Wonderful and in depth post.
Your right in saying we shouldn't be judging Mala because we don't know what happened all those years ago yet.
I have known a few women to stay in their loveless marriages for the sake of their children and believe you and me no one was happy. Neither the husband, wife and eventually as the kids grew up they could see that their parents weren't happy making them unhappy.
Quite a number of times these kids who have seen what their parents go through mature really quick.
So what Mala did for herself took a lot of courage but your right in saying that she was weak willed.
There could have been many things she could have done but didn't.
What you said about Rudra is so true.
He may hate his mother now but what about in the future.
He may not come to love or trust the woman but he may eventually compromise that whether he likes it not she is his mother.
The one thing I doubt he will ever allow her to do is make decisions on his life or interfere in his life.