From & To Sathish #5 - Page 110

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7PX9tPMpjg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUIZoNc-uPk

https://youtu.be/5HLfmn4vqSk

Avan, Aval, Adhu 372

Love is my religion. Love is my God. My body is a temple for that God and deep inside it lies my soul and deep inside it I house my God. It is a secret and sacred place that is out of bounds to the outside world and to all the lives living in it.

Sacred The term sacred comes from Latin sacer (“set off, restricted”). A person or thing was designated as sacred when it was unique or extraordinary. Closely related to sacer is numen (“mysterious power, god”).

Garbhagriha A garbhagriha is the innermost sanctuary of Hindu and Jain temples, what may be called the "holy of holies" or "sanctum sanctorum".

She sat staring at the clock. Her eyes were locked on the flutterings of its hands as they moved in a circle revealing to her the secret of time running out. Life running out.

Meenakshi watched the hours slip by and when all the hands of the clock stood as one and told her the time was 12.00 pm and she knew for certain that something terrible had happened and happened again.

' Twice, and that too in a matter of a few hours,' Meenakshi muttered and cursed and desperately looked at her mobile phone again hoping to see some message or a missed call notification. Nothing.

Her expensive mobile phone's screen displayed to her that the time was now 12.10 am and that it would soon turn to 1.00 am and hinted to her in digital silence that a reckoning was around the corner. Realizing that she was fast running out of options Meenakshi got up and walked to her room like a zombie and laid down on the bed with her eyes wide open.

Once again she raised her phone hoping against hope to see a message that informed her that the job had been done. But her hopes were dashed for the phone screen remained dark and blank but for the tiny clock that kept shifting and moving all over the large screen reminding her in white numbers that another few minutes had passed by.

She did not know how or when it happened but she fell asleep and slowly drifted away into the land of dreams and into her treasure chest of memories that she had of Ravi.

Meenakshi memory of seeing Ravi for the first time remained crystal clear and she had not forgotten even the they had been barely three or four years old and yet she realized that she knew him very well from the time they had been born into their families.

Ravi had been an only child for his parents and Meenakshi had been her parent's second child and their favorite one. But even though Ravi had come into this world seven months before her, his naming ceremony had been delayed for her arrival. Their naming ceremony had been a grand affair and had been conducted in the Madurai Meenakshi Amman temple.

They had looked at each other as babies but without properly seeing each other. But they had felt each other as they were laid side by side whenever their families met up and that was nearly every other day.

Drowning in a deep sleep, Meenakshi sank into the abyss of dreams and memories and whispered in her sleep, ' I love you. I love you. I will do anything for you but at the same time, I will kill and destroy anybody that dares approach you or tries to take you away from me.'

This is how Meenakshi had been sleeping even after her marriage and even after she had shared a bed and her body with her husband. She gave up her body and her privacy and even a little of her independence but she had never shared her heart, her soul, and her thoughts with anybody. Because she treasured them for Ravi and felt they rightfully belonged to him. Turning to her right she unconsciously grabbed a large pillow and throwing her leg over it snuggled against it like she used to snuggle into Ravi's arms when they were children. They had been inseparable from the time they were three or four and she remembered the tantrums that she used to throw when she was unable to meet him. They grew up together, went to school together and ate together, studied together, and practically grew up in each other's household.

Even back in those days, she had been branded as a spirit that had risen from fire and he had been branded as a spirit that had flown out from water. She always dealt with the world with words of anger and power but he handled everything with patience and a serene smile. While she acted first and thought with regret later, he always thought, thought, and rarely ever acted on his thoughts. Even in those days, Ravi's character and essence revealed themselves in the way he spoke, ate, moved, and even in the eerily calm and silent way he breathed in and out. Meenakshi had one day placed her ear on his chest and when Ravi had asked what she was doing, she had told him that she wanted to make sure that he indeed possessed lungs and if they in fact were working at all.

Then all that changed the day her body started bleeding revealing to the world that she was not a girl anymore but a woman whose breeding cycle had started and that is when she had felt a certain distance making its first appearance between her and Ravi and it had hurt terribly. That was when her soul began to bleed and soon became a house of pain and anger. Her body hurt her only for a few days every month but her soul, her heart, and her thoughts all of which were full of Ravi began to bleed every moment that she was separated from her best friend, cousin, and the love of her life.

That was the time when she began to change and soon the changes became visible, terrible, and permanent for that was also the time Madhurima had come into their lives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVr3jgQMlVU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaAMroieFNM

Avan, Aval, Adhu 373

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

The human brain is the last, and greatest, scientific frontier. It is truly an internal cosmos that lies contained within our skulls. The more than 100 billion nerve cells and trillion supporting cells that make up your brain and mine constitute the most elaborate structure in the known universe. The possible combinations are greater than the number of molecules in the known universe. The brain immediately confronts us with its great complexity. The human brain weighs only three to four pounds but contains about 100 billion neurons. Although that extraordinary number is of the same order of magnitude as the number of stars in the Milky Way, it cannot account for the complexity of the brain. It is unmatched in its ability to think, to communicate, and to reason. Most striking of all, it has a unique awareness of its identity and of its place in space and time. Welcome to the human brain, the cathedral of complexity. As we begin the 21st century, the Hubble space telescope is providing us with information about as-yet uncharted regions of the universe and the promise that we may learn something about the origin of the cosmos. This same spirit of adventure is also being directed to the most complex structure that exists in the universe - the human brain.

Best known for developing the general theory of relativity and the mass-energy equivalence, one of the most absent-minded genius physicists, Einstein was born on March 14, 1879, in Germany. His scholarly feats have made the name of Einstein synonymous with 'Genius'. When he passed away on April 18, in the year 1955, in Princeton, New Jersey, from an abdominal aortic aneurysm, his brain was stolen by the pathologist on call, Thomas Harveys.

Although Einstein did not want his brain or body to be studied or worshipped, while performing the autopsy, Princeton pathologist Thomas Harvey removed the scientist's brain without permission and kept it aside in the hope of unlocking the secrets of his genius. Harvey soon lost his job at the Princeton Hospital and took the brain to Philadelphia. He carved the brain responsible for the equation E=mc2 into 240 pieces. The parts were preserved in celloidin- a hard and rubbery form of cellulose. He put the pieces into two jars and stored them in his basement.

Harvey traveled to different parts of the world carrying the parts of the brain with him. In the year 1985, Harvey and collaborators in California published the first study on Einstein's brain. It claimed that it had an abnormal proportion of two types of cells, neurons, and glia. The study was followed by five others, reporting additional differences in individual cells or in particular structures in Einstein's brain.In the year, 1999, Harvey and Canadian collaborators got Einstein's brain into one of the most prestigious medical journals. Based on an old photograph of Einstein's brain, before it was cut, the researchers claimed that Einstein had an abnormal folding pattern in parts of his parietal lobe. It is the part that is linked to mathematical ability.

I have been curious and fascinated with my own thoughts and the thoughts of others around me and I think I can trace back the beginning of this fascination to the time when I was two or three years old when I witnessed on a daily basis the actions of my drunk father who came home just to beat up my mother and anything and anyone around in that orbit. Here was the very same man who before leaving home earlier that day had given me a bar of chocolate and spoken to me in a soft and loving way. Yet, come late in the night or early the next day, the man transformed into a monster. Jekyll transformed into Hyde. He stood in the house as Janus the two-faced God. One an angel and the other a demon.

In the darkness of the forest that lay around Madurai Azhagan stood staring at the night sky and tried to hear the distant whispers of stars and other objects that made up the cosmos.

' Mother, I feel you in me and all around me. I know that you are gone and have been gone for several centuries. Yet, you remain alive and well in me. I love you and for want of a better word, I say that again and again. I am you and you are me and you exist and live in me.'

He smiled and whispered, ' I heard you and her a long time before you arrived and crept up behind me to surprise me.'

The young man exclaimed, ' My lord, father, how do you do that? We both barely made a noise as we approached you and yet you heard us.'

The woman smiled and said, ' My lord, I tried telling him that it would not work but then you know him as well as I do and so here he is failing once again.'

Azhagan's smile was full of remorse and when he spoke, his voice was tinged with a slight anger.

' I specifically requested you both not to resort to any violence and yet you did and disobeyed a direct order of mine. Now, both of you are on the police radar and the entire Madurai police department is searching for you.'

Both the woman and the young man immediately fell to their knees and began to apologize.

The woman looked at him and said, ' My lord, I am extremely sorry for what happened but there was no other option but to resort to violence.'

The young man apologized bitterly, ' They were rude, crude and then they went and crossed the line and insulted her. I am sorry, my lord but they gave us no choice and paid the price for it.'

Azhagan shook his head angrily and said, ' The timing, child. The timing is all wrong. Both of you were given a simple job to do, which was to divert the attention of the cops while I thought of a better way to protect the lady. I promised Raman that I would not bring heat and attention on this lady while she is here in Madurai but that promise has been broken.'

The young man still on his knees looked up and said, ' But my lord, here you are with five dead men around you, and add to that the six lives that you ended earlier in the evening..' and his voice trailed off and he hurriedly hung his head in fear as Azhagan's eyes bored into him.

' Child, do you see any cameras or witnesses to my actions? It is the same scenario as the earlier situation when I killed those six men. No one saw anything.'

Turning to the woman, ' But what you both have done is exactly the opposite of my actions.'

Grunting loudly, he whispered, ' Rise.'

Both the young man and the woman got up to their feet and Azhagan asked them to explain themselves and why they had felt the need to kill nearly a dozen policemen.

The young man became sad and in a forlorn voice, he asked Azhagan, ' My lord, what is wrong with these human beings? Why do they behave so crudely and why do they have to resort to such inhuman ways?'

The woman looked at Azhagan, ' My lord, forget what we did for that is nothing compared to what you would have done if you had seen with your eyes what we saw?'

Azhagan raised his hand and gently touched her shoulder and saw what she and the young man had seen and experienced everything that had taken place in the Narcotics Bureau building.

The young man looked at Azhagan, ' My lord, this planet has bestowed so much power to this human race and yet they still behave like wild animals and in my opinion, far worse than even the most evil predators that exist in this universe.'

“Inside of me, there are two dogs. One is mean and evil and the other is good and they fight each other all the time. When asked which one wins I answer, the one I feed the most.” – Sitting Bull

I sense it as it begins moving around in my chest. I feel its limbs and wings fluttering next to my heart. I hear it whisper " Awake and set us both free " and I drift out of the sleep called little Death and stumble out of the darkness of the bedroom and step into the dimly lit hallway and out into the hall where my computer sits waiting for me to switch it on. I power up the PC and at the same time, I power up myself and feel the surge of what is to come in the next few hours. The time is 2.30 am.

I sense the bird, the animal, and the thing as they shriek, howl, and growl, and unable to contain them any longer, I place my fingers on the keyboard and type the magic words " Good morning. I wish all of you a beautiful day " and my soul slips out of me like a bird whose cage has been opened and soars high into the sky. The time is 3.30 am and I am ready to fly, to live, to write, and to create new thoughts for myself and for those that exist in my world and in whose world hopefully I exist too.

I had always thought of myself as a decent actor and one who can sometimes deliver stunning performances when the right scene comes along and when surrounded by the right team of actors and others from the direction and camera department.

Then Baakiyalakshmi happened and with it came freedom. A lot of leeway was given to me by the director and it had been conveyed to him from the top, from the channel heads themselves. So, I let myself go and open the door of the cage inside which my thoughts lay hidden and trapped, I unleashed myself and in the process bridged my acting performance with that of my rudimentary writing skills, and Presto, I inadvertently had access to a newer version of myself.

Blogging on the site called " India forums " for nearly 17 years now has given me a certain confidence in my English speaking and writing skills and the seed has sprouted and is now a seedling. Long way to go before the tiny sprout breaks the shackles it has placed on itself together with the bindings that have been put in place by others. Bindings, nay battle scars, and some still fester in the darkness of my head.

I think that I have cooked up a decent recipe in which I blend my imagination, writing, reading, and acting skills and deliver them when the camera starts and the director yells " Action " and I begin acting. My reading and writing skills come into play and along with my imagination, Satish as the character Gopi slips out and rises out of the scene paper and turns a two-page scene into a four or even five-page scene.

Nothing stops me and I turn and see the masters of cinema from old and new and hear their whispers as they guide me and blend overacting with underacting and voila, whip up another recipe of a good scene, and that too in a jiffy.

Now, I wonder if I could do the same in life. Real life. But, sadly no. Not possible for there are other actors on the stage with me and now that is a whole new world altogether.

Caged Bird By Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps

on the back of the wind

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wing

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks

down his narrow cage

can seldom see through

his bars of rage

his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze

and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn

and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

Writer and activist Maya Angelou had a broad and successful career as a streetcar conductor, a dancer, editor, teacher, storyteller, and actress. Born Marguerite Johnson in 1928, she gained fame with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, her 1970 autobiography which speaks courageously of her encounters with racism. One of the best-known writers in America, Angelou read her poem “On the Pulse of the Morning” at the presidential inauguration of Bill Clinton in 1993. She was the first black woman to have a screenplay (Georgia, Georgia) produced in 1972, and she received an Emmy nomination for her performance in Roots in 1977. Angelou wrote the poetry for the 1993 film Poetic Justice, and went on to appear in that film and others, including There Are No Children Here and How to Make an American Quilt. She died in 2014 at the age of 86.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=667_0na14Uk

Avan, Aval Adhu 374

If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Long ago Anwar Ibrahim had dreamed of becoming a chemical engineer and then flying away to the gulf and settling down there. But his late father's tantrums had forced him to give up on that dream and so after his graduation, he sat for the Tamil Nadu Uniformed Services Recruitment Board exam and after training was posted as a Sub Inspector in Trichy district. For a man who had been born and brought up in Chennai, leaving the city was like turning his back on his mother and if that was not painful enough, turning his back on his girlfriend Ramya added more pain and sorrow to his torn heart.

The tragedy was that he had just convinced Ramya and her parents that he would take good care of their daughter and then his father convinced him otherwise by bullying tactics. Needless to say that Ramya's conservative-minded parents had taken a dim view of Anwar becoming a cop and withdrew their permission for their love and their marriage.

Being away from Ramya and moving away from Chennai soon took its toll on Anwar and the darkness in him began to whisper to him. Sans happiness and hence sans peace, light withdrew giving way to dark and to evil.

In just a matter of a few years, Inspector Anwar Ibrahim became a feared cop both among cops and criminals. But, he was loved and welcomed with open arms by those who swam and wallowed in wealth and power.

For the right amount, Inspector Anwar was available to those who sought his skills and that was how he had made Meenakshi's acquaintance several years ago. So, when she had called him seeking his help with a pesky young man, he had observed loudly, ' Don't worry ma'am. I will arrest him on some ganja or coke charges and once he is in my custody, I will soften him up in my own style and then ask him what you want me to ask him and he will answer readily and willingly.'

The moment his white jeep came to a screeching halt outside the police station, the news of Anwar's arrival spread like a virus all around the police station. As was his style, he was dressed in a half-hand white shirt and khaki pants and strangely his feet were covered in expensive-looking running shoes.

He got out of the vehicle along with two tough and rough-looking constables and marched into the station.

The young man who everyone had assumed had fallen asleep smiled and opened his eyes and seeing this, SI Maarimuthu growled, ' Thambi, a word of advice. The man who is coming for you is an absolute beast. I think you should wipe that smirk of a smile off your face and cooperate with him. Please don't irritate or antagonize him for that will only make him angrier and when that happens only God, sorry I doubt if even God will have the guts to intervene when he realizes that it is Inspector Anwar who is handling the case.'

The young man smiled again and said loudly, ' Sir, why should I be scared of anybody or anything when I am innocent and have committed no crime?'

' It does not matter whether you are innocent or if you have not committed any crime for you are in my jurisdiction now and when that happens, it usually means the person I am interested in has f..ked up badly and has messed with someone who I respect a lot.'

SI Maarimuthu a tough nut himself jumped out of his chair and saluted Inspector Anwar Ibrahim and greeted him, ' Vaanga sir ' with warmth and also with fear.

Inspector Anwar looked at the young man who remained seated in his chair and asked, ' SI, is this the young man ma'am who ma'am called me about?' and the SI quickly nodded his confirmation quietly.

Inspector Anwar looked down at the young man and said, ' Do you know who I am ? ' and smiled, ' I guess you don't for if you had known that then you wouldn't be still sitting in that chair and would have been at my feet begging for mercy.'

The young man's smile grew larger and more radiant and after staring at Anwar for a few seconds stood up and said, ' I do know you for SI Maarimuthu has been singing tales about you and that only increased my curiosity to see you in person.'

Shaking his head in disappointment, he looked at Anwar, ' From what this SI was going on about, I thought a huge man, a scary looking man would walk through the door but here you are and from your average height, weight and looks all I can think of is a man who can pass off as an engineer or doctor but surely not a scary cop.'

Inspector Anwar smiled approvingly and said, ' Fear, that fear you took about will come later once you are in my domain. Men, far worse, and a whole stronger than you have been broken there and it did not take a lot of height or weight to do that. I did that and do that ' and tapping his head, ' through my imagination.'

Stepping back, he said in a grim voice, ' I think I am going to conjure new tricks to make you dance to my tunes and by the time I am finished, you will have confessed to every crime that has taken place in Madurai over the past few years. Lucky for my department, for many unsolved cases will be closed as solved and planted on you ' and, stepping forward, reached into the young man's pant pocket and brought out something, and held it up for everyone to see, ' OMG! What do we have here? A packet of white powder that looks so much like Cocaine.'

The young man's face was full of astonishment and he exclaimed, ' That is indeed a neat trick. Wow, man, you should have taken up magic instead of conjuring coke and other drugs from the pockets of innocent people.'

Inspector Anwar barked an order to his men, 'Cuff him and bring him along. But don't hurt him for that pleasure is going to be mine alone ' and then quickly signing the form that SI Maarimuthu had given him, marched out of the station.