I hope to update regularly, but my schedule does get hectic, so bare with me. Also this won't be a long story, but you know never know where it may take me.
Hope you like it.
SS: To Belong
Part 1
Gopi stood in front of her kanaji praying for a good day ahead. She had stopped asking for anything else six months ago. Only her strong devotion to him, made her come back in front of him everyday and just ask for a good day.
Only the tiny life in her womb made her look forward to next day.
A life that was conceived out of passion, not love.
Gopi went down the mandir steps and then to the sidewall to look out over the river behind the mandir. She felt at peace in this place.
As usual, soon as she sat down, her mind flashed back to the past.
Things had been going well between her and Ahemji, despite the fact the family was in turmoil because of her Rashiben and Kinjalben.
In her naivete she had believed that his changed behavior towards her was because he was finally coming to care for her. All her dreams had come crashing down around her the morning after the passion filled night. He had put an end to her illusion of love.
Gopi sighed deeply. Even then she hadn't lost hope completely. In some corner of her heart it kept burning like a candle in a dark night.
Then one day even that had been taken away from her.
Now she only lived for the tiny life inside of her. The life, which she will bring into this world that will not be a burden on anybody.
Gopi closed her eyes and felt the cool air against her face. Her mind wandered back to past once again.
She saw Ahemji teaching her, the shock of him wanting to do this for her had surprised her. She had been nervous at first but as the days passed he made her feel at ease. He stopped being harsh with her yet he was very strict.
He became gentle towards her after Janmasthmi and her birthday. He had surprised her by taking her out to a quiet place to vent her feelings, and listened to her talk about her parents. She had cried on his shoulders and he had offered her his handkerchief to wipe her tears.
Even with all this, she hadn't taken things to be more than they were, she had considered him to be a friend and hadn't expected more than this.
Her hopes didn't start to rise until Navratri. For the first time he had bought her a gift, not her alone, but it was still something.
Then Rashiben's truth had come out in front of the family and the family had been in turmoil, in all the hurt and pain Diwali and their anniversary were put aside while the whole the family dealt with the latest crisis.
Gopi had felt as though she was split in half. Although she loved her Ben and Mami, at the same time what they were doing to her family was wrong, they had made the situation worst by making the family look bad, and made it impossible for Rashiben to come back to MM by involving Nani.
Her saving grace had been Ahemji showing his caring attitude towards her, making her fall in love with him more. His gentleness made her hope rise to the impossible heights.
She has yet to come up with a reason as to why he went back to being the harsh, angry husband. Had he only felt pity for her as he had said to her, the morning after the most beautiful night of her life? Why did he show her so much indifference after giving her so much pleasure that night? Was it just wanting her physically, that had made him be nice to her?
"Gopi dikra." Gopi was jolted out of her thoughts by the panditji's voice. She turned towards him. "Jai Shree Krishna panditji." She smiled at him faintly.
"Jai Shree Krishna. Gopi dikra you should head home, your Naniji will be worried if it gets too late." Panditji reminded her.
"Ji, I was just leaving." Gopi glanced back at the river one last time and slowly walked towards Nani's home.
Gopi scolded herself for trying to come up with a reason as to why Ahemji's behavior changed towards her again. She needed to accept the fact that he would never love her the way she loved him and move forward with her life. She now had another life depending on her and she have to put the past behind her and look forward to the future.
XXX
Ahem closed the file in front of him after making the last notation in it. The project was complete, and now he can breathe a sigh of relief.
He has kept himself busy for months with the latest project, to keep from thinking too much, to keep the memories at bay.
Not only him, but also his staff can relax now. He had been very demanding and hard to please for the past few months. They had all been shocked to see old angry Ahem after so long and could not figure out the drastic change in his personality. He was even more demanding than before and it didn't take much to spark his temper.
Ahem was aware of his staff's displeasure at his behavior but hadn't done anything to change it. The more they complained, the more he demanded. He had known he wasn't being fair but had been unable to control the situation.
He stood up and walked to the window. The night was dark; there was not even one star shinning in the sky. All the sparks were gone, no lights shining anywhere, just as dark as his heart has become of late.
He closed his eyes and immediately her picture flashed in his mind. Sweet, innocent smile, with so much love and hope in her eyes.
That picture faded to be replaced by a picture of a face with sad smile and lot of pain and confusion in the big brown eyes. The picture that made his heart ache so much.
Why the regrets now Ahem? You pushed her away for your own ego, and out of fear of loosing control. This is what you wanted, so what is the point of looking back?
At the time he hadn't known it would hurt so much. He never thought that she would leave Modi Bhavan. He hadn't wanted that, he hadn't wanted her so far that he couldn't even see her.
Ahem Modi you are a very selfish man. You didn't want her, yet you expect her to be there for you. Why? So you could see her die slowly by your harsh words and your indifference, by ignoring her existence in your life. Did you not see the effects of your treatment of her the first year of your marriage?
Ahem opened his eyes and turned back towards his desk. He did not want to listen to his inner voice lecturing him. He put the laptop and the files in his bag and made his way out the door.
When he pulled up in front of his house, he didn't immediately get out of the car. He sat back and stared at Modi Bhavan. Everything looked the same from outside, but inside was where the changes were noted, not in the house itself but in the people that lived there. So much has happened in such short time that no one has been able to recover fully. Will they ever get the happiness back?
Ahem grabbed his bag and made his way to the door slowly. His mom opened the door, and he greeted her. "Jai Shree Krishna mom." As usual his mom glanced at him with curiosity and greeted him back.
"Jai Shree Krishna Ahem." Ahem was surprised by the knowing look in her eyes. Until today there had only been disappointment but today he also saw triumph there, as if she noted the dissatisfaction and regrets in his eyes.
His mother told him to freshen up and come down for dinner everyone was waiting.
It was the same every night for the past six months. No small talks, no asking how the day went. If he wanted them to know something he had to come out and say it. He knew his family was disappointed in him but no one ever voiced their opinion. As far as they are concerned he was happy with the way things were so why ask.
This too was his fault, he hadn't asked why she left, why no one stopped her and so they took that as signal to not volunteer the information either.
It was too late to ask now, he doesn't even know where she is at, and all he was told was that Dhavalji took her with him at her wishes.
He glanced across the table at his sister and frowned. His sister has changed into a person he didn't even know anymore. She didn't care that her husband left her, in fact she had said as much. She told the family she did not want to be married to Dhaval anymore and wanted to continue her modeling career. She told them if they forced her, she would leave and be on her own.
His mom had been ready to throw Kinjal out but Kaka and Kaki had stopped her. They thought it was better if she was where they could keep an eye on her so she wouldn't get in any trouble. His mom had given in, but refused to even speak to Kinjal.
Koki glanced at her son and noticed the preoccupation on his face and nodded in satisfaction. Now you will realize what you have lost my son, I have been waiting six months for this. She pulled her pallu over her shoulder.
She glanced at her mota Bhabhi and met her eyes, nodding discretely, to let her know she also noticed Ahem's preoccupation.
"Ahem, why are you not eating, is the food not to your satisfaction?" Ahem was startled when he heard his mother. He looked down at his plate and realized he had only eaten few bites. He looked up to see his family looking at him curiously.
He turned to his mom. "The food is fine mom, I am just not very hungry. I think I will turn in early tonight." Saying this he stood up and left the table before anyone could stop him.
Ahem paced the length of his room. He didn't know why he felt more anxious today. Was it always there, but he suppressed it with keeping busy with work?
He stopped in front of her side of the wardrobe and placed his hand on it as if to feel her presence.
When he returned from his two-day business trip he had been shocked to learn she had left Modi Bhavan. It seemed so unreal at the time, but once he saw the empty space in his wardrobe, reality had set in. What had been more shocking was she only took basic things and left everything else behind, he didn't know until one day he opened her wardrobe and found all of the valuable jewelry and designer saris.
He had shut the doors without touching anything, but today he had an overwhelming need to be close to her.
He opened the wardrobe and just stared at her things at first, then his eyes landed on the pink and white sari he had gifted her, not the best choice, but she had responded as though he had given her a designer piece. She had not only worn the sari but had proudly announced it as a gift from him.
He brought the sari close to his face and inhaled her scent. He felt a sense of calmness come over him, just like her presence used to make him feel.
As he was putting the sari back his eyes landed on a gold piece of cloth but when he took a closer look he realized it was Gopi's Kanaji, the ones she always had with her.
Why did she leave her Kanaji?
Hope you liked it!😊
Part 1 page 1 Part 2 page 6 Part 3 page 12 Part 4 page 15
Part 5A page 20 Part 5B page 24 Part 6 page 30 Part 7 page 35
Part 12 page 63- Last part.
Cricket
Kumkum Bhagya
Tum Se Tum Tak
Sampoorna
