OS - Updated on page 8 - Having The Last Word

The_May_Rose thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#1
Contents
Page I - Even Half The Truth Is Enough
Page 5 - The Heart Of The Matter - https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/34435730
Page 8 -Shaadi OS / Having The Last Word - https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/34578936
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Even Half The Truth Is Enough
(After the dinner pre-cap)
'Khanak please mein bohat tuhk gaya hoon, ab mujme patience nahi , in sub baateo ke liye,' exclaimed Shaan in his usaul tone.....
'Par apne hi toh kaha tah ke dosti mein such aur barosa zarori hota hai...Aur jub mein bolna chati hoon tub aap sunte nahi.' Time was running out and Khanak realised she couln't wait any longer, she had to speak to Shantanu now....
'Abhi to tum kehrahi thi ke, tumhari unkahi baat mujhe samujni chahiye, aab kya howa?....Aur tum yeh dosti ka jarp kab bund karogi?'
'Apne koshish hi nahi ki, meri kyoi bhi baat sumjhne ki...Aur yeh kab tak chalega...Aur waise bhi, kisne kaha patti patni ache dost bhi nahi hosakte?'
Shaan was taken a back for a moment....'She had a point,' thought Shaan ' We can be friends too...Shaan, don't let her twist you with her words....Remember she still hasn't answers your questions '
'Toh teek hai, tum mere sawalo ka jawab dedo, phir dekte hai'....
Khanak was perpared for this, the conversation had played out in her mind a thousand times...Now was the ultimate test...Would Shaan accept this truth, or this version of it....Khanak prayed for strength and she told herself she was doing this for Shantanu and she was not lieing so it was okay.....' Khanak tujhe apne haq ke liye larna hai, par is ke liye tuh Shatanu aur Mummy-Ji ke beech mein tanao nahi la sakti...Akri woh unki Maa hai....Yehi teek hai, Shantanu ko unke sawal ka jawab mill jaya ga, aur, unko pata nahi khale ga ke, unki apni Maa ne unke saat dokha kiya.....
'Khanak?...Kya huwa, nahi bol sakti?'
'Aap ka phela sawal....'
'Tum letter par kar kyon nahi aayi...'
'Meine kaha tah na Shantanu mein aayi thi.....Aur aap ka dora sawal.....'
'Tumne Natasha ko waha kyon bejah....'
'Meine Natasha Ji ko aapke paas nahi bejah....'
'Oh come on Khanak, toh phir Natasha waha kaise aayi?'
At this point Khanak did not want to lie so she repeated....
'Meine Natasha Ji ko nahi bejah....' Before he could start with a barage of quetions she continued....She told him about Gopi finding the letter and how she thought it might have been for Natasha and how Gopi convinced her otherwise....How Dadi told her she had to give their relationship a chance....She told him how much she feared breaking again and getting her hopes up....How precious their friendship was to her and she feared to loose it....She explained how overjoyed she was, to see what he had prepared at the cafe....How much his words ment to her, how she felt the same things he felt and that when he asked for her hand she freely gave it.....
All this time Shaan's face flickered with a variety of emotions, echoing each sentiment from Khanak lips.....She then came to the part when Natasha exteneded her hand and how Shaan put the ring on her finger...To which Shaan replied....
'Mujhe lag ke tum thi Khanak, woh sub tumhare liye tah'
'Hain ab jaanti ho par us waqt, aap ki kamaoshi, phir Natasha Ji ke sawal ki waja se...Mujhe laga ke mein galat thi...'
Khanak explained that she didn't know what to do, she felt confused because she was sure his words were for her, but when he didn't say anything to correct Natasha's mis-understanding she thought she was wrong....And she couldn't bare to stay there, because she felt so bad.....
'Jab mein ghar gayi, toh meine socha ke mein kum se kum. ek achi dost toh bun sakti hoon....Is liye meine aapke samne aapne dill ki baat chupayi'
'Kyon si baat Khanak?' Shaan asked taking a step closer to Khanak......
'Yahi ke mujhe bohat bora laga ke aapne Natasha Ji se sagayi karli...Aur meine apna dost kordiya, aur mein aapse dur chali jawogi, aur mujhe aapki bhohat yaad aaye gi, aur aur.....
'Aur kya Khanak?'
'Aur aap...Mein aapkse....Meri paatshaala....'
'Oh right, tum isleye itni upset thi, kyunki tumri paatshala bund honewali thi....Now I get it...' Shaan smiled.....
'Aap mera mazak ora rahe hai?'
'Nahi,Khanak.....Mein...Mujhe, woh...Umm...Jo howa woh ab sumjh ah gaaya....Mera matlab tum ne Natasaha ko wahan nahi behjah....'
'Meri toh kuch samaj mein nahi aaraha tah ke kyun aap itne naraz hai...Phir dere dere mujhe baat sumajme aayi....Ke aap nahi chateh ke mein jawo....Isliye, aapne woh sari batein mujhe sunayi....'
Khanak knew this was a lie and it was thanks to Mummy Ji that she knew the truth, but she couldn't tell Shantanu this.....She told him this made her hope and think back to the words of love he spoke and that they were for her....And that she wanted to give their marriage a second chance, just like he did....And how she remembered back to all the moments that they had shared....
As she spoke, Shaan could not believe what he was hearing, so she did come and she had heard his words and but Natasha's presense had confused her...She loved him too he was sure of that....But why was Natasha there, maybe she overheard him talkng about his plans on the phone and asumed thats where he wanted to talk...So it was his fault?...But I never told Natasha to come there, so how?....And what were the whole family doing there?...Why did Mum, say Khanak wanted him to be with Natasha......
'Shantanu?.....' Khanak's voice broke into Shaan's thoughts....He would have to think about how it happened later...Right now Khanak was the most important thing....So she hadn't rejected his love....They were both victims of circumstances and now it was time to put things right....
'Khanak ...' before he could go further there was a knock at the door....To Shaan's growing annoyance, it was the manager, asking them to vacate the room, as someone had reserved it earliar.....He didn't have a chance to argue because, the manager told them, there had been a mistake in their origanal booking and that they had been upgrading to the honeymoon suite....This turn of events were due to the games being played by Mr & Mrs Senior Khandelwal....
Shantanu was overjoyed and decide to do something special for Khanak...Ice-cream or dessert seemed like a good idea, since their dinner had been a disaster thanks to him....So he went to order the surprise himself and he also wanted to give the manager a peice of his mind regarding the room situation...From now on things would be perfect and he would use this time to make things right with Khanak.....
Khanak felt a huge weight had left her heart and soul.....She had furfilled her promise to get Shantanu back, but there were many issues once they got home...But tonight she was just glad she had her friend and husband back....And yes her love too, she saw that in his eyes....She felt relieved but suprisingly exhausted too, it had been a long a eventfull day....She wanted to wait till Shaan came back, but, as she waited she felt sleep overtake her.....When Shaan came back he found her fast asleep....
'So much for my surprise ' he thought....There was so much he wanted to say to her...But it could wait, not wonder she was tired, she had ran after him for most of the day, the pagali.....He was just glad things were on the mend.....He canceled the desert and decided to call it a night too... Tomorrow they had to sign the contract and then face going home....Oh well, this was bound to happen....No matter what he thought Khanak did, he should never have agreed to the engagement.....As he waited for sleep to come, he watched Khanak sleeping and wished he could keep looking at her forever....Time to face the music he thought, but he had Khanak and that's all that mattered.....
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(Sorry for any mistakes with the language or logic....This is my first atempt with RBO and probubly my last😆.....Made me realise why most of my ideas never see the light of day.....I am fine when it comes to the general story, detail and dailogue is always a problem for me....Just wanted something like this to clear the air between ShaNak...And still leave room for a proper confession and lots of loose ends😊)
Edited by The_May_Rose - 14 years ago

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garfield1209 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#2

Great work👏..Loved the dialogues,way the scene unfolds and the ending.Just left me content after reading it ..yes Indeed even half truth is enough..

Dont what is going to happen but I hope this is what actually happens ..I could so imagine the scene playing in front of me....the sequence of events was such nicely put...It was so Shanak , the hinglish,shaan's thoughts to himself and khanak's way of saying the truth enough to pacify Shaan but not create troubles...and the last scene where he finds her exhausted and sleeping was cute ..
A awesome first one and hope its not last ..😊..
Just wanted something like this to clear the air between ShaNak...And still leave room for a proper confession and lots of loose ends😊
Yes something like this would leave room open for wooing from both sides..
My fav line: 'Shaan, don't let her twist you with her words....Remember she still hasn't answers your questions '
Edited by priya1209 - 14 years ago
The_May_Rose thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: priya1209

Great work👏..Loved the dialogues,way the scene unfolds and the ending.Just left me content after reading it ..yes Indeed even half truth is enough..
Dont what is going to happen but I hope this is what actually happens ..I could so imagine the scene playing in front of me....the sequence of events was such nicely put...It was so Shanak , the hinglish,shaan's thoughts to himself and khanak's way of saying the truth enough to pacify Shaan but not create troubles...and the last scene where he finds her exhausted and sleeping was cute ..
This is my first atempt and probubly my last😆....
A awesome first one and hope its not last ..😊..
Just wanted something like this to clear the air between ShaNak...And still leave room for a proper confession and lots of loose ends😊
Yes something like this would leave room open for wooing from both sides..
My fav line: 'Shaan, don't let her twist you with her words....Remember she still hasn't answers your questions '

Thanks for the compliment Priya😳....Go get some rest and will see you tomorrow....
Btw I edited the footnote....Becuase I remembered I did write some short scene ideas in the PKB forum and furture tracks idea too....But FF and long write-ups are difficult....This one took me hours😆
Edited by The_May_Rose - 14 years ago
sabihaa. thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#4
But May, it was sooo cute.
& don't say it'll be your last attempt.
Are you crazy?

I'm hoping ShaNak's convo will be some sort of understanding - maybe he'll realise on his own that Khanak didn't send Tash there... but why Tash was there, he'll have to find out from his dear mummyji. (Blah. LOL.)

Please write more.

<3

The_May_Rose thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: -saBii-

But May, it was sooo cute.
& don't say it'll be your last attempt.
Are you crazy?

I'm hoping ShaNak's convo will be some sort of understanding - maybe he'll realise on his own that Khanak didn't send Tash there... but why Tash was there, he'll have to find out from his dear mummyji. (Blah. LOL.)

Please write more.

<3

Thanks Sabbi 😊......Okay I won't say last atempt, but the next one might take a long time coming😆.....
Edited by The_May_Rose - 14 years ago
Vistaa thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#6
👏👏👏👏👏🥳🥳👏👏👏👏
Mayyyyyyyy..............🤗🤗
You did it.............yay...........your ideas and future track suggestions had all along promised that you are a great writer and finally , you did it.................muwah, muwah...and this is not the last time...I absolutely forbid it😃😃😃.....such a sweet piece...just like you are. Will be waiting for more.....😊
The_May_Rose thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: vista90pro

👏👏👏👏👏🥳🥳👏👏👏👏

Mayyyyyyyy..............🤗🤗
You did it.............yay...........your ideas and future track suggestions had all along promised that you are a great writer and finally , you did it.................muwah, muwah...and this is not the last time...I absolutely forbid it😃😃😃.....such a sweet piece...just like you are. Will be waiting for more.....😊

😳😳😳Awww!....Praise from the master story writer herself😳😳😃...Thanks Vista🤗, but I find the writing process difficult at times and it takes a long time to do.....Makes me realise how hard story writers must have to work....
Will try my best, if the inspiration comes, I will write....This was just a one-shot for the current track😊.......
Edited by The_May_Rose - 14 years ago
Sid4TeamCanada thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#8
MAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! LOVEEDD IT!

ok i don't read OS's at all.. for one, i don't even know what an OS exactly is🤣 *embarrassed blush*... per i think now its some kind of possible sequence (on the lines of ff) that cud follow the previous episode??

lol..per this is the first time i actually read an OS..😃

whtever it is, oeye chak de phatte.. i usually do not read OS's or Fanfics cuz i can't relate the characters in fanfics to the original characters of the show.. mainly becuz i guess poora show mein we are used to ourselves comprehending emotions of the characters, and this makes shows diff. than novels... but while reading ff's i feel as if i am reading a novel - and since i ONLY read english novels, ff's make me think of those kinda western stories and the english hero heroine context, and thus i don't usually find it easy to see our desi couples in a english novel kinda context...😳 lol its wierd to explain.. but i guess yea the bottom line is i find it hard to relate the protagnosts in fanfics / or OS's to the actual couple...

PERRR...PERR...PERR: i LOVED UR OS! i didn't feel at all thatt this WEREN'T the shanak i love.. u had such a good grasp of the characters ... and such perfect dialogues... anddd really realistic and light si ending.. loved it ;)

i guesss i will now start reading OS's ;).. since i know how amazing every1 on this forum is, and many sabki itni tareefein suni hain... so m gonna defo check out all ur OS's ppl! :) (beeni u listening?? :P )

keeep it up may ji... zabardast ! :)

and yes, half the truth is DEFINITELY enuff... anything that wud basically clear his confusion ABOUT HER!😃😳
Edited by Sid4TeamCanada - 14 years ago
The_May_Rose thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: Sid4TeamCanada

MAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! LOVEEDD IT!

ok i don't read OS's at all.. for one, i don't even know what an OS exactly is🤣 *embarrassed blush*... per i think now its some kind of possible sequence (on the lines of ff) that cud follow the previous episode??

lol..per this is the first time i actually read an OS..😃

whtever it is, oeye chak de phatte.. i usually do not read OS's or Fanfics cuz i can't relate the characters in fanfics to the original characters of the show.. mainly becuz i guess poora show mein we are used to ourselves comprehending emotions of the characters, and this makes shows diff. than novels... but while reading ff's i feel as if i am reading a novel - and since i ONLY read english novels, ff's make me think of those kinda western stories and the english hero heroine context, with all that written description, and thus i don't usually find it easy to see our couple in a english novel kinda context...😳

PERRR...PERR...PERR: i LOVED UR OS! i didn't feel at all thatt this WEREN'T the shanak i love.. u had such a good grasp of the characters ... and such perfect dialogues... anddd really realistic and light si ending.. loved it ;)

i guesss i will now start reading OS's ;).. since i know how amazing every1 on this forum is, and many sabki itni tareefein suni hain... so m gonna defo check out all ur OS's ppl! :) (beeni u listening?? :P )

keeep it up may ji... zabardast ! :)

and yes, half the truth is DEFINITELY enuff... anything that wud basically clear his confusion ABOUT HER!😃😳

Oh Sidru, thank youEmbarrassed.....All of you are so sweet and encouraging😊....OS means one-shot....The way I understood it was same as you....Short piece of writing, related to the current track.....I just pictured this scene and had to write it......
Edited by The_May_Rose - 14 years ago
MFRanjini thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#10
Loved it May, it is your first OS? doesn't seem👏

Loved the title, specially this line:

Just wanted something like this to clear the air between ShaNak...And still leave room for a proper confession and lots of loose ends😊

But I have one thing to say.....Shaan knows it was not Khanak's fault but now he will investigate and he will find out the truth......I don't think Khanak wants that....that's why she is not telling a single word.....she doesn't want Shaan to hate his mother............I know I am one of them who was not happy with Khanak being "chupchap".....but I think she is right.......but I really don't know how she is going to win Shaan's trust......Shaan has to know about the truth but from other sources.

This is definitely not your last OS May, I love the logic you use, the way you try to solve the situations and your language is also very easy to understand😃

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