SS:An Immortal Love Story,Important note: page 4

Choclate... thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1

HI This is Anushka, So Hello Forum Friends. I am writing anything for the Sira for first time. Give your views and tell me how is it? If you don't like then I won't continue it. PLease comment criticise throw chappals and tamatars but tell me should I continue or not.

See guys I am very nervous So Here you all go:

An Immortal Love Story

Chapter 1 : Page 2


PROLUGE:

The Mithila Kingdom:

The Gauri Mandir:

SITA:

Long Tresses open, Dressed in pure white Lehanga and Blouse and a transparent Duppata on her, A Very Beautiful girl whose features enhanced more and more. She was holding a Thaali and singing a bhajan for Mata Gauri:

Jai Jai Girivar Raj Kishori

Jai Maheswar Chandra Chakori...

But was away from the world in a deep thinking that something new is going to happen in her life, why is she having some unknown feelings or "Anhubhuti" and in this all chaos, she decided to stop her Bhajan and as soon as she turned, She saw Him and felt like she have met Him before.

RAM:

His Long luscious hair open and eyes expressing a calm and composing expression with his extremely handsome features and face cutting divine and a well muscled body. The man was heading with his brother to Gauri Mandir after taking permission to go there from Guru Vishwamitra after the death of Tadaka, but then he don't know why his heart is racing for no reason thinking that something for sure will happen in his life. In all this chaos he stepped on the last stair coming inside the mandir and then he saw Her turn. He felt like he have met Her before.

SOMETHING NEW WAS GOING TO START.

WE KNOW THAT:

UNEXPECTED THINGS HAPPEN IN LIFE UNEXPECTEDLY.

Edited by Choclate... - 9 years ago

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ll_megha_ll thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
wow a new story on sira...
what a beautiful prologue...
just loved it...
beautiful...
do continue and pm me please also read my story on sira


zubi_23 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
beautifull😊
continue soon anushkha,,, and don't forget to pm me😆
Choclate... thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#4
IMPORTANT NOTE:
I was thinking to write a romantic SS on SiRa but what proluge I wanted to write I was not able to
I think everyone didn't like it, I am thinking to discontinue if no one likes it as I am not getting much views aur waise bhi I am not that good like Riya and Manas and Zubi Di
I won't continue if no one likes it
Thankyou
With Lots of love,
Anushka
ll_megha_ll thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Hey dear don't be sad...
You are an awesome writer...
I really liked your writing...
Please continue...
Even i also write on sira and get less response...
Please writw for those who are liking your stories
SweetSau thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Hi Anushka
Oh no please do continue this story I will love to read it. I had read the prologue in the morning bitself but due to some personal problems I can't always comment but I'm reading all the stories that are posted on the forum. So I have read it and I would really love to read this story.
So please do continue.
Love
Sayli
mandy001 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
Plz give laxmila story as parallel lead. U may get more readers. Bcz some readers read only laxmila story.
Thushi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
Nice one .. they thinking is soo same ..both of them think something going to happen in their life .. nd also that they have seen each other


I didnt notice ur post .. most of the post get pushed to next page what to do 😆
lifeiscrazy thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: Choclate...

IMPORTANT NOTE:
I was thinking to write a romantic SS on SiRa but what proluge I wanted to write I was not able to
I think everyone didn't like it, I am thinking to discontinue if no one likes it as I am not getting much views aur waise bhi I am not that good like Riya and Manas and Zubi Di
I won't continue if no one likes it
Thankyou
With Lots of love,
Anushka


Anushka its so nice infact you write so well😃
pls don't discontinue it till now i was busy in translating my new ff into english so nice
we have many lakshmilians so make them a parallel lead😃
dil se
manas😳

Choclate... thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#10

So This is the first chapter of my SS, It is a whole of three pages , a long update, So sorry for it, Do comment as it would encourage me, So here everyone go:

CHAPTER 1:

Sita was standing on the balcony of her husband's room dressed in blue and pink lehanga with no jewelry and kept her long hair open and just looking so gorgeous that she wasn't looking less than a Apsara. Her doe shaped eyes were expressing a certain calm composure, her face enhanced more in moonlit night of Purnima making her look each minute more beautiful. But she was in a deep thinking, yes she thinked a lot before saying or if sitting idle so from today onwards she would only think of him and moments spend with her Ram. Yes you heard it right, he was only hers and no one else. She touched her sindoor placed on the parting of her hair and then the magalsutra. She was happy, today was their first night in Mithilla but she dressed in a simple way because she knew he would like her like that, You know she was not thinking but reminiscing the first time they met and for sure sparks ignited in both of them...

FLASHBACK: THE FIRST MEETING

The Mithila Kingdom:

The Gauri Mandir:

SITA POV:

Long Tresses open, Dressed in pure white Lehanga and Blouse and a transparent Duppata on her, A Very Beautiful girl whose features enhanced more and more. She was holding a Thaali and singing a bhajan for Mata Gauri:

Jai Jai Girivar Raj Kishori

Jai Maheswar Chandra Chakori...

But was away from the world in a deep thinking that something new is going to happen in her life, why is she having some unknown feelings or "Anhubhuti" and in this all chaos, she decided to stop her Bhajan and as soon as she turned, She saw Him and felt like she have met Him before.

RAM POV:

His Long luscious hair open and eyes expressing a calm and composing expression with his extremely handsome features and face cutting divine and a well muscled body. The man was heading with his brother to Gauri Mandir after taking permission to go there from Guru Vishwamitra after the death of Tadaka, but then he don't know why his heart is racing for no reason thinking that something for sure will happen in his life. In all this chaos he stepped on the last stair coming inside the mandir and then he saw Her turn. He felt like he have met Her before.

SITA'S POV:

In my Whole life also I wouldn't have seen a man with such handsome features. I shouldn't be thinking all these things about a unknown man, well he really wasn't that unknown, I thought him to be Ram, Dashrat Nandan Ram but then I can't help but drool over him. But then I remembered that I was Mithila's Rajkumari and thinking all these things was not right and after all my swayamvar was being planned.

But then I saw him, feeling that he is also staring her freely. Yup I am shy but then You see when I met his eyes I seemed to forget the whole world and just got lost in his eyes.

RAM'S POV:

Whoa I wouldn't have seen such a beauty in whole world, something like her. She was just so beautiful. I thought her only to be Sita, Mithila ki rajkumari, Janaknadani Sita, Actually I shouldn't be thinking all these things after all everyone say I am Maryada Purshottam but I can't help after all she was indeed pretty. I saw her blushing due to my continuous stare but then once more when she looked up, I was trapped in her doe shaped eyes.

And I felt like I forgot the whole world and just got lost.

THIRD PERSON'S POV:

Ram never knew when he started walking towards her and got lost in her eyes and face that was being illuminated with the deepaks she was holding on the Thali. And when he got near her, he didn't knew and even Sita was lost in his eyes and the fresh face. The Puja ended and Sita's sisters and Ram's brother turned around to have a look on them, Lakshaman recognized her whereas Sita's sister Urmilla and the two others were confused, then Lakshaman spoke up, breaking the reverie of two lost persons,

Lakshman: Pranam Devi, Aap pechani mujhe, main Lakshman, Aap ne jigyasa vyakt ki thi ki aap mere Bhayiya se milna chaati hai, (And the flashback plays in her mind she saying that she wanted to meet his brother but was not able to, I will wait what if in future I got to meet your Bhaiya)So here, meet my brother Ram

Sita smiled at Ram and Lakshman continued saying: Ye hai mere Bhaiya jinohane Awashmedh main Aswha ki bali roki, Tadaka ka vadh kiya aur Mata Ahilya ka udhar kiya aur( turns towards ram) Ye hain Mithila ki Rajkumari Devi Sita jinhone Ashwa ke ghav ki patti bandhi aur ham jo van main swadhisht bhojan grahan karte the who ye banti thi. Ram to smiled at her.

Sita: Mujhe prasannata hui aap se mailkar, Ashram se lutne ke baad main chintit thi, then Sita thought to add something else or he would think that I was chintit only for him so she said, Sabke liye

Ram for a second got happy with the thought that for him only she was chintit but then when she aaded sabke liye he for sure knew she was chintit only for him.

Urmilla spoke up: Aashram se aane ke pashchayat Didi Atyant vichlit thi, Sita Didi ki choti behen Urmilla ka pranam aap dono ko

Lakshman and Ram did Pranam to her and then Ram Spoke up: Dahram kivijay sunischit karna hamara daitva hai, Mera aur mere anuj Lakshaman ka pranam swikar kare. And folded his hands while she gave him a beautiful smile.

FLASHBACK ENDS: THE FIRST MEETING

She was reminiscing all this that how beautiful was their first meet. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't knew when Ram came and closed the door in all this while, and stood on the steps of balcony, leaning on the wall and staring at his beautiful wife whose open hair were dancing in wind and coming and kissing her face. He felt that on their first meet he was thinking not to stare her but did he knew that from today, from this very time he can stare her for his whole life. He felt an urge to go and keep her hair back, so he sneaked behind her and got hold of her waist. As he did he heard her gasp.

Sita didn't knew that Ram was in the room and staring her from a long time. And in no time she felt being trapped in two masculine arms. She gasped but then recognized the touch.

Sita said, little breathlessly: Swaami!! Aap kab aaye, koi ghosna bhi nahi hui? But Ram was busy in admiring his wife, he was not paying any heed to her questions, he turned her towards him, pulling little bit towards him in that moment and then slowly moving his hand towards her face he moved her hair that was that was trobling her fro a long moment. Whereas he didn't knew that what havoc he was playing on her with his touch. She closed her eyes to relish the touch.

Ram then moved towards her ears slightly toching it, He said: Aap humari phele baar jab hum Gauri Mandir main mile the, uske bare main soch rahi thin na!

And then suddenly Sita opened her eyes and saw Ram smiling, She was shocked for a moment that how did he knew she was thinking all that, But then a blush started creeping on her neck due to the proximity!

MY POV:

BOTH DON"T KNOW WHAT STORES IN FOR THEIR FIRST NIGHT.
SOME PEOPLE COME IN OUR LIFE BUT CHANGE OUR LIFE FOREVER AND FOREVER...

PRECAP: The First Memorable Night.

So Hufff! The first chapter of this SS is at last over I know this is very big but I am so sorry I thought I should give a long update as tomorrow I won't be able to comment or update as I will go in some Puja and then for a picture, Neerja as my exam treat.

So do tell me how is it? You liked it or not? More Romance to come in upcoming updates. Stay tuned to SS: An Immortal Love Story.

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