The most romantic thing on Rangrasiya did not happen yesterday, with the mooch romance, nor will it happen tomorrow, with the shukriya kiss. It happened today, when a conflicted man, about to face his past, acknowledges that he needs help to deal with his pain. Turning, he goes to the car where his wife, his strength, his support, his "paagalpan" is sitting, and he TELLS her this.
Paro's biggest romantic gesture was when her Jallad tells her what importance she has in his life. First---that he can be vulnerable enough in front of her to show her his scars "akele nahi hoga, mujse." Then, and most importantly--he tells her, this ferocious fighter who takes his bullet-shots and knife wounds with a side of whiskey--this man tells her, that hers is the hand he reaches to grab when he grits his teeth through pain---"tu mere sath chal.."
The moochwala romance was wonderful, causing heart palpitations in households worldwide. But even as we giggled and focused on the raw sexuality of the scene---most of us noticed it was out of place. The Major does not DO khullam khulla romance, khule aangan mein. For me, it smacked of, playfulness, sure...but also distraction. And the way a man distracts himself, from having to face the Mala sized hole in his world is--through using his sex appeal. Flirting. Or teasing. This is not just unique to Rudra.
Its straight out of the Male playbook---the Manual on "HOW TO HANDLE IRRITATING WOMEN WHO WONT LEAVE YOU ALONE" that every guy gets on his 12th birthday from some secret macho society. If your boyfriend has ever tried to kiss you to shut you up in the middle of a fight, if your husband has reached for you in the middle of a serious argument, thinking he can seduce his way out of dealing with his feelings. If your brother has suddenly pulled your hair or teased you right in the middle of you nagging him---it has happened to you, too.
Paro-- she saw it. I hate it when people assume she is not a flesh and blood woman, she is not desiring, she is not goddamn blown away by the heated, raw, animalistic power she had looming over her. She was panting as if Usain Bolt has chased her across Rajasthan. But hey, she knows her man. She has claimed this, and she is proving it. And so, she brought him back to the issue he was trying to pretend did not exist. Mala. And his face, when he rolled off of her, and then said, all sulky""I wont speak to her! Don't think you'll make me!!" showed that Rudra knew he'd been caught, too. He was distracting her, and of course, himself. And she said what she needed to say, to make him realize it.
Paro pushes, because with Rudra---that is the only way to get through to him. She knows, with him you either take drastic action, or he'll flatten you and walk away. It took Dilsher falling into a coma to get his son to call him "father". Easygoing, laid-back---Rudra is NOT. With men like this, either you latch on like a dog with a bone and refuse to let go, or you lose the game. Simple. And Paro?? She has latched on since the day she decided she loved him, and would have him and no other. He fought that, though he knew, Paro knew, we knew, he had fallen in love a long time before he actually married her.
Paro is nothing if not consistent in the stubbornness she has displayed. She fought the Jallad, and won. She fought for her love, and won. She fights. She tells the truth, exactly as she sees it. He is being a coward, by running away. She says this. He misses his Maasa, calls for her. She says this. And she does not, (and has never) cared about appropriateness, or even her own safety, when she talks. She says the uncomfortable, mortifying truths that no one else will say. And she repeats the truth, until even Rudra has to acknowledge her words, hear them, act on them. That is her power--- the power of her conviction that she loves and cares for him, and has the right to help him. That is her duty to heal him. She believes that--- and today, we saw, INDISPUTABLY--- so does he.
And whether people mock Paro for thinking of Mala at a romantic moment or not, this is totally consistent with Paro. She is single minded, simplistic, and headstrong. She holds exactly one thought inside her head, at any given time, and plunges through all opposition in her mission. Her mission now is simple, and even Rudra cannot stop her-- her mission is to heal him. To effect a reconciliation between the two people she loves. Mala abandoned Rudra. Rudra hates Mala. So what is the advice of the fan-gurls? Pretend his mother is not there? He should ignore the howling abyss within him, because that would teach her a good lesson? Do we really do this kind of game with loved ones? With ourselves? We might not forgive, but we can at least make peace with pain. And the first step to that--has to be, to talk. To acknowledge the pain.
To move on, you must face facts. We can talk about Rudra's right to make his own choices. He is an adult, blah blah blah.
So?
The job of the wife is, to sometimes, step the hell in, and take some decisions for her man. Men do NOT always make the right decisions for themselves. Rudra has been an independent, completely Paro-free man for the past 8 years. Look at the choices he's made for himself--- Laila, anger, rage, bitterness. He had chosen to be an animal, to be a stone, to be an empty bitter monument to hatred, to death. Who here thinks that's healthy? Paro is making him a man. He faced down two of his pasts...the eight year long mistake Laila, and the 18 year long pain Mala, with Paro firmly by his side. He did not run. No mooch sex made that happen. Paro pushing, insisting, demanding, pouting, ragging at him---that is what did.
And Rudra himself says, over and over. He loves her...AND her zidh. He knows himself, even if his crazy fan-gurls do not. He needs a woman who stands upto him. Who makes choices that Rudra is too stubborn, or too afraid to make--choices like making his mother come back, making him accept his need for her, making him face demons he'd rather not face. He might rant at Paro--but he is not accepting Mala for Paro's sake, even if it helps his ego to growl that at her. He is accepting Mala, for his own salvation. These choices are ones that are needed, but only Paro will do the needful. Rudra can go on pretending otherwise, but he is the one getting healed by her actions, and he knows it. So, today, when he has to face Mala, again, he takes along his strength, his Paro. The ultimate romantic gesture.
That is why Paro pushes. And why, Baisa--sometimes, with your own man-- you should, too.
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