Understanding Nandini

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Angels11

@Angels11

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#91

Originally posted by: Twenty1st

Wait sorry if it came across as an attack on Mauli or brushing off Nandini's incapability to judge characters onto Muali, Because like i said neither Mauli or Nandini were prepared for such a character in their life. While Mauli is a no-nonsense type of character, Nandini is more acceptable to the different ranges i suppose due to the misfits in the past maybe or her error in judgement (looking at her current act, I can for sure state that she can't judge right from wrong). However where the past is concerned I still stick by my word, that Nandini didn't verbally choose Rajdeep though he persuaded her to stay physically while Mauli walked away in hurt. But i will watch that scene again tonight, if i can find it online maybe.

I am extremely sorry to hear about your incidence, and can only sympathise I told a friend to f**k off once under extreme stress over exams etc. and she stopped talking although I apologised and all, but it strained our relationship, from BFF we are now friends only. So though Nandini should have sought out Mauli but i suppose somewhere like my friendship, Nandini's and mauli was also strained. we can't say Mauli invested more time, yes she was more of a friend, the best of friends after the miscarriage but sorry if my memory serves me wrong, but wasn't it Nandini who pushed Mauli to study and encouraged her aspiration of being a doctor. So they both were good friends at one time, while Mauli still is but the same can't be said for Nandini.

Anyway where was I, so yeah I don't believe that Nandini didn't believe Mauli over Rajdeep although it seemed like she chose him over her. So for me Nandini wasn't wrong, although extremely foolish then to stay with Rajdeep. Well I tried to explain her character, whether it makes sense or not that's up to you? For me both the woman made sense, hence we can't really put any into a bottle of right and wrong (in the past). However currently, Nandini is wrong.

Wait sorry if it came across as an attack on Mauli or brushing off Nandini's incapability to judge characters onto Muali, Because like i said neither Mauli or Nandini were prepared for such a character in their life. While Mauli is a no-nonsense type of character, Nandini is more acceptable to the different ranges i suppose due to the misfits in the past maybe or her error in judgement (looking at her current act, I can for sure state that she can't judge right from wrong). However where the past is concerned I still stick by my word, that Nandini didn't verbally choose Rajdeep though he persuaded her to stay physically while Mauli walked away in hurt. But i will watch that scene again tonight, if i can find it online maybe.

I am extremely sorry to hear about your incidence, and can only sympathise I told a friend to f**k off once under extreme stress over exams etc. and she stopped talking although I apologised and all, but it strained our relationship, from BFF we are now friends only. So though Nandini should have sought out Mauli but i suppose somewhere like my friendship, Nandini's and mauli was also strained. we can't say Mauli invested more time, yes she was more of a friend, the best of friends after the miscarriage but sorry if my memory serves me wrong, but wasn't it Nandini who pushed Mauli to study and encouraged her aspiration of being a doctor. So they both were good friends at one time, while Mauli still is but the same can't be said for Nandini.

Anyway where was I, so yeah I don't believe that Nandini didn't believe Mauli over Rajdeep although it seemed like she chose him over her. So for me Nandini wasn't wrong, although extremely foolish then to stay with Rajdeep. Well I tried to explain her character, whether it makes sense or not that's up to you? For me both the woman made sense, hence we can't really put any into a bottle of right and wrong (in the past). However currently, Nandini is wrong.

Gosh we are fighting & arguing over a fictional character I think v all need therapy as well. Anyway I dont want 2 seem 2 b arguing or fighting with real ppl & offending them over the actions of a fictional character. My hubby is seriously annoyed tat I spend so much time debating over a silly show & the characters. He officially hates ASR & Barun Sobti. So I guess we just need 2 shake hands & agree to disagree. I am never gng 2 like Nandini so be it.

On a totally unrelated point, I ve never understood y in indian shows women cry buckets. In my immediate circle of family, friends, cousins, relatives, colleagues I ve never seen women cry this much. All the women I know even those who might not b highly educated or not working dont cry every time. In fact wen i fight with my hubby & cry even a little my hubby ll start yelling at me ki stop being melodramatic as if i am torturing u. If i cry 2 my sister she ll b stop behaving like a child & grow up, behave like an adult. My mom the ever suffering martyr Indian mother will be like stop whining & learn 2 handle ur problems. All my friends also r v cheerful, strong women. So only in these serials I c women cry cry & cry endlessly.

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music_l0ver036

@music_l0ver036

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 7 years ago

#92

Originally posted by: Angels11

Hey you are misunderstanding and misquoting me. Marital rape is a horrible reality. I think only 10-15 years back the supreme Court passed a landmark judgement that even marital rape is rape and carries the same punishment as any rape. The cvs have already shown several times where that pervert rajdeep used to rape her 🤢 many wives like nandini don't realize it is rape and think as a wife they have to put up with it. It's not like they want it or like it. They don't even realize it constitutes as rape because it's the husband. Where in my post have I blamed nandini for getting raped and claimed that it's her fault. Though I hate nandini i have repeatedly said rajdeep should be thrown in jail and no woman deserves the kind of abuse nandini went through. I still maintain that nandini needs therapy asap. And no nandini did not encourage rajdeep. All I said was like many other wives she put up with it not even realizing that a wife has every right to say no and what that monster was doing was rape 🤢

in the bolded section, you wrote that Nandani used to allow Rajdeep to rape her. You need to choose your words better because that looks like you're definitely blaming Nandani. I get you meant that Nandani was compliant but that's not how your wording comes across.

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#93

Originally posted by: Angels11

Gosh we are fighting & arguing over a fictional character I think v all need therapy as well. Anyway I dont want 2 seem 2 b arguing or fighting with real ppl & offending them over the actions of a fictional character. My hubby is seriously annoyed tat I spend so much time debating over a silly show & the characters. He officially hates ASR & Barun Sobti. So I guess we just need 2 shake hands & agree to disagree. I am never gng 2 like Nandini so be it.

On a totally unrelated point, I ve never understood y in indian shows women cry buckets. In my immediate circle of family, friends, cousins, relatives, colleagues I ve never seen women cry this much. All the women I know even those who might not b highly educated or not working dont cry every time. In fact wen i fight with my hubby & cry even a little my hubby ll start yelling at me ki stop being melodramatic as if i am torturing u. If i cry 2 my sister she ll b stop behaving like a child & grow up, behave like an adult. My mom the ever suffering martyr Indian mother will be like stop whining & learn 2 handle ur problems. All my friends also r v cheerful, strong women. So only in these serials I c women cry cry & cry endlessly.

I guess he officially hates ASR for his role or maybe because you are his avid fan as Per the DP. 😆

Even, I have tried to figure out the crying but that ain't going anywhere since these ladies are always damsel in distress.

My sister cries a lot and even after tons of scolding, she hasn't got much better.

But I think crying isn't a sign of weakness always. Just my opinion. There are so many times I want to cry but I can't because stupid tears won't come out and once the crying is done which is very rare, I feel less burdened for some reasons.

May be a twisted psyche with me.

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#94

Originally posted by: _charu_

He held her hand or touched her waist ?

He touched her skin exposed waist and said some pervert things to her as well how she is his half-gharwali in a harassing tone. And why is she being touch me not when women like her like her do this intentionally to grab men's attention. And since she is modern and educated, this shouldn't be a problem to her.

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Angels11

@Angels11

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#95

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036
in the bolded section, you wrote that Nandani used to allow Rajdeep to rape her. You need to choose your words better because that looks like you're definitely blaming Nandani. I get you meant that Nandani was compliant but that's not how your wording comes across.

Point taken, I ve rephrased it in my original post!

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@pamk06

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 7 years ago

#96

Originally posted by: Angels11

I will accept wat u say since neither ve I faced abused nor known any1 who has faced tis. I think 1 of the main reason prob y i am unable 2 connect with Nandini. Even bef the EMA stuff I was unable 2 digest the stuff she put up with. Why did she simply not leave. But then many in the forum replied tat aft prolonged abuse the victim has no self esteem & thinks in some twisted way she actually deserves it. Again I still cant wrap my mind around such thinking & prob I s'd thank god tat I ve been blessed with a happy life. Yes I did ve issues with my in laws & my hubby was the typical indian male who never stands up for his wife. But these r trivial issues which every woman goes thru. Surprisingly even friends who had a love marriage went thru this & I always thought they would get better support frm their husbands. Initial days everytime my MIL taunted me & I fought with my hubby I used 2 call my sister & cry. She ll b like Stop being a sissy. These r simple probs, many women face much worse. Yours is just a nagging MIL. Deal with it. You r no longer a child. You r an educated, working woman who is expected 2 handle conflict both in office & at home in a mature manner.

I am more curious bt Nandini's family. Why did she tolerate Rajdeep so long. He has repeatedly raped her in the past. Did she ever talk 2 her parents. Why did she never try 2 find Mauli. This character is so mysterious. Wish the CVs showed her back story so that we can understand her better. I want 2 hear Nandini's inner monologue. What made her decide 2 ve an affair with Kunal. How does she feel bt Mauli. Why is she not feeling guilt. But CVs dont show tis & instead show some juvenile flirting bet K & N. I want 2 c more depth 2 this character than just being portrayed as THE OTHER WOMAN!

@bold : You just described my situation and I had a love marriage so I guess its a story in most households. Anyways, I made my peace with that and have learnt to deal with it Everyone says, that "Ladke biwi ke ho jaate he" but have yet to see a man who is not a "mamma's boy". Anyways I digress.

For Nandini, I think it would be her upbringing. From what they have told us, her father might have been similar to Rajdeep, not an abuser but may be a person who thinks that women are not equal to Men and need to be controlled. Her mother's teachings were also on the similar lines that "Pati is Parmesvar" and you should bear everything he dishes out because he is your husband. Initially, even though she must have gone to her parents, I do not think she would have got any support from them. Infact they might have told her accept it as her fate and move on. The only other person who could have given her different perspective was Mauli, but they had a fallout and thus,over the course of time, she must have just accepted it.

I do not remember the initial episode but I think, she did initially try to contact, but Mauli's family had immediately left for Mumbai with no contact left behind, but I might be totally wrong. Later Rajdeep did not allow her to keep any connection with anyone. Some Abuser are that way.

I do believe that Nandini hesitation in believing Mauli did hurt Mauli a lot from which she never recovered and that might be the reason Mauli's mom hates Nandini as she must have seen her daughter devastation.

Her affair with Kunal --- I believe that if it would have left on Nandini, she would not have taken any steps to steal Kunal from Mauli but when Kunal confessed his love, it might have been the realization of all her dreams that she must have had since her very young age. See, Mauli always wanted to be a doctor and Nandini, a homemaker and she must have had lots of dreams around it. Over the course of time she must have suppressed all her dreams and must have accepted Rajdeep as her fate because that what she had been told to accept and based on the men in her family, she did believe that was normal, in her own words. Her breaking point was the miscarriage, which gave her strength to separate from Rajdeep and break free from the mother's teachings which were her real shackles.

Later, she saw how Kunal is, his attitude toward his wife and women in general which was big surprise for her. Not going in here on why she fell in love, but I guess when he confessed, that girl in her could not refuse even though the friend in her had taken the decision to go away. For her, that moment must have been almost similar to a girl who dreams and wishes for a prince but knows he will never be hers. She accepts it but suddenly when the prince came and declares all his love,I guess it must have been an overwhelming moment where you go with what you want rather than what you think is right. I guess after that, with every action of Kunal, her ability to differentiate the right vs wrong diminished because she just wants to keep experiencing and devour, how its feels to be loved and the happiness that comes with it. I am sure, subconsciously she knows that its wrong, but now that she experienced it, she just does not want to give it up. Add to that, her life currently is completely opposite to what it was with Rajdeep and thus she has blocked out all the rational thoughts because love does give a heady feeling that way. Infact, the physical intimacy act must have very well be first time she must have felt the love and care that comes with that union and may be the reason for her happiness. Justifiable? No Selfish? Definitely. Wrong? Absolutely. But...

The missing guilt - So, right now, she is in her own dreamworld, where all her dreams have come true which she never thought will happen. She has the love of a man who she had only dreamed about. She, herself said during Janamastami and Ganpati festival, that having Kunal in her life is more than enough and she does not want anything more. So in her mind, she is not taking anything from Mauli. As long as she gets the tid-bits of his attention she is fine with it ((for most of us its not but may be because of her past, even a small thing might be huge),)because again in her mind (its not right though) that by wishing more, she is breaking her friend's home. The guilt will come when she see the actual impact on Mauli and Kunal relationship. At that point, what decision she takes would be true test of her character, her love and her friendship. (I still have hope in her character)

PS: These are just my impressions from what I see because CV's have not given us those monologues to actually understand what is going on in her mind and I might be totally off the rocker here.

Edited by pamk06 - 7 years ago