With you my life is Impeccable."
--Tanya
I stood before the punching bag, motionless. My fists pained. I'd been punching the poor bag since two hours...maybe more.
"Why the hell did I do it? When I knew what was happening to me?"
I punched once more and the punching bag went flying into the air, banging the wall before slumping onto the floor.
'We could have been possible. If only I hadn't let the ego come in between."
I punched again, this time straight onto the wall.
A sting of pain travelled inside me. However it was not greater than the pain my heart felt. It was nothing compared to the guilt I felt, on betraying myself, hurting myself.
*Flashback*
"Ouch", she whimpered. I was surprised. Though the sound had barely been above a whisper, I am always all ears to Sanyukta. The slightest sound she makes...does not vanish before being heard by me. Why though, I have yet to discover. I glanced up to look at her, hurting my own finger in the process.
She looked up at me as I looked at her. Her gaze faltered towards the blood oozing out of my finger. For a moment or two, I could see concern, for me, in those grey orbs of hers. Although her face was expressionless, her eyes told me something else. She did care. She was hurt. Not because she herself was hurt, but because I was hurt.
I smiled inwardly before taking small baby steps towards her.
'Sanyukta?! Yeh kya hogaya!''the guy rushed to her.
I should have been angry. That guy had the world's worst timing always. But well he was worried about her truly, so who was I to stop him from doing so.
Parth held Sanyukta's other hand gently and guided her out of the room. Before departing, Sanyukta turned to look at me. I could see the slightest hint of disappointment in her eyes, but it was gone within a blink. When she looked at me again, her eyes expressed gratitude...before disappearing in a flash, only to be replaced with an unreadable expression.
I wonder why though, I saw the disappointment in her eyes. I wonder if its an illusion, or mere reality.
*End of Flashback*
Ajanabi se huwe hai kyun pal saareBANG.
There came the fist banging on to the wall yet again.
I shook my fist vigorously, trying to drive away the pain, but that didn't seem to work.
I picked up a towel, wiping his fists off the blood. Faint trails of the red blood remained on my hand, but the white towel was covered with blood. I threw the bloodied cloth onto the bed and started punching yet again.
*FlashBack*
"Randhir mujhe mera register do! Do mujhe!" Sanyukta screamed, chasing me as I darted outside. I rushed into the storeroom and she followed me even there, like a lost puppy. Only, she wasn't lost, and nor was she a puppy. She was more of a hungry tigress. Hungry and desperate. To solve the code.
Damn her. She can never leave me alone, can she? Why does she always have to, HAVE to, poke her nose into everything I do!
But then again...Dont I do the same? Arghhh.
I hurried out of the room, locking her inside, and immediately ran to bring a bucket of paint.
I painted all the walls, covering the codings, I'd written all over. The college students stared at me like I'd lost my mind or something.
Well for them it was definitely surprising. Randhir Singh Shekhawat, the class topper and the handsome hunk, was painting the college walls.
But for me, Well I just mentally slapped myself for losing my mind and doing such a stupid thing.
Writing my thoughts on the walls? God. What was I thinking, doing such Farzi deeds?!
I sighed with relief, as I realized that I'd finished painting all the walls. I'd been so engrossed in my thoughts, I'd not even realized how quickly I'd done my work. Sometimes these thoughts proved to be really useful.
And my thoughts' just proved that to me again, when another came popping into my mind. It reminded me that I'd forgotten about the classroom desk.
I picked up the paint buckets and hurried off.
As I came bustling into the classroom, the first sight that my eyes settled upon, was Sanyukta. I don't know how she managed to get out of the storeroom...or maybe I know. She is an engineering student after all. A mechanical engineering one. Guess even my mind and heart, knew somewhere deep, that I'd find her here.
Arghhh. Now sometimes these thoughts could be very distracting.
I paced towards her and after, taking a moment to admire the hair strands falling over her bent face, I threw the entire bucket of paint on her.
And then I smirked.
God knows why I do that. Why I don't want her to affect me so much, but always end up letting her do so. But well the things she does. They MUST affect me.
Take this for instance. I knew she would do something unexpected.
God. She is so predictable. Or maybe I am a mind reader.
She pushed me hard, sending me toppling onto the floor.
Man. When did she become so strong?
She jumped upon me and started beating me, spreading the paint over her, all over me.
I tried to stop her, and managed to do so, when I caught hold of her hands.
I pulled her down, closer to me.
She did look into my eyes for a brief moment, without struggling to be free.
But just for a moment. Then she jerked up and got off me, walking away furiously.
Why was she so difficult to understand? One moment she'd be angry and then next moment she'd go all soft and girly. And then back to angry. Gosh.
How do I tolerate this girl.
Or maybe that's WHY I tolerate her.
I smiled, proudly.
*End Of FlashBack*
Lusty lonely, bin tere bin tere bin tere Lusty lonely, koyi khalish hai hawaao mein bin tere
My hand hurt from all the punching I'd been doing and still was doing. I bent down and started doing push-ups. Damn. My hands really hurt now.
"Arre Randhir Bhai! Yeh aap kya kar rahe ho! Aapke haath se toh khun nikal raha hai!", Jiggy shouted as soon as he entered the room and saw me.
He advanced towards me, as if to help me, but I glared at him. He cowered away, and walked out of the room as quickly as he entered.
I felt sorry for him. The poor guy had to face me every day, with my various mood swings, the most common of them being, my Anger. But well he's my roommate. He must bear with me, the way I do with him. And that loser ofcourse. The mere thought of that guy, refreshed my anger.
But then I thought about Jiggy's concern for me.
And another memory came flashing into my mind.
*FlashBack*
"Randhir Paaji! Aapne suna kya? Voh Sanyukta haina, voh subha se dikh nahi rahi. Kaustaki badi tension mein hai. Aapko milein toh mujhe bataana. Mai Kaustaki ko dukhi nahi dekh sakta." Yoyo said, with a genuinely grave look on his face.
But my mind was stuck on 'Subha se dikh nahi rahi hai".
Immediately, my mind rushed back to the minute when I'd seen the cycle she'd been working on, near the water supply tank. I had bothered to think why she'd left it lying there, but then decided not to interfere anymore. Cause while interfering in her matters, I always get the opposite done. Instead of troubling her I get myself troubled. With her thoughts ofcourse.
I wished I had looked around for her then, though.
I rushed to the courtyard where the tank was there. Something told me she was here, nearby.
I looked around here and there. Checked all over the place but she didn't seem to be here.
Just as I was about to leave, I heard a soft noise.
No it wasn't a whimper, or whisper, or weak shout or anything. It was just a noise. A faint one. A dead one.
It seemed to come from the tank.
I walked closer to it. And that's when I saw it.
I saw the ladder placed near it.
And the feeling came.
The Instinct' or Gut' feeling that comes sometimes.
My heart raced as I climbed up the ladder and lifted the top of the tank open.
My breath caught in my throat.
There she lay. Drenched...Drowned, would be a more appropriate word maybe. Her hand lay lifelessly just next to the inner side of the tank. I realized that her hand must have banged onto the tank from inside, creating the soft noise.
I immediately, without caring about the water that was still pouring in from the pipe, dived into the water. I lifted her in my arms hurriedly and quickly climbed out of the tank.
God knows how Yoyo always knew everything, but thankfully he was standing near the tank and came to me as soon as I got Sanyukta out.
His face changed into one of worry and he rushed to inform the others.
I layed Sanyukta on the ground and shook her, as if to wake her.
But she lay there motionlessly.
I even went so far as to slap her. But she didn't show an inch of movement.
I held her hand and checked her pulse.
Then I took a deep breath and bent down.
I pressed my lips upon her and breathed into her mouth.
Once. I came up. She still wasn't breathing.
Down I went again.
I kissed her harder this time, reciprocating all the breath I had, into her.
And there she choked.
Spitting all the water out right onto me.
But I was too relieved to care. I pulled her up and grabbed her for a hug.
She sat motionless, before registering what was happening and then curled her arms around me.
Guess she'd realized that I'd just saved her.
Why else would she return my hug?
*End Of Flashback*
Yuun ke har subah, ik bereham si raat ban gayiI increased the pace of my push-ups.
Memories seemed to be flooding into my mind today.
As one slipped out, another slipped in. A recent one now.
*Flashback*
"Kyun mai tumhaare bare mein sochta rehta hu Sanyukta, Kyun?
I hate you.
I can never fall in love with you.
I hate you Sanyukta."
I froze.
I'd covered all the writings on the wall.
I'd erased everything of the classroom desk as well.
How'd she get to know?!
"Itna bhi mat socho. Jab kuch thaan leti hu man mein, toh bas karke dikhaati hu. Zyaad hi mehnat kit hi tumhaara code crack karne. EK copy, tumhaare coding ski, mere room mein thi. Raat ko baithke solve karne vaali thi par voh umm pain vale incident ke baad bhool gayi thi uske bare mein."
I turned around, masking my nervousness with a smirk.
"Hmph. Bola thaa na. Kitna bhi koshish karlo, kabhi decode nahi kar paaogi? Farzi kahiki. Koshish hi kyun karti ho?" I asked.
"Kyunki koshish karne vaalo ki kabhi haar nahi hoti!" She replied instantly.
"Hahaha! Par Farziyo ki haar humesha hoti hai. Idiot. Kya anaab shanaab decoding kar liya tumne? Code ka asli meaning toh yeh hai..." I said.
I ranted on a little, explaining her about writing some exam notes in code language so nobody else could read my out-of-course research. I also let the "I Hate you" part remain in this new decoded language I showed her, to express that she'd caught one line correctly atleast. I smirked as I told her that while writing my notes I'd specifically written 'I hate you" and some other rude stuff about her because I knew that only she would try and poke her nose to steal my notes from me, instead of coming directly and asking for help.
She looked doubtful at first but then her Feminist kicked in and she said she should have known it. She should have known that I'd be writing something selfishly, meant only for me.
As she walked away, I saw the hint of disappointment in her eyes, yet again.
This time it was definitely not an illusion.
I regretted hiding the truth from her.
I wondered why I took the trouble to write my feelings everywhere in coded language, and then erased them when I found out that she had cracked code, and then when she decoded the writings, I brought out a paper with the wrong codings and the wrong solution, I'd kept for emergency?
All this despite secretly wanting her to know what I'd written everywhere, but couldn't tell her?
Well that's me. Always confused. And always doing the opposite of what I want to.
I sighed.
*End Of FLashBack*
I stood up.
Weared out after all the punching and push-ups I did, I sat on the bed. Why did I deny it?
Why did I not accept it then that she'd decoded the writings correctly.
It just lead to further misunderstandings.
*FlashBack*
"Kyun Randhir kyun? Kyun humesha mere zindagi ko barbaad karne mein tule rehte ho? Why cant you just LEAVE ME ALONE?" She screamed before throwing my phone onto the desk and walking out of the classroom.
It hurt.
Her words hurt.
I hadn't done it intentionally.
I hadn't meant to.
Sure, I'd thought of doing it but then I'd just striked out the plan.
But stupid me. I didn't strike out the photos.
And accidentally sent the photos of SANYUKTA in a MECHANICAL LAB, to SAMEER.
Instead of helping her solve her problems, I only managed to increase them.
And now she thought I really am the villain in her story.
But then, ain't I? Ain't I really the villain?
*End Of Flashback*
Lusty lonely, bin tere bin tere bin tere Lusty lonely, koyi khalish hai hawaao mein bin tere
I ain't the villain.
And I will prove that to her.
I stood up and strode into the washroom with firmness.
I quickly showered, bandaged my wounded hand and changed into a fresh black shirt and faded blue jeans.
Then I picked up the keys of my bike and rushed outside.
I WILL show her, that I am NOT the villain, but the HERO, of not HER, but OUR story.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Next shot up tomorrow!
Arjun
