DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- T2- DELETED- AN- PG 1

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#371

Hello all,

I have seen all the lovely replies in already and promise to respond to all, but please bear with me as am super busy with work and commitments. Thank you in the meantime and will be back asap with replies and will also start working on chapter 13 soon!

Love to all and Happy Friday! x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#372

Originally posted by: The.Lannister
Res

I resolve to keep away from the forum and then you n viji drag me back here!! Not that i mind 😳 keep them coming😳

Unreserved:

Chapter 12:

Offo oh! Firse jhagadne lag gaye dono Sunny bahot jhagdaalu hai yaar😆

The Prince is totally smitten😳 Sunrise, sunsets, deserts, oceans everything seem to fade when compared to his Princess. All their great scenes happen on horsie😆 He is their cupid in disguise methinks😆 Loved your description of the desert dunes. I was transported to that place. And though my favourite will always be Sanskaar in black...but he would look smashing in white as well😳

Swara is such a softie. She feels for everyone I can understand Sanskaar's feelings here. This woman is so innocent, her soul is so pure that he thinks she deserves better than a man like him who has been accused of murder & treason In an ideal world nothing could have stood between them, but now...

The beauty of the forbidden fruit😳 Sanskaar just cannot help himself. He wants her but he cannot have her! And he definitely cannot imagine her with anyone else.

Sanskaar is angry with the whole world at the moment😆 But he is angriest at himself😆 You cannot tell the heart what it should feel Sanskaar, it feels what it wants to😳 He hates it that she sees & understands everything about him

She is such a baby😆 As soon as he shouts at her she hates him & wants to kill him😆 Veer seems attuned to his master & would be mistresses moods what with him standing there seeming to listen attentively😆

OMG those lechers🤢 Sanskaar fought them all single handedly and those 🤬 killed Sushena??😲😭 No please! A good man dying at the hands of such low lives😭 😭 Sanskaar has lost Pawan & now Sushena too😭 and of course a part of the map as well😲 Jerks! Good he killed them all😡 Though one did escape I am so proud of Swara👏 She did Rajput princesses proud. She killed that thug & did not let her conscience come in the way of practicality 👏 You go girl!👏 That fight was very well written Shru. I could feel everything Sanskaar felt from start to finish. His fear for Swara, his rage when they ogle Swara, his dread thinking that something has happened to Swara...great work

In spite of all his injuries he still responds to Swara's concerned voice😳

Veer toh hamara hero hai hi 🤗 Where would SwaSan be without Veer XOXOX I think I love Veer as much as I love Sanskaar after this😆 Such a smart horse he knows his way back & this time he is letting Swara ride her & also showing her the way home😳 Horsieee 🤗

Lanny dearest 🤗

Haha, yeah actually! Kitna jhagda karte hain! We want them to do so much else and this is what we get 😉. Never mind- time for other things too at some point 😉😃.

The Prince is certainly lost and the love bug has bitten- nothing is now more beautiful than the Princess as you say! 😳 Veer is Cupid!!! And we love the horse romance as we discussed 😆😆- God here we go- how weird does that sound! 😲. See the Dark Knight is usually in black but here he is going towards the bright side or was being pulled there and then I wanted the contrast between the rogues in black and our dashing Prince in white 😃.

Swara does really take everyone's pain onto herself but am hoping to keep that to still within relatable levels. Absolutely re Sanskaar's dilemma- he wants her and as you said, if things were like before and he was the untainted hero, he could more than fight for her but now He is hunted, his future is so uncertain and that is why he was regretting everything and hating his own need for her. Then there is the wanting what is out of bounds of course and added to that, his insane jealousy of anyone else, even if he tells himself that is what she needs. And the more she believes in him despite the odds, the more he sees how perfect she is and then the rigmarole of how he wants and cannot have her starts again .

Babies 😆 especially Swara!! And poor Veer- his haalat is like mine with my dearest parents! They seriously fight like cat and dog and me (and my siblings) usually stand like poor Veer- wanting them to stop so we have some peace again 😆😆.

Those lechers and blackguards 🤢🤢 and yes our hero dealt with so many armed man by himself, baring the one his brave Rajput princess killed herself 😎. Sushena 😭. Oh but the map? That was the map that Sushena had which directed him to the haveli and not the Nagabhata map. Oh and plan changed, none got away. Only the horse and he didn't have a rider. But the issue that they had other companions and whilst they may not have exact directions there is risk that they can find the place somehow soon enough! Ahhh thank you so much- glad you liked those parts- they were hard work to write so am pleased you think it worked well 😳. Yes, her voice reached him as SHE needed the help and he cannot refuse her 😳.

Veer horse

Thanks for these lovely comments Lanny xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#373

Originally posted by: Vini224
Hey Shruti🤗
This was yet another amazing update.

Was very heart wrenching ,to read about the agony they faced not only physically but emotionally too.
You beautifully brought out Sanskar's feelings ,him being in guilt regarding his growing feelings for Swara when he is the one responsible for her sad plight.
And also the moment that he realized he was thinking about Swara and not Kavitha,really loved that part.
And Swara is uncomfortable thinking that Sanskar is still in love with Kavitha.Nice.
So she is also slowly falling for him.

The way they shouted "I Hate you" to each other ,literally screamed of love.

Loved,Loved ,Loved the update.

Vini 🤗

Thank you so much for your lovely words on this Chapter! I am so pleased to read you felt the emotional ethos I tried to bring out and to be honest I myself felt rather drained after writing all this. Sanskaar is in such a bind, you can't help but feel your heart go out to him and to Swara too no? . Yes, Swara thinks (understandably) that Sanskaar is pining for Kavita still! Aha- that hate was such the opposite no! Thank you for loving this and lots of love to you too xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#374

Originally posted by: bilvyina
Hai...shruti...thankz 4 the pm...
Nice update dude...u beautifuly narrated each and every emotion of sanskar and swara...in each sentence i feel sadnes of sanskar...finaly swara started to understand real sanskar...at last she trust him...
No words to appreacate ur talent u r just awesome dr...thankz dr...4 ur lovely update...waiting 4 next

Hey Krishna Priya 🤗

Thanks so much sweetie, really happy you felt all the emotions I wanted to bring out. As for the words about my writing- am so touched, don't now what to say 😳😳, so will say I really appreciate it and lots of love to you. Jai Shri Krishna xoxo

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NITI VYAS

@nut-kut-86

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#375

Res unres.pehle toh aapki desert ki descriptioon se mujhe desert sunder lagne laga hai .hamesha socha karti thi ke desert mein ret k alawa kuch nahin hoga. Phir swasan ki journey veer pe aakhir swara uspar giri . Kaash swara ki jagah main hoti. Khair chodo swara ki kismat sach achi hai
Aur phir swasan ka ek dusre keliye pray karna. Offoo kitna cute. Swara ke pray karne par tho mujhe gana yaad aaya jate thr japan pahunch gaue chin. Who apne liye aayi thi pray sanky kr liye kar baithi aur jab sanky use bata raha tha k duniya itni kathoor ku hai.tho use crow k liye samjha. Aur mere mooh se daphod nikla. Khair.den sanky ka use yeh kehna k who use nafrat kare aur who kisi ache k liye bani hai.and laksha uske layak nahin hai.indirectly .bichaare ke man mein kya bura haal hua rahega
Aur phir uska knife dena .aur swara ka i hate u kehna .yeh baar dono daphod.and who sanskaar ki fight un leecho k saath. Main tho sirf pad hi rahi thi bina hile.of course swara ko koi buri nazar se koi dekhe aur sanky use chod de sawal hi nahin uthta.aur yeh kya tumne pehle pawan ko gayab kiya and ab sushena ko maar dala bichaare ko akela kar diya.amd swara ka us insaan ko maarna rajput khoon.and tum plz sanky ke ans jaise do premio ko maar daalke sukoon mat dena unhe.dar lag raha hai.ab mujhe. And spcl note maine tumhe bataya nahin mujhe veer se pyaar ho chuka hai.happy valentines day to him.and lots of kisses.ab main apni ramkahani bandh karti hoon. Happy valentines day to you.

Edited by nut-kut-86 - 9 years ago

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SIMI

@simsen23

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#376

shruti 🤗
superb update.
swasan are getting closer day by day.
sanskar's feelings for swara is misunderstood by swara,which gives pain to him.
swara's every words is affecting him so much
awww they are so much in love but still confused
i love that part when sanskar was jelous thinking about any other man in swara's life...
then the way swara said him that how she does not consider him as traitor...
and after listening this he just could not supress his feelings and covered it by his anger
but during that attack,he was only thinking about swara...
and that last scene when he brokedown as he thought that he had lost swara...
i hope swara will take care of him both physicaly and mentally...
love,
simi 😊

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#377

Un Res on Page 47. 🤗

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lucky.m

@lucky.m

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#378

How do you do it shruti?

Outdoing yourself with every chapter ..It was more than beautiful👏 .👏. and heart touching , The pain frustration and agony of sanskaar penned down brilliantly in your words and that beauty of sand dunes ..I could literally feel being transformed there and its like scene unfolding in front of my eyes..👏👏⭐️

The realization of sanskaar on his intensity of feelings raging for swara when compared to kavita ..he didn't even think of her unless swara pointed that out and the part where he was jealous even with thought of swara being with some one else.. I loved that line that he wanted to set fire already ruined place ..brings out the intensity so well ,that fight with bandits and his cry swaraaa..I could actually feel that ..I loved this update..totally loved it ,read thrice already

and Did I say I love veer too😉 and are we going to get the part of swara tending to sanskaar wounds,taking care of him ,hmm maram patti scene kind in next update .and It was all swasan in this update.😳 with no third fourth parties😆

waiting for next update

Lucky

Edited by lucky.m - 9 years ago

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#379

Originally posted by: .Avengers.
f**k IF deleting my whole reply 😡
Shru, it was fav. Action +romance=

The description of ruin is so hauntingly beautiful. I am inadequate in vocabulary to say how brilliant you are when it comes to describing, so just imagine all nice things 😛 Swara lost in the melancholic setting, and the prince lost in her. The most turbulent period of her life, and she prays for his peace? He also does the same, though thinking her with another man makes his akin crawl. So Lakshya was unworthy. Are you worthy, Prince?

The fight was so intense. Sanskaar's confusion and feelings just reached at the boiling point and burst out. Swara have no clue what's going on in his head, blowing hot and cold on her! Both of them didn't mean a word what they said. If Swara starts hating him again, he might actually die. Swara is uncomfortable thinking Sanskaar thinking about his long lost life. The guy is so shocked that he IS not thinking about cavity😆 which only supplied to add fuel. He also thinks he might ruin her more, but is he strong enough to push her away for good? Will she go? Can she?

Now those leecherous thugs😡🤢 gah, ogling at Swara. I hate those jerks. Why one of Sanskaar's knife didn't hit his eyes or groin😡 once again the guy proved why he was considered best! Can we get a scene where Sanskaar Lakshya fights? Maybe just sparring, to show whose the boss😆 the scene where Sanskaar is bleeding to death yet his last thoughts are of Swara, and he screams thinking she is dead is goosebump rising. This guy is a dream. Its writers like you who is at fault you know, rising unrealistic expectations of poor girls like us😆 also I liked how Sanskaar us injured not Swara. Read enough stories with refrigerator problem🥱

A special mention to Veer. He's as important character in story right now as others. Very clever and loyal.

So Sushena is dead as well? Sanskaar is all alone in his mission then? The map is with the thugs, he might go back to collect it.

Are you from India? Hope you slept well after thus extremely satisfying chapter😆

Update soon.

Rita dear 🤗

I was so happy when I had seen your lovely comment so soon after the update and I have been naughty is not replying quicker but I wanted to take time to do a proper response! And oh no- first reply bhukhad, horrible IF khaa gaya?! 😡

But you still did me such a nice long reply after?! 😳👏 Mmmwah to you.

Ahhh these comments - they made me so happy! Look me me- you talk of vocab and mine is now reduced to "happy" 😆. But you read the sentiment into it ok?

I had a long think about the mutual praying- played with various lines and thoughts and then settled ultimately for this as like you say, such turbulence in their lives and also their peace is actually with each other so they are praying for themselves too whilst praying for the other 😳.

You too get huh that this Price is somehow going to think everyone is unworthy even himself but his secret heart would rather she stay with unworthy him than unworthy other party 😃.

Ah- that "I say I hate you but mean something totally different" confrontation was again one that I had to do some work on to make sure I didn't over do it but also so it did retain some intensity. Yes, they are both so confused and clueless about what to feel, how to act, how not to kill each other, how not to kiss each other 😆. I liked the idea that of course she would think he's thinking of the toothache but he is only obsessing over the perfect princess and thus angry about that too!

Yes, those nasty low lives, that is why Sanskaar didn't even bother replying, a knife did the talking to the one who dared say he would take Swara 😡🤢. You want a SanLak fight now?! 😆😆 Abh yeh main kaise karoon?! 😆. Hmm, wait to see what happens between SanLak and then you can decide whether it was enough or not 😉.

Refrigerator problem 🤣. Glad you liked that scene and to me Sanskaar is truly a dream- I love this man so much . I deliberately wanted Swara to do some saving now, Sanskaar has had enough to do and like you said, it would have been rather obvious that Swara was hurt and he tended to her 😃.

I so love Veer, when I conceived of this FF, Veer's role was not so stellar but as I wrote him, he really felt perfect so here we are! Sushena 😭. Oh I have confused you too about the map, I think I'll edit and put a note at the end of that chapter. See, the Nagabhata map is with Sanskaar and is safe. The map the bandits took from Sushena was the map he had which is how he found Sanskaar- that only had directions to the old haveli so they had that and part torn. So no, they don't need to chase the other map 😃.

I live in the UK- hence my updates are my early hours in the morning here . I had around 4 hours sleep that day/night and am still rather tired but have woken early so I can make a start on 13!

Will wait for your views on that.

Lots of love to you xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#380

Originally posted by: bwvianna
Unres page 47 :)

Mmmwaah V- I will do a proper reply as soon as poss. I just woke early so I can start on 13 as need to whilst the flow is on so pls don't mind the delay hon. Thanks for the comments xoxo

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DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- T2- DELETED- AN- PG 1 - Page 38

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