Pushing the Line - A Mistake

Page

Next Last

Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

This will not be a popular view but I felt this as I watched today's episode. I think Rashi is better sticking to irritate Anitha than to show Gopi how to irritate Ahem.

I am not saying that she was wrong in asking Gopi not to forgive Ahem immediately. No, she was right then. But taking it to the next day and going forward with the same treatment is taking things overboard.

I am as much as a fan to see Ahem lose his control in frustration and make a point to Anitha as all of you. But as Aish said, I cannot see that anger directed at Anitha after today. Reasons..

Ahem is short tempered. He loses his cool very quickly and says things he does not mean. But after that he does repent. And he is honest and fair in taking the blame.

This time he was cruel, no doubt. But he has realized the extent of hurt his words would ahve caused Gopi and that has hurt him too. He is now trying to apologize and listen to her. He is ready to soothe her fears and comfort her. Tell her that he did not mean those words.

The entire day of silent treatment combined with the previous night has made him understand the gravity of his mistake. But by taking this to another day and going overboard, what Rashi has done is to stroke his ego.

You see I was once told that when you apologize and truly repent, you do not ask for an apology for the same mistake again because if you do it means your first apology had no value. Ahem was at fault, no doubt and do not think I am taking his side. But I think it is fair and he would expect that Gopi give him a chance..

I see the questions coming.. Did Ahem give Gopi a chance a year ago to explain? Well, again this is not tit for tat.. And that Ahem is not this one. If Gopi had taken the time to explain which she was about to do before Anitha the witch interfered that day, he would have given her the chance. Like he gave her a chance to explain why she lied during the family split..

But I think Gopi was right in calling Ahem today. She should have stuck by her decision.

Ahem admires that quality of forgiveness in Gopi. He knows that Gopi is infinitely patient and she will forgive him. This very thought makes him repent more because he knows that his wife will not punish him.

This time, if Gopi had called him, Ahem would have been more ashamed and grateful to Gopi for giving him another chance. Gopi and Rashi would have struck gold.. Ahem would have listened and would never have made the same mistake again.

But as Rashi equates all men as the same, she has missed this point. By pushing Ahem further, I think she is creating a mess for Gopi. Ahem will blow up on Gopi and I will defend him that day. Every one deserves a hearing.

Ahem already is in repentance and all he is asking for is a hearing. I think Gopi wants to give him that. Instead of making this a big issue, it could have become a great advantage if she had gone by her instincts. But now or atleast with that hanky scene tomorrow, GoShi have lost their edge.

Just my PoV. But I think this trick will only backfire on Gopi.

Not that I will mind because Ahem will again make up for it.. But that is beyond questioning and the scope of this post.

Quote

Frequent Posters

suk19

@suk19

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

this is why i said the rashi may just take it too far as for her a thrill of a kalakari is better than having sex with her husband😳,, i agree with what u are saying one day is enough to torture your husband my hubby says my silence kills him so it makes him feel more guilty

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

FlowerHater

@FlowerHater

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

yes by not giving him chance to speak they are doing the wrong thing!! As I mentioned in my other posts as well that the chances of this KK to backfire is huge which will let down KOKi in her this challenge to Anita leading to Goki rift which will make her to take some strict step!!

Quote

shruthi2010

@shruthi2010

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

harini what ever you are saying is true.
but aham needs to talk and learn to say no
as for talk he is the guilty party. so he should have done some serious thinking to ask forgiveness. atlest he could have woken her up. he knew gopi was fake sleeping. he could have woken her up with his presistence. try to find were she is corner her. nothing. he wants forgiveness handed over in a golden plate.
he seriously needs lessons how to soften yr wife.

next for no
anita was at his doorstep. it is late night. the lights were off. still the witch had the courage to knock. he went to stammer mode. a defenite no, could have been useful.
cant he say anita it is late night go to sleep. i cant talk

a little bit of suffering is good for aham at this point. this is not only for the recent incident for all those issues of past 2yrs

Quote

Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: shruthi2010
harini what ever you are saying is true.
but aham needs to talk and learn to say no
as for talk he is the guilty party. so he should have done some serious thinking to ask forgiveness. atlest he could have woken her up. he knew gopi was fake sleeping. he could have woken her up with his presistence. try to find were she is corner her. nothing. he wants forgiveness handed over in a golden plate.
he seriously needs lessons how to soften yr wife.

next for no
anita was at his doorstep. it is late night. the lights were off. still the witch had the courage to knock. he went to stammer mode. a defenite no, could have been useful.
cant he say anita it is late night go to sleep. i cant talk

a little bit of suffering is good for aham at this point. this is not only for the recent incident for all those issues of past 2yrs

Shruthi... You are adding those two incidents together which in Ahem's mind is separate. He wants to soften his wife.. He is trying. He is not waiting for her to serve him but he is waiting for her to give him a chance.

That he did not wake her tells us that he wants to give her space and time to consider his apology and maybe change her mind. He has not stopped trying. He tried to talk when he came home and called Gopi. Then he found her asleep or pretending. He was happy that she came to the room at least but he found her not answering his call and saw that he missed another chance. He tried talking to her when he said G'Nite to Anitha.. And he will try tomorrow.

It is not the lack of trying. Ahem is not a run of the mill romantic who will throw flowers at Gopi and hold his ears.. He is a man who is proud and he is asking her for a decent hearing so that he can properly apologize. That is all..

As for saying no to Anitha, I have a feeling that he was looking for the very excuse Gopi came up with. He does not want to slam the door on her face but let her down a little politely. He did not stammer today. He was just looking for a way to escape..

Although I agree he needs to say no, I think he needs to be told that this is what is troubling Gopi. He thinks she is angry at him for the words spoken.. Not angry at Anitha.. Just my PoV shruthi.. I am not absolving him, just saying GoShi failed to take what was given to them in a platter😛

Quote

swasthi

@swasthi

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

Great post Harini.

I agree with many of your points but think differently on this.

In this case, it is all about timing - right place, right time and peaking.

Ahem is simmering to building to boiling point. When he leaves for office tomorrow he is unaware of Anita's intentions to challenge Kokila. He is only aware of Gopi, his inability to talk to her and him missing her.

When he returns home in the evening he will want to spend time with his wife. He may return earlier than usual because of this need. He could be faced with many things unbeknown to him. His arrival home may place from the fire that is raging inside him to the frying pan of another of Anita's challenges being acted out, to Anita openly declaring him to be on her side, to Gopi being in need of assistance which he could only give, to other things that the CVs could come up with.

His heart is there for only Gopi. He wants and seeks only her. He cannot continue in this state any longer. He will be very ready to bring all this to an end. He could snap as we anticipate him to. The question is when he snaps what will urge him to do so? Will his line be pushed as much as Gopi's is?

Quote

Munni

@munnihyderabad

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

Harini... great post ...i loved your views...

but my views are different from what you think...

- Well ..you think Gopi and Rashi are pushing the line to the extreme..and they are not giving him time to explain or clarify things from his side...

- but for me ... it is a must...here ..just as we want gopi to be more assertive and confident in dealing with Anita and the rest of the things...we also need to see the assertiveness in Ahem.. can't he find gopi in the house.. can't he wake her up and talk to her... he is not assertive in the relation of being Gopi's husband...

- I know... i am walking on the road less taken... but how long will Gopi have to give him chance to explain his side... he needs to learn to take the lead in the relation...he should be able to wake her or take a little bit of effort to talk to gopi in a more assertive way...

- he could have well woken her up and talked to her... how much deep sleep would she have gone in five minutes ... i know u said to give time and space to her... i don't think that is the excuse... there relation is in a state where both have to execute their rights on each other for the relation of being husband and wife...and i really don't think confession is stopping them ..atleast stopping Ahem from being assertive...

-he is witnessing gopi a little bit of change in gopi...since anita came.. be it her being sad or her being assertive... he should also execute some of the rights and be assertive ...atleast on gopi in their room...

- Harini... i really don't know if the track will backfire...or not... but Ahem should also learn that he cannot take her for granted ...and the silent treatment will definitely erupt a volcano in him,,,

- in the long run for their relation... just as we expect the change in gopi towards their relation and towards her husband...Ahem also needs to be assertive in confronting gopi in the four walls of his room...

- this silent treatment is needed for him... how long will he be in the shell.. he needs to come out of it... for his emotions need to be brought out...not just in silence and anger and frustration but in a constructive decision making ...and taking steps to work on their relation in such situations...

- silence is fine ...only when there are no hindrances in their relation.. once a 3rd party is trying to cross the LoC ... then he better speak up ..the least he could do is talk to his wife

- we need these two people to put their efforts in their relation...and Ahem needs to take the step...he needs to confront her.. get hold of her... talk to her and apologize to her...

I know ...I am sorry ,,,I came across a bit sharp...people will dislike this view point...but again

as rupal says...size 7 chappals towards the North pole please 😃 so that i can save some time to shop for my chappal😛

p.s: and a clarification..don't get me wrong...i am not anti-Ahem.😆.. it is for his own good i want a change in him,...

Quote

hana_y

@hana_y

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

all what you are saying are right but i feel what ever gopi is doing is good why im saying that ahem know how to get angry o gopi say no to her why not with anita , why he cant refuse her why he will always wait for gopi come to save him . he did first mistake dopi has forgive him , the second time it was worst he compare her to anita , yes he know gopi will forgive him when he will ask to forgive him here i saw how he will get angry but not on gopi but on anita because of her all this is happening .in the prev did he ever give gopi a chance to explain no , did he ever listen to her no , did he ever forgive her no but punish her yes . today we are seeing him anger to accept his sorry . then he will realize how he did to her before .

Quote

Sandy914

@Sandy914

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: munnihyderabad

Harini... great post ...i loved your views...

but my views are different from what you think...

- Well ..you think Gopi and Rashi are pushing the line to the extreme..and they are not giving him time to explain or clarify things from his side...

- but for me ... it is a must...here ..just as we want gopi to be more assertive and confident in dealing with Anita and the rest of the things...we also need to see the assertiveness in Ahem.. can't he find gopi in the house.. can't he wake her up and talk to her... he is not assertive in the relation of being Gopi's husband...

- I know... i am walking on the road less taken... but how long will Gopi have to give him chance to explain his side... he needs to learn to take the lead in the relation...he should be able to wake her or take a little bit of effort to talk to gopi in a more assertive way...

- he could have well woken her up and talked to her... how much deep sleep would she have gone in five minutes ... i know u said to give time and space to her... i don't think that is the excuse... there relation is in a state where both have to execute their rights on each other for the relation of being husband and wife...and i really don't think confession is stopping them ..atleast stopping Ahem from being assertive...

-he is witnessing gopi a little bit of change in gopi...since anita came.. be it her being sad or her being assertive... he should also execute some of the rights and be assertive ...atleast on gopi in their room...

- Harini... i really don't know if the track will backfire...or not... but Ahem should also learn that he cannot take her for granted ...and the silent treatment will definitely erupt a volcano in him,,,

- in the long run for their relation... just as we expect the change in gopi towards their relation and towards her husband...Ahem also needs to be assertive in confronting gopi in the four walls of his room...

- this silent treatment is needed for him... how long will he be in the shell.. he needs to come out of it... for his emotions need to be brought out...not just in silence and anger and frustration but in a constructive decision making ...and taking steps to work on their relation in such situations...

- silence is fine ...only when there are no hindrances in their relation.. once a 3rd party is trying to cross the LoC ... then he better speak up ..the least he could do is talk to his wife

- we need these two people to put their efforts in their relation...and Ahem needs to take the step...he needs to confront her.. get hold of her... talk to her and apologize to her...

I know ...I am sorry ,,,I came across a bit sharp...people will dislike this view point...but again

as rupal says...size 7 chappals towards the North pole please 😃 so that i can save some time to shop for my chappal😛

p.s: and a clarification..don't get me wrong...i am not anti-Ahem.😆.. it is for his own good i want a change in him,...

Harini loved ur post, yeah it might back fire, but here i am with munni, he should take lead in his relation, he can't expect that gopi should come everytime..
@ Bold - 👏⭐️

but when it comes to backfire.. i don't think it will be, coz this is rashi's idea.. but koki is also plotting something which brings ahem gopi closer.. this will open up for the direct challenge b/w koki and anitha..

But poor ahem, he really doesn't know about anyone.. how all the ladies in MM are playing with his life and wife :P

Quote

Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

@Munni..That was a good view and comments were fabulous👏

Don't worry. .those size 7 chappals may come my way and not yours for I think you are in the majority today..😛

Those points are are very valid and I accept them. I am not absolving Ahem at all and I do not think wanting him to realize the mistake and make a stand in his relationship is anti-Ahem.. Actually it is pro Ahem😆

The need for Ahem's assertiveness, his understanding, his stand in this relationship and his support for Gopi are all things I want him to do too.. As Shruthi pointed out, he did not come out with a NO to Anita today.. he needs to learn to do that, no doubt but he is still to understand relationships..

I honestly think that he will if Gopi makes it clear that she is uncomfortable with the time he talks about Anitha or spends with her. See I am not saying Gopi needs to say this. I know this is not that easy and I know that G will never make that statement.

I do not blame Gopi for being silent with him. But there is a limit is what I mean to say..

His assertiveness would have come in a totally different way if he was given a chance to explain. Now it may come out in anger and I hope that it is constructive and makes Gopi feel a part of Ahem than not..

Marriage is always two ways Munni and there is no two opinions about that. Yes.. Ahem has to work on his marriage the same way Gopi works. But my point is the man is clueless.. He thinks he is wrong in saying those words. He does not realize that he is wrong in not taking a stand against Anitha and her antics.

He needs to be told.. Hard and makes Ahem seem dumb, but that is how it is.. Men, Munni, cannot think like women do.. What is obvious to us is a mystery to Ahem.. This silent treatment may of course give the desired benefit.. I am all for that.. And I cheer for that..

My apprehension is that it may not but again as I mentioned, I cheer for that too.. There is never a right or a wrong in relationships.. What Rashi does is neither right nor wrong. The result will make the decision. But that is not the point.

After pushing Ahem for 2 days, my PoV is to strike and make him explain. Then when he is in that mood let him know how it feels to be ignored and along with that say how uncomfortable it is for a wife to be in the presence of a GF.. Gopi need not do it.. Rashi can in one of the conversations mention that in the passing. Ahem will be all ears..

Throw the man a rope.. If he then does not catch it and come back, it is his fault. I am sure he is just waiting for a thread. That is all😛