DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- T2- DELETED- AN- PG 1

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#561

Dear and patient friends,

Chapter 15 is now up and available for reading/ comments! I will respond to those few I have still not got back to on 14 shortly too!

I hope you all like 15 (*nervous*).

Lots of love,

Shru x

Quote

Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#562

Res 😊

Un-Res

Hey Shru dear...🤗 🤗

Kudos, first of all, in managing a rather difficult transition from the intense action, drama and soulful romance drenched chapters in 11 to 14, to the needed one taking the tale forward, as it were.

Part 1, stood out for me in the entirely realistic portrayal of the interaction between the Royal family. It rang true of the time, where even as several of the Ranis/ Begums wielded considerable aura, power and prestige; the paternalistic notions of the time would have it that the Ranas/ Shahs be considered the ultimate word, the final arbiters in any question, political, familial or personal.

But what a queenly figure, what a persona Annapurna is! She set right about informing the Rana in no uncertain terms, what she thought of Kaveri having the temerity to demand an audience with him!! Though Durga Prasad is filled with shame and self loathing at his brief, ill judged and tawdry liaison with the said disreputable lady, he would still have it that his Rani ought not to question him openly about it; or allude to it in front of their new samdhis! Like I said, a typical attitude of the time, and you have stayed true to it.

I really liked that interaction between all 4--Annapurna & Durga Prasad, as well as Sujata and Ram Prasad. Annapurna is convinced that Sanskaar could not be a traitor; and it would seem that Sujata herself, is filled with anger and resentment at her brother in law for the treatment meted out to her son. I was glad at that touch, for till now, it always seemed that she cared but little for Sanskaar, preferring her nephew, Lakshya.

And Ram---stoic and forbearing as he is, completely loyal to his brother, he too, feels an intense pang of distress at the fate of his son. Those words: "One way or another, he will be found", though sounding so bland and objective, cut his heart to the very quick, didn't it? He has convinced himself, that his son is a traitor---but I would like to believe that there is something in his heart which protests at this.

And Annapurna--my God! My respect for her just grew by leaps and bounds. The way she stormed at Durga Prasad---that far from complaining to her about how she handled Kaveri, he ought to realize that this came about since he, by his own ill advised conduct, gave that woman the right to bandy words with his own Rani! And the way she confidently tells him, that she does not know where Sanskaar is; and even if she had known, she would never tell him!

I found that sentence of Durga Prasad very, very meaningful---when he tells Ram that he is so sorry for speaking of Sanskaar that way---he and Annapurna forget sometimes that he is Ram and Sujata's son; they have always considered him their own son, had been so very attached to him. Shru, Shru...you just sent my suspicions on Adarsh soaring sky high. The nondescript, nonentity Crown Prince, overshadowed by his brilliant, noble, popular cousin. Who was a favorite with his own parents, the Rana & Rani, besides being a hero amongst the army as well as the populace in general...Me thinks its not Lakshya, but Adarsh, who has connived to have Sanskaar branded a traitor...

Part 2: was awesome, too. The way Swara reacts to leaving Ehsas Nagar was so moving, She has cherished memories of the place, and that tender, reverential kiss Sanskaar planted on her forehead that previous night means so very much to her, doesn't it? She's practically broken hearted to leave, it was like a warm bubble, encasing her and Sanskaar in a fuzzy cocoon of sweetness which she is loath to leave behind.

And Sanskaar, Sanskaar...I told you, na, Shru, that one of my favorite historical novels is Men of Iron, by Howard Pyle? Prince Sanskaar really reminds me of that title. So much determination, so much fortitude! Even though his heart is breaking at the thought of letting Swara go; he has steeled himself to slowly distance himself from her, to seem businesslike and brusque. He is quite unable to resist the unspoken tenderness and wistfulness in her eyes though, and the way he had to again steel himself, after adjusting the dupatta to cover her head while leaving her face free, was such a lovely moment.

That small but meaningful semi-argument between them, when Swara says that he needs to take her back home after he's cleared his name; she does not want him to send her back to safety with anyone else! 👏 👏 And Sanskaar, tenderly but trying to be firm at the same time, explaining to her that she would be in danger if she remained with him...his mission might fail and anything could happen to him...Swara just couldn't bear to hear that, could she? The thought of him suffering, possibly losing his freedom or life, is well nigh unbearable to her now.

And so, each in torment of their own, they proceed from Ehsas Nagar, with Swara shedding tears at her last sight of the haveli. 😭 I felt so very bad, too!!

And the name of the spot they reach next--Aha!! Sanyogghad. 👏 😉 How ever do you come up with these apt names! A mysterious phantom army there---which Durga Prasad had also referred to? The mysterious forces neing sighted which Adarsh and Lakshya had ridden out to investigate and deal with?

Sanskaar is rightly wary of the news, as this mysterious contingent has come camping in the very area where he laid the fake trail to entice the person who had him trapped. Did you say that this area was under the control of the Runawats before they handed over control to the Maheshwaris? Could this mysterious force be some relic of the earlier Runawats? Because Adarsh or Lakshya and their forces would wear the Maheshwari uniform and crests, na?

And then came the nerve jangling, heart pounding part of the chapter, which had be wincing, and grasping my hands tight, literally digging my nails into my palms!

Sanskaar is so noble, in a very real, tangible sense. As Swara senses, its not anyone who would be willing to take punishment which was supposed to be inflicted unjustly on another man, a poor indigent. Sanskaar was not a man who picked and chose which innocent to succor and protect, his conscience and convictions ran deep. He would fight against injustice and bullying, no matter what. Truly, the stuff of what legends are made.

And My God, those awful five lashes, which leave his back again raw and bleeding, the way Swara wept and cried out in pain at the lashing administered to him, but Sanskaar himself, merely stiffened and made not a sound. In fact, his only reaction was concern for Swara, and anger at the soldier holding her back by her arm.

I was literally urging on Sanskaar when he whipped the leader who'd caused him to be whipped! 😆 Those were the terms which Sanskaar insisted after all, that he would take 5 strikes of the whip, not merely 3, and he would have the right to inflict a strike on a person of that barbaric company! You go, Sanskaar!! 😆 😉

But just when I was sure Sanskaar and the now energized populace of Sanyogghad would take on these boors, the rest of the platoon arrives, at the head of which is their ranking commander/ officer, whom Sanskaar recognizes, and who knows him, too, and Sanskaar fears, might see through his disguise!

What a place to end the chapter! Can this be Adarsh/ Lakshya? But I'm confused---why would they not be wearing the Maheshwari crests/ uniform then? Is this another old rival/ enemy of Sanskaar's? And if it is indeed Adarsh, why does he seem to be heading a mysterious phantom army, more a brute force than an ordered, disciplined fighting force meant to defend their kingdom?
What worries me also is---Sanskaar had taken off his tunic prior to the whipping, and those old scars, marks of his torture are visible. Would be easy for any man who knows of his history to surmise this could be Sanskaar, isn't it? If they knew of his incarceration and torture?

Update soon, darling!

Love,

---Viji

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

The.Lannister

@The.Lannister

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 9 years ago

#563

Chapter 15:

I had thought that after that early update this week you might not update during the weekend. But you did 🥳XOXOXOX

Finally DP has spoken. I had thought you had made both the brothers mute in this FF😆...though its better DP keeps quite (you see I still haven't forgotten how he got SwaSan divorced in the show & hence still dislike him!) since he is an even greater loser here than there😡

Annapurna...how you so FAB! This woman is seriously out of this world😳 So much dignity & poise & grace. In few choice words she showed DP his place just like she had done with Kaveri. And it is easy to be direct & brutal to an enemy but if you can manage that with your husband👏 I am so happy she told DP to his face that Sanskaar was not a traitor & even if she did know his whereabouts she would never tell him👏 #RESPECT

So Laksh has already run away from Ragini 🤣 Aisa kya kar rahi thi wo ke isko bhaag jana pada so soon after marriage 🤣 I have full doubts that he must have jumped at the chance to leave with Adarsh

I like this little change in swara where when she gets up in the morning this time she isn't worried seeing sanskaar missing from next to her. She now knows he won't leave her alone, she has full faith that he will come back for her, come back to her. In just a couple of days that seems to be great progress in their relationship 👏

Sanskaar, no matter how noble his intentions, can be a real jerk at times. That time when he threw away the flowers she gave him & now today almost avoiding her. And Swara is such a baby! Had she not been so sweet & tender hearted Sanskaar would not have come across as such a jerk😆 but oh god she actually starts crying when they leave. Little baby really 🤗 And of course he melts immediately & lavishes her with his undivided attention for a few minutes...that is all she wanted JERK!😡😆 Swara here reminded me of a kid who doesn't want to go back home after a particularly fab vacation😆

I hope he doesn't release Swara in the care of Laksh or Adarsh since they seem to be heading their way🥱. Though I doubt he will allow Swara anywhere near Laksh since he thinks Laksh is a traitor, but not even Adarsh please. Let her stay with you Prince & take her back with you😳

Trouble troubles those who trouble trouble sunny boy! While I do understand (I am struggling, but I am trying😆) he feels this need to protect his subjects from such bullies now he has landed himself in an even bigger trouble. He might get recognized by whoever this new person is & then what will happen to his plans to get back the map? Who is that man?! Waiting for the next chapter...hope it reveals who that rider is

Edited by The.Lannister - 9 years ago

Quote

Juanita

@BlurredLines

Trailblazer

+ 19

Posted: 9 years ago

#564

Res for chapter 15

Unres

Hi Shruti , Sorry for the late Unres..Had an Busy weekend ...

My Admiration for Annapurna Maheshwari increases every time i get to read about her. The confrontation with Durgaprasad was so Good. It not only because she took Sanskar side but also because of the way she held herself during that encounter.

Annapurnaji refusing to believe Sanskar could be a traitor and the agony of both RP and Suju to witness DP accusing there son as one. While i know both DP and AP think of Sanskar has one it was such an poignant moment to let them remember that RP and Suju are the actual parents and discussing Sanskar infront of them was an bad idea.

Sanskar is back to masking his emotions and poor Swara seems clueless by his sudden change of behaviour . I loved how he tried to avoid looking in to her eyes as it would break his resolve but helplessly drawn towards her at the same time. Her single tear was too much that he broke his self imposed distance.. And Swara learning that her time with Sanskar is going to be much shorter than she anticipated. I love her ever changing emotions and growing realization that she doesnt want to leave him and not being able to figure it out yet.

The moment they stop in an place, i knew trouble would come there way and wow i always admired Sanskar but when he stepped up to save the father it increased ten fold. He and Swara both knew the risk yet they cannot let someone else suffer . I loved his bravery and him withstanding the five painful lashes without making an sound . He is really an hero.

I am really curious about the new Arrivals .Chapter 15 was so good. Do continue soon . Cant Wait to read the next Chapter

Edited by NitaReid - 9 years ago

Quote

bones123

@bones123

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#565

Res...

Stunner udate Shruuu :)

Annapurna is the boss 😎 !! total badasss...Kaveri ho ya DP...nahi chalegi kisiki 😆😆

It is only natural that DP is in awe of his wife, she is totally awe-worthy...and yes it's right to see him feel that guilt of betraying his wife for a cheap liasion..for life ! Maybe if he kept his kingly code of conduct aside for a while (like he did with the affair), he might have made more headway with his wife !

Lovveee the barbs she throws his way !! Kaveri's inopportune appearance only added to her grief ! and speaking smack about her beloved son will test any mother's patience !! K deserved it and DP should really see it !! He may be the rana, but your AP surely takes the cake in terms of being the more royal one !

I am taking out band baajaa for AP's defense of Sanskaar. I rem asking you about what she thought of his latest escapade...and wohooo for her being firmly on his side, no matter how facts are distorted and presented !!! DP seems like a horse with blinkers on !!

Adarsh and Laksh on the lookout towards norht is not good news for our beloved two...!!

Can I say I loved Sujata's silent expressions throughout...she's amazing in that sense...fear, fascination, pain...she might not be AP, but she's definitely a character that surprises you !

Aiyyyo Ram, he's also carrying the burden of his son's so called actions...or maybe the burden that his brother believes his son capable of such action !! Loved the way you tied that conversation which moved from AP/DP to RP...even though the former love him and consider him their son, the pain that the real parents feel must be heartbreaking. RP and Sujata are afterall living with some of these inconvenient truths as well !! Sigh...heart is going out to all 4 parents (ok maybe 3...DP is not my fav)...But RP's remark about finding Sanskaar does not bode well for the future. I wonder who the man picks to be, a dutiful brother or a father...such well written drama shruuu !!

*pssst : are we closer to the reveal on who was that watchful figure when Sanskaar escaped ?

Part 2 : Ehsaas Nagar

I'm so glad that Swara is never regretful of their sleeping arrangements and even with all her proprietary intact as a Rajput princess, she is so confident that this bond is special and is right !

Sanskaar sometimes is such a debbie downer !!! I'm still like wheee she was awake and felt the kiss and on the other hand mirroring her emotions of jaana zaroori hai ?? Can this cocoon last forever...can they be enclosed and away from the world forever ?

Sanskaar's lean mean business machine behaviour is not going down well with her !! Sigh...crieee ! He's equally conflicted but obviously setting the tone to avoid any delays. And loved how you've brought out his reluctance as well. That one day of relief he sought is now up, and he's back to being the clinical prince out on his mission !! It must seem so unfair to her...*pssst...tell her Sanskaar*

The penny dropping reg. his intentions to send her alone *mummmy no..why must he be so noble*...and to separate himself from her is just all kinds of pain 😭

I like how her fiesty self is back...but this time not to run away from him...but to rather stay...haa Swara..how the tables have turned ! and also...Sanskaar has to stop saying things like separation..death !! Surely he knows how much that rankles her...

They fall into a truce again...but this time one of silence and misery...as opposed to the previous one that brought them such joy and opened the possibilities !! 😭😭

Interesting clues you are building up there Shru reg. the soldiers...so his plan is working...someone is following his red herrings ! Though they don't sound like very noble soldiers at all..infact more like mercanaries liek the man described !!

I was slapping my forehead and nodding my head at the sametime as I read the next part. One part of me is screaming don't Sanskaar...don't interfere and blow your cover...and other part is totally expecting him to kick behind !! 😆...I really liked how you said not a selective saviour...but maybe sometimes restraint is good...no point in egging them on to 5 lashes,...no matter what they say.. *shuts eyes for the lashes*

I was half worried that Swara would inadvertently reveal who he is, but I guess both are intelligent enough to not reveal any details about the other through words !! She's more distressed that he

s getting this unfair punishment and he's as usual uncaring for his own pain and more worried that it's causing her so much distress...kya kare indono kaa...!!

*Seeti* for Sanskaar when he knocks out the soldier and becomes the one in control !! ...But but but...he's now in front of an adversary..Soup only abhi !! Ek taraf Swara, ek taraf need to be under the radar and now all that being threatened !! Nail biting suspense...can absolutely cannot wait to read who this person is...and how Sanskaar deals with him...! Blood read turban man ...interesting...!

*I don't think it's Laksh though..partly because I grant him zero skills in intelligence in reaching there...and it would also accompany the crown prince right..plus he's probably not someone Sanskaar would want his disguise to hold against*

Brilliant stuff as usual Shru...sorry for the delay in responding, was away for the weekend...lots of love and kisses *Veer style slobber*...mwah mwwwah...

Edited by bones123 - 9 years ago

Quote

Vini224

@Vini224

Inactive

Posted: 9 years ago

#566

Shruti🤗

Superb update once again.

I really like Annapurna in this,she's proving that she's a queen and nothing less.

Even The Rana is in awe of his queen.

And the way she defends Sanskar is awesome.

Felt bad for Swara .

She was distressed with the way Sanskar was being cold and indifferent to her whereas just the earlier day he was all teasing and flirty.

So the thought of going back to her parents leaving Sanskar is not sitting well with her.

And Sanskar is doing all this for her good.

How I hate those men for what they did to Sanskar.

Those brutes😡

Oh who is that guy in the end?

Is he a friend in disguise or a foe..?

But the leader of such brutal men cannot be a friend of Sanskar right?

Ok just have to wait for the next chapter which is getting harder and harder.

Edited by Vini224 - 9 years ago

Quote

SIMI

@simsen23

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#567

Res

Unres..

Shruti...😉

Chapter 15 is a mixed bag of all emotions...😊

Durga prashad's male ego is trying to dominate the justified reason of Annapurna.tough he knows Annapurna's no nonsense attitude and strong personality, but still Adamant to his views as he is the man.Annapurna has strong belief on her soul son.Both Annapurna and Durgaprashad were so busy with that argument that they forgot that their soul son's own parents were present there. It must be painful for Ramprashad and sujata ...😕

Swara's transition from blissful night to shocking and partly painful morning was beautifully described. So sanskar is trying his best to stay away from her...but he has no control over his heart .He can sense the same pain,reaction and concern in swara's eyes..unknowingly she is also falling for him .She has no happiness returning home without him...😳

Then that painful view that swara had to watch ,her sanskar's heroic side,that side which that old man had described ..it must be so hard for that girl to see him in that state. ...felt very sad for her ...Cant he see that pain,she loves him so much ..

Whose that!!!!Adarsh!!Was he the shadow player!!!well too much exclamation mark..let the writer solve the mystery..😆...but eagerly waiting for the next chapter .till then keep my swasan safe and sound. 😉

Love,

Simi

Edited by simsen23 - 9 years ago

Quote

Nynaeve

@Nynaeve

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#568

res - chapter 15

UnRes

Part 1 was Queen Annapurna all the way - this woman never ceases to amaze me - each time it appears that this is the strongest she can be, lo behold, there is yet again another notch that she successfully claims. This time, she holds against Durga Prasad himself and how she does. For now, her strength is tinged with righteous anger, I am sure Kaveri's appearance must have brought to fore memories of her husband's indiscretion. Further, however, repentant Durga Prasad is and irrespective of the fact that monogamy was not expected, especially from kings of yore, his affair with Kaveri it must have rankled Annapurna. And time might heal but the scars do stay!

Durga Prasad's ire is mixed, he is angry that his absence resulted Annapurna meeting with Kaveri (which considering the depth of feelings he must be anguished that she had to meet that woman), partly because the meeting, even if necessitated was before the Gadodia women (who now would be privy to his failing) partly because of he must be exasperated with the fact that had he been present he could have dealt with Kaveri in a different manner (which would have most probably involved more of monetary exchange than words).

He is also angry at the disappearance of Sanskaar and the continued failure of his men to track him down. And he finally has to send Adarsh and Lakshya (how is that he is going? - he is tired of Ragini or has Ragini has decided that political intrigue is more interesting than having her 'haq' 🤣).

While Annapurna does not believe that Sanskaar is a traitor - Durga Prasad appears to be forced to think so. (me thinks 😲 he actually does not believe Sanskaar to be a traitor but is forced to do so in light of the 'facts' presented to him).

Ram Prasad's line "Why are you sorry, Bhai Sa, After all, you are not the traitor." There was so much angst, so much pain - he knew that there was a possibility that Sanskaar might he killed before he was caught (traitors are not usually give much of a chance, right) but then I think, that in saying this, it was his way of 'hitting' back at his brother, if only his brother had not failed as a husband, maybe things would not be as bad as they now were (this would mean that he suspects Kaveri / Kavita to have a much deeper say in Sanskaar's fall but is unable to prove it - or maybe I reading too much into the line 🤔)

Part 2:

Swara wakes up, as usual after Sanskaar, but now his absence does not disturb her. Somewhere deep down, she is now aware, that Sanskaar would not leave her, at least not in a fashion that would mean abandoning her (somewhere in the back of her mind the fact filed away that Sanskaar would send her back to the palace, though right now she is not too keen on it?). But she is perplexed - poor kid - firstly her own feeling are confusing her, she is still unsure of Sanskaar's mercurial reactions and she is upset that he is brusque with her.

So both are upset leaving the haveli - the reason being similar dissimilar at the same time. Sanskaar distancing himself slowly so that the parting would be rendered a little less difficult and Swara is almost at tears at the thought of parting with him.

There is no relief in the idea of going home for her, she is worried for Sanskaar and does not wish to be parted for him. And when she declares that God would help him find a way to prove himself innocent, because her heart says so, he puts it down to her goodness (partly true but her heart was saying so because it has shifted allegiance to Sanskaar)

And then the incident at Sanyogghad (point of coincidence - there is a quote I read - "all coincidences are signatures of God" ) - it brings to fore two startling facts: Swara is more of a warrior than Sanskaar - (I hope I can explain.)

A warrior fights a battle and a true warrior would focus on the battle ahead rather than indulge in a personal confrontation especially one that could render a battle futile. So Swara attempting to restrain Sanskaar was her trying to remind him that it might be better if they did not involve himself (She would not be afraid for either of them, aware as she was of Sanskaar's capabilities), so inspite of her intentions, she did think like a warrior when she attempted to dissuade Sanskaar from being involved.

But Sanskaar was wrought of a different mettle, he was a righteous man first, a warrior next. So if he as a great warrior he definitely was a better man - a man who lived by a self-imposed code of righteousness - there was no way he could simply walk away. Well, his bravery did win him the hearts but left him facing an unwanted familiar adversary. (I do not think it is Adarsh, Sanskaar hoped his disguise would stand in good stead, but did not appear worried about Swara, who was really not very well disguised - unless that was a deliberate omission on your part to up the suspense quotient).

Eagerly awaiting the next update (my,my what a greedy lot we are, but what can we do, your tale is so enchanting, waiting for the next update is quite excruciating - and excel spreadsheets DO NOT alleviate the pain😉)

Love,

Nyna

Edited by Nynaeve - 9 years ago

Quote

Vianna

@BookWormV

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#569

Shruti,
Brilliant chapter!
I really love how this story is progressing. Some more insight into Ranaji and the Maheshwari family. I have mentioned I love Annapurna? She is THE queen! Seriously this woman is pure gold! A brilliant start of SwaSan's journey from Ehsaas Nagar. The whole market place scene was absolutely enthralling. I love action in this story to the core. The five cane lashes had me cringing, but you made up for it when you showed the fury in Sanskaar. I can just imagine Swara's horror. So who were the new arrivals? Cliffhanger shruti!

Awaiting the next update. :)
-V