Joint family vs Nuclear family.... - Page 13

Originally posted by: reguser

Exactly. He understood Ishan and his family very well. But, didnt understand his own daughter's priorities.

Btw, I was expecting Suhana to say why AC only in my room, but she didnt and I am disappointed. But more than that I was disappointed with Ishan also. I thought he came to Rano's room to complain why did she insist for an AC. But, no, he started telling her the luxuries of Suhana's house. I am more disappointed.😔

Originally posted by: laxmi_s

Hey pallavi....even i thought about the same yaar.....Inch pinch....I seriously thought Ishaan is out there at the night to speak openly to his mom as to not to give in to Suhana's demands so easily as it can put her on the edge compared to others..... again we cannto expect Suhana to be mature enough to say a no to AC so didn't expect any reverse reaction from her though i wish she becomes like that in future.....😃

Originally posted by: 111192

ishaan wants suhaana to stay with him as he loves her a lot and also for his family so ishaan wants her to be happy and he saw how happy suhaana was on seeing an AC in her room.........so for that moment he became a bit selfish so thanked his mother for AC rather than questioning😊

Regarding suhaana i found her to be far mature than i thought like in her house she cribs about coffee but in her sasural she have it whether she like or not ,similarly even if she is feeling irritated with presence of other members se does not speak rudely and try to keep to herself

Originally posted by: _charu_

i have shortage of time otherwise i wud have read all the pages..very interesting discussion..every system has its pros and cons , as rightly pointed out by "dewdrop-pearl" (i hope i got ur ID right buddy) ..bec. in JF and NF , human nature plays an important role which is very dynamic & ever changing and it has i think crores of variations...

firstly, i wud like to make myself clear on what i mean by "joint family"..a joint family for me means chacha tayas living together and it does NOT mean living with ur husband's parents after marriage...i believe that it's very unfair if a girl thinks that her husband must leave his parents and live independently bec. SHE cannot adjust to them..i know in few cases it's unavoidable but still one can try living together ..who else can understand the pain of living seperate from ur parents other than the girl? if that's what today's teenagers term as a "joint family" then the situation is very grim...

secondly, why r girls opting for NF now ? may be bec. we are becoming more and more intolerant and impatient day by day..nobody is at fault here..our upbringing is such...we're pampered by our parents (just like Suhana) and our thinking automatically changes tht way..before pointing fingers at others, like in a joint family one has to adjust and compromise and every other day therez backbiting in the family etc. etc. just think that you yourself r not perfect..u are a part of that group...don't u form an opinion about others? the same way they also do !

i've lived in a joint family before marriage and i've experienced all the advantages and disadvantages..why should i sound preachy? i myself didn't wanna marry in a joint family bec. i know myself..i'm very sensitive n i'm finding it hard to adjust in a "nuclear" family after marriage, God knows what wud have happened if i was living joint...i had a lot of adjustment problems after marriage but i realized with time, how much i changed..for better..with the help of influence of so many ppl. around me..i'll try my best tht i don't become the reason for my husband and his family's seperation...apart frm that, i cannot cope up with the pressures of JF system...u need a lot of tuning b/w the family members and therez hardly anybody as good as Ishaan's family...nowdays , with limited means, it's getting more difficult to sustain a joint family , specially in metros...

i wud just like to add that it depends a lot on the elders of the family, how THEY manage everything...it's not impossible to live in JF....and it surely has more advantages than living seperate...

Originally posted by: vishmewell

Well trust me Vish, we have also tried such similar stuff. We tried asking him to give explanation for similar things (like electricity), but somehow he always finds a way through it with his arguments. U know what he will say to that, he will say 'when an electric wire is connected to a bulb, and when it is switched on, the bulb lights up and when switched off, the bulb goes off, thus we can say electricity is passing through the bulb. The lighting up of bulb proves the existence of electricity!'

That's where he is getting smarter than you because you did not nail him down 😆 If he cannot accept the existence of god with Physical proof thru Ramayan and Mahabharat or any other physical evidence, he must also show you electricity without any material support.

And for Karma aspect also I have had arguments with him. He definitly believes in actions, and he is a good human being who tries to be good and do good deeds (so indirectly he believes in good Karma). But that is just bcos he has a good heart. But he doesn't believe in 'good deeds = good consequences', as he always talks about how good people are never rewarded and how bad people always get what they want. He talks about living examples in our family whereby someone would have lived all his life doing selfless deeds for others, but only bad things happened to him and eventually he died a bad death with no one by his side. Similarly, he also talks about a lot of bad people who keep prospering day by day. Then he talks about other unfair things that keep happening in this world on a daily basis. And now if I am trying to convince him this point with the help of 'Reincarnation Theory', since he doesn't believe in that, again that explanation will not be convincing. He will ask me to give scientific evidence for the existence of the process of Reincarnation, which obviously I wouldn't be able to give .

Reincarnation and carry over of Karma is something no one can prove. As long as someone believe in good actions. Also, the very fact that he has witnessed good people suffering and bad people being rewarded, it is an indication that there's some energy above mankind and there's something unexplainable phenomenon (for people who don't believe in what u believe in).
Who controls What is not in your controls???

Even regarding Astrology, I had told him the exact same thing, that Astrology is not an irrational thing, but is based on mathematical calculations and study of planets. But again his question is 'Do you have any proof that the movement of some planets in the space can actually bring about changes in a person's life on earth? What a stupid theory is that in the first place? How can the movement of something external to earth actually determine so many aspects of a person's life? You give me scientific evidence for connection between planetary movements and a person's life and then I will believe you' .

Sun is also part of our Astrological planets. If one should believe our survival depends upon Sun, then why other planets cannot influence our life? He should read some books that are written with scientific evidence.

Regarding Dwaraka, even if I am able to convince him about the existence of Dwaraka, he will again question me regarding the evidence for the entire story of Ramayana.

He should read the Book "The Cradle of Civilization" It is loaded with scientific evidence. Gift him the book. 😊

Trust me Vish, I know him very well, he is soo smart, he will keep cross questioning me until I am tongue tied , have been making vain attempts in this direction for a long time now 😆!

Originally posted by: reguser

Yes, it is human tendancy to give best to our daughters. But, my point is Suhana is a totally a spoilt brat. She throws things for silly reasons, she needs diff types of coffee early in the morning (this is something I dont believe, even top celebreties also may not be doing like this...) etc. This nature is something really rare. So KK being a sensible person should have thought whether Kashyap house will get adjusted to Suhana.

Actually, as many have told in the forum, he understood Kashyap's family, but didnt understand his daughter well.

Originally posted by: serialjunkie

@dewdrop - Interesting discussion on your uncles beliefs and his need for Proof of God.

I can see his pov. I can understand his adamancy. There are scores of scientists who are also believers of God in their personal lives. I dont think the two are at odds, rather the two paths are parallel. For someone seeing is believing while for others just believing is good enough.

I wont bother changing you Uncle with arguments, its futile. An atheist will never understand or believe and will always find a loophole in your line of explanation because, really, none of us have a solid proof that conclusively proves the existence of God in the way empirical methodologies do. Yet, many of us have felt HIS presence and experienced things that can only be explained as miracles.

To deal with your Uncle, its best to not broach the subject of religion, God or faith. He will never see your pov. Belief by its very nature is intangible and cannot be scientifically explained. He has his way of life and you do yours.

Actually, atheists firmly believe in the precepts of actions = consequences much MORE than theists. Theists believe that while actions have consequences, repentance and prayer can divert the ills of human life. Therein lies the fundamental difference.