Understanding Nandini - Page 9

Originally posted by: Angels11

And to all those who r maintaining that they understand Nandini & understand her pain, I ve still not got a single rational explanation of her behavior towards Mauli. Ppl r gng on & on about mental illness, trauma, abuse etc but nothing & absolutely nothing that they ve said explains in anyway why 1. She chose 2 betray Mauli 2. And chalo even if she has wat ever reasons 2 betray, how is she so casual with Mauli & has no guilt or remorse.

I ve still not heard a single point or explanation about this from any of our forum psychology experts!

Originally posted by: Twenty1st

I understand we have a difference in opinion but i have not called you the above words, nor would i like to so please don't assume i have associated any such connotation. Although i believe in the past i have questioned the sensitiveness of the topic where Nandini was called out for being weak.

As for the above point, where Mauli was molested (though for me, it wasn't a molestation rather fingered/touched, i suppose that comes from the difference of countries). Yes Mauli told Nandini who was immediately ambushed by Rajdeep, leaving both Mauli and Nandini confused and at loss of words. Yes if i remember correctly Mauli did try to speak but again Rajdeep cut in saying how as a soon-to-wife she should trust him and all. So I believe Nandini hadn't chosen Rajdeep over Mauli, rather was silenced into choosing him and Mauli herself admits she didn't put up a forceful fight into delivering her message of Rajdeep being a bad guy. Then the question would arise, why should Mauli assert such stuff such as female intuition or hadn't Nandini turned away once she realised and called Mauli? The first episodes in itself suggest Nandini's guilt over that decision.

However since I don't know whether it was arranged or love, I can't really comment on the whys other than the one I explained above. So my answer would be both Nandini and mauli were too innocent and nave to Rajdeeps wickedness, while Mauli left in hurt; Nandini was stuck with the expectation and the norm. Afterall IT IS expected to put-up with such life-partners in most parts of the world.

I hope i have been able to deliver Nandini's side of the argument in this scenario, however if not then i enjoyed nevertheless.

Originally posted by: Angels11

And to all those who r maintaining that they understand Nandini & understand her pain, I ve still not got a single rational explanation of her behavior towards Mauli. Ppl r gng on & on about mental illness, trauma, abuse etc but nothing & absolutely nothing that they ve said explains in anyway why 1. She chose 2 betray Mauli 2. And chalo even if she has wat ever reasons 2 betray, how is she so casual with Mauli & has no guilt or remorse.

I ve still not heard a single point or explanation about this from any of our forum psychology experts!

Originally posted by: Angels11

This is precisely the problem I have with the posts made by nandini's supporters. Why do you guys always brush off the effect of nandini's actions on mauli. When a pervert grabbed me in bus, I was so shocked I cried for 1 week. Every night my sister would sit beside me, rub my head and hands. Sometimes she will silently do this, sometimes murmur something reassuring. I refused to board any bus and for 2 days she used to accompany me jn the bus because I was scared. At that time I was 16 and my sister 20 same age group as nandini and mauli. Now compare this with what happened to mauli. She tells this guy touched her and according to you nandini was too innocent and naive. Like seriously. It was definitely an arranged alliance. If it was love marriage mauli would know her friend's lover. So nandini chose to believe a guy whom she hardly knew over a friend of so many years. It's not like the next minute nandini and Raj left the city. Did nandini try to go to mauli's house and at least talk to her. Why should mauli try to talk. She was the one who was unfairly accused. The fact is from the beginning the friendship was skewed. Mauli was more invested than nandini. And I still don't get how she is behaving normally with mauli. Even that douchebag Kunal is cool and uncomfortable with her. Hell even that monster rajdeep is scared of mauli. And this lady coolly says hum tumhe Des pahunchana nahin chahte 🥱

Originally posted by: arshi_asya

A terrorist is a terrorist. No doubt. But still there are numerous attempts to understand the psyche even when they are going to be sentenced to death. Same goes with murder and other things as well. They aren't even guilty of what they have done most of the times. Norman Bates killed his own mother without even guilt. He was sexually attracted to her mother. Ed Gein, the real person on whom Bates is based was a huge psycho but so many attempts have been made to analyze him and none of the analysis say that he was a great person or sympathized with for the horrible things he did.

No one is saying that Nandini isn't guilty. She is but is it wrong to understand the underlying psyche of a person to try to reach an explanation.

That explanation isn't going to whitewash her wrong doings but will give a picture into certain things.

Some people are just trying to read between the lines. They are not attempting to support Nandini. Trying to Understand someone isn't equal to support.

Even Maya was psychoanalyzed but was she supported-NO. I used to do that to my friend but I wasn't supporting her wrong actions.

So, why bring that up again? Some people like to psychoanalyze people and their actions, is that bad? Why point the analysis?

And yes, some twisted psychological case may lead to what Nandini is doing Without guilt. Most of us would simply discard that as abnormal or insensitive.

But since makers are not going to go that route doesn't mean some people might not come up with such a discussion based on their experience.

Originally posted by: Angels11

This is precisely the problem I have with the posts made by nandini's supporters. Why do you guys always brush off the effect of nandini's actions on mauli. When a pervert grabbed me in bus, I was so shocked I cried for 1 week. Every night my sister would sit beside me, rub my head and hands. Sometimes she will silently do this, sometimes murmur something reassuring. I refused to board any bus and for 2 days she used to accompany me jn the bus because I was scared. At that time I was 16 and my sister 20 same age group as nandini and mauli. Now compare this with what happened to mauli. She tells this guy touched her and according to you nandini was too innocent and naive. Like seriously. It was definitely an arranged alliance. If it was love marriage mauli would know her friend's lover. So nandini chose to believe a guy whom she hardly knew over a friend of so many years. It's not like the next minute nandini and Raj left the city. Did nandini try to go to mauli's house and at least talk to her. Why should mauli try to talk. She was the one who was unfairly accused. The fact is from the beginning the friendship was skewed. Mauli was more invested than nandini. And I still don't get how she is behaving normally with mauli. Even that douchebag Kunal is cool and uncomfortable with her. Hell even that monster rajdeep is scared of mauli. And this lady coolly says hum tumhe Des pahunchana nahin chahte 🥱

Wait sorry if it came across as an attack on Mauli or brushing off Nandini's incapability to judge characters onto Muali, Because like i said neither Mauli or Nandini were prepared for such a character in their life. While Mauli is a no-nonsense type of character, Nandini is more acceptable to the different ranges i suppose due to the misfits in the past maybe or her error in judgement (looking at her current act, I can for sure state that she can't judge right from wrong). However where the past is concerned I still stick by my word, that Nandini didn't verbally choose Rajdeep though he persuaded her to stay physically while Mauli walked away in hurt. But i will watch that scene again tonight, if i can find it online maybe.

I am extremely sorry to hear about your incidence, and can only sympathise I told a friend to f**k off once under extreme stress over exams etc. and she stopped talking although I apologised and all, but it strained our relationship, from BFF we are now friends only. So though Nandini should have sought out Mauli but i suppose somewhere like my friendship, Nandini's and mauli was also strained. we can't say Mauli invested more time, yes she was more of a friend, the best of friends after the miscarriage but sorry if my memory serves me wrong, but wasn't it Nandini who pushed Mauli to study and encouraged her aspiration of being a doctor. So they both were good friends at one time, while Mauli still is but the same can't be said for Nandini.

Anyway where was I, so yeah I don't believe that Nandini didn't believe Mauli over Rajdeep although it seemed like she chose him over her. So for me Nandini wasn't wrong, although extremely foolish then to stay with Rajdeep. Well I tried to explain her character, whether it makes sense or not that's up to you? For me both the woman made sense, hence we can't really put any into a bottle of right and wrong (in the past). However currently, Nandini is wrong.

Originally posted by: arshi_asya

@Twenty1st

Mauli actually was molested. Touching someone inappropriately intentionally against their comfort without consent is a molestation or sexual harassment.

Rajdeep intionally touched her that way and that qualifies as molestation.

Nandini didn't believe her on this which she should have if she was rational and sensible enough to understand the gravity of it. There was a lot of communication gap and insensitivity in that particular incident. Nandini didn't believe her and Mauli gave a choice to choose rather than make sure that pervert's truth was out in open in front of everyone including Nandini.

Originally posted by: Angels11

Please read the replies carefully. Nandini IS being justified. For eg wen i asked 1 of the poster y Nandini chose 2 believe Rajdeep a virtual stranger over her best friend from childhood Mauli the answer I got was Nandini was naive & innocent. Really? If tis is not justification what is? Again this is the reason y every single post trying 2 sympathize with Nandini rings hollow.

Every damn action is justified.

Why did Nandini believe Rajdeep & not Mauli - Nandini was innocent

Why did Nandini accept Kunal's proposal - Nandini is traumatized & has PTSD

Why did Nandini sleep with Kunal - Nandini was abused

Why is Nandini so casual with Kunal - Because Nandini is Nandini...

So no these posts are not analyzing Nandini. They are JUSTIFYING her actions. Just adding 1 disclaimer at the end that Yeah Nandini is ALSO wrong is not being balanced & impartial. Above 1 of the poster simply brushes off Rajdeep molesting Mauli as he just fingered her. If the roles r reversed & I made such a casual stmt bt Nandini ppl ll b baying for my blood, hitting the REPORT button, called a low life & MODs will shut down my thread. Its this double standards which frustrates me!

Originally posted by: Twenty1st

Hey, i agree to the definition of molestation, but i suppose i've read and seen the more extreme cases hence molestation up here would be more severe cases. From what i remember he held onto her hand while she reachedd for a book. However before my words are misinterpreted, i'd like to state RAJDEEP WAS WRONG AND MAULI WAS RIGHT IN SLAPPING HIM, a man should not touch a woman without her consent.

Honestly i don't recall a verbal confirmation on the matter, though i do remember the confused eyes and Rajdeeps sayings maybe i hadnt seen that scene. Byt yes, the most practical thing to do was to ask Mauli in front of Rajdeep (but knowing nandini that wouldn't have happened so the elast she should have done was to ask her afterwards) but i suppose like you said miscommunication and other factors must have keyed in, resulting to today where Mauli is still emotionally connected to Nandini while the latter probably isn't (not as much as her anyway)

Originally posted by: Twenty1st

Hey, i agree to the definition of molestation, but i suppose i've read and seen the more extreme cases hence molestation up here would be more severe cases. From what i remember he held onto her hand while she reachedd for a book. However before my words are misinterpreted, i'd like to state RAJDEEP WAS WRONG AND MAULI WAS RIGHT IN SLAPPING HIM, a man should not touch a woman without her consent.

Honestly i don't recall a verbal confirmation on the matter, though i do remember the confused eyes and Rajdeeps sayings maybe i hadnt seen that scene. Byt yes, the most practical thing to do was to ask Mauli in front of Rajdeep (but knowing nandini that wouldn't have happened so the elast she should have done was to ask her afterwards) but i suppose like you said miscommunication and other factors must have keyed in, resulting to today where Mauli is still emotionally connected to Nandini while the latter probably isn't (not as much as her anyway)