Beautiful Scars SwaSan SS chapter 6 updated page 1 (16/10/05)

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#141

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum
Res 😊
Shall un res sometime in between the organized chaos of my cousin's wedding, time permitting. 😊 Else as soon as I'm back.

Saku, my dear Kid Sis 🤗 🤗 🤗

Kudos to you for starting this SS, on a concept which you outlined the other day during our discussion on my "Forget me Not or Build New Memories" thread on the ML track. The "Have the Cake and Eat it too" theory was so awesome, especially in your delectable outline which blended sugar, spice and everything nice. 😳 😉 It was yummier than butterscotch and sweeter than chocolate delight! Ok, Ok, forgive the bad cake related puns!!

But I knew right then, that I wanted to read that concept you outlined in your post, developed into a fully fledged SS, in your beautiful style. I am so, so very happy you agreed to do so. Amidst your updates on Vajra no less. 👏 👏 👏

The prologue lived up in every way, to the beauty of the outline. So well worded, and the added deft touch was that you worded Swara's thoughts in her voice, in first person. That gave a more intimate look into the way Swara was thinking, what emotions were coursing through her, the confusion, the angst, the fear; at her loss of memory and her conviction that her husband was the man who'd attempted to kill her.

You had me bewitched from the word go, literally. The setting, the ambience of night time you started the story with; the way Swara was flabbergasted seeing the wallpaper on her phone being that of her and Sanskaar---looking very happy and very much in love, too! The usual heart versus mind battle has started within Swara...but she still places too little faith in her heart, the thrill she feels when she hears Sanskaar's voice or feels his gaze, doesn't she? She's afraid of letting her feelings rule over her thoughts...she's convinced that fragmentary memory she has, is the truth of Sanskaar, and any doubts she has t the contrary are treacherous signs of weakness.

I just loved the way Sanskaar said those words "I was thinking of you...and as always, you called..." The phone logs on Swara's phone testifying to the veracity of this: the multitude of calls she'd made to her husband and the similar multitude of calls he'd made back. Each call, each whispered, murmured endearment another milestone in their pure and potent love for each other...if only Swara could remember those!

And Ragini---Wow!! As you know, I've always found Ragini's character so very fascinating. She has so many layers, edges and shades to her nature, which have pretty much been reduced to a uni dimensional perspective on the show. I SO wanted to see a well fleshed out redemption track for Ragini--had attempted that in my Music series, as you know---set in another time, another stage of the story. And it was so thrilling to see it being explored anew here, from a completely different angle, during this stage of the story track.

So Ragini, sharp and analytical as ever, having an instinctive feel for when something doesn't feel right---suspects Sahil Sengupta. While her more trusting, more naive sister, feels he is a cherub, with the diaphanous wings of an angel! I really wanted Sanskaar to cotton on to Sahil's truth very quickly, and you made me thoroughly delighted by making Ragini suspect him too!

And then the slow revival of the Sanskaar---Ragini friendship. It wouldn't really bloom immediately of course. So much water has flown under that bridge---the fake molestation allegation was such a vile thing Ragini did against Sanskaar. But I loved the fact that Ragini recalled that moment with a lot of regret and shame. She does want to make it up to Sanskaar in some way.

And so she accepts his proffered hand of friendship, to ally in favor of her sister now, not against her. They both have a common goal after all---Swara's well being, and the recovery of her memory. The best part was, Sanskaar's calm assertion that Ragini had fooled Swara, not only once, but multiple times! So now he wanted her to be his double agent, so to speak. Behave towards Swara as if she trusted in her assertion that Sanskaar was her killer (or at least, did not disbelieve her); while at the same time furthering his plans to ensure Swara remembered the immense love she and he had shared.

Lovely start, Saku. Will be back in a bit, for un res on Chap 1.

Loads of Love,

---Viji

Quote

Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#142

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum
Res for Chapter 1 😊

Saku dearest 🤗 🤗

The first eyelock---Oh so very profound, poignant, and achingly, achingly beautiful! I love the way you're going through this...taking each special moment of SwaSan's; and recreating the "firsts" for Swara---since she doesn't remember those magical earlier moments; and a set of "duplicate firsts" for Sanskaar. So here we have the "duplicate/first" eyelock, Sanskaar lifting Swara bridal style; and even, I suspect, the gift of a beautiful lehnga. It was Sanskarr's gift this time too, na? That wonderfully beautiful piece of azure, cerulean, navy and teal. 😳 My fascination for the shades of blue ensured I LOVED this description!

I loved the way you portrayed the turmoil and near panic in Swara's mind, as regards Sanskaar. She feels she knows his face so well, it is so familiar in a way that stirs her, makes her feel a bevy of feelings which are not as easily definable and simple as she expects them to be! She feels she should only feel revulsion and fear of the person who tried to kill her. But she doesn't find it in her to feel so cut and right about him, further confusing her. 😕 Poor girl...

And that moment where she registers the depth of adoration in his eyes for her (which she tries to deny), and the bottomless pain and completely shattered look at her mistrust and anger at him...God, I had goosebumps on my skin and tears in my eyes when I read that. She wanted to embrace him, comfort him and soothe away his pain...but quelled that impulse...

So Ragini makes a move here...she tells Swara calmly, that all of them believe Sanskaar, since he always used to treat Swara with such potent adoration. Ragini says she is prepared to suspend judgement and give Swara a chance to convince her otherwise, but for that, Swara has to prove what she says about Sanskaar is true. 😆 Detective Swara back again! 😆

So Swara sets about her task, contacting the ally whom she feels would help her---Sahil the wooden bloke! Why, Oh Why, do her instincts not warn her about Sahil...Our Golden girl is sometimes too naive and trusting na? And she had to pick Sanskaar to mistrust---the person who adores her more than anyone else, more than himself. And more than anyone else loves her, for that matter...😕

Like I said before, I'm sure the lehnga was Sanskaar's gift, Ragini was just handing it over to her. And that partial recall of that lovely memory was so subtly done...😳 The "tumhara pasand kaafi achcha hai" moment...and Swara could sense the reply...Sanskaar's teasing, yet evocatively romantic answer "Meri pasand kaafi nahin...bohut hi achcha hai...isiliye tume pasand kiya hai!" 😳 Thud! Thud! 🤪

I liked that symmetry there, my dear. Sanskaar's eyes showing a wistful happiness when he was in Swara's presence, though she was avoiding him. And Krishna Ji's eyes being wistfully kind...there are certainly a lot of elements of Kanha Ji in Sanskaar...

I wonder what plan Swara cooked up regarding the prasad? But anyway, all that faded from her mind during that exquisitely poignant moment when she stood before him with the arti lamp. They were so lost in each others eyes, once again, Swara being lost in the depths of his magical brown eyes, registering the shadow of a remembered agony in them; and Sanskaar too, so lost in unabashed contemplation of his wife's eyes, that he was literally peering into her very soul.

He never realized when his palms got singed and scalded by the lamp, did he? 😕 😭 Poor Sunny...and despite that, his first thought was to hold Swara tight, to prevent her from slipping on the oil when she jerked back and scalded her toes, in her turn, on the lamps.

That was a lovely touch here...Swara feeling Sanskaar's pain, shock that she had inadvertently caused his injury, and staggering back to step right on the lamps. And she never actually realized it before Sanskaar bellowed a warning to her...agonized that her toes were getting scalded! He felt her pain more than she did...

That bridal style lift, and the repeat eyelock, were pure magic, my dear...And once again, Sanskaar felt renewed pain in his palms when he gripped Swara tightly and securely, close to him. But he didn't care a whit about that. His concern, as always, was Swara.

I loved his gruff "I didn't ask you". 😃 😳 And the fact that they were so lost in each others eyes, some of the weight seemed to lift off Swara's heart, and some of the pain seemed to leave Sanskaar's eyes. So poetic, almost. Loved it!

Eagerly await the next chapter, my dear.

Loads of Love.

----Viji

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Sakura24

@Sakura24

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#143

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum

Saku, my dear Kid Sis 🤗 🤗 🤗
Viji my dear, dear sis🤗🤗🤗
Kudos to you for starting this SS, on a concept which you outlined the other day during our discussion on my "Forget me Not or Build New Memories" thread on the ML track. The "Have the Cake and Eat it too" theory was so awesome, especially in your delectable outline which blended sugar, spice and everything nice. 😳 😉 It was yummier than butterscotch and sweeter than chocolate delight! Ok, Ok, forgive the bad cake related puns!!
When we had finished discussing this concept I knew that I would not be able to hold myself from attempting to write it. I did not want to either. So I had started working on the outline you so adored right away. And it makes me extremly happy to know that you like it so much!😳
But I knew right then, that I wanted to read that concept you outlined in your post, developed into a fully fledged SS, in your beautiful style. I am so, so very happy you agreed to do so. Amidst your updates on Vajra no less. 👏 👏 👏
You know, when I have such sweet comments in return, the pleasure is all mine😊
The prologue lived up in every way, to the beauty of the outline. So well worded, and the added deft touch was that you worded Swara's thoughts in her voice, in first person. That gave a more intimate look into the way Swara was thinking, what emotions were coursing through her, the confusion, the angst, the fear; at her loss of memory and her conviction that her husband was the man who'd attempted to kill her.
Here Swara is the only one in problem if we really look at it, so I had to go for first person narative, something you know I'm completely alien to. But I wanted to bring out a clear image of what she is feeling, which is what the serial lacks in this track. So glad that you found it sufficiant.😊
You had me bewitched from the word go, literally. The setting, the ambience of night time you started the story with; the way Swara was flabbergasted seeing the wallpaper on her phone being that of her and Sanskaar---looking very happy and very much in love, too! The usual heart versus mind battle has started within Swara...but she still places too little faith in her heart, the thrill she feels when she hears Sanskaar's voice or feels his gaze, doesn't she? She's afraid of letting her feelings rule over her thoughts...she's convinced that fragmentary memory she has, is the truth of Sanskaar, and any doubts she has t the contrary are treacherous signs of weakness.
Yes, the wallpaper sort of knocked her breath out! She is confirmedly placing her faith in that blurred image her mind came up with instead of the hints of forgotten feelings her heart picks up...so typical of Swara who denyed Sanskar's love once upon a time don't you think?
I just loved the way Sanskaar said those words "I was thinking of you...and as always, you called..." The phone logs on Swara's phone testifying to the veracity of this: the multitude of calls she'd made to her husband and the similar multitude of calls he'd made back. Each call, each whispered, murmured endearment another milestone in their pure and potent love for each other...if only Swara could remember those!
That might be the tale of many entries on that call log, his thoughts reaching out for her and alerting her that he is missing her or vice versa and a conversation long and full of love issued. I wish she would remember them too, but then, there won't be beautiful scars to heal right?😳
And Ragini---Wow!! As you know, I've always found Ragini's character so very fascinating. She has so many layers, edges and shades to her nature, which have pretty much been reduced to a uni dimensional perspective on the show. I SO wanted to see a well fleshed out redemption track for Ragini--had attempted that in my Music series, as you know---set in another time, another stage of the story. And it was so thrilling to see it being explored anew here, from a completely different angle, during this stage of the story track.
Apart from SwaSan and Sanskar, Ragini is my reason to start watching SR regularly. She was so humanely realistic and fasinationgly shaded...once upon a time. I'm not sure I feel the same about her any more. She will do her bit here, and maybe have that much deserved redemption to a certain extent too. I hope you love the way I flesh her in future😊
So Ragini, sharp and analytical as ever, having an instinctive feel for when something doesn't feel right---suspects Sahil Sengupta. While her more trusting, more naive sister, feels he is a cherub, with the diaphanous wings of an angel! I really wanted Sanskaar to cotton on to Sahil's truth very quickly, and you made me thoroughly delighted by making Ragini suspect him too!
I was annoyed with Swara for calling him an angel...she is really ill, I find it quite realistic now😡 However both Ragini and Sanskar are not blinded by any such thing and sees dead wood for what he is.
And then the slow revival of the Sanskaar---Ragini friendship. It wouldn't really bloom immediately of course. So much water has flown under that bridge---the fake molestation allegation was such a vile thing Ragini did against Sanskaar. But I loved the fact that Ragini recalled that moment with a lot of regret and shame. She does want to make it up to Sanskaar in some way.
I agree, they have a long way to go before their friendship is revived, but those tiny steps matter and would make a great change in their lives on the way. Ragini surely might be feeling bad about it now that she has her senses back, if only, she makes up in some way...
And so she accepts his proffered hand of friendship, to ally in favor of her sister now, not against her. They both have a common goal after all---Swara's well being, and the recovery of her memory. The best part was, Sanskaar's calm assertion that Ragini had fooled Swara, not only once, but multiple times! So now he wanted her to be his double agent, so to speak. Behave towards Swara as if she trusted in her assertion that Sanskaar was her killer (or at least, did not disbelieve her); while at the same time furthering his plans to ensure Swara remembered the immense love she and he had shared.
There is a parallel to their earlier stance and this one right, in both situations they had a goal, in former case it was a evil one and was against Swara, here it is for her and is a good one. Sanskar is already on the light side and Ragini on the edge that separates light from darkness, she might step over it to the light finally with this one mission. Ragini has a potential there, I so wanted Sanskar to acknowledge that, after all how many times did she manage to fool her sister?
Lovely start, Saku. Will be back in a bit, for un res on Chap 1.

Loads of Love,

---Viji

Thank you so much for making my day better with this comment dearest. Will catch up with your revert on chapter one next. Replied above in purple.

Loads of love,

Saku

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Sakura24

@Sakura24

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#144

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum

Saku dearest 🤗 🤗
Dearest Viji,🤗🤗
The first eyelock---Oh so very profound, poignant, and achingly, achingly beautiful! I love the way you're going through this...taking each special moment of SwaSan's; and recreating the "firsts" for Swara---since she doesn't remember those magical earlier moments; and a set of "duplicate firsts" for Sanskaar. So here we have the "duplicate/first" eyelock, Sanskaar lifting Swara bridal style; and even, I suspect, the gift of a beautiful lehnga. It was Sanskarr's gift this time too, na? That wonderfully beautiful piece of azure, cerulean, navy and teal. 😳 My fascination for the shades of blue ensured I LOVED this description!
Well, that is the only upside I can see in a ML track, you can relive your most beautiful moments as if they are happening for the first time. Sanskar wouldn't say no to a duplicate set of those wonderful moments either now, would he? Yes, yes. The lehenga was his gift, which Ragini was passing through. 😳
I loved the way you portrayed the turmoil and near panic in Swara's mind, as regards Sanskaar. She feels she knows his face so well, it is so familiar in a way that stirs her, makes her feel a bevy of feelings which are not as easily definable and simple as she expects them to be! She feels she should only feel revulsion and fear of the person who tried to kill her. But she doesn't find it in her to feel so cut and right about him, further confusing her. 😕 Poor girl...
I thought this is what she should be going through. I mean if she does remember him shooting, its highly unlikely that even a tiny part of her heart doesn't reach out to all their beautiful memories right? So the end result is a confusion that irks her, makes her hate him just for the sake of the mental toruture of her battling hear and head!
And that moment where she registers the depth of adoration in his eyes for her (which she tries to deny), and the bottomless pain and completely shattered look at her mistrust and anger at him...God, I had goosebumps on my skin and tears in my eyes when I read that. She wanted to embrace him, comfort him and soothe away his pain...but quelled that impulse...
I did wanted her to feel. After all, she once said that she could read his eyes, she still might, if she dares to look closely in to them. To know you felt so deeply for that moment just makes me go...(Where is the emoticon of a flying person when one needs it?😳)
So Ragini makes a move here...she tells Swara calmly, that all of them believe Sanskaar, since he always used to treat Swara with such potent adoration. Ragini says she is prepared to suspend judgement and give Swara a chance to convince her otherwise, but for that, Swara has to prove what she says about Sanskaar is true. 😆 Detective Swara back again! 😆
Ragini, as Sanskar told her to, is playing her cards as usual. She knows Swara's weakness and jabs right at it. One ball and two sixes! That's Ragini for you😆
So Swara sets about her task, contacting the ally whom she feels would help her---Sahil the wooden bloke! Why, Oh Why, do her instincts not warn her about Sahil...Our Golden girl is sometimes too naive and trusting na? And she had to pick Sanskaar to mistrust---the person who adores her more than anyone else, more than himself. And more than anyone else loves her, for that matter...😕
I'm really at loss as to why Swara doen't sense about Mr. Wood's not so good intentions, but since she isn't on show, I've decided to keep it same for now. You're right, sometimes she is too naive😕 in an unhealthy way!
Like I said before, I'm sure the lehnga was Sanskaar's gift, Ragini was just handing it over to her. And that partial recall of that lovely memory was so subtly done...😳 The "tumhara pasand kaafi achcha hai" moment...and Swara could sense the reply...Sanskaar's teasing, yet evocatively romantic answer "Meri pasand kaafi nahin...bohut hi achcha hai...isiliye tume pasand kiya hai!" 😳 Thud! Thud! 🤪
I so wanted to bring out that beautiful moment and that reply so...witty?😳 Yes, it is indeed his gift, it was him Ragini interacting over the phone as well😳😳
I liked that symmetry there, my dear. Sanskaar's eyes showing a wistful happiness when he was in Swara's presence, though she was avoiding him. And Krishna Ji's eyes being wistfully kind...there are certainly a lot of elements of Kanha Ji in Sanskaar...
I find so too, and moreover Kanha ji's idoes are always dipicted very wistfully kind aren't they? That's the most beautiful quality in those idols, they calms you instently!
I wonder what plan Swara cooked up regarding the prasad? But anyway, all that faded from her mind during that exquisitely poignant moment when she stood before him with the arti lamp. They were so lost in each others eyes, once again, Swara being lost in the depths of his magical brown eyes, registering the shadow of a remembered agony in them; and Sanskaar too, so lost in unabashed contemplation of his wife's eyes, that he was literally peering into her very soul.
The plan will be revealed in the next chapter. Yes, the eye lock had stolen their senses for that little moment.
He never realized when his palms got singed and scalded by the lamp, did he? 😕 😭 Poor Sunny...and despite that, his first thought was to hold Swara tight, to prevent her from slipping on the oil when she jerked back and scalded her toes, in her turn, on the lamps.
That's Sanskar, no matter what agony he is going through, his first concern is of Swara always! 😊
That was a lovely touch here...Swara feeling Sanskaar's pain, shock that she had inadvertently caused his injury, and staggering back to step right on the lamps. And she never actually realized it before Sanskaar bellowed a warning to her...agonized that her toes were getting scalded! He felt her pain more than she did...
They both felt each other's pain instead of their own. Even Swara, although forgotten did love him as much as he does once upon a time right? So the traces of that love is making her feel for him still😳
That bridal style lift, and the repeat eyelock, were pure magic, my dear...And once again, Sanskaar felt renewed pain in his palms when he gripped Swara tightly and securely, close to him. But he didn't care a whit about that. His concern, as always, was Swara.
Thank you so much dear, you know how much gleefull I feel now😃😃
I loved his gruff "I didn't ask you". 😃 😳 And the fact that they were so lost in each others eyes, some of the weight seemed to lift off Swara's heart, and some of the pain seemed to leave Sanskaar's eyes. So poetic, almost. Loved it!

Eagerly await the next chapter, my dear.

Loads of Love.

----Viji

To know that you love it, so much, makes me feel very, very happy that even ninth cloud is far below and looks tiny to where I am floating in daze. 😊😃😳

Replied above in purple.

Love you loads,

Saku

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Sakura24

@Sakura24

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#145

The 59 lovely souls who liked the prologue and the 57 beautiful people who liked the first chapter, these 🤗🤗🤗🤗 are for you! Love you🤗

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#146

Res for chap 2 of the most beautiful scars and the most wonderful way of healing them 😊

Un-Res

I am just so thrilled that my Res post turned out to be the 150th on this marvelous thread. 🤗 🤗 I have a special affection for your writing Saku, as you know. And this one looks all set to join my favorites among your pieces like the IK/SQ/Winds of Winter series (God, I need to re read that this weekend, my old love! 😉), and Elixir as well as Icarus.

I just adored the way the First Cracks appeared in the wall in this chapter. 😊 Swara's wall of mistrust and suspicion against Sanskaar is slowly weathering and crumbling under the warm, steady drizzle of his potent, unconditional adoration...😳

The way you started off grabbed my attention in an instant---😊 with that awesome description of the enchanting, mesmerizing brown eyes of the one and only Sanskaar Maheshwari. 😳

So in Vajra, the suave Yuvraj has eyes of deep, mountain lake green. But here, his entrancing orbs captivate Swara, almost despite herself, by their swirling depths and shades of vivid, rich brown. And oh, the descriptions you used...of the bark of holy trees in a centuries old forest; the warm, almost caramel dribble of honey in a cup of deep brown, piping hot coffee; and the deepest brown of damp earth, the parched soil drinking in the freshness of the rains. 😳 ☺️ No wonder Swara could not turn her gaze away. 😉

I felt so very anguished for Sanskaar then, at his mortal agony at Swara's hesitation and fear when he tried to tend to her scalded toes. The almost unconscious way she recoiled from his touch hurt him so badly---I dare say, scalded his heart far, far more than the fire had scalded his palms. 😕😭 And yet, he controlled himself, said that he would fetch Ragini to tend to her.

So Swara then outlines her master plan---in an almost repeat of past actions, she has tried to get the truth out of Sanskaar by spiking something he consumed. 😆 The prasad, in this case. Only, it did not work quite the way she planned. 😉😳

That moment was so intense, so poetic almost in its romantic ambience. We had the "tum mere upar ho, Swara" moment---the first time for Swara, and the "duplicate first time" for Sanskaar---hence, the "tum mere upar ho, phir se!" 😆 😉

And the words Sanskaar used in his dialogues here---so mindblowing. He loves with such depth, with every fiber of his being, really. No wonder Swara was shaken, her cynical assumptions about him being shaken up and almost demolished. His affirmation of his potent love for her was so searing in its intensity----he blames himself for letting her fall! 😭 What a man he is...holding himself to such standards, all because he loves her to the very limits of existence and beyond. He still feels, somewhere, that she deserved someone with all unblemished light falling on their soul, with no scars or dark memories. And seeing tears in her eyes literally tears him apart, as it has always done.

The way he flipped them around, cuddling her beneath him even as he snuggled his face into the crook of her neck 😳 ☺️ I am super happy Swara hit upon this plan after all. She got to hear from Sanskaar what he felt about her, and she cannot but think that there must be some truth in what he says. For he, under the influence of the drug she has given him, could not possibly be lying or dissimulating...

The way Sanskaar throatily reaffirmed his adoration for her, the way he gently grasped her fingers even when near comatose, it was all so well done, Saku. I particularly LOVED that re play of the "finger holding" moment. So, so poetic, almost.

So Swara, now is confused. 😆 😕 This girl, I tell you...But in a sense, once can understand where she is coming from. She has realized that Sanskaar loved her deeply, with a potent, selfless adoration, even though she still does not trust him fully. She can believe that she fell in love with him at some time during their marriage, a time in the recent past that she does not recall.

And yet, she feels it would be unfair to him as well as her, were she to continue with the status quo, to force herself to feel something for him merely because they are married, merely because he loves her. She feels a love as deep as his, deserves a like reciprocation...

And so, Swara thinks to herself that she cannot "deceive" Sanskaar, even as she is conscious, that she cares for him far too much, much more than she lets on. 😆😳 She is war of him, does not remember him, and still does not trust him fully. But she cannot help but care for him deeply.

Sigh...a girl less prone to doubt might realize that this is the foundation of love, after all. But our Swara has to find things out the hard way after all. 😊 Bring it on, I say! Sanskaar's love will win her over sooner rather than later. ❤️

Waiting for Chap 3, dearest!

Loads of Love,

---Viji

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago

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Sakura24

@Sakura24

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#147

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum
Res for chap 2 of the most beautiful scars and the most wonderful way of healing them 😊

That was the 150th post on this thread, kind of a milestone😳 Thanks Viji dear, lovely duchess of dawn, glad to have you swooping gracefully to the pole position🤗