Why is all gun milan in Horoscope can result in a sad marriage - Page 4

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

Ok today let me touch upon my views on this horoscope matching. Since all the other things Ram spoke about marriage I have covered in multiple posts of mine.

Let me tell you couple of things first before I proceed on analysing the topic. First and the foremost do I believe in horoscope and the fact that planetary movements can create influence on my life. My answer is yes. If we believe in the force of gravity that influences us, the sun and the moon that influences us then of course the other planets also influence us in one way or other though we cannot see them. Since we are all part of solar system.

Now how much do horoscope matching matters to me as far as marriage goes. My belief is that in a love marriage where the boy and girl have chosen each other in mind this should not be used. Even the most learnt astrologer will say milan of mind is over and above any horoscope match.

Now coming to arranged marriage. This is a double edged weapon in an arranged marriage. If you want to say no to a marriage instead of telling anything bad about the girl, boy, girl's family or boy's family the horoscope gives a polite way of rejection.

Now what if you want to proceed with the marriage and what does horoscope hold. For me it gives a direction since not much is known in depth about the boy's or girl's nature the horoscope matching gives a direction on whether these two people can sustain a marriage. It gives the chance percentage. And like Ram said to make that chance successful is completely in the hands of husband and wife. Horoscope is just a probability of success of a marriage. If it say 70% it means there is a 70% chance of success of a marriage, and we should not forget the 30% failure. Whether you will be in 70% or 30% depends on your actions in the marriage as Ram rightly told.

Now coming to why all gun milan can result in a sad marriage. I do not know much about horoscope matching but know this much that each parameter in that matching matches your various characterstics, your thought process, your views, your mental and physical compatibility. Now what is the problem if all these matches. All your decisions will be same, all your thought process will be same, your views will be same and you will be mentally and physically compatible. Theory this sounds good. But in life there arises a circumstance where a different thought process can ward of a calamity or a sorrow. In Sita -Ram's case when they see that golden deer Lakshman warns. Neither Ram, nor Siya heeds much to that warning. If one of their thought process was different, one would have heeded that warning. Maybe would have made other understand and Sita apaharan could be avoided. Yes we know Ravan has to be killed hence Sita apaharan needed and all, but from a story point and from the life point of Ram-Siya their worries started from that point. That decision which could have been averted if there was a conflict in thought process.

Yes different thought process causes conflicts. But if you know to manage conflicts as a couple, then some kind of conflict helps in certain situations. A different thought process can give a different way.

This is just my POV and I found it logical so thought of sharing it.

Originally posted by: sumedha93

It is all very complicated. Karma takes you to your destiny but it is your destiny that takes you to your karma. In life if you look back you'll realise all the decisions you took, all things you did and everything that happened took place to lead you where you are today. You'll see a pattern, everything happening back then was leading you to your present.

Something related to yesterday's episode - My grandmother told that many people avoid getting their children married on same 'thithi' on which Siya Ram got married because their married life was full of hardships and eventually they didn't live together.

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@sumedha I can understand what you are telling. You need to know one thing. Action without direction is aimless and direction without action is useless. So both are important in their own way. I have experienced this pattern you are talking about. I can connect. But for that you need to start somewhere. Some assumption you have to make and start the journey. You will reach where you started as it is a cycle but with a better understanding and most importantly nullifying your fears.

Coming Ram-Siya marriage in my community after the wedding the sumangilis of the groom's family perform the aarti of bride and groom singing a song. It is believed that in mandap groom and bride are treated as Vishnu and Lakshmi. So I have asked my mom why the song is not about Ram-Sita, but it is about Krishna-Rukmini. She had told the same reason. Ram-Siya had so many hardships in their life and most importantly they didn't live together, but Krishna-Rukmini's marriage fulfilling with all purusharth.

Originally posted by: sumedha93

About your post on horoscope for match making, you rightly pointed out why matching of all gun can be disastrous for the marriage. According to me in theory it sounds good that two people are almost same but practically difference is needed for progress of family. In variety lies the key of development. If the couple will have same thinking pattern then both will do and think in same way and instead of having two different view point they'll have only one. They won't be able to look or analyze a situation differently that will definitely not cause any conflict between them but may prove bad for their family. You need to have different opinions before you can decide which one is best or at least better for you.