Love marriages break too!!!! - Page 2

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arshi_asya thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#11

As I already said, makers have rushed into the whole affair thing. There is no reason or explanation to cheating. There are couples who hardly spend time with each other or are in a long distance relationship for years & still don't cheat. So to say that this is a reason for cheating is absurd & makers will never be able to explain the same either.
Relationships deserve honesty. And I hope before Kunal-Nandini actually begins, Kunal is upfront with Mauli about this. Of course it will be painful but Mauli deserves to know the truth & has the right to have dignified exit from this marriage. I can already play that Kunal-Mauli convo in my head whenever it happens.

How do you know that your partner isn't cheating you in thoughts from a very particular moment unless you are very attentive of your partner's behavior.
Mauli is right when she said that there is no point in sticking to such relationships.

Only if failed marriages made the whole judgement, infidel people would have never been able to marry another person in their life but I don't see that as the case.

Kunal will be called on for what he is doing, his family will do it, Mauli will do it, her parent will do it but that's not the point of the show. Show is about how things proceed in such cases. Brad Pitt couldn't be with Aniston for 4 years but with Jolie he spent the whole 10+ years, had kids with her, stood by her in the harshest of times & now they are divorced again. Ideally that should have not happened considering their perfect marriage. He was called names when he cheated on Aniston, everyone tried to figure out the reason, he and Jolie were accepted as well.
Now, Aniston is divorced again without any 3rd angle and they were perfect for all these years, dating & marrying. As Aniston on her recent divorce said, sometimes, you just can't figure out why something is happening, It is happening & one has to deal with that & move on.

So many first marriages have failed but second one are going mighty fine. Amir Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Sanjay Dutt are example. Even Mr. Amitabh Bachchan was once in EMA with Rekha ji but he chose to stay with his wife & rest is the history. Bonnie Kapoor's-Sridevi example is known to almost everyone. Sridevi was his first wife's best friend & still it happened, affecting every relation until her untimely death.
silver_lotus thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#12
Nice post. You raised valid points. But I have a doubt(it is really a doubt and didn't want to question or wrong you view)
Is true love really overrated?
Do mothers fall out of love with their children ever? why does it only happen in romantic relations. A love between a mother and child is pure, selfless and that between partners is different though it is also pure but still when you marry you are committed for life that is what marriage vows are.
You are right that this is happening all around us in the world. Why do loving partners fall out of love with no strong reasons that actually shouldn't be magnified. Do they get bored after sometime. Issues arise in every relation even between friends so there will be problems when two different people live under the same roof. Is this not the beauty of marriage.
My problem with this show is they are showing Kunal falling for Nandini just by seeing her outer beauty without real problems in his marriage. This is coming out as cheating. The execution is bad as you said.
But I can't agree that it can happen without a reason. There must be some real reasons if the stars you mentioned broke their first marriage if not they come out as cheaters.
The questions I asked above are truely what my mind is trying to decipher. I have seen many( not few) ema's in my work place hence I see this fictional show as more close to the actual truth.


arshi_asya thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: ..silverlotus..

Nice post. You raised valid points. But I have a doubt(it is really a doubt and didn't want to question or wrong you view)
Is true love really overrated?
Do mothers fall out of love with their children ever? why does it only happen in romantic relations. A love between a mother and child is pure, selfless and that between partners is different though it is also pure but still when you marry you are committed for life that is what marriage vows are.
You are right that this is happening all around us in the world. Why do loving partners fall out of love with no strong reasons that actually shouldn't be magnified. Do they get bored after sometime. Issues arise in every relation even between friends so there will be problems when two different people live under the same roof. Is this not the beauty of marriage.
My problem with this show is they are showing Kunal falling for Nandini just by seeing her outer beauty without real problems in his marriage. This is coming out as cheating. The execution is bad as you said.
But I can't agree that it can happen without a reason. There must be some real reasons if the stars you mentioned broke their first marriage if not they come out as cheaters.
The questions I asked above are truely what my mind is trying to decipher. I have seen many( not few) ema's in my work place hence I see this fictional show as more close to the actual truth.



When it comes to romantic relations, then YES, true love is over-rated. History is full of examples of such stories where a particular couple has been magnified as true lovers but were they really true lovers. If they were, then why almost everyone of them continued to do multiple marriages. Because at the end of the day, world has to be ruled by head & not merely by heart.

Coming to love of parents & children- No child can love their parents more than their parents love them. Reason is with children they see future, hope, their own blood & hard work they do just to make sure they never fall or face any sadness in their life. Parents are pricked by sadness of their children all their lives while children might not feel the same after a certain age. Because children see their old parents as past that has no future or hope. Same adult might be disrespecting his/her own parents but will be in full sacrificial mode for their children.

Even I can't figure out any reason for Kunal to fall for Nandini just like he that. But I do know that romantic relationships lose their spark after sometime, it is made alive again by sex, children or anything that can bind them, give them hope for a future (but still that doesn't stop people from cheating is a different story altogether). Relationships are multi-dimensional thing. What is working for one might not work for the other one. There has to be communication where both parties are willing to listen, where communication doesn't feel like favor or burden. One problem with Kunal is that he is failing to communicate with Mauli, major reason for it is Mauli's hectic schedule which leaves him lesser time. Their relationship right now is working on Kunal being more understanding, rules & what not. But that's not how relations work right. And Kunal fails to communicate his real emotions with Mauli only because he feels that he has to understand her a lot which unconsciously is becoming a burden for him. This burden is what that is making him getting drawn towards Nandini who is conventional dedicated woman. He is falling for Nandini's caring nature in which he is the priority.

Mauli's priority list-
1. Work- of course because she likes it & also for Kunal's dreams but he doesn't know it and you can't expect people to understand your motives & intentions always.
2. Nandini- believe it or not but Mauli thinks about Nandini almost all the time, something I haven't seen so far in real life. She has to tag her along almost everywhere. It wouldn't hurt if Mauli for once can consider some quality time with her husband alone.
3. Family- Dida, Kunal's mom.
4. Kunal.

Kunal's priority list-
1. Mauli- He wants to spend a lot of time with her which he is not getting to.
2. Family
3. Work.

Nandini's priority list-
1. Mauli & her family on balanced note. She has nothing from her side till now.

Their lists are colliding with each other. While Mauli is Kunal's first priority, Kunal is last in Mauli's. And this list is getting modified with Nandini taking Mauli's place in Kunal's life.

Typically women are considered to be more demanding of company of their partners but here Kunal is the one who wants more company but isn't getting. But that still doesn't justify cheating. But the thing is that Kunal is cheating on Mauli with his thoughts, something which is pretty common in my opinion. And this might end up on him physically cheating on Mauli. In cultured society, cheating or adultery is condemned & Kunal will be condemned too very harshly for this by his own family members, friends & professionally of course. The maximum part of this show is going to focus on conflict of both Kunal & Nandini which is to think about Mauli Vs themselves. People cheat when they hope to get something they don't have from existing things. Some cheat for sex, children, money. But I think Kunal is cheating for attention/care that he feels he is not getting.

These are the minor differences that gradually become big enough to spoil whole relationship. These are like Deemak in wood that gradually end up destroying the whole wooden structure if not treated on time.

This show is conflicting in nature where final consequences can never be accepted or appreciated but it's important to understand why modern relationships are so vulnerable. It's because of the conventional expectations which seem large & are nor being fulfilled. Human nature hasn't changed much but everyone wants to free themselves from conventional things intrinsic to relationships. And this is what is doing the damage.

I am just trying to figure out Kunal's though process even though I am strictly against the concept of the show. Psychologies need to be understood to understand the root problem.
silver_lotus thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#14

Originally posted by: arshi_asya


When it comes to romantic relations, then YES, true love is over-rated. History is full of examples of such stories where a particular couple has been magnified as true lovers but were they really true lovers. If they were, then why almost everyone of them continued to do multiple marriages. Because at the end of the day, world has to be ruled by head & not merely by heart.

I think you are talking about famous kings and their love stories on whom movies and TV series are made. They are mostly fictional. Most of which are exaggerated. There are other true lives of not much popular people who were in true love. I don't really know. I doubt if there is no true love in real.


Coming to love of parents & children- No child can love their parents more than their parents love them. Reason is with children they see future, hope, their own blood & hard work they do just to make sure they never fall or face any sadness in their life. Parents are pricked by sadness of their children all their lives while children might not feel the same after a certain age. Because children see their old parents as past that has no future or hope. Same adult might be disrespecting his/her own parents but will be in full sacrificial mode for their children.

Agree. But I was talking about a mother's love to her child. If the child is disabled or mentally challenged from whom a mother doesn't see any future or no hope still her love is unconditional, (only in unexceptional cases does some parents leave such children too) so it happens all the same based on the person.

Even I can't figure out any reason for Kunal to fall for Nandini just like he that. But I do know that romantic relationships lose their spark after sometime, it is made alive again by sex, children or anything that can bind them, give them hope for a future (but still that doesn't stop people from cheating is a different story altogether). Relationships are multi-dimensional thing. What is working for one might not work for the other one. There has to be communication where both parties are willing to listen, where communication doesn't feel like favor or burden. One problem with Kunal is that he is failing to communicate with Mauli, major reason for it is Mauli's hectic schedule which leaves him lesser time. Their relationship right now is working on Kunal being more understanding, rules & what not. But that's not how relations work right. And Kunal fails to communicate his real emotions with Mauli only because he feels that he has to understand her a lot which unconsciously is becoming a burden for him. This burden is what that is making him getting drawn towards Nandini who is conventional dedicated woman. He is falling for Nandini's caring nature in which he is the priority.

So many of us couldn't hence all these arguments in this forum. Rest of it, yes agree these are the little problems in their marriage right now but still that doesn't mean he can fall for nandini in the snap of a finger

Mauli's priority list-
1. Work- of course because she likes it & also for Kunal's dreams but he doesn't know it and you can't expect people to understand your motives & intentions always.
2. Nandini- believe it or not but Mauli thinks about Nandini almost all the time, something I haven't seen so far in real life. She has to tag her along almost everywhere. It wouldn't hurt if Mauli for once can consider some quality time with her husband alone.
3. Family- Dida, Kunal's mom.
4. Kunal.

Kunal is in the top of your list already. As different people show their love differently this is how mouli shows her love.

Kunal's priority list-
1. Mauli- He wants to spend a lot of time with her which he is not getting to.
2. Family
3. Work.

Nandini's priority list-
1. Mauli & her family on balanced note. She has nothing from her side till now.

Their lists are colliding with each other. While Mauli is Kunal's first priority, Kunal is last in Mauli's. And this list is getting modified with Nandini taking Mauli's place in Kunal's life.

Typically women are considered to be more demanding of company of their partners but here Kunal is the one who wants more company but isn't getting. But that still doesn't justify cheating. But the thing is that Kunal is cheating on Mauli with his thoughts, something which is pretty common in my opinion. And this might end up on him physically cheating on Mauli. In cultured society, cheating or adultery is condemned & Kunal will be condemned too very harshly for this by his own family members, friends & professionally of course. The maximum part of this show is going to focus on conflict of both Kunal & Nandini which is to think about Mauli Vs themselves. People cheat when they hope to get something they don't have from existing things. Some cheat for sex, children, money. But I think Kunal is cheating for attention/care that he feels he is not getting.

All these sound as excuses for the wrong they do. I have seen couple in long distance relationship and meeting once in a while and still get on well. Yes they complain but they don't take a wrong step like ema.

These are the minor differences that gradually become big enough to spoil whole relationship. These are like Deemak in wood that gradually end up destroying the whole wooden structure if not treated on time.

This show is conflicting in nature where final consequences can never be accepted or appreciated but it's important to understand why modern relationships are so vulnerable. It's because of the conventional expectations which seem large & are nor being fulfilled. Human nature hasn't changed much but everyone wants to free themselves from conventional things intrinsic to relationships. And this is what is doing the damage.

I am just trying to figure out Kunal's though process even though I am strictly against the concept of the show. Psychologies need to be understood to understand the root problem.



Rest of that i agree. You are good in analyzing. We are all trying to understand why he/she is doing this. People who indulge in EMA what ever the reason may be know they are wrong, that is why they hide it.
arshi_asya thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: ..silverlotus..



Rest of that i agree. You are good in analyzing. We are all trying to understand why he/she is doing this. People who indulge in EMA what ever the reason may be know they are wrong, that is why they hide it.


It's not EMA until both Kunal-Nandini are at the same place. Right now Kunal has developed feelings for Nandini and he is acting on that impulse without realizing gravest of the consequences. Nandini will fall for Kunal's caring & protective nature something she didn't get to feel from her marriage. Let's wait when that happens.
Most of them now a days, end up on divorce & it's good to be free of such burdened and dishonest relationships. Realizing that you are no longer in love with the person you have loved for so many years or the person you love no longer loves you in that way is painful. A lot of divorces happen for this reason only. EMA is just one aspect of broken perfect relationships.


All points aside. I really think CVs should make Kunal do job. He is a doctor & doctors are supposed to be busy just like Mauli. Busy schedule will keep his his feelings in control. I think, Nandini is clouding his mind so heavily because he is not doing any job that is capable of completely occupying his mind. As they say, "Khali dimag shaitan ka ghar hota hai (Idle mind is devil's home)."😉😉
Once he will have a job, he will be busy, tired and will be looking to have rest rather than an affair.😆

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