Help needed...about Sathiya and Gopi...

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malinn

@malinn

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#11

👏 Relda...

First of all...you write beautifully...and your thoughts are well sorted out...

This is a Sathiya forum... Not an "I Love Sathiya" forum...

You have highlighted points about Kokila... And asked such relevant questions...

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aashima326

@aashima326

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

#12

I also said previously and again want to say that most of the I Indian women love a man bcoz he is her husband and this is the concept of Indian arranged marriages that we trust our god that he gave us right life partner for us an by the way u said abt why aham love her as a person so i want to say she do not love aham as a person and agreed that her love is towards her relationship but still she do not want to change him and accepted him the way he is and she too bound towards her relationship that she never love anybody else than him. so if aham ever love her that only bcoz of the real gopi not for the change bcoz if someone love the changes then that love vanish easily if person get better option but if someone loves u with all the flaws u have then that love wid u even after u. like gopi loves him wid all the flaws

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angelirebelli

@angelirebelli

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#13

Bravo Relda !!! I cudnt agree more nor articulate it any better... U ROCK !!

The GOPI-AHAM has developed to be a very complicated one. Gopi's single minded devotion to her husband is ideal but lacks reality. Any woman, even if she were not educated, has a core to her being, which includes self respect ( deepite them being innocent, dumb or not aware of the ways of the world). I have now moved from being shocked at her to being amazed at her servile attitude, lack of confidence and mostly her ignorance. Lets be real people any woman in her situation would prefer to walk away (whatever her circumstance!!).

Having said that, I am in complete agreement with you, when you say why do people expect Aham to change esp love her. Love is too small an element and disdain too big an emotion to be overcome by knowing her qualities, goodness. I also, agree when you say Gopi shud make an effort to understand Aham n his world, if she wants to be in it !!

People definitely need a common ground in forms such as sensibilities, intellect, social sphere etc for a start and if not that then LOVE (which is far fetched) .. Gopi needs to choose the work on the lesser of the two evils to even get noticed..

One cant expect a smooth ride on a bumpy road with a flat tyre, u either change the tyre or take a different route!!!

Do I make sense or have I lost u??

Edited by angelirebelli - 14 years ago

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ANJ4

@ANJ4

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#14

I like everything everyone has said ...Now I am more confused than ever... I guess I will keep reading and watch to see what happens ...best way out dreaming of gohem.

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malinn

@malinn

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: aashima326
I also said previously and again want to say that most of the I Indian women love a man bcoz he is her husband and this is the concept of Indian arranged marriages that we trust our god that he gave us right life partner for us an by the way u said abt why aham love her as a person so i want to say she do not love aham as a person and agreed that her love is towards her relationship but still she do not want to change him and accepted him the way he is and she too bound towards her relationship that she never love anybody else than him. so if aham ever love her that only bcoz of the real gopi not for the change bcoz if someone love the changes then that love vanish easily if person get better option but if someone loves u with all the flaws u have then that love wid u even after u. like gopi loves him wid all the flaws

Very true Aashima...

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malinn

@malinn

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#16

Yes angelribelli... Relda does write very well... But then, your inputs are also always spot on...and always very well put... 😊

I especialy liked your line... Gopi must understand Ahem in his world if she wants to be a part of it ...

Edited by malinn - 14 years ago

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angelirebelli

@angelirebelli

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: malinn
Yes angelribelli... Relda does write very well... But then, your inputs are also always spot on...and always very well put... 😊

totally agree with you...

awww.. Thanx malinn - u r most kind !!

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malinn

@malinn

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: ANJ4
I like everything everyone has said ...Now I am more confused than ever... I guess I will keep reading and watch to see what happens ...best way out dreaming of gohem.

😊

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manjushree8.00

@manjushree8.00

Beginner

Posted: 14 years ago

#19

hmmm...mallin ur rit...bt v vil have 2 acpt dis...czz dis iz a serial bt a real story of a women...in serial n moviezzz everything izz possible...so jst wtch n njy d epizzz ...k😊

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Relda

@Relda

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#20

Thanks guys, for making me feel at home despite my contrarian views. Every marriage, whether it is a sight-unseen arranged one or a culmination of years of romance and togetherness, requires compromises, adjustments and re-evaluations. Both partners need to meet each other half-way to make a marriage work.. it doesn't happen automatically or by divine interventions. And this is what we are expecting of Aham (not terribly unreasonably) - to wipe out memories of his first love, change his nurtured views about the kind of life-partner he desires, re-focus from a life-style of intellectual conversations and social interactions to one of religiousity and plebian household affairs. But, to have an expectation that Gopi should also change her attitude and try to grow mentally and socially is wrong?

She has moved from a life of cooking, cleaning and picking up after other family members in her pre-marital home to a life of cooking, cleaning and picking up after the members of her sasural. Her situation in the mean-time has improved noticeably.. her two MILs are pillars of strengths behind her, advising, comforting and supporting her during her darkest hours.. her FILS are loving and genuinely appreciative of her.. her BIL thinks the world of her. But, she has not shown an iota of growth in either confidence, savviness or desire to change her ways to give her marriage a chance of survival. It would have been nice if it were shown that Gopi trying to find out about Aham's birthday, before Koki decided to take the bull by the horns, and plan something nice for him, silently, unselfishly and without any expectations, as per her nature. It would have been nice if they had shown Gopi asking Jigar for tips on how to improve her vocabulary or awareness of Aham's work-place. It would have been nice if they had shown Gopi doing something - anything - special for Aham that she doesn't do for every other member of the Modi family.. tending to a physical indisposition or praying to Kanhaji to help others in their hour of hardship. It doesn't help that Koki's plan to bring them closer is to make her do stuff that even Mani could have done with ease.

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