Against All Odds- A SwaSan Four Shot

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#151

Originally posted by: maaneetfan
Finally all read n wowww...no words!! An amazing 4S ...loved the last part too...very realistic end i must say. Wht i loved most was tht dialogue by durga prasad...while reading it i could almost hear his voice to those words in my mind...felt like im watching a motion picture not reading a story...really beautiful n feel a bit down too since it has ended. So now u hv to write some more new ones!!

Thank you so much! Very glad you liked the whole thing. Welcome to the "we love DP gang", many of us are in it! 😃. Don't be let down, I'll be back with more soon 😉 but only if you keep reading and telling me what you like and don't like 😊

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#152

Originally posted by: Sakura24
Shru, meri Jaan take a bow,
If this is the dawn that comes after the darkest of nights, I would take hundred more shots of that night, only to end up reading that last shot of dawn. Oh, how happy I'm feeling at the moment. It has just the perfect depth, pressure and dose of emotions. I'm so glad the utterly stubborn yet overly adorable couple sorted out their differences. Ragini's truth revelation was highly unexpected for me, but always a pleasant surprise! Lakshya...god, I could imagine DP's look as he slapped him...that is scary. But well deserved. SO, he is exiled now, along with his lovely wife back to her Dadi's!
And finally all that ends well especially on moonlit nights have a soft spot reserved in my heart. Their conversation was cute.
All around, marvelous job done (Better than the show track actually) And some balm on our sore wounds rubbed, in another imaginary world SwaSan finally united, this is where you should feel proud of yourself.

Saku my love 🤗

Thank you for your as ever wonderful words. The line about dawn after dark nights is wow! So happy to read how you felt about this 4 shot- I am totally exhausted having written all weekend so when I read this type of reaction, it makes me feel validated. More slaps should have been given, maybe kicks and punches too but hmmm, let's see what torture I can devise for other works 😉. Thanks again hon xxx

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#153

Originally posted by: monsi08
Loved it !!!

Thanks so much 😃

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#154

Originally posted by: misaki
Shruts🤗 I really have to thank you for this wonderful wonderful piece of work. With all the segments and confusion that is going around, this was much needed dose of SwaSan. And I really am saying this with all honesty, that I really wish the writers of the show had as much talent and creativity that writers like you do. Too much to ask for a Indian soap I guess.🤔

Part 3 -
Arey main toh bekaar main pareshan thi yeh soch ke ki I had to bear Mahaan Sanskaar . I was so very happy when I read your brief in the beginning. Always practical, mera Sanskaar.❤️
I loved how you managed to make Swara realize her feelings for him without having to take Salman Khan's help. The Sindhoor bit was very very nicely done. I was grinning like an idiot reading it. Made me so very happy. And for that I really feel like giving you a bada wala jhappi🤗
I loved that it was all very "filmy". Sanskaar diving in front of her to save her and that very public confession Complementing his too! Hayye! I think I was as happy as Sanskaar was.😆 But you know what I loved more than the confession? No? His almost rejection Shru😃😃😃. It made me sooo damn happy. I can't tell you how much I loved reading that part. *Sadist muh* Seriously, it almost redeemed her character, "almost" being the keyword. I liked that you made her realize just how much her actions had hurt him. Okay I don't hate you anymore Swara. Don't you dare let him go now. Kush raho! (ashirvaad)😆 And best part of all of it was that "You-know-who" didn't even have a dialogue. Meaning no pakao !😆 I was actually dreading this part thinking she would again torture me with her dilemma of love him love him not! Such a pleasure to read it turned out to be.

Part 4-
Of course I loved the conversation between them in the hospital room where Swara managed to once and for all drill it into his brain that Mr. LDPM had never been a choice. Made my Sanskaar so very happy in turn making me very very happy.😃
But my favorite for the part was DP though. I have realized that I have started to like him a lot these days. Now when you see and read stuff like this can you blame me. He deserves a big jhappi too🤗 I love him the most after Sanskaar and Ragini ( surprise 😛)
I loved how you managed to finally put a stop to all the drama by getting him into the picture. Ever-reliable DP who adores Sanskaar and Swara. I of course have to mention how you brilliantly managed to convey how Laksh had turned into a mirror to Ragini. DP you almost made me forgive you for slapping my Sanskaar.😃 DP and AP part was nicely done, the understanding that these two have seriously is just something else. They really are Sr. SwaSan. I don't like either of the ladies.😆 Of course I have warmed up to your Swara now😃
My favorite line of course had to be one from DP. It was hard to choose since I almost loved all of them .
"Even more significantly, he finished saying he needed the children he could trust around him and on that basis Sanskaar and Swara were invaluable to him, so they could not go"
Made me so very proud of my Sanskaar.
Also It also made me very happy to read that the old carefree Sanskaar was back.I could almost imagine him grinning his stupid carefree grin.❤️ It is such bliss to see that amazing smile adorn his face. Cannot get enough of it

Now if only the CVs read and adopt it word to word.😉

Geetu 🤗

Ah please don't thank na! I will then have to do too many thanks for all this love and beautiful comments, you are one of those I can always rely on for a real in depth analysis. And I am now 😳😳 at your words.

Na na- I wasn't going to make Sanskaar a sadhu, not me for our Sanskaar 😉. But I did think he would get confused by Madam's OTT reactions to everyone including Lakshya. Hence he gave her that choice and deliberately left the option concerning himself out.

Yes, I wanted to follow roughly the same type of broad plot like as the show but somehow make it credible, hence it was so hard to write this one. Oh you liked the sindoor message- your the first to mention it- so happy!

Big waala huggy to you back!

Yes, I like filmy when writing FFs as it is meant to be on TV after all but only filmy in a sensible way if that makes sense? Drama is good but not mindless drama types?

I knew, so knew you would like me "tadpavaing" Swara somewhat. Medha really helped me here as I wanted it not to click into place too easily.

Urgh- it was hard enough to write the scenes with you know who so in this part couldn't stretch to dialogues.

4: DP is our man 😎 Been wanting him in a serious supporting role so took my chance! Love the man. And Ragini is such a layered character- way more than Swara so not surprised you "like" her- anyone who is serious about writing would. You, me, Medha, Viji, we all do. I wanted to redeem DP after his slap of Sanskaar before, so this was my way to make amends.

Thanks so much for this G- love you xoxo

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dilwali

@dilwali

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#155

too gud. Thoroughly enjoyed. thanku for writing it so beautifully. Now i want same in show as well but cvs may make us wait a long for it and Ragini revelations

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#156

Originally posted by: KawalArora
too gud. Thoroughly enjoyed. thanku for writing it so beautifully. Now i want same in show as well but cvs may make us wait a long for it and Ragini revelations

Hey! Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it:). Ah yes in the show we may need to be very patient!

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Monica_Suhasini

@Monica_Suhasini

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#157

shruthi wonderfully written...👏

seriously relieved after reading 3rd part as u said

here swara z smart and not mahaan...its tooo goood

kaash serial mey aisa ho...

very much enjoyed dr...😊

her confession in front of whole family... her inner turmoil

sanskaar asusual awesome

penned it down perfectly...⭐️

thanku for writing this beautiful story🤗

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Purbi

@Purbishona

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#158

I loved the last part.. You nailed it girl.. What to say yaar.. Brilliant.. DP is a smart man.. He gave it back to Laksh.. And the hospital and bedroom scene.. Awww. Swara was so caring.. Hahaha. And Sanskaar ke liye kya bolu pata nahi.. Be like that always handsome..

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#159

Hey Shru...🤗 🤗

So here I am, back to comment on Chapters 3 and 4, which for me, were a balm to the heart after the angst and MU of chapters 2 (mainly) and little bit in 1. 😊 I know we have a "no thanks, no sorry" rule in place, but can I just say, that your lovely scrap just before you posted chap 3, helped me sleep a whole lot better. I would have had supremely disturbing dreams of SwaSan's severe MU and potentially long drawn out separation otherwise!!

As I think I've already told you, these two fascinating people seem more real to me than my neighbors down the street; and that is starting to worry me a little bit. 😉 Ok, truthfully, I have no intentions of changing that, but you know what I mean, I guess!

Coming to the updates.

Chapter 3: Finally, I appreciated Swara here, for at least articulating the reason for her hesitation to commit to a course, of acknowledging the depth of her feelings for Sansku. She's scared of the intensity of her own feelings; and I loved the way she says, that she couldn't possibly survive, if the bond she shared with him went kaput like the one earlier with Lakshya. The comparison of one "love" being a mere drop, as compared to the ocean of her intense feelings for Sanskaar, was a very deft touch. I love these little nuggets of word play when I read, it's like finding a favorite macadamia nut amidst a nut cluster, and relishing it specially! 😊

And kudos to her, for finally getting over her "pyaari behna" jaap, and seeing Ragini for what she is: a conniving schemer in the guise of a cherub! Liked the way she confronted Ragini, and felt satisfaction at having unmasked her truth. This will never happen in the show, Swara is too mahaan to feel anything but empathy for Ragini, even if she is revealed to have lied monstrously a second time, but hey, these improved versions of Swara can give us peace, right? 😆 Reading this take, reminded me of the saying "If a person fools you once, they're wrong, but if they fool you a second time, you're wrong." Thankfully, the Swara in your tale decided, she'd had enough of being fooled!

The part where Swara internalized and accepted her feelings for Sanskaar--a much needed balm to a crazy SwaSan shipper's heart (mine obviously 😉), which frets incessantly as to why Swara on the serial does not realize she has feelings for Sansku, yet. Swara dahling, for God's sake, listen to your heart, why does it seek him all the time when you need a shoulder, why do you want to discuss everything with him, why do you feel so free to take him for granted...If this isn't love...what is? And of course, cherry on the cake after the KC sequence, she does seem to be attracted to him as well...but she still won't admit it. Heaven help us with this lady---she's slower than a tortoise. Thanks Shru, for making your version sharper on the uptake!

And of course, the entire hospital sequence was well executed. The essential filminess was managed well, without letting it blow over into melodrama. 😊 I had an inkling when you'd told me about the fear and worry aspect earlier, in your comment on my thread, and it did give me a degree of pleasure to see Swara so openly concerned for Sanskaar (though of course, I felt pained that he was in pain! 😉)

Her confession of her feelings in front of the whole family is a personal favorite plot device of mine--since it mirrors Sanskaar's own confession of his feelings before the whole clan---and I was very happy to see it being executed with finesse here.

Chapter 4: Well, I liked how Sanskaar kept Swara "on hold", as it were, from end of Chap 3 till a little bit into this chapter. 😊 Sadistic, I know, I know. But the poor guy has been wearing his heart on his sleeve all this while---surely the Missus could do with some uncertainty, no? 😉 You know I hold DP's character in very high regard, and I do feel he will be a force for the good in SwaSan's life. So it was gratifying to see him play such a balanced, powerful role here. Coming to see them personally, telling them frankly what he'd been told by AP, Lakshya and Ragini, and listening to their side, allowing them to explain fully. I dearly hope, this is the DP we shall see in forthcoming episodes on TV, too.

And the final denouement---Ragini's full and final expose before the entire Maheshwari and Gadodia clans--had a ring of almost poetic justice to it. Lakshya's expose as an obsessive stalker--just as stark. Ragini at least has the dubious excuse of insanity, Lakshya is just plain creepy! 🤢 Can I say, I loved the slap he got? My sole complaint is, he didn't get one from Swara here. You should have made him get a couple na---especially after he shoved aside an injured Sanskaar? 😊 Would have been such a spectacular scene. 😆

About AP: As I'd mentioned in my last comment, I was quite disgusted with her overweening maternal selfishness, but I wanted to reserve overall judgement on her till I'd read the full story through. She still didn't come through too well---though my antipathy towards the AP in your tale is of course less than the intense negative feelings I have for your Lakshya and Ragini 😆---but at least, she didn't seem to try manipulating Swara. Whether this was because she didn't want to push her luck with Swara; whether she thought Sanskaar's "just so much and no more" promise, of talking to Swara about potentially giving a second chance to Lakshya, would be enough to sway her; or whether, after all, some innate sense of decency held her back, I'm not sure.

I would like to believe the 3rd, but I'm afraid, the scene in the end where she also attempts to back up Lakshya, inclines me to think of the second alternative. Oh well...I'm just glad our Golden couple had DP in their corner! 😉

And the ending---with a naughty Sanskaar saying he would like to get a proof of Swara's love, while simultaneously proving his love to her---on the bed, no less---was priceless innuendo 😳☺️. Was he at least planning to wait till his burns healed? Or would this "new fire" heal the scars left by the earlier one? 😆

Shru---again, I have rambled on and on. You've banned me from saying sorry. So I'll just content myself by saying--you know, why I write such detailed comments for you, Medhu and Saku, when you write about SwaSan. Need I say more??

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago

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nissi or jesi

@Jess_Ru

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#160

frootie wonderful ending 👏 want dis to happen but cvs will dragloved how sanskar protects her nd she realises nd the test was amazing ❤️ thanks for the pm

⭐️ these r for u

Edited by Messi2 - 9 years ago

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Against All Odds- A SwaSan Four Shot - Page 16

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