Komal's story: no drinking water in US??

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Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#31

Ok so maybe that tap water was not frozen, and if I was in that situation I would not have hesitated to drink the water in the toilet bowl also; but does that take away from the fact that the girl was systematically destroyed? She was weak physically emotionally and mentally. She was dying.

To blame the girl after her ordeal is like saying why didn't the millions of prisoners at Auschwitz overwhelm the handful of guards. One has to understand that the victim of physical and emotional abuse is incapable of behaving in the same manner as a secure rational person would.

Yes I do blame the girls for putting up with torture at the hands of in-laws but my apportioning the blame goes to the first instance when the first harsh words were spoken or the hand raised against them for the first time. Not at the end of the torture when the victim is at death's door.

Let's retain some humanity

Edited by Chitrashi - 13 years ago

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megustajalebi

@megustajalebi

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: nancyladdi
I think people are just going nowhere in this discussion. The husband might have purposely turned off the water from outside the house. I think the people who are talking regarding the availability of water in USA and other developed countries, If you need to torture anybody, there are so many ways to do that. The water can be stopped from outside the house, It may not have happened but who knows.

I was just wanting to clear up the "there is no water every time it snows" misconception that some people brought up on this forum.

I was not trying to say that she is making things up or that she should have thought better. If you read my previous posts, I said that she may have not thought out obvious things because she had bigger problems to worry about.

She was an abuse victim and her thought process at the time was something that most of us cannot fathom. I know that and have said that many times in other threads.

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Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#33

Sorry not pointing finger at anyone, but somehow we seemed to be forgetting the fact that Komal was not a character in a serial. Her story was not something we can point to lax CVs and figure out bloopers. It was a tale of survival from a victim of abuse.

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megustajalebi

@megustajalebi

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: Chitrashi
Sorry not pointing finger at anyone, but somehow we seemed to be forgetting the fact that Komal was not a character in a serial. Her story was not something we can point to lax CVs and figure out bloopers. It was a tale of survival from a victim of abuse.

Sigh... it's just a discussion. I think a lot of people who reside in America/Canada were wondering about the water issue. It certainly came up in my mind and my friends' minds while watching the episode the first time and also the second time. Regarding my posts, I just wanted to point out to people that snow in general does not cause tap water to freeze and that tap water here is ok to drink and is fluoridated. Water filters, such Brita jugs or built in fridge water dispensers, are not needed but sometimes people prefer them due to the water's taste or reduction in certain minerals.

I'm sure most of you would have attempted to provide clarification or clear up misconceptions if someone had a question/was confused regarding something about your country.

I doubt any of us thought she was making things up. I don't think anyone here has forgotten that she was an abuse victim and a real person.

I'm done with this topic. To me, it seems like clearing misconceptions and asking questions due to confusion, even if they seem minor, does not sit well with some people. Apologies if this group was somehow offended by a simple discussion.

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uelngenng

@uelngenng

Beginner

Posted: 13 years ago

#35

She had very sad story to tell and I fully sympathize with what she has gone through.
But I don't get one point where she said her husband broke the filter and she was without water for 4 days.

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Yuvika

@Yuvika_15

Moderator

+ 9

Posted: 13 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: rsinging
I was born and raised in California, depending on geographical tea, water does not taste the same. I went to college in AZ and water there was gross. Now I'm in Va, disgusting but I would drink it if needed to survive.

I think we are being harsh on this young lady. Remember she was new to the country. He probably limited her thinking by scaring her. She didn't know any better.

I agree about the door, leave something to block it from closing but again, when you are under so much pressure it is hard to think logically. Add to that fear, hunger, a new country and language. It can be scary.

Still, there are some questions about the events.

@bold...
well said...its easy 4 us to sit and say "oh she cud hav done this...oh she should have done that" but its a completely dif story wen ur living the torture... ur mind doesnt think the way it shud do...

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Kalapi

@Kalapi

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#37

I don't think that anyone in this forum don't believe the girl or the fact that she has suffered so much in the name of dowry. We all sympathize with Komal. But the Program definitely lack a bit of depth in view of these 2 questions, especially because people in India hardly knows about the US system and to me since the anchor/directors did not think it was important to clear the confusion regarding these issues, it led to some amount of miscommunication coming from the program (and surely a failure in part of the program). How are people to be aware of what is available in a foreign country or where to turn for help? – In fact the program directors should have brought these issues up in their discussion with Komal for the future girls/boys/students/bride who will surely leave India for USA…it could have provided the audience with valuable information of the countries that are not native to them…specifically the 911 system and where to turn for help in the country under discussion, when crime occurs…

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Dr. Kang

@JattiTude

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#38

Originally posted by: mitzification
I dont know about the tap water stuff but just because laws are good in US and 911 is available dsnt mean abuse dsnt happen there ...wether it be with asian females or the natives.
Abuse is just not about hitting but psycologicaly scaring the person and making him submissive.

Didnt a similar thing happen in delhi , a young maid was left locked inside the house for many days , food was available but she had been threatened from touching it .. she dint touch anything for a couple of days .. when it became a life and death issue she raised an alarm.

Even in Harish's case he says he was 18 and we may well ask why a 18 yr old boy didnt revolt ... but well he didnt.

Abusers don't think like us ... perido .. they are wired diffrent.

agree... and thats what happened to my friend as I had mentioned in my earlier post...

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Simran

@ek_sweetladki

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#39

I found that strange too that she said there was no drinking water for 4 days coz I live in US too. However, for her not seeking help from anyone as strange as it maybe but I think she was still stuck on the fact her husband will come and rescue her (yeah she should have got the idea that he was no good and would never do that...but its the same thing as women who get abused who still defend their husband because they think its okay for them to punish them as they maybe the ones who didnt do the right things)...I know it is insane to think that way but at the same time people in really complicated situations sometimes dont have the right mind set to think. I mean this women was trapped and felt unimportant for so long by her husband that she probably assumed no one else would help her but him. I felt really sorry for her. 😭 But I am so glad she finally took a stand and decided to call women shelter and get rid of him!!! 👏

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gudgal

@gudgal

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#40

yeah I felt the same too, about water and also 911. However I thought about something else. I have been in the US for sometime now and I also dont have any family here. However here friends become ur family, I am surprised she didnt have a single friend or neighbor she could have confided into. When he locked her, she could have just run off and asked someone for help. People are very helpful, even americans. if not anything they will at least call 911 and make sure ur safe.

I am no means saying she was wrong or poking holes in her story. I get it she was confused, scared and didnt know what to do. I dont know, given a situation like that I would have been same. But four days is a long time to be calm and take a decision. This is my opnion.

Edited by gudgal - 13 years ago

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