Swara couldn't shake off that weird feeling since last night. She knew she was fretting over nothing, she knew Sanskar loved her now but still, somehow after witnessing that kind of pain, heartwrenching in its wake, she felt as if Sanskar still loved Kavita and she was just a distraction, just someone he happens to like a lot as a friend and his feelings of love for her was misplaced.
Sigh. All these feelings of love and distraction are too confusing. She muttered to herself and felt a now familiar headache creeping up. She slightly rubbed her temples and stood near the kitchen counter, taking deep breaths. She absolutely hated headaches. They were a pest. Neither did they leave nor did they let her function without making its presence felt. Exactly like his love, No? Her heart whispered to her, slyly.
"God! WHY! Just shut up and mind your own business." She snapped at no one in particular. Maheshwari Mansion was now lit with dim lights, everyone had had their dinner and now were now most probably asleep. Swara was the last one to go upstairs, very evidently trying to avoid her husband. Husband? Oh god. She groaned. This was SO not good. She was familiar with these feelings, this kind of helplessness, the butterflies in the stomach, the incessant thoughts about that one person, but this time around? It was thousand folds more than what she had ever experienced for Lakshya.
She was a smart girl and knew when to accept defeat. So when she finally walked in their room, and saw him sprawled lazily on the couch, reading a book, his hair sticking oh so adorably at the back of his head and that slight unconscious pout which he always had whenever deep in thought, which she totally wanted to kiss by the way, she knew she was a goner.
She sighed audibly at this acceptance. Fine. Since nothing can be done and in all probability he doesn't even love me like that, the best way to deal with this is to ignore him. She told herself as she went to the closet to take out her night clothes.
His wife's deflated expression didn't go unnoticed by Sanskar. She had his attention the moment she had stepped inside the room and sighed so tiredly. What was bothering her? He really wanted to know, really wanted to help her. So he got up and sat on the bed, hoping she wouldn't mind for what he had on his mind.
As she came out of the washroom she saw, to her shock that Sanskar was lounging on the bed, his feet dangling off the end a little. God. how tall was he. She wondered.
"Why are you on the bed? Don't you want to sleep?" she almost snapped at him and felt horrible when she saw how he looked a little taken aback and hurt at her tone. No. he did not even realize I was ignoring him the whole day. Nice. He really doesn't care. She thought petulantly.
"Um, I was just wondering if you would mind watching Harry Potter? I mean, I feel like watching a movie and Um, its my favorite too, you know..so?" He suggested hesitantly. She couldn't have said no to those eyes in this lifetime, and she knew that.
"Uh...I don't have the first two parts, do you want to watch the last part of the movie?" He asked her. He knew she didn't like the last part of the series much as it upset her. First two were her favourite, but he didn't have them so he hoped she'd say yes for that. And she did, albeit a little hesitantly, he noticed.
By the time Harry had killed Voldemort, Swara was already in tears. Horrified he sat up straighter and asked her, "WHAT HAPPENED? Are you okay? Is everything alright?" His concern was her final undoing and tears wouldn't stop. She cried and cried and cried. Yes, Harry Potter made her emotional, especially the last movie but she wasn't crying JUST cause of that.
In midst of her crying tirade she saw him pull out his handkerchief and hand it out to her gently. This gesture would otherwise shut her up usually but today, fresh bout of tears brimmed in her eyes as she looked at the suddenly offensive piece of cloth now. She didn't want that. She wanted HIM.
Absolutely lost now, Sanskar had the most incredulous expression on his face. It was clear she wasn't crying because of the movie and he realized there was more to it than met his eye but all his questions would further make her cry and he had no option other than to sit back and wait for her tears to subside.
Slowly she started hiccuping and sniffled adorably into his handkerchief. His heart sighed. He loved her with all his being. But he knew his boundaries too, so instead of taking her into his arms which he really wanted to do, he decided to offer her a glass of water. It was the safest thing to do anyway.
Extremely embarrassed, now that she had come to her senses, she realized she had just made a big fool of herself and refused to look up at him when Sanskar offered her water. She hurriedly gulped down water and tried to get up only to realize that he was now holding her hand.
No. This is not the good time to ask what's wrong when I am already feeling so emotionally drained. She thought to herself. But as she tried to pull her hand away, he held it tighter. She finally sat down with a resigned expression.
"Okay, will you tell me what's wrong or will I have to force it out of you? I have been noticing since morning you are behaving strangely. What's up?" He asked softly, as he shifted closer to her, wreaking havoc on her already sensitized senses.
oh so he noticed? She was miffed anyway.
"Swara..." He prodded gently. "Swara Please?" He slightly touched her tear streaked face, his finger wiping away the tears, the other hand holding hers. That please almost undid her. She did not like him AT ALL.
"You don't like me? What? Why? What did I do?" He was baffled! Oh shit. She had voiced that out loud. Now suddenly angry she pulled away from him and launched herself in a super fast speech which, had he not been smart enough, would have never understood.
"YOU. YOU are my problem. You are so annoying. I have been ignoring you since morning you didn't even ask me once why I wasn't talking to you. You just don't care. I thought you did but clearly, you are too busy doing other things. I am sorry, I am a fool..I just...I don't even know why I expected you to ask me why..why I was ignoring you." She finished, her eyes spitting fire at him still..he looked at her, shocked and suddenly feeling very very elated.
"You wanted me to notice you? To notice you were ignoring me? Why?" He asked her softly. Long dormant feeling of unprecedented joy and hope slowly unfurled in his heart.
"I...I just...I don't know" She started crying again. And this time around he couldn't take it anymore and gathered her close. To his surprise she clutched onto him as if she was afraid he'd let go. Little did she know he could never do that. Suddenly something struck him and he wondered if he should ask her...
"Um, swara..I was wondering if..I...you know, its..uh...that time of the month for you?" he asked her ..suddenly afraid he had said that out loud as he saw Swara pushed him away, shocked at first and then glared at him.
"WHAT?! OF COURSE NOT! HOW DARE YOU! YOU THINK WE JUST CRY LIKE THIS WHEN...WHEN..NO. WE CAN BE UPSET TOO YOU KNOW!" She yelled at him, as she put in some distance between the two of them.
"I cannot believe you'd suggest that. Suggest that my love for you is hormones..and not love. I really do not like you. I don't even know why I care so much cause clearly you are a retard and do not understand girls. You are so infuriating. Who confesses their love and goes back to behaving as if nothing happened? I didn't even-" She stopped short as air suddenly wooshed out of her lungs as Sanskar took her in a bone crushing hug.
HE buried his face in her hair and asked her, he didn't believe she said that she loved him! "You love me?"
Suddenly she realized what she had blurted out and her cheeks bloomed with colour. Sanskar tried to look at her face but she kept holding onto him, not willing to let go yet. One, she was too embarrassed, two, she really loved being in his arms.
"Yes I do. But I know you don't. I know you still love kavita...I know and its not your fault...its just that..I-" She stopped short as he wrenched her away from himself, his expression incredulous!
"I don't love you? Are you mad? How many times do I have to make it clear I do?" He was amazed she would feel something like this when he made it abundantly clear many times that he loved her, unconditionally.
Swara looked at him, confusion etched on her pretty face. "But..but yesterday.. you.." She trailed off as she tried to figure out what he was saying. "But WHAT Swara?" He asked her a little impatiently now.
He couldn't believe his luck! This impossible, lovely, beautiful, stubborn girl he loved, loved him back but had doubt about his feelings? Unbelievable! His feeling of disbelief soon turned into that of slow understanding and then absolute, unadulterated joy when he heard her rush through what she saw last night and how she misunderstood his grief of that for Kavita's absence. Silly girl, he thought fondly.
Gently, he took her small hands in his big ones and held it close to his heart. He had her full attention now, he noticed with relief. Her beautiful eyes looked at him dubiously as he went to on to explain what and why he was doing what he was doing on the balcony last night..
"So..So..You aren't in love with her still" She asked him, as her heart threatened to come out of her chest. She didn't think so much happiness was possible to contain in herself. "No" He said firmly, as his hand cupped her face, his precious treasure, he mused. How exactly did he turn so lucky?
"You thought...you thought...that I would go back to Laskhya?" She asked him seriously and he nodded. The very thought gave him immense pain. She suddenly burst into fits of giggles, making Sanskar frown.
"What's so funny?" He asked a little irritated. "Um..just the fact that I thought I lost my best friend when you had told me you loved me and then you thought you had lost your love when I said I didn't love you and then I thought you never actually loved me when in reality, we have both loved each other since quite long" She summarized their story in a line.
Yeah. It was kind of funny now that she put it that way.
He smiled at her. And she smiled right back at him and then again burst out laughing. Okay. Enough of this. This was their confession moment, it was supposed to be special, not funny.
And special he made it, as he slowly cupped her other cheek and lightly pecked her lips. Effectively shutting her up.
There. He thought, satisfied. Her hands crept up further up his shoulder and she linked her arms behind his neck, albeit shyly. He only needed this to encourage him further as he kissed her, and she kissed him back, with abandonment, passion licking their hearts, eyes heavy with desire.
As he took her tongue in his mouth, his hands touched her everywhere they could and Swara further moulded herself into him, giving him further access. He untied her beautiful glossy mane and pushed it over one shoulder as he unzipped her Kurta. She shuddered as sudden cold air hit her bare back and further pulled him closer as his roving hands found what they were seeking.
He gently pulled her Kurta away, as his lips were still busy loving her neck. He looked up suddenly to see whether she was with him or not and he was pleased to notice, she was very much there. Overcome by emotion, he kissed her again, with so much tenderness that she almost cried again.
She looked up at him shyly and said "I...I think its okay Sanskar. I mean...I...um...I am ready.." his heart slammed against his chest at her words. She really was the sweetest person. She gave her everything to the ones she loved.
Her words humbled him to no end and he stopped.
He zipped her up and took her in his arms, as he made both of them lie down on the bed. Swara looked on, confused.
"I love you Swara, but let's take this a little slowly? Hmm? You humble me. And I want to do this properly. I want to court you, marry you and love you, in that order. If you'd allow that is" He said, as he looked into her eyes deeply, seeking her permission.
Swara knew why her heart chose him. He was a gem of a person and also, He was the only one who could make such corny things sound so romantic. She giggled as she nodded at him vigorously. "I would love to marry you, again." she said, as she kissed the tip of his nose and earned his heart stopping smile.
Loving the feel of being in each other arms, they almost drifted off to deep sleep when Swara suddenly realized, yes! It was indeed almost that time of the month for her. She laughed silently, trying not to disturb her dozing husband.
So indeed, Harry Potter and her PMS had brought this confession into play? Sanskaar would lose it if I'd tell him. No. I will never tell him, he won't stop teasing me, ever. She thought sheepishly. But then maybe, someday I might. She thought contentedly, as she snuggled further into her husband. Too Taken in by him.
Stars shined down upon the couple who had just found their love for each other.
Forever.
Debate Mansion
