DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- DELETED- AN- PAGE 1- PLS READ - Page 4

wow, i love the setting of the story.

Congratulations Shruti for foraying into the world of a new kind of writing for you...I'm sure it won't be so difficult tho u being a marvelous storyteller!!!

And the prologue has totally proved it!! At least from me you will never read any complains of not following history or even the norms of a certain era not being very familiar with Indian history specially of the 18th century!! 😃

A gory beginning with my dear sanskaar being lashed!! But oh! He has really lost his mind??? Hope not ...at least he recognized his Ma even in this terrible state...

Pls pm me when u update the next part dear

Love Tas

Originally posted by: Sakura24

Could I love it more. My dearest Shru, this time you have outdone yourself, and brilliantly at that. The characters do have some material to them that can be spun in to gold in the times of lost ages, and you have done that wonderfully.

You know I have a very soft corner for historical narratives and stories that run in the periods of kings and queens, there is something different about the aura in those...and this my dear is one tasty treat to me!

And thanks for dedicating something so awesome to me. Oh how much I love this, I just can't tell you!

This Annapurna is cool, the regal, the elegant and the don't-get - my-wrong-side type strict, the way she simply out turned Bagri was perfect. Her towering persona over the obviously shaken up man was brilliant! I have many times imagined this form of her, you know the queenish aura, the way you captured that very image is mind blowing!

Coming to Bagri, the man gives me vibes of a person with a large ego, which I guess for some reason was hurt by the prince in the past...now he seeks to avenge the same in a very hateful way. The man as he is your creation here, draw a very profound image in my mind of him and the way he insults or tries to insult Sanskar and how he shakes in stunned disbelief at Annapurna's words...very very imagery those descriptions are.

Coming to Sanskar himself...is he really insane? The intensity you described in his behavior hardly made me think so. Oh how I adore the royal tints to the steely man we already know and admire! Seems a strong character gone astray or probably destroyed by a bitter past here. I will leave it to you to give me more details, but at the moment I can hardly believe such a man would get defeated by his own senses.

I don't know how to stop the on going comment that seems to type on itself! But I must stop here and wait for you to update more. Just know that you have an eagerly waiting fan in me!

loads of love,

Sakura

Originally posted by: Lavender_Love

Shruti... I will be very honest with you, right now I am not finding words to express how I feel. I am literally in awe after reading ...completely speechless. You have taken your writing's level a notch up Sis. You have completely outdone yourself. 👏👏👏 The title for this story is perfect and absolutely goes with the picture you have painted through synopsis and prologue.The synopsis has been written very beautifully... If I was excited yesterday... I am 100x excited now to read it more. Like I told ya even though I know some points of this story... your writing and story telling alone makes it much more intriguing. You are like a magician with words Shruti. Your words and story telling is always so impactful. Coming to Prologue, perfect title and quote for the prologue. Loved the quote you used. Like you said the opposing pairs in this quote depicts that times so amazingly... but also perfectly convey the theme of this story. You know... I seriously dont understand why you were doubting yourself about posting it??...Its beyond perfect Shruti... just like I had thought, so take heed to my words never again doubt yourself about your work, as I told you..you're magician of words. I only read the first phrase and as always your words painted the scene perfectly in my mind's eye. It was like I was teleported to that place... I am walking down a corridor and I can hear the sound of whip lashing echoing. and then I am standing in a dungeon. The way you described Sanskaar is absolutely perfect. Your words so amazingly depicts the intensity, the aura, the complexity of Sanskaar's character. We got glimpse of him but I am so looking forward to read more about him and how you will explore him. You writes Sanskaar's character so amazingly that it is always a treat to read. Right now this Sanskaar is an enigma for me...I want to know more about him... Physically, he seems to be enduring this torture for quite sometime, but spiritually he seems to be very strong as we caught glimpse of it when he started down in Bagri's eyes. The one word Maa... speaks volume about Annapurna and Sanskaar's bond. I am looking forward to read about them too. I loved how you wrote Annapurna... there is something about the women of that era. Their grace, strength, intellect is something that has always intrigued me and here Annapurna is every bit like a queen should be. How she stood up and won against Bagri is amazing. Bagri, now this character seems to be a trouble maker like a jealous insecure opportunistic man.
Now that my rant is completed... I am so gonna trouble you with this...I want update as soon as you can manage... otherwise I will do something you will not like 😈😆 You know when I completed reading it ...I was like where is next part..then I remembered that its a SS.😆 But really this is one of the best of your work Shruti... and I am accepting your thank you this time only because we girls did good by pushing you to post it..see how amazing it is 😉 But only LAST TIME... ok??!! So as a return gift my thanks to you for your time and dedication you are putting for this story. 😳😳
Love ya...
Nitz

LOOKING FORWARD TO ALL OF THE CHAPTERS

Originally posted by: .FairyDust.

Andd RES!

EDITED.

First of, Thank you SO much for the dedication, Shru! 🤗 Your idea was just so brilliant that we (Anna, Shruti, Nitzy and me) just knew this is going to be one legendary and magical piece!! And we were right! By now you know how much I love history-historical fiction, they just exude a different level of mystique and beauty and WOW I can see a beautiful mix of ALL that in this FF of yours!! ❤️

Ah and the start was SO good! That prologue is so amazing and intriguing, we get all those mystery-intense type of feels from it!! Your a pro at this! 👏

And now coming to the first update, wow Shru the whole scene was bang on. Yes I'm going to call it a scene and not a part as that is what it was to me. As I began reading, the whole thing just jumped out of the screen and I could see it playing out in front of me! Your imagery is so good. ❤️

And Annapurna is the queen here, this was not hard to imagine as AP always seemed to exude this regal aura from her. I just loved what little glimpse we got of her bond with Sanskaar <3. And needless to say I loved her Don't-mess-with-me attitude, She seems to be every inch of a Queen here 👏. And this Bagri seems like a trouble maker. One of those men with a sense of misplaced pride/ego and he's sure to create trouble in the future.

And now coming to our very own Dark Knight - Sanskaar. 😳 Ah the description of his plight is perfect! And I feel he has been tortured and drained physically but he's just as strong mentally. <3 He has me hooked, already. 😆 And He is SO going to be such a pleasure to read. 😳

You're doing a fab job Shru! 👏

Eagerly waiting for the next update!

Lots of Love,

Yukthi.

Originally posted by: foresight

I loved the setting. Revenge, bravery, love, passion have a different flavour altogether when you bring in historical flavour to it, add the spice of royalty and you have brought us one hell of a intriguing plot.

I feel that a brave commander as the one he was, would also be smart and strategising. he could not have been trapped into something unless it was with utmost deceit and treachery. I am looking forward to see it unfold.

So Sanskar is not insane. I don't know if AP really believes him to be either, though she said those words to him. i wonder if there were more an instruction to him for him to be aware how he is being pulled out. Obviously someone would have needed to push the doctor to give that certificate. i don't know if sanskar's acting could have convinced him. esp since he still seems mentally adamant, though not childish, he has tried to escape and doesnt want to listen to those, who as AP, said want to torture him.

wonderful start to the story. I am really looking forward to how you weave it next. You have an exception way with details but also with words. for me, they connect even more than historical factuality, so please don't stress yourself over it. I know all of us will more than enjoy what you have to offer here.

PS Thanks so much for the mention. 🤗

Originally posted by: coolgal270

Shruti,

I stumbled upon this one by chance and boy I am glad to have done so!! You are an amazing writer and your words captivated me from the very go of the Intro itself!!

It is such an enthralling plot - the idea itself deserves 🤗 Personally, I am partial to historic romance & dramas...Always have been..and this fits into my 'wao' story scenario so perfectly!

And you have written it so clearly...I could Imagine the setting, the place, the kind of people we wil be dealing with, just with few lines of yours!

If this would be shot & portrayed on TV, I can visualize the 'Set".. and that is one brilliant write up!!

Hats off yaar.. I thoroughly enjoyed the prologue...and cant WAIT fo you to continue..

Please include me in your PM list!! Would be waiting for the next chapter!!

Lots of love, Sumi

Originally posted by: KawalArora

First of all so sorry for commenting so late bcoz i wanted to read it peacefully as i read my fav books in bed
nxt i want to say thanks a ton for writing my name n including me in ur fav gang of frnds n people
now to this epic story
OMG OMG OMG
are u sure u want to continue this in forum...

plz think again n den decide dear bcoz wat i read here in beginning is sooo much awesum dear plz write a book yar u can not spend ur talent like dis
u can be one of the successful authors out there
This story is going to be the best on this forum i tell u now it gave me goosebumps when Sanskar said maa n when Annpurna said Sanskar
Girl u hv so much talent n u r so so hardworking i hv become ur fan for life time yar
powerpact fiction its gonna be n so much different n so much epic
will wait desperately for its updates
lots of love n best wishes n plz think yar to become professional author

Originally posted by: Meself

Woah! I can swear the first thing that popped into my head was Christian Bale! Who better than him to cloak the armor of the Dark Knight? I haven't really read your work before and I am sure you don't know me as well! So allow me to introduce myself. Heya there! I am Shivani and I am a sucker for stories, I am a biology+literature student and try as much I always give into the temptation of a wonderful read! I was just roaming around when I caught on to this particular piece, this forum harbors some really talented minds and so far I've had encounters with Nimmi, Viji and Sakura and I am glad to hitch a ride on your wagon as well!

I am deeply, madly and irrevocably in love with history...this has been my favorite subject as far as I can remember and I have volumes and papers on Indian history that I love reading and re-reading. The 19th century is a bubbling hotpot that really changed the face of history to something that we know of today! Battle lines were drawn, war was waged and in general the blood was shed. 1803 was the time when a massive battle cry was heard not very far from Rajasthan, the home of both heroes and fables.

The story begins with veiled violence and although no background is set or erected, I could see torrential rains and flickering mashaals with sting of the whip cutting through someone's flesh...grotesque but massively engaging. But what I loved the most was that murderously sharp detailing of a panther that has taken a hit and is preparing to strike back for lethal finish. God! How I love these dark, abraded dwellers of the abyss!! The seething exchange of glares with one ripping at others soul and the other trembling at the aftereffect of a miscalculated move is something that blockbusters are made of, totally seeti maar!

And I loved Annapurna as well, the majestic queens of our land...the alpha females, just how can one not adore them with all their fiber of living? That steely personality and graceful yet fierce stride is enough to make the mightiest quiver. And loved the fact that you made a direct reference to the fact that kings are gods of kingdoms but the fortress belongs to the queens. That is the second thing to have stolen the cherry atop my cake!

And what is with Sanskaar? How did a might commander fall this bad? What rabbit are you planning to pull out of your hat? God I am getting impatient, I am already obsessed with a few things and this adds to the list! Just write it down soon-ish! Please!

P.S. The title "Rana" is the title of an emperor in Rajwadas, under him or this Imperial Crown you have various Kings/Maharaj or Ministers/Saamants. It would be more appropriate if the Maheswaris are Saamants. You see the Saamants had control over a cluster of villages ( the number could vary from a paltry 100 to 10000 depending upon the rank of the Saamant in question) and also they had their own militia and cabinet of minister to take care of the day to day affairs of the Saamanti Raaj under their control. They collected taxes from their subjects and could wages war against other Saamants without the interference of the Emperor or the Kings.

You have set the story line in 1803 when Maharaja Ranjit Singh had established his rule over Punjab and Lahore, when the comradeship between the Rajputs and Mughals were declining at a steady rate as the Mughal empire had begun to rot from within all thanks to the despot Aurangzeb and the second Anglo-Maratha war had begun. This was the reason why a lot of independent states had emerged as factions of power; the trade was at a rise because the British were slowly invading every sector and the political churning within every independent and dependent factions had begun. I hope you are not offended as this is your canvas and solely your picture that would be painted but it's just a suggestion and I am really sorry if this anyways has hurt you. I'd look forward to the updates on this one!

~XOXO

-S