Kokila's upbringing!

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Sherry

@NazimKiDewani

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: ilike_tv

Yes, love happens... but when mom interferes Love goes outta window!!! That's so unfair!!!

Ap keh sakte hai its unfair... But forme... If my mom said i leave a guy who i love most so happy happy i leave the guy without asking any question... Coz i love my mom n respect her to the core n i also know the guy who she choose for me was world best guy... So wht u called me mama's girl or i did something unfair with that guy ... No dear parents are important more than any any thing in my life... So i understand Ahem may be more than u guyz.. My thinking match with Ahem 😳

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ilike_tv

@ilike_tv

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: -GiNa-

Ap keh sakte hai its unfair... But forme... If my mom said i leave a guy who i love most so happy happy i leave the guy without asking any question... Coz i love my mom n respect her to the core n i also know the guy who she choose for me was world best guy... So wht u called me mama's girl or i did something unfair with that guy ... No dear parents are important more than any any thing in my life... So i understand Ahem may be more than u guyz.. My thinking match with Ahem 😳

If I know my parents so well I would not fall for a guy whom they would disapprove!!!!😃 I know sherry parents are important, but that will not give you the license to break someone's heart!!!! Yeh dill ki karobaar shuru karne se pehle sochne chahiye ki 'I have parents too!!! and they have a tendency to say NO!!!!

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yhm_craze

@yhm_craze

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#23

brilliant post Madhu and great POV from all! 👏

well i suppose human relationships are like that..everyone is human..koki being a parent does not mean that she has to be perfect..she has erred in the way she treated her husband..the way she kind of brainwashed her kids so that they had no respect for their father..i havent seen SNS from the first episode but whatever little i saw Koki did not behave very well with the other members of the family too..maybe because of her bitterness that Parag was not successful and Chirag was...

yes Ahem and Kinjal both were spoilt, self centred, egoistic and arrogant..but i dont think that Ahem was spoilt in the sense that he had a privileged childhood..i can imagine Koki not allowing him to play or enjoy at all and making him study till he dropped! ..no wonder he never smiled! i think comparatively Kinjal has had a relaxed childhood where everyone pampered her..

but as you grow you meet other people, you form your own opinions and parents cannot be blamed for everything that you do..they mould your basic values but once you grow up you decide what is right or wrong...yes both were forced into their marriage..but from what i have read in this forum though Ahem did not want to marry Gopi, once he was married he intended to make it work? it was only Urshi and Kinjal's kalakaris that created misunderstandings...yes that does not excuse Ahem's cruelty but i am not sure if he deliberately set out and plotted to make Gopi's life miserable the way Kinjal and Urshi seem to do with everyone..as far as Kinjal is concerned, she was ready to do anything even at the cost of her family's honour to marry the man of her choice..she even lied that she was pregnant! would Ahem go to those lengths? i am not defending Ahem just wondering if he would lie and cheat the way Kinjal does to get what he wanted...

even Koki was not an angel to Gopi in the beginning but once she realized the goodness in her she softened towards her and now loves her more than she loves Ahem! Ahem too now realizes how lucky he is to have Gopi and really cherishes her..but Kinjal? i am sure by now she knows that Dhawal is not a bad person, in fact he is a very good, kind man and yet does not hesitate in humiliating him at every turn...why because he is not rich...this is how she values a person...Ahem has also erred in his judgement of Gopi and Dhawal by jumping to his conclusion before knowing them but once he realized he has not hesitated in making up for his past behaviour..today its so obvious how much he respects Gopi and Dhawal...but Ahem is really lucky that Gopi and Dhawal have a heart of gold and have forgiven him..

look at Rashi...you cannot blame Urmi for what she does...she must be instigating her but isnt Rashi an educated adult? Urmi told her to run away in jewelry track and she promptly jumped out of the MM window!!!...so are we going to say that its Urmi's fault that Rashi is this way? Gopi has lived with Urmi all her life but she never tried to get anything by taking the easier and wrong way..she suffered and suffered but stuck to the right path keeping her faith...

i just kept on typing so dont know if my long rant makes any sense but what i am trying to say is that parents upbringing cannot be blamed for everything...

Edited by dipsy80 - 13 years ago

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Sherry

@NazimKiDewani

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: Justlikethat1
@Ponny, Leki and Sherry - The fact that Ahem never stood up for Anitha or his love shows that he just did not value that relationship as he should have. Anitha was his dream. He thought he wanted just that particular dream and as any person whose dream was snatched away he poured his disappointment into the person he could put it on which was Gopi unfortunately.
That was Ahem's mistake. He just was not clear about his priority to Anitha. He was clear about it in his heart. To him his mom's word was the bible. If that was the case the guy should have made that clear Anitha on day 1. He did not and he put himself, Anitha and Gopi through the mess because of his botched job.

@Ponny - I will not be so quick to absolve Mr. Parag of being at no fault here. Wanting peace in the family is all good and wise. I understand that he felt dominated by Koki and her desire to see her husband earn his living.
But I think that although Koki does sound the extreme, the simple fact that she needed her husband to earn itself is not incorrect. A joint family where she has to look for her BIL to provide for her and her family can be humiliating. It is hard because you know that you are dependent on someone other than your husband for the good upbringing of your kids and your family.
If the Modi's had not been so conservative, Koki could not gained her financial independence that reducing her bitterness. Unfortunately she could not. We do not know the reason why. But I do not think it was being a poet that made Koki go against Parag but the fact that he could not provide for the family when he was needed most.

absolutely right 👍🏼

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Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: ilike_tv

If I know my parents so well I would not fall for a guy whom they would disapprove!!!!😃 I know sherry parents are important, but that will not give you the license to break someone's heart!!!! Yeh dill ki karobaar shuru karne se pehle sochne chahiye ki 'I have parents too!!! and they have a tendency to say NO!!!!

So be safe and fall in love after marriage😆😉

The fact is if one falls in love, then one stands up for it. But love is not just to your new GF.. It is also to your parents. When one cannot do justice to either or one of the above, then do not fall in love.

It is wrong to break anyone's heart ,be it a parent or the lover. So yeah.. I go with Ponny.. Think before you leap😊

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yhm_craze

@yhm_craze

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: -GiNa-

absolutely right 👍🏼

i agree with that! well said Sherry! 👏

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DivineDarkness

@DivineDarkness

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: -GiNa-

Ap keh sakte hai its unfair... But forme... If my mom said i leave a guy who i love most so happy happy i leave the guy without asking any question... Coz i love my mom n respect her to the core n i also know the guy who she choose for me was world best guy... So wht u called me mama's girl or i did something unfair with that guy ... No dear parents are important more than any any thing in my life... So i understand Ahem may be more than u guyz.. My thinking match with Ahem 😳

Sherry if u knw parents dnt agree den try nt to fall in love... evn den u fall in love dnt express if u express nd u r committed den dnt go back... coz if u go bk its cheating...u cheated parents by falling in love evn aftr knowing dey wnt accept nd nw u r cheating dat person for reason ur parents wont agree... Love jus happens and one shld nt leave it for watever reason if ur r commited... So i cnt never accept wat he did with anitha

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ruchisahay

@ruchisahay

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#28

Great discussion going on here 👏.

What I feel is going against parents or jilting grilfriend are extreme steps. I find Ahem's fault in his being passive about the whole thing 😡

He didn't try at all to convince his parents, he didn't try to bring forth Anita's strong points (which made his fall for her in the first place) before his family, he didn't try to convince Anita to make minor adjustments to fit into his family. Nothing at all

My parents were initially against my guy as they did not want me to leave India. Well, I am married to the guy in question with full support of my parents. I just discussed the issues with both my parents and hubby and things worked out . They might not work out always but Ahem didn't even try 😡😡

He has gone against his Mom when he has really believed in something - Gopi's education, business being more notable ones. So that only means that he was never sincerely into his relationship with Anita which is so sad as Anita was whole heartedly into their relation.

What's worse is - Ahem punished Gopi for his own shortcomings. Finally Gopism worked and we got to see a beautiful love story but that doesn't nullify ahem's initial faults.

Anyways, coming to Koki's upbringing, I find her good but flawed and that reflects in her upbringing as well. Anyways, there's this nature vs nurture debate that's been on for a long long time. Ahem and Kinjal were born certain way, taught things by Koki and then by life and everything together contributed to the person they are now. So, we can't blame Koki alone for Kinjal's issues.

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Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#29

@Dipsy - You made perfect sense. 👍🏼 That is all there is to it.

Everyone of these characters are humans. Good or bad is based on the decisions they make when they have a choice. Once you are a certain age (I think I have repeated this line a dozen times😆), the choice is yours and yours alone. The fault is not with others for a wrong choice.

One can go wrong but the fact remains that you take responsibility for the mistake not point the finger at another😊

Edited by Justlikethat1 - 13 years ago

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Sherry

@NazimKiDewani

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: ilike_tv

If I know my parents so well I would not fall for a guy whom they would disapprove!!!!😃 I know sherry parents are important, but that will not give you the license to break someone's heart!!!! Yeh dill ki karobaar shuru karne se pehle sochne chahiye ki 'I have parents too!!! and they have a tendency to say NO!!!!

Ponny when u falling in love so ur brain goes on vications... When u falling love u wont think such thing before fallen love... I know... I have no right to broke someones heart but sometime Ap majbor hoti ho... Kabhi kabhi dono mein kis ek chunna Ap ke liya zaruri ho mata hai... U wont left ur parent for sake of dam love or a guy... Parent is parent one love or one guy didnt take their place in my heart

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Kokila's upbringing! - Page 3

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