WHY Mala Matters ALREADY, and will matter MORE.

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Navya

@Navyya

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: shona_arhilover
I respect your view, navin ji. ...and yours is the post I really look forward to..

I agree with your every point. ,...but still the question is bugging me... a mother can be justified in leaving her son???

should a mother leave her child all broken and wait for some girl to enter her child's life to undo her wrong????

Beautiful !! 👏 NOTHING justifies a mother abandoning her child.

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: sukhminderkaur7
Lovely post. .well described. .but if we look at the other side as mala left her son and never look back but she gave everything to paro even her son's share of love to a strange girl but gave nothing but pain to her own son..cvs I just need this clarification...why she left her son..sorry I don't like her.

I see so many points of resemblance between Paro and Mala, things are getting kind of Oedipux Rex-y for me right now! But going to your point-- I don't think we can absolve Mala of blame. And I DON'T like her, as she is right now. I'm just trying to put her role into perspective, and to explain she is not an unnecessary character --- she is an essential one for Parud.

And frankly for me, the CVs cannot explain away what I see as the most unforgivable thing she has done--leaving her son, with no explanation, for 15 years. I don't blame her for loving the Thakur ( I mean, have you SEEN the Thakur? 😆 )!! She is a woman, she can fall out of love with one man and fall in love with another. It happens in life, even if it shouldn't. Becoming a mother/wife does not mean you wont weaken when faced with potent attraction.

I don't even blame her for leaving Dilsher--the flashbacks of Dilsher as he was when the show started showed a really bitter, mean, drunkenly violent man. He was awful to his son-- he must have done SOMETHING to make his wife leave him and seek another life elsewhere. The jolly, funny, loving Dilsher now is 15 years older, with wisdom to realize his mistakes. The man he used to be when Mala left him also turned his back on his Lakshman-like brother too, lets not forget that. I can understand Mala not loving him, wanting to leave him.

What I don't understand is--hurting your son. Not taking him with you, if you had to leave his father. If you did not know where you were going, if you needed some time to set things up before you came and got your son--why did you not tell him at least, that you leaving is NOT HIS FAULT?That you have to leave his dad? Not HIM? Not telling Rudra that she will disappear one day even though she has planned it already, to not tell him why---its the one horrible thing Mala did I cannot forgive.

To leave a child in such a completely nightmarish manner is unforgivable. If Mala had left a letter that Mohini destroyed, if Mala had told Rudra why she was going so he at least understood it, I could have found it in my heart to accept, if not to forgive, what she has done.

But to have a child, a little boy who worships her run around the Haveli, drinking every glass of milk he can find, to write letter after letter in panic and fear and wretched unhappiness to a mother who never answers him--who he cannot even reach because she didn't tell him where she went-- that imagery is too haunting and too cruel for me to swallow. Mala has a long long road ahead of her, and we the audience will forgive her a LONG time after even Rudra does. The CVs have their work cut out for them.

Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago

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-Zesty-

@-Zesty-

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: JJKKL

I know you are not defending her but the statement in bold is not fair to Dilsher. We cannot put the whole blame on Dilsher. Even Mala cannot. She has to take an equal if not more blame.

Let us say Mala fell in love and left. And did not want to take the kid with her. Fair enough. But shouldn't she have given closure to her husband and kid ?
Let us say DIlsher was a psycho and she was running away - does it not make sense to take the kid with her ?
Let us say Mala made a deal with God and left. Should she then not be pining for her hubby and kid ? Why the life with Thakur ?

And in any of the above cases she should have informed Thakur about her son. Why didn't she ?

I guess we all also need a closure on the story 😉

Yes, we all need a closer to the story..

But the point raised by you is very valid...

lets see you are married...and then you fall in love with other man...our INDIAN constitution as made a thing called DIVORCE...If your love is so powerful that can make you leave your child than go through the legal procedure...divorce your husband, take your child's custody and then live a life filled with love...

So Mala has no right to blame dilsher...whatever he did ...he still was with his child...it was Mala who ran away...so of all that people, Mala has NO right to ask what Dilsher did to her full of life son...

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Maya

@What_the

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#24

After seeing all the Mala-bashing posts, this is a refreshing perspective Navin-sa.

When I read curledup's Disgust OS on Navarasas, it left me with the feeling of a weak, selfish Mala..someone who leaves her child, because she is repulsed by Dilsher's disability...

But it also left me wondering how many people are strong enough to love selflessly in the face of such a situation..

I want to wait and watch to see why Mala left..

Cheers

what_the!

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deep0909

@deep0909

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: ...Pwincess...
There's been many posts on Mala since yesterday but I was wishing that you would post your thoughts as you always blow us away and leave us in awe. Thank you.
You've taken a completely different perspective and made me think. I'm sure there's more to Mala's story than what's been show. Paro will be the thread that binds both Rudra and Mala together.

I thought Rudra would have been angry when he found out that Mala bought Paro up while his upbringing was like hell but he doesn't seem tohate her for it. I know Paro will try to unite them now but the question is whether Mala will be accepted again in the haveli. Now that Dilsher is trying to make peace in the house and trying to explain to Rudra, will he forgive Mala and even if he and Rudra forgive her then Mohini will never let it happen.

I totally agree with the last paragraph in particular, Thakur should definitely be scared. One thing that bugs me is that Thakur says he's doing all this in the name of tradition but from what we've been shown is that he don't have an heir so who is he doing it for. Maybe we've just kit been shown.

Could it be that Rudra is Thakurs son? Rudra and Thakur seem more related than Rudra and Dilsher...

Perhaps Mala was pregnant with Thakurs child when she married Dilsher? So no-one but mala knows this truth?

As per the earlier story told to us. mala did go back to get Rudra. But by then Dilsher had left the haveli and was unreachable

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Swatsu

@Swatsu

Beginner

Posted: 11 years ago

#26

Beautifully written and analysed as usual.Thank you.You simply take us to a completely different level altogether with your brilliant post that I can't just be a silent participant.

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Pramila

@-Pramila-

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#27

such a beautiful post...👏

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: shona_arhilover

Yes, we all need a closer to the story..
But the point raised by you is very valid...
lets see you are married...and then you fall in love with other man...our INDIAN constitution as made a thing called DIVORCE...If your love is so powerful that can make you leave your child than go through the legal procedure...divorce your husband, take your child's custody and then live a life filled with love...

So Mala has no right to blame dilsher...whatever he did ...he still was with his child...it was Mala who ran away...so of all that people, Mala has NO right to ask what Dilsher did to her full of life son...

I am assuming that Mala did not live as the Thakurain for fifteen years in a traditional village like Birpur with a very proud, aristocratic man like the Thakur without being married to him legally. If she has--well, well well... Mala has committed multiple acts of adultery and every time she bows before her God, she has already become a thorough hypocrite. But honestly-- I doubt the CVs would do this to her character.

I cannot NOT blame Dilsher. He blames himself. Rudra blames him. His own actions right now show that he is trying to UNDO damage he has himself caused. Not damage Mala caused, but things he himself poured into his defense-less, vulnerable and shattered son. Things he did, poisonous hatred and distrust he instilled into Rudra because he had no one else around him to use to vent out his anger and hatred for his runaway wife. Every time Rudra cried or was violent as a child, was an opportunity for Dilsher to soothe his son, to tell him he is loved, to tell him to not lose faith, trust in love, in family, trust in Fate and god. TO LESSEN abandonment the child is feeling.

Lets look at what Dilsher has done, as opposed to what he is NOW doing. He wrenches Rudra away from the Haveli, within weeks of Mala leaving them. He takes Rudra away from the only home he has known, leaving behind two brothers, and a baby sister who could have been his family. He removes his loving uncle from Rudra's life- an uncle who would have given Rudra support, unconditional affection, would have been a father even if Dilsher was too broken to do the job himself.

He does not want Rudra to hear Mohini's taunts or the whispers in Chandigarth? Great. he removes his son--and then spends 15 years telling him about khoobsurat auraats and filling him with a twisted hatred and longing for his mother's affection and a rage and bitterness towards life to the point that the son becomes a killing machine.

Are you saying it is only a mother's job to bring up her son or daughter? because I would argue that a father, more than a mother shapes a man's life when he is a teenager, when he is a young adult. Every child clings to their mother AS A CHILD - that is natural and beautiful. But the kind of man you turn out to be as an adult is heavily influenced by the kind of man your father is. For example, men in abusive households where the mother or sisters are victims of domestic violence 9 times out of 10 grown up to be abusive themselves--its a sad, and chillingly true fact.

A father who respects and cherishes the women in his life--who educates his daughters, loves his wife, is kind to his sisters and protective of his women --that father will more than likely have a son who, in turn, respects women, gives them due importance and protects them too.

I am not saying Mala did not start the avalanche that resulted in Rudra. She has been established as a breathtakingly selfish woman, and a bad mother to Rudra--I agree with that assessment. I am saying--Dilsher had the DUTY to take what Mala did to him and his son onto his own chest. He had the "farz" to absorb his anger, bitterness and resentment and still be a father to his son. To give him an upbringing that was normal. He had no right to selfishly indulge in 15 years of grief and bitterness, no right to be abusive to his son, who lost as much as Dilsher did when Mala left, and with far less probable cause.

Rudra was the only innocent one in all this. He, a defenseless child, was first physically abandoned, then emotionally abused, with no other family members left to help him out as he suffered. This happened through his father and mother, both. Through selfishness, on both parts. Let them both pay, by BEING good parents to him now, for what they did not do for him then.

Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago

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Anita

@neet2407

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#29

Wow Navin - another thought-provoking post from you - but I expect no less!

Mala's character I think is the greyest and most interesting of all - if you believe only in black and white it is not possible to understand her at all - she maybe the 'white' caring 'mother-figure' for Paro and 'black' heartless mother who abandoned her son and husband - the truth as always lies in between.

What they have shown so far in RR is Mala having deep regrets over leaving her son and coming back from him after a month and possible guilt when she bumped into Dilsher. She has also admitted she left her son and husband for Teju

What happened after that? What happened before that? Is she a victim of circumstance or a victim of flights of fancy? I do not think i have seen such an interesting character in Indian serials before, with the level of complexity that can be revealed. I really hope the CVs do her justice and allow her complexities to be unveiled.

I liked your take on how Mala is integral to the story and in shaping Rudra and of course Paro - she really is - it would have been all to easy to kill her off as the dead can't answer questions - but alive she can propel the show to another level and show that humans are multiple shades of grey - the question is not even should we forgive or not forgive - should we repent or not repent - but to what level is acceptable for each of us as human beings to forgive or repent.

Did I say how much I am looking forward to this track?