||Asya FF|| Bring me back to life - pt 23 -pg151!! - Page 3

Bring me back to life

Part 1:

I went inside the hospital to check if my mother's condition was critical but the thought of the girl had not once left my mind. I rushed into the ward and saw my mother resting on the bed giving me a weak smile. I positioned beside her on the chair and held her hand- her soft hand. Had the girl ever felt it; a touch of a mother? My eyes were watery for which I didn't even knew why but just the thought of that girl made me want to cry my eyes out. I felt so blessed to have a family, a home and especially a mother. I glance at my mother and saw the look on her face. Without doubt, I knew she wanted to ask me what happened but I had no idea what to tell her.

I did all the formalities and paperwork since the doctors notify me that my mother can be discharged. We left for home going through the soundless journey. My mother noticed it - I was not the usual me who loved chatting and couldn't tolerate silence even for a second. Just the thought of being silent made me want to murder the monotonous person beside me. I never think before I spoke but today? Today, all I wanted was to think- think about the girl, the frozen girl who was lying on the bench with tears in her eyes.

As we enter the house, there was a pin drop silence. It didn't seem like the house it regularly is- the lively and cheerful house that is always lighten up by my silly antics. The day was tiring and silent itself which made all the things go mute. My 16 year old sister ran towards us and embraces us. We bid each other goodnight and I led my mother to her room. When I was about to leave, she called my name and begin inquiring about my silence. I sat beside her and narrate the story of the day.

"She wasn't dead but she looked as if she would explode with the pain in her eyes. She was depressed, selfless, and lifeless or... nearly dead. I wanted to help her ammi" those were the last words came out from my mouth and I retrieved back to my room.

I lie on my bed but my mind was engrossed in the thought of the girl. I've never in my entire life saw someone so doomed to descend. I lay there thinking about the girl for god knows how long and ended up sleeping quietly.

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I kept lying stock-stilled on the bench since I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to and mostly a motive to live. If my parents are the one who can abandon me, then who in this massive world would accept me willingly? I lie there yearning for my mother, the mother who passed away when I was 7. I hate to remember how she was murdered; I can never forgive nor forget him- the person whom I hate the most in my entire life. I regret for not saving her, all I did was stood there shattered while screaming at my father.

~ Flashback ~

"No! Don't do it daddy! Don't touch my ammi!" I scream on top of my lungs while running towards my mom. He smacked on my face while pushing me on the ground.

"F*ck off! You are nothing but an illegitimate daughter! I'm going to murder you and your B*tch mother" He seized my mother's hair and slapped her leaving his fingerprints on her cheek. She was screaming in pain and her tears streaming like a waterfall. He took the knife and stab my mother right in front my eyes. I felt numb and collapsed on the ground. My mother was dead leaving me all alone; I had no one in this world.

~ Flashback Ends ~

As always, the old man came and placed the container of food beside the bench and retrieve back to his restaurant for work. I desired for a father like this old man, who took care of me even when I don't let him near. It seemed as if all my neighbours were either shopkeepers or the employees working in the restaurant and stores nearby. Seeing me there every day, they might assume that I am a homeless person, well no doubt I am. I picked the food container from the ground and begin eating. I finished it off more fast than normal people do- guess I was very hungry. I placed the container back and lie there for about 15 minutes plus the sleep took over me.

The light shone on my face and by the time I woke up; it was already morning. I gaze around and saw the robotic people running to their work. No one glance towards me, I was disregarded even though I was noticeable. I felt ignored as the first piece of bread, ignored as a white crayon. Then I caught glimpse of the guy- the guy from last night. He was with a woman which I presume must be his mother since she looked like at the age of 40; they were laughing together. He had an attractive smile with two of his dimples showing how much he is loved by his parents- the love which I could never receive. I wonder if I had dimples yet I remembered I was only 7 when I last smiled. They went into a pet shop with him opening the door for her like a gentleman.

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As soon as I enter the pet shop with my mother seeing as she wanted to buy a puppy for my sister, I saw a sick puppy which reminded me of the girl. The girl- I wonder if she was still lying on the bench like previous night. I had totally forgotten about the girl since this morning upon hearing the news of my father returning from his business trip the next month.

I lied to my mother about attending the call when all I wanted was to see the girl. Rushing towards the door, my eyes sat on the bench without me acknowledging it as soon as the door swung open, unfortunately she wasn't there. I stood there gazing at the bench when my mother came after me after a few minutes. When she saw me staring at the bench, an unexpected question was asked by her.

"Asad. Is it that bench where the girl was?" At a sudden moment, I was surprised by her inquiry but then again; she is my mother who knows everything running in my intelligent brain. I smiled towards her and nodded.

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As he went into the pet shop, I moved from the bench and carried on with my daily routine- to attempt suicide. It has been more than hundredth time I've tried to suicide but never once have succeeded. I remembered how I was found by the teacher drinking excessive amount of bleach and was sent to the hospital. Yet I still tried to cut myself with the hospital tools and was stopped by the nurse. The nurse watched over me for several days. I recognize that I have been like this since I was young, so unwanted and emotionless. I saw a broken bottle of beer beside the tree- broken into pieces like me which was now of no one's use. Yet it was very useful to me for cutting my wrist, who knows it might be my luck today! Luck? What am I talking about? Neither luck nor has god been on my side ever.

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Farah<3

Buddy me for pms :)