DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- T2- DELETED- AN- PG 1

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#401

Originally posted by: krishuuu
shuruu baby...muahhh🤗
Firstly i want to tell ..i log on in this forum from my mobile...it is one of the most difficult job to write a post from mobile...😭u take soo much effort to type ur heartfelt emotions reguarding ur favourite story...but one click here n there on mobile n ur entire post vanishes...ahhh happen with me so many times...😡😡😡

Now coming to the main part...my lovely n talented shruuu...kisses on ur hands...🥱😛

When i open forum today...i saw ur pm...n was sooo excited ,my heart beat increases rapidly..👏.then when i open chapter 12.. the minute i saw my name mentioned iwas on top of the moon...felt sooo good that u remembered me while writing DK... thank u sooo much for this aknowledgement...love u baby shruuu... u made my day one of the most memorable...🤗🥳

About chapter 12...👍🏼
swara this girl amazes me one min she is bubbly, innocent and stubborn child like...n next moment she is mature, caring , understanding feelings of others...loved hers n sanskaar interaction...she started to adore him, feeling jealous after knowing about kavita... enjoyed the thrill n suspense u created in the situation...

N about my baby love sanskaar..❤️.larke ur in love with this girl...accept ur feeling man...was over the moon reading how he tried his level best to protect swara...his pain when he thought he lost her forever...swara concern for him ..their journey back...im reliving each n every moment again... i hate those bandits🤢😡 they have hurted my babies.but u all will be responsible for giving swasan to us in future...so thanks for that...🤗

Sushena died n i cried a lot...why sushena...where the hell is pawan????😭💔🥺
N the hero of the story ...VEEERRR... protected swara, sanskaar...n will take them home safely...kisses to veer...muahhh cutuuu...👏

I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter... its was a roller coaster journey... thrill , suspense, drama, action, love,concern, pain everything..😆
Shruuu thank u for bandits part .. i know u have planned it before i have requested u about swasan n bandits scene ...i turned out to be terrific ...much more than i expected...⭐️👏

waiting for next chapter like crazy.🤪..just one word for u shuru... fantaboulous...love u...keep inspiring us...🤗

Love talia❤️

My dear sweet Talia 🤗

You are such a star - I know what a real pain IF is from the mobile- urrggghh! And I am seriously grateful you did such a long lovely post despite that! 😲👏

Awww- lots of hugs for such sweetness 😳😳. I had to mention your name- when you originally asked for bandits I was crazily chuckling and eventually told you over PM but had to stay silent on the thread as as not to spoil things for everyone!

Swara is a real sweetie no? And brave as befits a proper Rajputana princess I think! Ahhh our Sanskaar- how can anyone not love Sanskaar?! I have always wondered that on this forum! Yes, the bandits were hateful indeed but you wait and watch the eventual result of their nastiness- just like Ragini's evil led to something good too na? 😉.

Awww- I upset you with Susanna's fate huh?! I am cruel but what to do- a writer has to make harsh choices, sorrryyy!!! . Pawan? Errmmm, Pawan is unfortunately stuck against his choice but you will meet PKJ - wait a few more chapters bass! Veer is a genuine hero no?

Thank you again for this and for being so excited with DK hon, let's see what you make of 13!

Love ya xoxo

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Nynaeve

@Nynaeve

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#402

Res

UnRes -

Old Wounds and new -

Part 1 - rupturing of old wounds!

The opening scene - Ragini - daydreaming about her nights with Lakshya (thank god you dispensed with both the wedding details and her wifely rights - no demanding of her 'Haq' 😉). But her conscience still speaks at times (okay - maybe there is hope for her yet).

Annapurna is truly a queen - regal in stature and in mind - simply admirable the way she dismissed Kaveri. So Durga prasad did have an illicit relationship with her (which is what Annapurna referred to as a ' predilection for the wrong sort of women is the Maheswari men's weakness - way back in Chapter 4). And because of this, he would have been open to manipulation by Kaveri - definitely a lot of hidden intrigues. Her threat is no empty one - I am sure that Annapurna could ensure that Kaveri

disappears from the face of the earth itself if she so willed. Kaveri resolves to make Annapurna pay -a portent of the dark clouds gathering! Ragini's interest in this unfolding events - filing them away for future use?

Part 2 - healing of the new ones!

This was more of Swara than SwaSan - her angst and desperation, and her resolve to do what must be done in spite of not having sufficient physical strength or enough mental courage. She did have to draw 'strength from her toes' (very apt) to clean and suture Sanskaar wounds (it must be causing her a great deal of stress). Her constant chattering, in a bid to take her mind off the edge, was heartwrenching, though her admission that "his eyes that were like rich brown velvet set amidst eyelashes that he might not know, but would make most women jealous " does bring a small smile.

Swara's shock at seeing Sanskaar's lashed back makes him desperate to prevent Swara from 'knowing' his shame. It would be so, for any true warrior, battle scars are signs of victory to be displayed with pride but whip lashes are a testimony to the fact of a warrior's fall from grace. Which is why, even though he survived and did not break, he does feel shame that someone has seen them, even more so, that it is Swara! Though nothing prepared him for her reaction.

Not once did she hesitate, she saw them for what they were, marks of one betrayed, wrongly branded a traitor, of a warrior whose spirit is unbroken despite the suffering of the body. And her tears released something in Sanskaar. It was as though he felt a brief flicker of lightness amidst an ocean of darkness. He had found his light and would be healed.

love,

Nyna

Edited by Nynaeve - 9 years ago

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Vianna

@BookWormV

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#403

Originally posted by: tootiefrootie11

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Just replied to you on 12😆, sorry I was late!</font>

Shruti! 🤗
Just finished reading.! I love Annapurna. In your face Kaveri Bai 😛 And what amazing SwaSan moment. You made my day with it. That last para with that single drop of tear from Sanskaar's eyes signifies so much! ❤️ Brilliant chapter. You keep going higher and higher in your update quality! Hats off. Will unres later. 😊

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#404

Originally posted by: coolgal270
Res!!
Unres

Oh shru! First of all i want to give you a hug...i dont know how u manage to weave the story in such a splendid way! This FF of urs is a masterpiece!!👏
Giving comments for ch 10 & 11...12 is coming soon.. Sorry abt that...
Ch 10:
Ok, this is a complete surprise. Ragini feeling guilty conscience... Totally didnt see this coming..i loved the way you showed the dream...for a person with conscience, vivid dreams like that r v natural...i really liked the way u described it...how ragini would imagine it and how it affected her..
And she blanches when lakshya badmouths swara...hmm...another refreshing change from the show.
Laksh is well laksh.. expected him to do this...
Swasan scene was completely enthralling. The way Swara's melody soothes Sanskar, how it gives him peace so that he remembers the light moments shared between them..also d way swara notices the heat in his eyes...uuiii...😳
Loved the awkwardness and restlessness that both were experiencing..that new exciting emotion. Also the ease with which they started their banter and the lighthearted conversation.
Ok..absolutely loved the way you described Sanskar's desire for swara...it was beautifully written...& the knight who can slay ferocious rivals in the battlefield, had to leave the haveli..she was afterall threatening the very foundation of his resolve!
Ch-11
Totally swasanlicoius chapter! Ah...
Loved the conflicting emotions in both of them... Swara being presented with the opportunity to escape, and all she could think abt was whereabouts of Sanskar. The way she struggles to comprehend her reluctance in leaving..so natural...
And then sanskar, the min he sees swara, again he feels emotions he does not want to feel...and guilty for doing this and leaving her alone, he lashes out in anger...in turn hurting her more
Loved the way swara was roothi...and how he manaoed her...that was so domestic!😆
Your wish is my command lady?? Totally hfhsgdhgdhshsgdv...
Love, Sumi

Sumi dear🤗

You are a true sweetheart! Take a massive hug back and ohhh these words 😳😳😳. Hearing you call it a masterpiece when I get so many doubts really soothes me!

Wow- you left comments on both 10 and 11 and still want to do 12! You guys are seriously awesome! Don't ever apologise, am so grateful for this!

C 10

Yes indeed- Ragini has a conscience but what she does with it I cannot promise! Her situation is that now she achieved what she set out to do, she has time to reflect and is hating the results of that! So glad you felt the simmering passion and growing feelings in the SwaSan scene!

C 11:

I decided to keep this SwaSan only and it seems to have made most people happy! I wanted them to have this sweet banter, relief from their mental lives at least briefly and cute moments.

Am so pleased you enjoyed those 2 chapters and hope that trend will continue. Much love for your support xoxo

Edited by tootiefrootie11 - 9 years ago

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coolgal270

@coolgal270

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#405

Res

Unres

I guess I m lagging behind a chapter everytime! This is for ch 12...I just finished reading it and i think, it deserves a stand-alone comments section! There are so many things that made me go ooh and aah in this chapter of urs..this is gonna be a long comment!!😆 Here we go:

-Swara mesmerized by the natural beauty that lay in front of her and Sanskar totally mesmerized by her..."have u ever see anything so beautiful? I dont think I have"...Uuiii...the feels here Shru!!

-Sanskar getting effected seeing the ruins only coz he has started to "feel" again, maybe for the first time this intensely..I loved how u emphasised on this fact..love does change people's perspective..Sometimes things that never made sense before, suddenly become meaningful!!
😳

-His honest opinion about love, destiny, lovers! How apt.. and he felt fear for loosing her, his subconscious mind placing himself & Swara at those two separated, ill-fated lovers place..and he felt the pain...

and she mistook it for his pain for Kavita!!

Oh, so poignant Shru!! Loved it to bits..realistic reaction by both and so touching! She would obviously think it is Kavita he is thinking about...and yet, first strings of jealousy are making way into her heart... the thought of Sanskar being in pain and in love with "that" woman, is causing her pain..uiii again!!

ok..I love you Shru..I dont know how u do it, but your writing is magic.. He is praying for her and she is praying for him? OMG!! The feels!..almost got tears in my eyes, i m telling u,this kind of selfless love completely draws me in!! They both prayed for the other's happiness...not knowing it lies in them being together!! **Daydreaming mood totally on**😆

He is perplexed why doesnt she hate him, and she thanks him in return..That is soo Swara...

Gave him a googly, didn't she?😆

Oh the horrified realization that he didnt think about Kavita even once! OMG!! Def a thing to freak out this sanskar...this is something that would shake the very ground he walks on...Then his confusion as to why this girl would effect him much more than Kavita ever could...and he has already fallen for her much harder than he did for kavita...yup!! He would freak out ..like mad...

They both said "I hate you"..and all I heard was "I love you, I love you".. 👏

Oh the fight!! Why did i think about something like this before i started with this chapter, I dont know..i so wanted some goons eyeing Swara and Sanky beating the daylights out of them!!

The way you have described the fight, the rude bandits, them totally lusting after Swara, swara not realizing the grave position SwaSan are in, Sanskar's fear for swara and only Swara, his absolute panic when he cant see her anymore, his madness to fight with bandits just so that he can reach her and tuck her away safely, his deepest feelings for her laid out in open...
and for Swara, the terror she experiences which freezes her feet, the way she recognizes the pain and agony in Sanskar's 'Swaaraaa"..., not realizing how her heart accepts and reciprocates his feelings, her panic and absolute terror at Sanskar's condition, her shouting "I need you"...

❤️❤️ Sigh!! Shru, if i could hug you right now, i would...This was absolutely breathtaking...My heart was beating so fast reading this scene, i could imagine the events taking place as if they r right in front of me, feel the pain and emotions SwaSan felt!! I cannot tell you in words just HOW MUCH I loved this part of your FF!! It is beyond words...👏👏

And veer!! The protector, the guide, hero!! I love him!!😃

But sad tht Sushena died..fighting alone with these bandits... Ouch, how much sanskar would be hurting..

Muaah,

Sumi!

Edited by coolgal270 - 9 years ago

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#406

Originally posted by: lucky.m
How do you do it shruti?
Outdoing yourself with every chapter ..It was more than beautiful👏 .👏. and heart touching , The pain frustration and agony of sanskaar penned down brilliantly in your words and that beauty of sand dunes ..I could literally feel being transformed there and its like scene unfolding in front of my eyes..👏👏⭐️

The realization of sanskaar on his intensity of feelings raging for swara when compared to kavita ..he didn't even think of her unless swara pointed that out and the part where he was jealous even with thought of swara being with some one else.. I loved that line that he wanted to set fire already ruined place ..brings out the intensity so well ,that fight with bandits and his cry swaraaa..I could actually feel that ..I loved this update..totally loved it ,read thrice already

and Did I say I love veer too😉 and are we going to get the part of swara tending to sanskaar wounds,taking care of him ,hmm maram patti scene kind in next update .and It was all swasan in this update.😳 with no third fourth parties😆

waiting for next update

Lucky

Lucky my dear friend 🤗

I think you guys are too kind to me 😳😳. It seriously keeps me going to get the feedback like this after each chapter as I honestly worry about each one and put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure I do my best! Thank you so much for this!

So pleased all that came through to you whilst reading and yes, Swara not surprising thought that he was thinking of Kavita and he was totally absorbed by Swara so it actually made him angry and fearful at the depth of his own emotions. Yayyy- you liked that line! I felt the despair in it so strongly. You read this 3 times?! 😲 Massive jhappis for that!

Veer is so dreamy na? 😆. You will see what you got in 13 and a lot of what you say but in an intense way but never fear there is 14 too 😉

Lots of love xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#407

Originally posted by: coolgal270
Unres on page 48...i think i rambled on a lot

Replied and I love those types of "ramblings" so pls don't stop them coming!! 🤗

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#408

Originally posted by: Nynaeve
Shru,🤗
Finally unres on page 48 - it is still rambling but better than blabbering.😉

Love,
Nyna

I love the "rambling" and "blabbering" and all else that you write- so pls pls don't give up on it! I am so sorry I haven't replied but I need to do a considered response and it's now 3.35 am so I am leaving that till I have at least some sleep 😃

Love xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#409

Originally posted by: a_uma
Hi. Shruti... sorry for my late post...

Chapters 11 and 12 are totally awesum .❤️.. loved the way swasan are getting drawn to each other .. becoming more aware of each other.. and sanskar seems to be falling headlong for swara.. 😳

The last part was shocking.. poor sanskar is injured badly.. but sure swara will take good care of him.. 😳

Thank you dear Uma and there is nothing like a late post- each one is truly welcome and appreciated. So pleased you loved both 11 and 12 and hopefully 13 will allay some concerns over Sanskaar 😉

Love and wishes x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#410

Originally posted by: Chexa123
Hiii
Chapter no 12 was, exceptional... the way u depicted the emotions of swasan and the appearance of bandits...their attack... the way Sanskaar was fought... wow... it was superb... can't wait to read the next...

Hi there! Thanks so much for your kind words- I am so pleased you liked this chapter so much! The next one is up, which is why I am so late in replying to everyone. Btw- have I asked your name before? Please tell me what it is if you don't mind as I can then address you properly 😳

Love,

Shruti x

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DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- T2- DELETED- AN- PG 1 - Page 41

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