Part B
His eyes widened, misha stood in front of him with tears in her eyes... he cursed himself for making her cry, whatever must be his feelings for her doesn't change the fact that he is going to marry her and as the reality hit him, he felt a shiver ran down his spine... this is all going from bad to worst...this was the least he expected to happen just when he realized about his love for zoya and just when he was getting married he had to realize it...
Misha took baby steps to him, dressed in a simple yellow colour shalwar kameez and her head a little covered with a duppata...earing and bangals made with flowers complementing her beauty... she now stood in front of him and he watched as she wiped away her tears slightly and ran a quick glance at him from head to toe
'aunty called a while back asking are you with me...I was so worried so just came to check if you are ohkay' she informed and a lump formed in his throat as he tried to say something but nothing he say will make any difference to her...
'I know you are at loss of words asad...but you know what it's better if you don't really say anything...' she sobbed and he looked down feeling more guilty then earlier...
'when I was leaving to check on you ami stopped me, she even told me that it's not considered good if a bride goes out of her parents home just a night before nikah... and may be there must be some back story which made ami stop me but I told her that more than anything it's you who is important and also I was feeling restless since morning...you were even rejecting my calls and I was being ignored' she said as tears rolled down her cheeks
'Misha I...' he started but she cut him off
'shh please asad, listen to me for the last time... you know aunty is right, pyaar dobara hosakta hai lekin sacha pyaar sirf ek baar hi hota hai or jab hume hamara sacha pyaar mil jae to usse jana nahe dena chahie kyun ke uske dur hone se bohat takleef hoti, or shayad is dard ko aaj mujhse behtar koi nahe samajh sakta...' she whispered at the end
'I can't marry you asad, not anymore, you are my true love but still I know neither you nor I would be happy with this compromise so it's better that we part aways...
you always will be priya's sahil but there is nothing else in between us...' she said and turned to leave when he held her hand stopping her, she turned her head down, he made her look up at him and wiped away her tears
'I am sorry misha...I am really sorry...I messed it all... I have for the first time realized that how it feels to loose your true love because zoya may never forgive me and you are also hurt because of me... please forgive me...' he pleaded, she cried out aloud, he pulled her in a hug to console her ... she cried for her broken heart and he cried with her
Zoya was wide awake whole night, this night was one of the worst night she had ever had in past ten years...after all going through the same pain she had been living with since years isn't easy, in fact it's unbearable, this pain and suffering brings a person to such path where there is no going back to the life when there was no pain, no suffering and no love... all was good but did not remain that way
She did not cry aloud, but her heart was bleeding, in past 10 years, she was away from him yet she was aware about him, she was happy for him yet she had build a wall around her stopping herself from loving him anymore after all he was never her's... and obviously nothing can bring him to her
She remembered that it was nikah today and she wished the best for him still she decided to let her workers handle the rukhsati and reception and she will keep a check over everything through phone...she got up and went to take bath, after which she offered her namaz , she was still seating on her mat to make dua when someone knocked 'come in' her maid entered with some book in her hand...
'zoya baji, I found it on the bench in garden.. ' she said and handed her what seemed like a dairy...zoya took it and nodded at her to leave... she went while zoya sat there starring at the diary not knowing to whom it belongs... at last she opened it and her eyes widened, she can still recognize asad's handwriting and moreover 'to my zombiee' written there indicated that this belongs to her, given by him...her best friend
She turned to page 1 and then couldn't stop from turning next and next... tears rolled down her cheeks... he had filled this diary with their memories...it was obvious with the dates that he hadn't done it on daily bases but occasionally, there were messages by him on how sorry he was and how much he was missing his best friend and how he feels that she will be back one day and he is waiting for her ...for his zombie, for his best friends...she was overwhelmed knowing that he missed her, that he was actually guilty since always and that he wanted her to come back but still something pained deep down in her heart, it was the fact that even after all these years of separation he never fell in love with her and there could be everything but love between them
Keeping the diary aside she joined her hands to make dua, she did not want to cry, but she ended up crying in her dua covering her face with her hands, she sobbed as everything that happened in the last 24 hours was to much for her...it was hurting her and she was turning weak due to it 'It hurts a lot...a lot' she whispered still with her face covered
'then let me heal you ...zoya' she heard him and for a moment she felt that she is hallucinating but still she removed her hands and it was indeed him, sitting in front of her, very close, his eyes moistened and his expression, it was difficult for her to read them...
She starred at him for a moment before realization dawn on her and she stood up abruptly, 'what are you doing here asad...it's your nikah today, you are at a wrong place' she told him turning to the other side...he didn't say anything in return, in fact he came and stood in front of her
'I am at the right place zoya, this is where I belong...with you' he whispered and her eyes brimmed with fresh tears, his words and he doesn't seem real and she could not do anything but love him more, she felt weaker then ever to even push him away, her heart and her feelings had over powered her
He cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears 'zoya...I know my mistakes, they are unforgivable and I can't take back my words neither undo my actions ... in short I can't change our past but I am very ashamed over it...I even know that just accepting my sin and asking mere sorry doesn't justify my cruelties yet I want to do it. ..I am really sorry zoya for everything I said, I did and for everytime I hurted you beyond repair...I am really sorry zoya...I am the worst friend ever...and I don't even deserve your love knowing the amount of pain and longingness I have given you...
I should suffer and I am suffering, but zoya I still want you to be happy...zoya I want to heal you and I want to be with you...zoya I love you and I can't tell since when I am loving you because I never realized it...I just knew that it hurted me when you left, I just realized that I was guilty and worried and I needed you, always, zoya I missed you and I wanted you with me, and then one day I found you but it killed me to see the way I did, we were like two strangers who never met before ...
your indifference always did something to me with which I was not able to cope up...which hurted me and not being with you like before filled a void in me...and that day on finding you so happy with that mohid hurted me zoya, I wanted to be with you, as if the only person with whom you deserve to be actually happy is me...
Please say something zoya...I promise if you will ask me to go I will leave.. right now...I promise' he whispered at the end, a tear rolled down her cheeks which was wiped away by him the same moment... she just stood and he stood with her holding her close to him...she have to be strong for herself and for her love which is pure and strong but her self respect have also some place in her heart
'tumhara pyaar par mujhe bharosa nahe hai asad...10 saal bohat lamba waqt hota hai asad ek aese insan ko bhulne ke liye jo mujhse kabhi pyaar hi nahe kar saka...or Mai use bhula chuki hun...' saying so she released herself from his hold and stepped back...it was tough for her and fighting with her strong feelings was the most difficult task for her but it was necessary and she wanted him to to through the same from which she went...
he stood there, at loss and realized that he lost her, the determination in her eyes and the way she fought with her feelings told him that the time ahead will be tough really tough... he was broken and defeated
Zarori hai asad ke pyaar barabari ka ho, zarori hai ke jitna dard maina saha utna tum bhe saho or zarori hai ke tumhara pyaar bhe utna hi sacha ho jitna mera tha taka kuch bhe hojae...tum laut kar aoge jaisa mai aye
Janta hun mere galati hai zoya, mera tumhara sath hona zarori tha jab tumhe mere zarorat the lekin I promise mai ab kabhi tumhe hurt nahi karonga, KaBhi bhi nahi...I promise..
Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah
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