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"I am sorry Mauli that I hurt you." he uttered that words and left me. He left me just like that, keep me wondering is a sorry is enough, a sorry is demanded for destroying whole life of someone. My husband of years walk away on our happy married life just like that.
" I didn't knew my search for love stop at your door." my best friend whom I treat more than friend said in her defence. She claimed to care for me by hurting me the most.
Mauli keep walking on the streets aimlessly, thinking events of past. 'where I went wrong" this question haunted me for a long time.
If I was more beautiful like Nandini than may be he hadn't reject me. Thoughts of self doubt keep appearing in my head. Everyone tries to boost my confidence by praising me but it seems my heart isn't ready to accept any appreciation.
Today I saw them in annual party of our hospital, hand in hand, smiling and flirting with each other. Its wrong to say my heartbeat didn't accelerated. I want to wipe out scene happening infront of me. Accidentally Kunal stand just near by me in the buffet queue. I just ran away from there. I can't stand presence of them near me. Tears flowed from eyes and suddenly a light flashed on my eyes.
I am in the locked underground tunnel. What I am doing here? How did I lend near?
"No again Mauli, you keep walking, unaware of the road, lost in their thoughts" I hit my head with my hand. I cover my face with my hands in disappointment.
"Click" I listened a voice of unlocking something. I looked around and I am not the only one here. I saw women kneeled on her knees and a man standing infront of her. Flash of light is on the pair, woman was crying and man was watching her in understanding. Panic arouse withun me. I prayed to heavens for saving me this time. I took backstep and collided with someone.
"You have very wrong impression of what happened." the man on the stage earlier said.
"I know people are into things, trust me I won't leak your secret, let me go." I said to ease the tension between us.
He looked me amusingly "we won't captivate people against their will."
Relief wash over me and I pay close attention to his features. He is very handsome man with sharp defined facial features. Unlike Kunal he has mustache which clearly suited him. His body is something different not like regular guy or gym guy. His body is heavy build and confidence present in his body language. He leads me to the table nearby and I noticed he is in black from tip to toe.
"You love black" I uttered without thinking and shut my mouth immediately with my hand.He smiles strangely.
"Meeta and me were in a relationship" I looked him cluelessly for a minute than I grasp the fact, Meeta is woman from the stage. Her look remind me, my heartbreak with Kunal. A familiar sensation start appearing in my stomach. I felt naseous suddenly.I want to go away from here at any cost.
"Today is our separation ceremony." he continued.I never heard of such thing before but I never knew whole this kinky tthing too. I look him cluelessly.
"I didn't feel the same for her which I felt years ago."
"Just because a new more beautiful woman arrived in your life." vengeance present in my voice. This situation refresh the subsided memory.
"Yes,a new woman arrive in my life but that doesn't mean Meeta has anything wrong with her." he explained himself. The same perfect gf/wife talk make me disgusted with this man. What I am doing here and why?
"We always promise each other that if we fall in love or fall out of love, we will discuss it with each other."
"So you were not in a committed relationship."surprise evident in my voice.
" We were committed to our hearts first. There is no point in continuing something where your heart is not. I can't say I love the other one but my feelings is not the same. That person caught my eyes and since than its unable for me keep her out from my mind. I convey the same to Meeta. We tried hard with each other but our passion didn't return. We talk and came to the conclusion that we should end things. "he said.
" So years relationship end like this? Where one enjoy all luxury and other is alone and miserable "I muttered to myself.
" Our relationship is not like your typical husband wife's relationship where husband abandoned or cheat . "his words hit the raw nerve.
" Me and Meeta nurtured a bond together just because I don't have romantic feel for her I'll abandon her. This is the difference, till that encounter, she is dependent on me for many things. Its cruel of me, leaving her in the nick second. Its my responsibility that she doesn't loose her self worth because of me. She move on healthy without damaging herself. As her lover I am off limit but as a friend, mentor, protector I'll be there for her. We were together for years that things should be cherished not regretted. "He completed.
I have mixed feelings with his confession. I don't know what I witness should be appreciated or disgusted but one thing is clear communication solve many things. I saw Kunal and Nandini walking to our building.
"I care for you Mauli." their word echoed in my mind and a chuckle escape from my mouth. It was a lie fabricated to hide their crime.
If they truly cared they give me sometime to overcome the shock but thay married on my divorce day.
They didn't need to do pda in my presence bit they did.
If kunal cared he had communicate his feelings to me but he hadn't.
I didn't know when he drift away and now I don't want to know.
I was alone in the relationship for long time. I was bearing the burden of an unwanted relationship .
I compare the two man and realised Kunal never tried for us, no matter how much I tried it won't be fruitful.
He is just cold towards me. He discarded our friendship too with love. He may be gentleman but not for me. Its not worthy to cry over him.
I walk towards my apartment like everyday but this time with high head.
Mangal Lakshmi
