Nandhini is not rape victim

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Posted: 7 years ago

Varuni and Terenaina: You're very childish. Please read up on rape and its effects on the mindset of the victims.

And marital rape takes place mostly in social settings where the woman is married off with little to no interaction with her future husband, and the wife is told that the husband 'has rights on her'. So they cannot leave him just like that.

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Sir-Please

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Posted: 7 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: 55sasa55
Agree with TM. It looked like she still consented to sleep with Rajdeep those days she was still married to him. Wasn't she happy when she got pregnant? It's not like she didn't want a life with Rajdeep. Also Rajdeep was wrong to attempt to rape her after their separation. He was also wrong before but Nandini didn't oppose much which gave him the thinking that she will be okay with it. Also a [B]real rape victim do not move on so quickly and sleep with other men readily and trust others[B]. If Nandini is able to do that, only shows that she was not so affected by the so called torture she went through. The way episodes seemed to have shaped, it's like she couldn't wait to have sex with Kunal and move on. Cos from what I heard she was the one who initiated the sex. It's not my fault that I cannot accept Nandini's so-called justification, either the Writers have made Nandini that way purposely or Drashti is unable to sell her role.

I agree with literally nothing that you just said but I just have to bold that...some rape victims are hypersexual, they will have sex straightaway and with partners. Not all rape victims with-hold from sex and become catatonic and withdrawn from life.

A real rape victim is anyone who says no...real isn't defined by how much trauma they go throught or how they react afterwards or whatever else you people seem to think. If the person said [B]No[B], then it's [Real Rape].

Nandini more than anything is a victim of bad writing...not much we can do about that. Drashti doesn't write her own lines or direct the script etc. Hate Nandini all you want but to invalidate real life people's struggles over this is ridiculous.

India's archaic stance on marital rape doesn't mean it's not rape.

No Consent = Rape

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AnnaSloan

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Posted: 7 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: VARUNI2014
Exactly in marriage if hubby has forceful sex why live with him and call it as rape ..unless he locks u in house every day and cuts access to rest of world.
U CAN get separated and At least do some odd jobs and live in slum ..why get raped every day i.e u feel it is rape

I respect victims ..never Interacted with marital rape victims .So here some one telling they r marital rape victims ..if they r telling truth I respect them and I will change my view regarding marital rape.

And honestly nandhini has no justification since her character never behaves like rape victim so in her case please stop supporting her bcos she us rape victim ..Bcos she never behaves like that

@Red: Well, I did say that - and I don't care if you think I am telling the truth or not because I am not awaiting your validation. I am not stupid to come on an open platform and lie. I don't know how old are you, but clearly, you don't understand the term marital rape at all.

And while its easy to say, YES why did they not leave, you would not understand till you are that situation. You have to fight back - which many women in India are not taught. They are taught to please their husbands and give in to his whims and fancies. You might be from the younger generation that's more open and free - many Indian women are not. They cannot think of losing their husband, giving up their so-called perfect lives - because of the fear of what the 'society' would say. We are in INDIA - not AMERICA - where you can run away! Woman are not as mentally strong until they have had enough. When they do - they leave and they fight. That's what Nandini did - too late - but she did.

@Bold: THAT's the writing of the show my dear. The writing is BAD - not what the character has gone through. Just because the writing is bad - you cannot say that she was not raped and is not a victim. The writing is SO poor that you cannot sympathize with Nandini, I understand that. She jumped fast into someone else's bed and that is WRONG and NOT POSSIBLE for a rape victim - but that is poor writing and the hurried storyline. And I don't support her EMA - but she is a rape victim. PERIOD.

I don't even know why I am bothering given you clearly don't understand 'rape'. And may I add, stop now, because you sound ignorant and almost are demeaning every rape victim out there...LITERALLY.

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VARUNI2014

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Posted: 7 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: AnnaSloan

@Red: Well, I did say that - and I don't care if you think I am telling the truth or not because I am not awaiting your validation. I am not stupid to come on an open platform and lie. I don't know how old are you, but clearly, you don't understand the term marital rape at all.

And while its easy to say, YES why did they not leave, you would not understand till you are that situation. You have to fight back - which many women in India are not taught. They are taught to please their husbands and give in to his whims and fancies. You might be from the younger generation that's more open and free - many Indian women are not. They cannot think of losing their husband, giving up their so-called perfect lives - because of the fear of what the 'society' would say. We are in INDIA - not AMERICA - where you can run away! Woman are not as mentally strong until they have had enough. When they do - they leave and they fight. That's what Nandini did - too late - but she did.

@Bold: THAT's the writing of the show my dear. The writing is BAD - not what the character has gone through. Just because the writing is bad - you cannot say that she was not raped and is not a victim. The writing is SO poor that you cannot sympathize with Nandini, I understand that. She jumped fast into someone else's bed and that is WRONG and NOT POSSIBLE for a rape victim - but that is poor writing and the hurried storyline. And I don't support her EMA - but she is a rape victim. PERIOD.

I don't even know why I am bothering given you clearly don't understand 'rape'. And may I add, stop now, because you sound ignorant and almost are demeaning every rape victim out there...LITERALLY.

I am not demeaning ..I already told I will change my view ..after u posted this post again ..I changed my view reg marital rape ..So sorry if I hurt u r feelings bcos I know any opinion u form without real experience is not great then real time trauma people experience and we should respect them and change our views

Edited by VARUNI2014 - 7 years ago

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naq5

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Posted: 7 years ago

#45

please lets not compare general rape to martial rape (the type which nandani went through.)

firstly i never saw nandani tying to run away or trying to get away

with martial rape most of the times(though sometimes the woman is locked up not allowed to get away) people have a choice of getting free leaving everything and saving themselves, non-martial rape victim dosent have that chance. it is more brutal and devastating to be not to be able to do anything to save yourself because you are physically tied down. Martial rape is also not the type of a brothel case where girls are bought forcibly and kept locked up and forced to have sex everyday. No one forces anyone to stay in a marriage. You want you can always try to get help. the effort of trying is what i dint see in nandani

I am sure nandani must have also had sex with rajdeep initially when she felt like having it. And then he has also forced her when she was not in the mood or unwilling which was martial rape for her. But why would she want to have a child with him then if she was being raped everyday. so somewhere she was ready to compromise with him. A general rape victim will never compromise if she has a chance to run away. And remember makhija when he tried to rape & molest her she hit him on the head and ran away. So she did have it in her to run away but she choose not to with rajdeep.

i am not saying it was not martial rape but a general rape cannot be compared to what nandani went through

the difference you will see in nandani itself. how she protested makhija and was so scared and traumatized that she gathered courage and hit him and ran away. while with rajdeep forcing her she wasnt so much traumatized to hit him and run away. if she can hit one she can hit the other too right firstly i dont think she believed that what rajdeep was doing to her as martial rape, so she just gave in to his demands

Remember her saying AAj mera mann nahi hai. So it was not an everyday case that she had forced sex. that is the issue with staying for long in a marriage where martial rape is happening. Someone said how difficult it is to live with your own rapist. But these women like nandani most times dont see their husbands as rapists. they see it as one off incidents where their husband wanted it they dint want it and they gave in to the husbands demands because they are taught that that is what good wifes do

And why are we generalizing here . this topic is about nandani so please discuss regarding her situation. Other martial rape victims must be facing different situations we dont know of so its no use generalizing

Edited by naq5 - 7 years ago

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naq5

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Posted: 7 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: AnnaSloan

@Red: Well, I did say that - and I don't care if you think I am telling the truth or not because I am not awaiting your validation. I am not stupid to come on an open platform and lie. I don't know how old are you, but clearly, you don't understand the term marital rape at all.

And while its easy to say, YES why did they not leave, you would not understand till you are that situation. You have to fight back - which many women in India are not taught. They are taught to please their husbands and give in to his whims and fancies. You might be from the younger generation that's more open and free - many Indian women are not. They cannot think of losing their husband, giving up their so-called perfect lives - because of the fear of what the 'society' would say. We are in INDIA - not AMERICA - where you can run away! Woman are not as mentally strong until they have had enough. When they do - they leave and they fight. That's what Nandini did - too late - but she did.

@Bold: THAT's the writing of the show my dear. The writing is BAD - not what the character has gone through. Just because the writing is bad - you cannot say that she was not raped and is not a victim. The writing is SO poor that you cannot sympathize with Nandini, I understand that. She jumped fast into someone else's bed and that is WRONG and NOT POSSIBLE for a rape victim - but that is poor writing and the hurried storyline. And I don't support her EMA - but she is a rape victim. PERIOD.

I don't even know why I am bothering given you clearly don't understand 'rape'. And may I add, stop now, because you sound ignorant and almost are demeaning every rape victim out there...LITERALLY.

@ bold so the women you are taking about basically they are compromising right? Making a known choice. Choosing something over the other in their senses. which will cause them pain but they are ready to take that pain. How many general rape victims have that choice to make. None.

though i wish that martial rape should be made a crime in india. husband will be careful not to force sex on wifes and term it as love and not use them as property

Edited by naq5 - 7 years ago

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AnnaSloan

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Posted: 7 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: naq5

@ bold so the women you are taking about basically they are compromising right? Making a known choice. Choosing something over the other in their senses. which will cause them pain but they are ready to take that pain. How many general rape victims have that choice to make. None.

though i wish that martial rape should be made a crime in india. husband will be careful not to force sex on wifes and term it as love and not use them as property

Because that's what woman in India have been taught for generations. To compromise. Why do you think many rapes go unreported? What would they do? Do you have any idea how people look at a divorced woman in India? If a woman does not compromise and leaves her husband - she is called 'chodi hui aurat' and that is the sad reality of India. They are ready to take that pain because alas in our country marital rape is not criminalised. If they leave - they are not even in a position to go and report that their husband has raped them - because - why the society believes that this is the husband's right and she is the man's property. So she does not stay because of 'choice' but because she knows that the society will eat her alive with their taunts and they're holier than thou attitude. Many marital rape victims commit suicide because they have nowhere to go or they are the walking dead. Their parents won't accept them back, their in-laws will always support their son and they are MOSTLY not independent (just like Nandini) enough to fight anyone. In this situation they cannot either leave nor can they fight - THAT does not mean they enjoy the rape or are in a better situation than any other rape victim.

And I am sorry to say, but the comparison between marital rape and general rape is not the question here. Rape is rape. It is forced sexual intercourse. It could mean even if the wife is in a happy relationship with her husband but refuses to do it because she does not feel like it - the husband should respect her choice and not force himself on her - A NO is a NO. If your question is only about leaving the spouse - that can very well happen with a 'general' rape victim too - why not just be careful and fight back? Why step out at odd hours to odd locations? It's easier to always tell the girl what to do, but difficult to understand what she goes through a forceful experience.

Again - this is NOT in support of Nandini's actions. She is BAD writing and I am absolutely disgusted at the writers for portraying something as sensitive as 'marital rape' SO lightly and so immaturely.

Edited by AnnaSloan - 7 years ago

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Author Sneha

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Posted: 7 years ago

#48

I don't like Nandini coz She betrayed her best friend Mauli by getting into a relationship with Kunal. But Nandini is a Victim of Marital Rape. The only thing that differentiates Sex from Rape is Consent. I am a feminist working for equality and women rights .

Please support my iniative to Recognize Marital Rape as a crime in India

http://feminism2.home.blog/2018/09/21/need-for-criminalising-marital-rape/

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@pamk06

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Posted: 7 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: naq5

@Red: Well, I did say that - and I don't care if you think I am telling the truth or not because I am not awaiting your validation. I am not stupid to come on an open platform and lie. I don't know how old are you, but clearly, you don't understand the term marital rape at all.

And while its easy to say, YES why did they not leave, you would not understand till you are that situation. You have to fight back - which many women in India are not taught. They are taught to please their husbands and give in to his whims and fancies. You might be from the younger generation that's more open and free - many Indian women are not. They cannot think of losing their husband, giving up their so-called perfect lives - because of the fear of what the 'society' would say. We are in INDIA - not AMERICA - where you can run away! Woman are not as mentally stronguntilthey have had enough. When they do - they leave and they fight. That's what Nandini did - too late - but she did.

@Bold:THAT's the writing of the show my dear. The writing is BAD - not what the character has gone through. Just because the writing is bad - you cannot say that she was not raped and is not a victim. The writing is SO poor that you cannot sympathize with Nandini, I understand that. She jumped fast into someone else's bed and that is WRONG and NOT POSSIBLE for a rape victim - but that is poor writing and the hurried storyline. And I don't support her EMA - but she is a rape victim. PERIOD.

I don't even know why I am bothering given you clearly don't understand 'rape'. And may I add, stop now, because you sound ignorant and almost are demeaning every rape victim out there...LITERALLY.

@ bold so the women you are taking about basically they are compromising right? Making a known choice. Choosing something over the other in their senses. which will cause them pain but they are ready to take that pain. How many general rape victims have that choice to make. None.

though i wish that martial rape should be made a crime in india. husband will be careful not to force sex on wifes and term it as love and not use them as property

Do you really think that people who are abused and rape have a choice? That she was with Rajdeep because it was a choice and she choose to get pregnant. Please do not make assumptions on a topic that you no knowledge about. Some abuse women do not even have a choice on what to eat, what to wear, what to talk etc like Nandini. If you see the initial episodes, you will see that he dictated even that and you think that she had a choice on whether she got preganant or no? Please read on this things before commenting and generalizing because frankly you cannot. Every victim is different, and every victim struggle is different, every victim's recovery is different.

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Alohomora_

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Posted: 7 years ago

#50

Wow what a sick mindset! Just because it isn't considered a crime in India doesn't mean marital rape is not rape or is OKAY! What kind of thinking is this? I fail to understand why so much of rape apologism is going on here for the past many days with people praising Rajdeep as some misguided lover and defending marital rape! So much anger over a fictional show and characters? Do you yourself feel this kind of thinking is healthy? This is actually worrisome to me if just for a show rape is going to be defended just to put Nandini down! That's unacceptable on every level

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Nandhini is not rape victim - Page 5

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