FS: A traitorous taste (for Smitar) Part 5 page 27 completed - Page 5

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tvbug2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: aaliah3108


hey Sabs !

Me Ruchi this side. Please don't ask for an excuse for not replying ... it is okay really ! I am rather glad you decided to write on Parud ...this is much more important than replying to me ...hehehehe! See it made so many people happy on the forum and we could get talking.

While I used to read the old posts on RR ...I always had the urge to write to the writers to say how brilliant their work was and I do ...as and when I get a chance ... so as soon as I spotted you ...I made a dash to address you ! 😆

Parud have made me loony ... together ... individually as Paro and Rudra.. I am always thinking about them and end up comparing so many stories to them and of course Ashish / Sanaya's brilliant acting ... can't seem to get my fill no matter what I do.

Shall wait for your next post ... at least I can be wishful that you may think about writing further ! It will be wonderful I know. 😊


Thank you Ruchi for your kind words. It's lovely to meet you too. 😊 And I am absolutely delighted that you enjoyed my RReviews. As I said before I am new to this entire FF scene, so please do bear with me - I really hope I can live up to your high expectations.
Ashish and Sanaya were brilliant as PaRud - obviously a large part of the credit goes to the crew, but the talent of those two was mind-boggling. Which is why it was such a superior, fine romance - so very few of those going around. Pity it didn't last. They went at jet speed after the first few months, when actually we could have savoured the many potential tracks for ages.
Trying to post tonight - like I said, bear with me. 😳😃
tvbug2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#42
Thank you Senorita for your support. 😊 Really appreciate it.
tvbug2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: tvbuf

I love Smitar's stories


Thank you for this subtle OS

Me want more 😛

I'd like to know what Rudrs thinks when he sees Paro licking her lips 😉

Honestly, it was so easy to picture the scenes you have described so beautifully in this OS

Please do write more 👍🏼

Ahhh Tvbuf, Smitaaahhr is just in a class of her own as a writer apart from being a genuinely nice person!!
Delighted that you found this OS subtle - I tried hard. 😉 And yes I intend to get around to the sexy part..but .just a little later... And thanks for the encouragement, really appreciate it.
tvbug2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#44

A/N: Here it is - the second part of this story, although it's actually the first part, sequentially taking place before my first post. I know you're waiting to read what happens next, but I can't give you the ending without telling you why, can I? 😉 😃

So here it is - for your reading pleasure. Enjoy! And please, silent readers, do come out and like/comment.
Part - II

It had been a mistake. An ill-judged move.

Rudra cursed himself in time with the throb of his bike as he rode into the desert night.

He should never have played the Nandini card.

Every now and then his headlamp, cutting a yellow swathe into the darkness, lit up a pair of unblinking eyes as it caught some small animal unawares, stunned into immobility in the face of imminent death. Just like that crazy, stupid girl, at large somewhere in this vast nothingness, unaware that she was one misstep away from ceasing to exist.

He switched to cursing her.

And he, the masterplanner who'd vowed to protect her and keep her safe from the Thakur's murderous men, was on the verge of losing his star witness, his case against the Thakur, his job, and marring his men's honour - all because of his massive miscalculation. And because of her.

Paro!

The bike surged on a roar.

Nothing had gone right since he'd set eyes on her. Every single time he'd been on the verge of victory, only to have it snatched away, to find himself comprehensively and roundly beaten. Every last tactic he'd deployed resulting only in abject failure, pushing him that much closer to complete devastation.

This time, it was Nandini!

He'd been so certain that playing the Nandini card would bring her to her knees, crush her spirit, have her begging to give testimony against the Thakur. He'd waited until she'd softened towards him just a little to tell her, ever so conversationally, about her sister the pawn, cast aside now that she'd fulfilled her use, languishing in some brothel on the other side of the border, pimped by her 'husband' to unnamed men.

And instead of crumbling at his feet, Paro had turned on him. That slip of a girl had told him off; had had the temerity to end the truce with him. As if he cared.

And when this morning, in a last-ditch effort to stop her going on the damned Jhaanki he'd thrown Jija's fate in her face, she'd run away. Slipped out of the haveli when everyone was engrossed in arrangements for the function and vanished. Bapusa had broken the news to him when the search-party turned up nothing at tea-time.

It was dark now. They'd been searching for hours, he and Aman, going from checkpost to checkpost, hunting as unobtrusively as possible. It would never do to let anyone so much as get a whiff of the fact that Paro had not died in the blast but was well and truly alive.

Her life wouldn't be worth her broken mangalsutra if that came out.

The bike jolted over the uneven track without any noticeable slackening of pace.

He had to get to her before they did.

As if on cue his radio crackled into life.

He eased off the throttle, and stuck a leg out against which to brace the machine. It spoke of his long years of practice that he had his service helmet unclipped and the device clapped to his ear in mere seconds.

"Yes, Aman?" his voice was hoarse even though he hadn't used it all that much in the last few hours.

"Where?" He was already revving as the answer reached him.

His "stay out of sight", was swallowed up by the orange cloud as the bike wheeled around and thundered into the night.

---

After all those agonising hours, kilometres of searching, she was ridiculously easy to find. His eyes, so used to spotting trouble in the specks moving on the horizon recognised her at once.

She was huddled into a large-ish lump in the dark lip of a sand dune, facing the barbed wire fence many metres away. He needed no more than the sliver in the sky to make her out. There was no mistaking the crouch, the shape of her head, the slope of her shoulders, the dip of her waist...

He fought the sudden swell of emotion. Fought his almost overwhelming need to grab her, cuff her, drag her back to the haveli and lock her up so tight that she wouldn't even dream of stepping outside, let alone run away.

Now was not the time to come undone. He'd breathe easy when he had her back home unidentified, with no harm done.

He waited until the shaking ceased, until the sudden sweat dried up, until his breathing levelled out, until he was the Major Rudra Pratap Ranawat he knew. More or less.

And then he waited some more. He wanted to bring her in with the least amount of fuss, with as little commotion as possible. Thankfully, she was far enough from the watchtowers that she was out of the sentry's line of sight. But there was still the search-light and they were in a desert - sounds carried, especially in the still of the night.

He'd wait until she'd relaxed her guard a little more, till he was certain he could approach over the sand and gravel without alerting her. He knew this waiting game; was conversant with its sharp corners and its bottomless pits; knew what to do to avoid being lulled into inattentiveness or into sleep; and how to impose the mind over the body to wipe out the stiffness, shake out the cramps, pay no heed to the itches, and the urges. Plus this was Paro he was watching. He settled down.

As waits went, it was his shortest.

She must have eyes in the back of her head, or some sixth sense or...or something. He could have sworn that he hadn't moved, hadn't made a noise, not a whisper, not a crunch, not even the grit of his teeth, but she made him out anyway.

The first inkling he had was when the gentle line of her back, uncovered by any shawl in the cold desert night, straightened. Then she canted her head at an angle and froze like a doe scenting danger. He was halfway to her by the time she swivelled around, his long strides wading through the sand.

He was upon her before she'd taken more than two staggering steps.

It was her hand that he found first. He gripped it and reeled her in. Hard. So that she thudded against his heart, twined against his body, and burrowed into his throat. If he rested his chin on top of her silken head, it was only to secure her. That was also why he wrapped his arms about her, absorbing her into him - her quick panting breaths, the fine tremors, the half-sounds reverberating through his flesh. And if his eyes glistened it was because of the cold night air.

After a moment, he felt her gather herself. Before she could so much as push against him, he had her locked down, her arms twisted behind her back, her wrists captured in an unbreakable hold.

There would be no more running away.

Edited by tvbug2011 - 10 years ago
Navyya thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#45
Superlative writing...My breath caught in my throat as I read on...The intensity was overwhelming, enthralling, incredible...some things are meant to be experienced and felt...And my words would fall short of expressing how I truly feel about this... Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...every line of this update, with special emphasis on the 'waiting' scene is a masterpiece... You are truly a gem and the sheer beauty of your words has left me in awe! Thank you so much for penning this down, and now that you have stepped into the TS world, I hope we see more from you!
A request...pl don't make it just a TS...make it a FF & give us a lot more reading pleasures..
aliyaraj thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#46
Excellent writing! you recreated their intensity and attraction. makes me want to go back and watch some of their earlier scenes. thank you for writing this and please please do continue!!

😊
cheers
Aliya
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Posted: 10 years ago
#47
Excellent part 2

How he makes out her silhouette and how she senses him behind her

How his eyes tear up and yet he blames it on something else

How they stay twined to each other

The magic from the beginning of the show has been recreated

I was wondering from part 1 what taste she had on her lips from before - now I know 😛

Thank you for the 2nd part so soon after the 1st

Keep writing - I loved it 👍🏼
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Posted: 10 years ago
#48

Sabs, That was just amazing.Reliving the initial glory of RR.


You have a very vivid imagination and clarity for thoughts and details. And to add to it you have the art to put down your thoughts and imagination on paper in a way to keep the readers hooked.

(I hope you get what I am saying. I am not so good with words)

So for Rudra, Paro is still the bewakoof ladki, his star witness, the person responsible for the wrongs presently going in his life, the slip of girl who told him off.

This is the Rudra of the initial days and the Rudra we loved.

Rudra needs to find Paro before anyone else. But why ? For his honour or For her life.

I was confused by the line "Her life wouldn't be worth her broken mangalsutra if that came out. "

Up until now Rudra was all thinking about her being a witness, about his job, and honor of his men. But then with this line, it came out as he was more concerned for her life.

Rudra and Paro know each other's presence too well. That was beautifully brought out.

The way you described the catch and hold game - a passion was oozing out of it. Who was Rudra convincing? We all know what Paro's closeness did to him.

With this there was no running away, neither for Rudra, nor for Paro and never for us from the magic that RR created.


Sabs Love you.

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Posted: 10 years ago
#49
Awesome build up. This was more true to Paro's character than what happened in the show. She tried to find out the truth about her sister than just argue with Rudra about it. Waiting for Part III
Lily30 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#50

Loved the part which is actually a prequel👏

My oh my, the intensity
You are one amazing writer🤗
Eager to read more, uff😳😃

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