The Widow Etiquette - Page 8

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Tangy, I disagree. The scene you found lacking is one of the scens I really liked in the show so far.

It showed that even in the face of adversity Paro can find happiness in something so small. And it is quite consistent with her character too. As a child Paro gave her doll and smiled at Rudra even after losing her parents.

I think those 2 scenes define Pari for me.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Tangy, I disagree. The scene you found lacking is one of the scens I really liked in the show so far.

It showed that even in the face of adversity Paro can find happiness in something so small. And it is quite consistent with her character too. As a child Paro gave her doll and smiled at Rudra even after losing her parents.

I think those 2 scenes define Pari for me.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Hi NB i hope my post doesnt offend any1 here. While i personally dont like these regressive ideas & humiliating rituals tat a widow has to go thru i do ve a query to the CVs. All said & done Paro is supposed to b an innocent village girl who spent her entire life in a small hamlet in a remote part of India. So based on her upbringing & the environment she grew up in i do find it a tad unrealistic tat she is fine with staying in the same room as a stranger, wearing colorful dresses & wearing red bindi.

Plz dont get me wrong. I am not saying she should not do it. She has every right to live life her way & laugh & enjoy the little joys as they come her way. But considering her background i feel tat her acceptance of her current circumstance mayb a little surprising!

I once again hope i dint offend any1 by tis post esp any1 who has lost their loved ones!

Originally posted by: Angels11

Hi NB i hope my post doesnt offend any1 here. While i personally dont like these regressive ideas & humiliating rituals tat a widow has to go thru i do ve a query to the CVs. All said & done Paro is supposed to b an innocent village girl who spent her entire life in a small hamlet in a remote part of India. So based on her upbringing & the environment she grew up in i do find it a tad unrealistic tat she is fine with staying in the same room as a stranger, wearing colorful dresses & wearing red bindi.

Plz dont get me wrong. I am not saying she should not do it. She has every right to live life her way & laugh & enjoy the little joys as they come her way. But considering her background i feel tat her acceptance of her current circumstance mayb a little surprising!

I once again hope i dint offend any1 by tis post esp any1 who has lost their loved ones!

Originally posted by: Angels11

Hi NB i hope my post doesnt offend any1 here. While i personally dont like these regressive ideas & humiliating rituals tat a widow has to go thru i do ve a query to the CVs. All said & done Paro is supposed to b an innocent village girl who spent her entire life in a small hamlet in a remote part of India. So based on her upbringing & the environment she grew up in i do find it a tad unrealistic tat she is fine with staying in the same room as a stranger, wearing colorful dresses & wearing red bindi.

Plz dont get me wrong. I am not saying she should not do it. She has every right to live life her way & laugh & enjoy the little joys as they come her way. But considering her background i feel tat her acceptance of her current circumstance mayb a little surprising!

I once again hope i dint offend any1 by tis post esp any1 who has lost their loved ones!

Why would I get offended?

She is helpless and dependant on others for every small thing. Plus all these rituals are normally carried out and insisted by the elder women in the house. She is not home, and no one except for Rudra and his father know that she is a widow. So logically it would not make sense.

I have nothing to say coz when it comes to portrayal of a woman's emotional turmoil, confusion and acceptance, Indian television goes deliriously political...all talks no action.

Though the reality of a Widow etiquette depends upon:
1). If there are people guiding a widow into widow-ship(all cultures have different ways).[Paro has no one and well I don't think , people impart this knowledge to new brides while giving birds n bees speech]

2). A widow who truly lost that man with whom she had a life will mourn which ever way she takes it.( Here Paro just had a virtual life with Varun, she never experienced it, so she has very little or no knowledge of what she has lost, coz she never had it in the first place.)


3). Im very inadequate in this field of knowledge wont say much.


baaki the only thing I want back is Paro's hatred, the way she considered and called Rudra 'Jallaad' back coz if not then all this, these days look like she's so cordial with him, all respect and docile that I may just skip a week of the show and come back to see them singing "maare hiwda maa naache morrr."

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Why would I get offended?

She is helpless and dependant on others for every small thing. Plus all these rituals are normally carried out and insisted by the elder women in the house. She is not home, and no one except for Rudra and his father know that she is a widow. So logically it would not make sense.

Again i need 2 disagree with u & CravingKhana. Yes i get tat she is helpless, caught in a crazy situation. Forget bt Paro even a city gal like me ll yell & kick the guy in his balls if he forces me 2 share a room with him. And somehow tat scene dint strike a chord with me. yes she tossed & turned but the scene dint capture the fear & myriad emotions tat a girl like Paro must b undergoing in such situation. They c'd ve shown her refusing 2 sleep & stick herself 2 the farthest corner & finally doze off. Where is the fear & hatred. Not sure if its bad writing or bad direction. But believe me a girl in Paro's situation rural or urban, uneducated or suave ll not behave like tis. SI is a good actress. So the director c'd ve got more frm her. I want tat raw fear & misplaced hatred 2 show in Paro. I want her 2 roar in fury, scratch Rudra, yell, scream, throw things. This placid war of words is not wat i ll expect!

Originally posted by: Angels11

Again i need 2 disagree with u & CravingKhana. Yes i get tat she is helpless, caught in a crazy situation. Forget bt Paro even a city gal like me ll yell & kick the guy in his balls if he forces me 2 share a room with him. And somehow tat scene dint strike a chord with me. yes she tossed & turned but the scene dint capture the fear & myriad emotions tat a girl like Paro must b undergoing in such situation. They c'd ve shown her refusing 2 sleep & stick herself 2 the farthest corner & finally doze off. Where is the fear & hatred. Not sure if its bad writing or bad direction. But believe me a girl in Paro's situation rural or urban, uneducated or suave ll not behave like tis. SI is a good actress. So the director c'd ve got more frm her. I want tat raw fear & misplaced hatred 2 show in Paro. I want her 2 roar in fury, scratch Rudra, yell, scream, throw things. This placid war of words is not wat i ll expect!

Originally posted by: CravingKhana

Hey Angel I agree in that the execution has fallen way short...not that i would want a screaming kicking Paro, even a subdued one would do...but i whichever the personality her hopelessness has still not been conveyed to me...

N for me its the screen play the direction and the actress...

Exactly & tats where i find issue with the characterization of Paro & the execution of her scenes. As i said i want to feel tat fear of being kidnapped by a stranger, the helplessness of unable 2 escape, the loneliness of being disowned by her dear ones, the hatred for a man who killed her husband & out of all this the resolve to fight it out & live. This is currently missing & tats where i am unable to feel any empathy towards Paro. There is a beautiful subplot in the tamil movie thalapathy by my fav director maniratnam where a girl is forced 2 marry the guy (Rajinikanth) who killed her husband. The way their relationship is portrayed is extremely sensitive & believable. Similarly the movie Last Samurai where Tom Cruise ends up falling for the wife of the warrior he killed.

A sad story of bad screenplay & direction. I am still willing 2 give more time to the CVs & c if they can improve in the coming episodes.

NB...very good post...