How dysfunctional!

Originally posted by: Laila2009

Ahem is a grown man and a professonal. He happened to be absent from a meeting and suddenly his mother punishes him by forbidding him to go to work. Ahem agrees with her decision and stays home. If a family expects a grown man to make decisions at work about a millionare dollar company, then it seems rather backwards to dictate to him if and when he should go to to work!?!?!

I mean, if he is such a pivotal part of the company and he has made the company move forward, then Kokila is destroying her family's company by refusing that he go to work.

But this boils down to a simple point, Ahem is a grown man and should make decisions independently of his mother. When she leaves the world, he's going to have to make them. Instilling that ablity in a person to do them while a parent is alive, is the best GIFT you can give your child. That's helping them to become indepenent, learn how to problem solve and learn to live with the consequences of their deciosins both good and bad.

Originally posted by: munnihyderabad

laila here are my views about the bold parts

@bold 1 :

Ahemji abides by it because he knows he is wrong in missing a meeting, which means he got distracted from work and his mom is hurt because of his negligence to work

because - for kokila, the first and foremost thing with top priority is work... all the things come later...

why would he sit at home when his mom asked him to stay home - he could easily go to work...but he did not... because even at this age him mom's words mean everything to him...he did not even contest or refute her decision
why would he press the clothes when his mom asked him to do- he could easily refuse if he does not respect her ...
why did he not give the pressing job to gopi because he feels himself responsible for his mom's pain ...so he wanted to go through the punishment which his mom gave...

(these are from Ahemji's views as why he abides by her decision )

@bold 2:

by not sending him to work and making him do the house work... she wanted Ahem to realize the importance of office work...to make him desperate to go and work..and now he knows that whatever you do in personal life ... never to get distracted from work... he will be more careful and more attentive towards work

@bold 3:

According to her and us... her vahu and dikra are very naive and they do not have the capacity judge the other person's intentions...which is very true

When she is there she is protecting them... when she is not there... anyone can take undue advantage of their naivety... to put some sense into the couple she is going through the hard way...as her vahu is too sweet she needs the lesson hard...

she said she is living her life through her children... then how can she let her own life ruined by the likes of Rashi...

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as long she is not secure in her heart and mind that gopi and Ahem can manage on their own, inside and outside the house she will not let them out from under her wings...

there is a saying "even if a man may be a king but he is still a child to a mom" ...however successful business man he may be...but he is still her son and she is the one who needs to show the way .. guide them through the ditches and thorns...take them safely to the destination

what if mom is not there in future...then she will make sure the kids are ready to face the future on their own

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sorry for the long post

Originally posted by: Laila2009

Guys, I do not need to get an essay explaining why characters are doing what they do in your subjective opinion. The purpose of my post is the message sent by the writers that Ahem should be punished or that he needs to be dictated to is wrong. We saw nothing in this storyline to point it out either in the character's thoughts or actions or that of other characters reactions. We all know Kokila is authoratative and the point made by my initial post is this type of behavior is dysfunctional and non-productive in the success of any person. If you don't agree with it, that's fine but puleeze spare the lengthy explanations as to why a particular character in your view behaves in a specific way and if they're long, I stop reading them.

So what if he missed a meeting? Technically he never did; the guy showed up early because he went with this wife (who apparently needs to grow up to) and get a gift for his mother who never appreciated it.

Originally posted by: angelirebelli

So discuss, is it or is it not a dysfunctional behavior? It's OK to say it's not.

Well, if you cant read or handle others opinions then no point asking for them. Not everyone will agree with you and each one has a perspective.

A post calls for opinions and people are entitled to air them, however long or short, agreeing or disagreeing with whatever the post is about. This is supposed to be a healthy discussion and one does not need to be dictated about the course it takes.

Originally posted by: munnihyderabad

laila here are my views about the bold parts

@bold 1 :

Ahemji abides by it because he knows he is wrong in missing a meeting, which means he got distracted from work and his mom is hurt because of his negligence to work

because - for kokila, the first and foremost thing with top priority is work... all the things come later...

why would he sit at home when his mom asked him to stay home - he could easily go to work...but he did not... because even at this age him mom's words mean everything to him...he did not even contest or refute her decision
why would he press the clothes when his mom asked him to do- he could easily refuse if he does not respect her ...
why did he not give the pressing job to gopi because he feels himself responsible for his mom's pain ...so he wanted to go through the punishment which his mom gave...

(these are from Ahemji's views as why he abides by her decision )

@bold 2:

by not sending him to work and making him do the house work... she wanted Ahem to realize the importance of office work...to make him desperate to go and work..and now he knows that whatever you do in personal life ... never to get distracted from work... he will be more careful and more attentive towards work

@bold 3:

According to her and us... her vahu and dikra are very naive and they do not have the capacity judge the other person's intentions...which is very true

When she is there she is protecting them... when she is not there... anyone can take undue advantage of their naivety... to put some sense into the couple she is going through the hard way...as her vahu is too sweet she needs the lesson hard...

she said she is living her life through her children... then how can she let her own life ruined by the likes of Rashi...

as long she is not secure in her heart and mind that gopi and Ahem can manage on their own, inside and outside the house she will not let them out from under her wings...

there is a saying "even if a man may be a king but he is still a child to a mom" ...however successful business man he may be...but he is still her son and she is the one who needs to show the way .. guide them through the ditches and thorns...take them safely to the destination

what if mom is not there in future...then she will make sure the kids are ready to face the future on their own

sorry for the long post