It was a usual morning in the Maheshwari household. Everyone was at the breakfast table, eating what Parineeta and Ragini had cooked for them. It must be delicious, Swara thought as the smell of hot parathas wafted towards her. However conniving and evil Ragini might be, she cooked well, Swara thought inwardly, smiling to herself. Past few days had been surprisingly good for her. People no longer thought she was the culprit and no longer blamed her for running away from her wedding. At least that blame was off her shoulders. However things were still not better between her baba and maa and she knew Ragini would plot something soon to create trouble as her "Lakshya ji" had now completely disowned her and was after Swara's life to earn her forgiveness. The whole family was shocked when Lakshya had finally declared how Swara had been innocent all along and since that day, Ragini hadn't gotten any attention from her dearest Lakshya ji. Well, she didn't care. She didn't give two hoots about what Lakshya thought anymore cause she knew he didn't deserve her attention and love. And the person who deserved it was nowhere in sight, making her sigh deeply..her expression forlorn. She kept pushing her food around and hardly ate anything, half heartedly sipping her orange juice, seemingly engrossed in the weird patterns on her parathas.
This didn't go unnoticed by people at the table and Parineeta was the first one to tease Swara, mistaking the sadness in her eyes as lovesick expression for him, which wasn't completely untrue. But, Swara didn't think things would become better where they were concerned after what had happened last night or rather what she had witnessed. Swara remembered how he was clutching her photo to himself, his eyes bloodshot as unshed tears glistened in his beautiful eyes and face flushed from crying. Yes, he had been crying and yes, he had beautiful deep set eyes. And yes, she had noticed, several times. Coming back to the point, he wasn't crying because of her, he was crying for her, his first love, Kavita.
She had probably never seen anyone so broken before and witnessing that made her heart ache terribly. For him. It felt as if someone was repeatedly stabbing her heart with a knife. Is that how he felt when she used to talk about Lakshya? Did he feel this kind of pain when he saw me struggle to contain myself around Lakshya? If this is how it felt just the one time I saw him grieving for his first love, how would he have felt? Swara knew she hadn't been fair to him initially when he had told her he loved her. Yes she was impulsive and back then, she was afraid, terribly frightened of losing that one person who was her constant to something as whimsical as love. Little did she know that love is never whimsical if it's true. Now she knew.
But after witnessing his heartbreaking grief for Kavita, she started doubting whether what he felt for her was that strong. All sorts of questions like infatuation, feelings due to close proximity started forming in her mind cause she was quite sure that if someone could grieve for their love the way he was grieving, it would be practically impossible to forget them. Impossible. Swara sighed and looked up from the plate she was staring at, to find the whole family curiously staring at her.
"What happened?" she looked at all of them, alarmed and embarrassed of her quiet monologue doubting the quietness' of it. What if she had said something out loud? Annapoorna smiled at her softly and said, "Beta, why don't you go and call Sanskaar for breakfast? I know he sleeps in late on weekends." She added the latter so that it didn't seem she was teasing poor Swara for missing her husband but her expression said everything, her expressive eyes which kept darting towards the staircase in hope of that her husband would come down. Sweet, she thought fondly.
Swara could only stutter, too embarrassed to say anything she just nodded and got up. Not the one to defy the orders of elders. Defy? Your foot. You know why you got up immediately. Even you want to see him. She mentally tried to shut herself up. She felt strangely awkward and nervous to go in their room after last night. It felt as if she wasn't supposed to be there anymore and that broke her heart. She didn't know why she was feeling this way. Kavita wasn't even in this world anymore and she was feeling jealous of her? Why? This isn't right, she told herself firmly. He has all the right to love whoever he wants to. She spoke to herself as she hesitated before entering the room.
There he was, combing back his hair neatly. He looked ravishing in blue. Ravishing? Really Swara? Its too Mills and Boon-ish. She mocked herself as she twisted her duppatta ten times.
Sanskaar noticed his wife mumbling something to herself, unwilling to look at him as he turned around from the mirror, waiting for her to say something but to his amusement he found her suddenly too interested in the patterns on the tiles. Well well, what do we have here? Why did she seem so nervous? Did she do something she wasn't supposed to? He was used to her crazy ideas and different ways. Yeah, she was special, in all ways, he chuckled to himself.
The moment Swara looked up, she noticed he had moved closer to her. Much closer. Uh huh, bad idea, bad idea, move away..her brain warned her but her heart did not want to move away. She wanted to reach out and smoothen that stubborn lock of hair which never stuck to its place, she wanted to cradle his face in her palms and lovingly touch his sharp nose, she wanted to go on her tip toes and kiss him. Kiss him? Wow. That escalated fast. She thought to herself.
To Sanskaar, she looked like she was acting in a silent movie, so many expressions but no words and then suddenly he couldn't take this unbearable cuteness and he touched her arm, shaking her out of her silent movie mode only to realize he had startled her.
"What happened Swara? Everyone is still downstairs right? Sorry I slept in late today and I am extremely hungry." He said. Suddenly he felt her going stiff. She remembered his cause of disturbed sleep and it was like a splash of cold water in her face and she automatically took a step back and mumbled, Yes. Everyone is there. Please come down.' And with that she spun on her heels and left a visibly perplexed Sanskaar behind.
Now what is she upset about? He thought to himself, as he had no idea that Swara had seen him grieving for Kavita last night. It was her 5th death anniversary and after a long, long time he could remember her with bittersweet memories. His eyes clouded with tears when he spoke to her about Swara and told her how much she meant to him and how he thought she would soon go back to Lakshya. Sanskaar did not cry for Kavita, he grieved for his impending separation from his only solace, Swara.
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PART B: PAGE 4.
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