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sairam03

@sairam03

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#351

Never read anything like this about the room and Rudra. It's wonderful.

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Maya

@What_the

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#352

I think you left out a "not" in your note to Sona...

😊

Going to un-res my previous comment now..

---------------------------------------------------

Unres...for Cures...

The title was apt!!

Indeed, he has been cured by her warm, comforting presence in his life..

Again brilliant use of anaphora...another common factor linking these two pieces!!

The room which oscillates from representing secure warmth of mother's love, to nightmarish fear of abandonment...

If it once comforted him as the one place where her presence lingered, it now haunts him to think of returning...

That this room has witnessed to so much of Rudra's anguish is something we all know...but you brought it out beautifully...

And i loved how her arrival changed the meaning this room holds for him...

And i love these sentences:

His prisoner first, his responsibility later.

His wife first, his confidante later.

His friend first, his desire later.

Especially the last one,... No matter how many gutter posts we love making...the pull between Paro and Rudra never started off with the physical aspect...that came much later..

fear of being abandoned is deep rooted in Rudra,, something that choti has also touched on today, in her Navarasa OS on fear...

And for a moment, as I was reading, i gasped, thinking that his nightmare had come true...

But her hand darts out to hold him...to assure him (and also me) that she is right there... 😊 I am a total sucker for happy endings...

Her very breath comforts him like nothing else can...me loves!!

So have you planned a specific number of drabbles for this series...?

Do you have an end in mind for this story..

Or it would be an ongoing one?

Please God, please let it be the latter...

Cheers

Maya

Edited by What_the - 11 years ago

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Meena

@chotidesi

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#353

For me, the best part of your writing happens to be the parallelism you use- I really like how you carry themes throughout your piece, because it flows SO well then. I'm personally partial to this as well, but I don't think I'm nearly as skilled as you are- well done, AT!

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Maya

@What_the

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#354

Unres-ed on page 42 and 47

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lourel24

@lourel24

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#355

"His prisoner first, his responsibility later. His wife first, his confidante later. His friend first, his desire later." . this line was beautiful expressing their developed relationship n feeling at once.loved it

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dumas

@dumas

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#356

loved the update Rae amazing as ever only you can always out do your self even when you brilliant you still find a way loved the emotions the way you describe the scene you that you create in our mind amazing loved that even in her sleep she can still comfort him bring him out of his past loved it thanks for the pm.

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Aruni.

@Aruni.

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#357

Whoa again. I really like how you explained the reason for Rudra's sleeping pose... 😳

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Anita

@neet2407

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#358

Loved both contemplation and Cured!

Contemplation - on the back of a phatphatiya! awesome! loved the way you described her hesitation and her eagerness to hold him and how maybe Rudra sensed it too and decided to show her it was ok by holding her hand bringing it around his waist - tru 'haq'

and Cured - a wonderful description of the room which has seen so much, become warm and cold dependent on how the occupant has been treated and how it swung back to being comforting again as his Paro returns with him - it's like the room breates again as Paro does!

it's amazing that you can make a room express his depth of love for Paro!

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1chilly

@1chilly

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#359

This is just pieces of brilliant writing in the form of drabbles.

I've run out of words to describe how much I love reading these.

The transformation of Rudra and the changes in his relationship with Paro are beautifully described.

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AngelTeen

@AngelTeen

Stunner

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

#360

Originally posted by: Arshi67
A heart wrenching telling of a child's separation from his mother.
It's interesting how we associate memories of people with the physical space they occupied in our lives. His room was clearly where he connected with his mother the most.
His wife is now his desire but is also now the one who is his comforter.

Thank You! Glad that the intention came across :)

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