Part 12
The first couple of sessions were easy where Kabir and Ananya discussed how they met, how they decided to get married. The third session was going to be a completely different ball game.
Counsellor: So you are both extremely successful professionals. Did your work ever become a hindrance in your personal lives?
Kabir: Never. Ever since we started dating we always prioritized each other and later Kunal over work. Our marriage, our son, that was our first priority.
Counsellor: Ananya? You haven't said anything? Do you disagree?
Ananya; Umm.. I mean initially no. Kabir was an amazing boyfriend and husband. He invested more into the relationship than I did. And with Kunal he was a perfect father. I was still rather young and immature when we had Kunal and Kabir in fact played a major role in taking care of him when he was a baby. He did everything, changed nappies, fed him, put him to sleep. As he grew up, Kunal was always a bit of a daredevil.. A lot like me. Kabir constantly looked out for him.
But...
Counsellor: But what Ananya?
Ananya: Kabir was always super ambitious and when he had to make a choice..
Ananya stopped speaking. The counsellor gave her a few minutes.
Ananya (choking): But when he had to make a choice betweek a career-defining story and his son, he chose the story...
Kabir: That's not true!!! You know Kunal was the most important thing in my life. It was a bad judgement call.
Counsellor: Kabir, please. Let Ananya speak.
Ananya: He wasn't there for my baby. My baby kept asking for him. My baby died while his father was busy chasing professional glory.
Counsellor: Did you two ever discuss Kunal's death?
Ananya: I have told him many times how much I hate him for abandoning my son
Kabir: And I have apologized an equal number of times.
Counsellor: You didn't answer my question. Did you discuss his death? Express what you felt about it?
Ananya: What's there to discuss?
Counsellor: Everything? Neither of you has moved past it. How did you feel when Kunal died?
Ananya: I still remember the feeling of Kunal clinging on to me and then suddenly his breathing stopped. His body became cold. And I couldn't do anything. And I felt so lonely and empty. But my husband wasn't there. He wasn't there for his son, he wasn't there for his wife
Counsellor: Kabir what about you?
Are you OK?
Kabir: I didn't see him that day. Ananya didn't want me to come close to him.
Counsellor: And you didn't protest?
Kabir: How could I? She was right. I had failed miserably as a father.
But I saw him the next day. I clung to his body, hoping against hope that he would wake up. But he didn't. He never did.
Counsellor: Kabir, Ananya don't you think you both need to work on your thoughts.
Ananya you described Kabir as a terrific father who was devoted to his son. Yet the only memory you want to hold on to is his absence during Kunal's death.
And Kabir, while you keep saying that you made a bad judgement call you hold yourself as guilty as Ananya does.
Ananya: What's the point of this discussion!
My son is gone.
He will never come back.
I couldn't do enough to save him.
Ananya broke down crying. Kabir hesitantly put his hand around her. But as she appeared to calm down, he strengthened his grip.
Kabir: Ananya you were the perfect mother. And don't cry like this. Kunnu would never be able to bare seeing his partner-in-crime cry like this.
Ananya; Kabir why weren't you there for us? Why?
Kabir: Ananya if I could turn the wheels of time back, I would have done things differently. You and Kunal were my life. You accept that, don't you/?
Ananya: But, why... why did this happen to us?
Ananya clung to Kabir and cried her heart out.
Kabir: I know it's an impossible to move past it. But we have to do it for the sake of Kunal's memory. That;s what I told myself every time i felt like killing myself.
Ananya: Shh.. don't say that. If you had harmed yourself, I wouldn't...
They sat for a long time, holding each other. Finally they moved apart, emotionally drained, but feeling much more at ease.
Counsellor: Kabir, ANnaya you need to practise talking to each other. That;s the only way you can move past this shared sorrow.
Kabir: i never thought we'd benefit from this. but I was wrong. Thank you. And I promise to be more receptive in future sessions.
Kabir and Ananya reached home to find Pia waiting for them.
Pia: Mumma, Papa whele were you? Pia was waiting fol you.
Mumma wele you clying?
Ananya: No baby, I am just tired.
Kabir: What did our baby bear do today? Did you trouble Nani?
Pia: Of coulse not. Pia made a dlawing. Of us.
See that's Nani, that's Papa, that's Mumma and that's me.
Kabir: The beshtest picture :)
Pia smiled and turned to Ananya.
Pia: Mumma did you like it?
Ananya: I loved it.
Pia: Are you shtill tiled?
Ananya: Not at all.
She pulled Pia into a hug. Pia gestured Kabir to join. Kabir hesitated but Ananya gave him a warm nod.
He came and put one hand around Pia and the other hand around Ananya. He hadn't felt this peaceful in years.
Ghum Hai Kisikey Pyaar Meiin
