of their own, didn't they? 😭 The "so be it" spirits that said "tathasthu" to that fervent wish of Swara's---for Sunny to be returned to her alive; even if ailing from some impairment. They extracted a heavy price indeed. 😭
The "tathasthu" spirits extracted a price from both - Swara's price was visible, but for Sanskaar, forgetting her was no less than death. He was prepared for dying and he did, as his memories of her died. She was prepared to accept him if he was simply alive, and that is how she got him, alive but with her forgotten. Sometimes, it is true, you really have to be careful what you wish for.
They say that the opposite of love is not hate; its indifference. And for Swara, not being recalled by Sanskaar at all, must have been pretty much equal to indifference---a crushing burden from which she simply did not know how to recover, how to fight her way out. As you put so poignantly in that dialogue of hers to Durga Prasad "halaath se ladh sakti hoon, kismat se nahi" 😭 😭
And you have put it forth brilliantly - that is exactly what Swara felt, she tried to reason it out, assign logical basis to what happened, but nothing changed the fact that Sanskaar did not and would not remember her. With her history and her belief that she was doomed to lose in love, she just had to leave. That dialogue - I am surprised at how everyone loves it but few recall that it is an exact repeat of the one in the serial - between DP and Swara. I could not resist using it, it reflects Swara so well, a little more of that in the next chapter.
Was lovely to see the way the family was rallying around, doing their best to somehow think through the unexpected and painful situation Swara found herself in. That little nugget of the Sujju---Swara bond, that was very deftly and delicately put.
Sujju, is another character who has potential, she is basically one who objects to everything, more from force of habit than anything else. But once she accepted Swara, it was a wholehearted acceptance and she is a mother too, so it did appear to be a natural reaction, that tiny humour did go a long way to soothe Swara's fears. (quite true also, Sanskaar can be stubborn or determined, same emotion though the label changes with the result😉)
Sanskar asking "Kavi kaha hai?" must have shattered Swara's heart to a million pieces. 😭 The way she later on asks him (while saying she was Uttara's friend)---about infinity, eternity and forever. 😭 😭 His reply is the same as before, of course...and Swara's reply to him that he had said the same thing before as well, but it is now that she had truly understood the difference between those terms. 😭
Swara's universe shattered at that instant and those pieces did blind her too. It hurts when your dreams break, those splinters do not even let you cry. She had a faint hope, I think, that maybe if he could recall the answer he might remember the incident. But then, as is the case with amnesia he could recall the fact but not his emotions connected to that event.
The whole sequence where you described how she wore both of their rings together tied in the mouli daaga around her neck; for 6 whole months, before ultimately losing hope that he would ever remember her----that was heart breaking. When her dadi informed her that there was no hope whatsoever of Sanskaar regaining his memory; her gesture was poignant in the extreme. Detaching the rings, putting hers back on, and keeping Sanskaar's ring tied on the daaga round her neck. 😭 Sigh...the sheer pathos of that gesture really hit me hard.
She wore them together, hoping that somehow that gesture would mean that there was a tiny possibility that Sanskaar would remember her and she could go back to him. Once that hope was destroyed, she feels she has no alternative but to forget her love for him and she needed a physical tangible reminder of her vow - never to go back to the city where she met him. It was like she was replicating what she felt the fates decreed, they could never be together again.
So now she decides she is not going to go back to Kolkata, where so many memories of Sanskaar would swirl around her. She would bury her immense love for him deep within, until she learned not to love him anymore. An impossible task, but one which Swara would feel she had no alternative for...😭
That is precisely what she vows to do, forgetting that saying never is the surest way to ensure the fates make you do it.
Waiting eagerly to see how the fates conspire to bring them together again. I presume sometime in those 6 months, Sanskaar would have become aware that Kavi was already married to someone else? I feel, somehow, that he is not going to regain his memories of that magical time he and Swara spent together, of those halcyon days when he fell in love with her, and she with him. He is just going to fall for her like a ton of bricks, all over again. 😳 😉
That is more or less what will happen though it would a longer wait than six months for as Roger De Rabutin De Bussy said, " Absence is to love what wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great" And theirs is a great love indeed.
And then, once he has proposed to her, made his potent adoration evident (for the first time as far as he knows; the second time for Swara 😉), wonder if he would somehow recover his lost memories? Or even if he does not recall them, he might see some photos or other memorabilia, of their time together?
About recovering his memories, keeping the chances at nil right now. And regarding the memorabilia, I have not made it very easy for them, Swara does not like being photographed, they never had a public engagement and the only actual memento would be the book which Swara gifted him and the possible photos in his personal mobile. But then he does not need them to be convinced of his love for her, does he, though it would answer some of the questions about Swara when he does get to meet her. I am confusing you?
Sigh...can't wait to read Chapter 5.
Chapter 5 will have Swara and Sanskaar and some others but no SwaSan - it would be the stage setting chapter for SwaSan.
P.S: I Love you. and I love this story. 😳 🤗
I love you too.🤗🤗🤗 and I am all that you love my story
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