OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Forgiveness (completed)

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custodian75

@custodian75

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#81

Totally lost for words.

Reading about the army, I felt as though you have a connection with the army. It was very well written.

Horror both are going through was bone chilling. It was as though I was watching it happen in front of my eyes, and some how wanted to stop rudra from letting it continue.

Waiting for the. Next part. Please update soon.

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Aruni.

@Aruni.

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#82

Wow, that was a nightmare. And yes, you managed to scare the hell out of me with jansheem. He is as elaborate and terrifying as a villain out of a good thriller novel (as in Dan Brown's specialized assassins). Ok, now who will teach a lesson to this jerk? By jerk i did not mean jansheem.

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#83

Originally posted by: likeadesigirl
You inspire such conflicting emotions in me, Napster. This part- I will admit- was incredibly difficult for me to read. So difficult. Not because it was bad- not at all- but because you wrote it so well. The cruelty and the pain he inflicts on her contrasts with his slight bending to give her more mercy than a prisoner would normally be given. I was almost crying for Paro as I read this. You are truly a writer- you handle both love and horror with such grace.

Originally posted by: custodian75
Totally lost for words.
Reading about the army, I felt as though you have a connection with the army. It was very well written.

Horror both are going through was bone chilling. It was as though I was watching it happen in front of my eyes, and some how wanted to stop rudra from letting it continue.

Waiting for the. Next part. Please update soon.

Originally posted by: tvbug2011
Beautifully written, Napster. Loved the description of the funerals.

But not pleasant reading at all, I have to say. Made me tense from the moment I knew what awaited Parvati. Had to skip a few of the details. Am surprised she held out for three days considering she'd been starved before. Poor thing! I so hope we see some major tenderness and caring now from Rudra to make up for this torture. Something's gotta give. She ain't. So hoping he will. And sooner.

Waiting for the next part.😊

I am truly sorry for the reaction this inspired in you guys--and yet, that was the exact reaction I was going for, so in a way, I'm kind of relieved, too. You see, when I sat down to write this, I initially wrote a very abridged version of Parvati's experience because I didn't want to freak out my readers. But I felt that was cowardly of me.

I know that the happy-happy-joy-joy form of writing will be more popular. If I wanted 500 plus likes and pages after pages of "so good! excellent! awww! cute!" messages from delighted readers, I could write something on Rudra and Paro similar to my Arnav-Khushi One Shot Homecoming (you can actually read that in my Monstrous Index, if you want a few moments of pure corny lovey-dovey romance! Its quite popular even though it was sappy as hell--- https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/fan-fictions/2933278/ippknd-os-arhi-homecoming)

But this story demands a tougher reader, and a more invested one. I am fine with that, because it gets me people like you, and the other commenters who are here, to talk to and discuss things with, too. Someone who has signed on for RangRasiya did it knowing it dealt with real issues, and real threats. So to my readers, I'd like to remind them--this is Not saas-bahu kitchen politics, not will he-wont-he love stories, but real honest to goodness threats to life and safety. This is a story about the men and women who protect us and how they have to do it, and at what cost to them.

So I chose to re-write the parts that hurt (to write as well, trust me) and that needs to hurt, to make sense of Rudra's patriotism, and what it can cost men like him. They have to do things, things that are not pretty, and that are damn hard to forgive. But they do it for you, and for me.

In a version of someone's eternal words--"paarna hai toh paro!" 😉

Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago

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SherryGS

@SherryGS

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#84

Omg!! I was rooted to my spot reading this piece! I am just stunned at your skill of writing these intense scenes! Bravo!

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himba

@himba

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#85

I think i was reading and holding my breath at the same time! it was bone chilling. I agree with you that RR should be different from the ususal saas bahu sagas---hope they can main tain the story.(unlikely tho with the TRP pressure)

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RebeccaDaphne

@RebeccaDaphne

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#86

Omg...I can't take it any more. Please put Paro out of her misery. 😭

Am waiting for an equally intensifying repentance story soon to get over this one...felt quite unwell reading it but I know this was what you wanted to portray, but it was a big shock to the system, nonetheless it shows you are an incredible writer!

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devsum

@devsum

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#87

OMG>>>it's too good...and makes me regret even more the incomplete ones...

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shagun-rocks

@shagun-rocks

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#88

i'll be honest with you..before i proceed i just want to clarify that i do not intend to offend you in way..i just want to voice my honest opinion after going through this installment...i did not hit the 'like' button because i despised everything that was written..i guess i'm being too harsh, but i don't think, after all the torture that parvati has been subjected to, i can ever warm up to the idea of her falling for this very same jallad..what you have said about jasheem khan is true...there does exist one such psychopath in every armed unit, but to go through each of the words was, well, extremely disturbing...i'm not too sure whether i'll read the final chapter...however i'll definitely go through every other piece of work of yours...you are one of my favourite writers..it's just that i am not someone who can digest this amount of violence in any form of art- whether in films/ television shows or any write-ups...

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#89

Originally posted by: shagun-rocks
i'll be honest with you..before i proceed i just want to clarify that i do not intend to offend you in way..i just want to voice my honest opinion after going through this installment...i did not hit the 'like' button because i despised everything that was written..i guess i'm being too harsh, but i don't think, after all the torture that parvati has been subjected to, i can ever warm up to the idea of her falling for this very same jallad..what you have said about jasheem khan is true...there does exist one such psychopath in every armed unit, but to go through each of the words was, well, extremely disturbing...i'm not too sure whether i'll read the final chapter...however i'll definitely go through every other piece of work of yours...you are one of my favourite writers..it's just that i am not someone who can digest this amount of violence in any form of art- whether in films/ television shows or any write-ups...

THANK YOU! An honest opinion, one which makes me think, I HAVE to write more, to get feedback from Shagun that will make her feel better! I will have to try and see if I have it in me to give some redemption to the man I've created--one way or the other, its a challenge, and one I am going to do my very best to achieve!

I am not at all offended--you need to see the smile on my face right now---because I want to know your visceral reaction, and how far I can go, before swerving the boat back into calmer waters.

I don't know if you should or shouldn't read Part 3 of Forgiveness, though I do hope you will, if only to see Rudra's fall--I will be closing the loop on what has happened with Parvati in this episode with what I hope will be the first salvo to end the frozen, cruel Jallad that is Rudra right now. But please do read Yesterday and Tomorrow: Part 11, Redemption (appropriately titled, I hope). That will be this weekend's post, and in it i'll try to make up for the anger and disgust you are feeling right now.

Once again, dont know if the violence of this piece will fade for you--but I am glad to have your honest feedback, and you real take. More importantly, I am glad I know who I have to keep in mind as I work on Part 3, on the off chance she reads it...