FF-meri padosi...updated part 17 A on page 51... - Page 9

"you are beautiful Khanak" he said still looking into her eyes…

"your eyes are beautiful…and…." He lowered his gaze towards her lips…"and" he repeated as if finding words…his grip on her waist tightened as he pulled her face closer to his…he lowered his head a little…bringing his lips closer to her…

Khanak could feel his breath mingling with hers…her heart beat increased…

In anticipation she slowly closed her eyes.

"and" Shaan said taking a deep breath…he was quiet for a moment as if thinking something…slowly he loosened his grip on her waist, took a step backwards…"its getting late, we need to leave"

Khanak opened her eyes…coming back to reality…she was still breathing heavily…she looked up at Shaan who was looking back at her…he didn't have any hint of smile on his face…he was looking at her intensely…

"what was she about to do just now?" she thought. "Was she going to kiss him?…kiss Shaan, who she had met just a couple of days before…what was wrong with her…she never got comfortable with people so easily…but with Shaan why did she just surrender?

She could not believe what happened minutes before…

Without looking at him…she started to walk…Shaan didn't say anything but just followed her…

……………………………………………………………

Their whole ride back home…both of them were silent…Khanak kept looking out of the window while Shaan concentrated solely on his driving. Khanak was still shocked at her behaviour "How could she do this?"she kept on thinking…

Shaan knew what she was thinking…he knew she was disappointed with herself…he wanted to tell her it was not her mistake and to not blame herself…but he kept silent…he didn't want to make things even more awkward for her…he wanted to give her some time to analyze things herself…

They reached their building…both of them still hadn't talked to eachother…Khanak because she was still shocked and Shaan because he wanted to give her some space…

They reached their floor and Khanak turned to leave…when Shaan finally spoke.

Shaan: Khanak, listen I m sorry…main…(she cuts him)

Khanak: U don't have to say sorry Shaan…u weren't at mistake…(Shaan was confused)…its me…main galat thi.

Shaan: Khanak ye tum....(she cuts him again)

Khanak: main hamesha se galat thi…( she broke and sat down on her knees… dug her face into her hands as she cried)…I was always wrong…always….

Shaan wanted to hug her,console her,tell her she wasn't at fault…but he felt himself scarred from touching her…she might again feel bad he thought.

(she began again)…he was right…he was always right…I m not a good person…I can never be a good person…never…

Shaan couldn't take this anymore and held her by her shoulders…she still held her face in her hands…

Shaan: Khanak…what are you talking about..? who says you are not a good person..? and why are you thinking this way? ..just because…(he paused for a while and spoke again)…just because you felt attracted to me for a moment… that doesn't make you a bad person…its natural Khanak…you are a human being…not God…(he spoke after a while)

Khanak didn't speak anything…she was still crying…and he let her cry…after a while she finally composed herself…

Khanak: I am a human being who ruins people's lives…(she finally looked at him her voice was stern…her eyes depicting guilt)

She wiped her tears got up and left…leaving Shaan even more disturbed…

"What is it with you Miss.Khanak Kapoor? Why do u blame yourself? Why are you so scared to stand for yourself?I m going to find that out …I cannot be wrong…u are not a bad person…you can never hurt anyone…never…and I m going to make you realize that …that's my promise to u…" (he smiled)

……………………………………………………

Khanak composed herself brought a smile on her face as she entered her house…she opened the door herself as she did not want to face her Mom so soon…Mrs.Kapoor heard her entering…

Mrs.Kapoor: aree beta aa gayi tum…toh batao kaisi thi tumhari party?

Khanak: (not meeting her eyes) it was nice mamma..

Mrs.Kapoor: kya kiya tum don one aur….(she cuts her)

Khanak: mamma main thodi thak gayi hoon…hum kal baat karte hain…

Mrs.Kapoor: thik hain beta jaisa tum chaho…

Khanak did not listen to what her Mom was saying and went to her room…she closed the door behind her and headed to the washroom…she splashed cold water on her face as she slowly began to calm down…she changed and straight away decided to go to sleep…she didn't want to think about anything right now…

Khanak took a few deep breaths as she closed her eyes to shut herself from the outside world…but was unable to do so…her mind kept on thinking about things she wanted to forget…she kept on remembering her past…her pain…

As if giving up, Khanak got up…she opened her cup-board and took out a photograph…

The photograph was a little faded…she looked at the person in it as she clearly remembered what he said …

"Tumse ghatiya aurat is duniya main koi nahi hain Khanak…aurat toh ghar basati hain…lekin tumne Ghar ujaada hain…jis din tum meri jindagi main ayi thi…woh din meri zindagi ka sabse manhoos din tha…sabse manhoos…tum uss…………………"

Khanak closed her eyes as she didn't want to remember what he had said further…she didn't know when but she had began to weep…

She sat down against the cupboard as she folded her arms around her knees and cried…she wanted to let out all the pain she was helding within herselves…

Khanak had never talked about it to anyone…she had never shared her pain as she never felt the need to…but today she did…she wanted to let go off the burden…she was tired…her heart was heavy…she wanted to ease the burden…ease her pain…just then she heard her phone beep…

It was a message from Shaan…

"I am sorry Khanak…I really am…don't be upset because of me…

U look beautiful when you smile…so please keep smiling…"