FF - Pehla Pyaar (Epilogue Page 51) COMPLETED

Zoya couldn't believe she had just done that..Just to make him remember that special night. Off cos now she only realised that is was a special night for her only not him. To him that was a big mistake something he is ashamed of. Zoya could not believe she had stooped to that level dancing seductively in a sari in front of him only to be ridiculed again. Time and time again she faced his rejection and humiliation. She walked over to the mirror and looked at the shadow of girl staring back at her. They say that you are attracted to the kind of man your father is, isn't that exactly what she did, fell in love with a man who didn't love her back just like her father. She could not recognise that person starting back at her. Love does make you do silly things. Love makes you a fool and with that she sank to the floor bringing her knees up to chest and rocking herself back and forth.

And that is how Dilshaad found her. "Zoya, Zoya what happened beta?" Dilshaad rushed over to her and cradled Zoya in her arms. Zoya tears came more furiously. Dilshaad continued to hush Zoya and stroke her hair. Zoya finally hiccupped and looked into Dilshaad's eyes and said "Mere pehla pyaar adhoora rehegaya phuphi, meri pehla pyaar " and Zoya cried some more. Dilshaad only knew that feeling too well. She continued to hold onto Zoya and cried silently with her remembering how her pehla pyaar also remained adhoora.

Asad stood outside the door watching the two women he cared for embrace each other and cry. He knew he was the reason for their tears. Heartache was no stranger to him but love was, he didn't know how to express it. He was ruled by his brain not heart. What he felt for Zoya he himself was not sure. That is why he pushed that night out his head. Why? Why? Did she have to keep trying to get his attention and remind him. He could not allow his heart to bow down to his brain. He had to be realistic and rational. Love is for fools and Asad Ahmed Khan is not fool. But why did her tears hurt him so much. He couldn't stand there any longer, or he just might walk him and gather her in his arms just like he imagined. Thinking that Asad rubbed his forehead and walked away to his room.

Najma found Dilshaad and Zoya sitting on the floor still hugging each other thinking of lost loves. She walked into the room and knelt down to their level and asked "Kya hua" Dilshaad's walk down memory lane faded away. She got up and made Zoya get up as well. Holding onto Zoya like a baby she made Zoya stand. Zoya was so exhausted crying that she had no strength she almost tripped on the sari she was using. Dilshaad could not help admire Zoya's beauty. Dilshaad and Najma helped Zoya undress. Zoya was numb she just let them. Dilshaad removed her sari blouse and gasped at all the burn marks on her hand. How much did this child suffer, thought Dilshaad. Along with all this scars her heart is now scarred. Silently tears rolled down Najma and Dilshaad's face. They slowly put Zoya to bed. Tucking her in, Dilshaad tried to remove her hand and Zoya gripped it harder and said "Ammi, please don't leave me, ammi please" That broke Dilshaad's heart even more. Dilshaad signalled for Najma to go to bed and she sat by Zoya slowly tapping her to sleep.

Asad tossing and turning, his words to Zoya and his Ammi's and Zoya's tears were haunting him. He knew he couldn't go to Zoya ' she might get the wrong idea. Although his heart kept telling him to go. His brain wouldn't allow it. He decided to check on his ammi. He opened her door to see her bed untouched. She can't still be with Zoya. He walked quickly to Zoya's room and the door was slightly opened. He pushed the door further to see Dilshaad had fallen off to sleep with her hand on Zoya's forehead. That sight stopped him in his tracks. Could Zoya really be the misfit he thought she was? Here his ammi is sitting at her side like; a mother would do with their child. He quickly shook that thought out his head. He went to his ammi and shook her slightly. " Ammi, ammi go to bed". Dilshaad opened her eyes and registered that she was still in Zoya's room and Zoya was holding onto her hand still. Dilshaad tried to remove her hand. But Zoya just mumbled in her sleep and sed "ammi, ammi" repeatedly. Tears formed him his eyes, he hated what he done. He stepped forward and removed Zoya's hand from Dilshaad's. Zoya instead gripped his hand and mumbled "mera pehle pyaar adhoora rehegaya" those words froze Asad. He looked at Zoya's tear stained face and their hands still joined and that broke him some more. He stared at her for awhile tears streaming down his face. And eventually Dilshaad touched her son's shoulder and said, "sometimes, you just have to take that risk, you never know until you try, it's better to try and fail then fail to try" and with that she walked away. Asad stared at Zoya, he couldn't take that chance. Not with Zoya. She had so much life and love to give someone who truly deserves her. She does not fit into his world and he will just make her miserable. His brain kicked in again. She will never be the perfect wife or daughter in law his family needs..

Zoya could feel his presence; Zoya knew his touch more than she remembered her mother's touch. Her sobbing subsided a little and in her own fantasy world she dreamed of a place where it was just her Asad and her.

Hulchul Hui Zara Shor Hua
Dil Chor Hua Teri Ore Hua

There was a stir and some noise
My heart became a thief and it was towards you

Hulchul Hui Hulchul Hui
Zara Shor Hua Zara Shor Hua
Dil Chor Hua Dil Chor Hua
Teri Ore Hua Teri Ore Hua

Aisi Chale Jab Hawa
Ishq Hua Hi Hua
Aisi Chale Jab Hawa
Love Is In The Air
Ishq Hua Hi Hua

When such an air blows
Love will definitely happen

She dreamt of flowers and wind and she in Asad's arms. She was the happiest in her dream she smiled. Asad held onto her closely, looking deep into her eyes speaking with his eyes, saying everything she wanted to here. She was so grateful..

shukran allah wallah alham dulillah

thank you allah, allah be praised

nazron se nazrein mili to

when my eyes met your eyes,

jannat si mehki fizaayein

the atmosphere fragranted like heaven

lab ne jo lab chhoo liya to

when we touched our lips with each other,

aasmaan se barsi duaaien

prayers showered from sky

aisi apni mohabbat

such is our love,

aisi rooh-e-ibaadat

such is the essence of our devotion,

hum pe meherbaan do jahaan

that both the worlds are kind on us

He saw Zoya smile a little in her dream. He could help but wonder what she was dreaming about. She looked so beautiful when she smiled. He could not let Zoya enter his heart. It hard to many thorns and it would just hurt her some more. He then slowly removed his hand from hers and walked out the room not giving her a second glance. He had to stick to resolve. Zoya felt cold all of sudden and empty. In her dreams it became dark and cold:

Lamhe vele lamhe, vele pal yeh
Idhar udhar tehal rahe
Sehme sehme dil bhi
Keh rahe hai, bina tere
Mar jayian, tere bin mar jayian
Mar jayian, tere bin mar jayian re

Spare moments, spare moments
are walking here and there
Nervous hearts
are saying that without you
I will die, I will die
I will die, I will die

Dil mein koi rug yun
Dhadakti hai, ki jaise bijli si daude
Saansein, teri saansein
Jagaati hai bina tere
Mar jayian, tere bin mar jayian
Mar jayian, tere bin mar jayian re

Any vein in my heart
beats in a way, as if it is a current
Your breathes
wake me up, without you
I will die, I will die
I will die, I will die

Zoya woke up with a head ache, her eyes were swollen. She remembered everything that happened last night. The sari she choose for him, the dancing seductively, falling in his arms, getting lost in his eyes and them she remembered all those words he said. He heart literally turned cold at those words. She remembered her dream and cried some more. What a fool she was!! Trying to get his attention, all those little stupid things she did. Trying to get Tanveer away from him only made a look like a bigger fool. She was a guest in his house, she was a musibat, she was a complete misfit. He didn't love her let alone like her. What a fool she was. She felt miserable; she just wanted to hide from the world. Thinking all that the tears continued down her cheeks. It was then that Dilshaad entered her room.

Dilshaad looked at Zoya's break down again and went to side and hugged her. Zoya just buried herself some more into Dilshaad's arms. Dilshaad made Zoya look up and wiped her tears and said "Zoya beta I know the pain you are going through all too well. But Zoya this is not your fault. You tried. I don't know what happened beta, but I can guess" Zoya looked at her phupi with worried eyes. Dilshaad continued "Zoya, when a woman loves a man, she will try her best to make him happy, she will do things she never thought she would do anything to feel her love reciprocated but men are different no they think with their brain. What they think is right is right and they follow their resolve. We woman are ruled by our hearts. What we do we do to make other happy and we forget about ourselves in that process. We women do everything in an extra mile. When we cry we cry till there is no tears, when we smile we smile so much that the world smiles with us, so when we love we love with everything that we are" Zoya buried her face more into Dilshaad's shoulder. "Zoya, you tried beta, but that person has other ideas and maybe is not as brave as you are to take all the love you can offer" Dilshaad made Zoya look at her and wiped her tears "Zoya, you are a beautiful, strong, independent woman 21^st century woman. Your resilience, bravery and independence is what I love so much about you. You remind me of me. I loved Rashid with everything that I was, I was willing to do anything for him. I married him, yet he still left me. Yes, it broke my heart and was shattered. But I picked myself up and continued to face the world. It still hurts me when I think of him and another woman but I get by each day" Zoya smiled a little. Dilshaad continued, "Zoya, I think of you as my own, you do not share you pain easily with anyone yet you have stood by our side through every hurdle that came our way, you are part of my family. You are my daughter. And I want to see my old Zoya back" Dilshaad kissed Zoya on her forehead and Zoya cried some more, Zoya whispered "ammi" and hugged Dilshaad tighter. Dilshaad and Zoya cried some more at that point Najma entered "OMG ' this house is becoming a regular serial set" at this Zoya and Dilshaad laughed and pulled Najma in for a hug. Dilshaad kissed them both and said "Thank you Allah, for my two daughters" Dilshaad then broke the hug and said "right down for breakfast you two" Dilshaad looked and Zoya and said. " You can do this, you are Dilshaad Ahmed Khan's daughter, you will wipe your tears, and stow your heart ache away and face the world ' the same old Zoya that entered this house with her silly shayari and Allah miya's" . At that Zoya smiled and said " Love you ammi" Dilshaad at that point felt like she had received jannat.

Dilshaad went downstairs. One look at her son, and the woman in her felt like hitting him. But she was his mother too and he looked miserable, he looked like he had just gone through hell. "Good morning Asad" Dilshaad said, "Morning Ammi" replied Asad in a really low voice. Tanveer meanwhile appeared by his side "Toast Jammy." Smiling only too sweetly at Asad. "Good morning Khala" said Tanveer. Najma entered then smiled and greeted good morning. Asad looked to see if Zoya was around but she was nowhere to be seen. Tanveer kept hovering around Asad, not even letting him pick up a cup, attending to his every need. Not spilling or making a noise like Zoya. She was everything he imagined in a wife, yet why was he feeling so restless and waiting for something to spill or a stupid outburst.

Zoya came out of the shower. She put on her jeans and yellow kurti. She looked at her reflection and remembered everything phupi..no ammi said. Having your love not returned is not the end of world, life does go on. She will go on. She will put a smile on her face and face the world and face the love the of her life's indifference towards her as well. She resolved to be her old self just for her ammi. She still had to find her abbu ' it didn't matter anymore, but she just had to know why he didn't love her as well. Was she a "mis-fit" for him as well?? She was loved her Dilshaad ammi loved her, and she will do this for her ammi and for herself. With that she tied her hair back..no more hiding. Smiled at her hollow reflection and went down to breakfast, one look at the table at her love and his perfect partner hovering around her and she felt her resolve crack. You can do this Zoya she thought. She plastered a fake smile on her face and said a little too loudly "Good morning everyone". Asad looked at her with wide eyes, was this the same woman breaking down yesterday. "Good morning ammi" she said hugged Dilshaad tightly whispering "thank you" into her ear. Dilshaad smiled and said "Zoya you sit with your ammi today". Asad looked blankly at the two of them. Their bonding made him smile yet his brain could not register it, he thought she has to have some ulterior motive. How can she be so devastated one minute and so happy the next, something is not right he was in constant turmoil all the time when it came to her, yet here she was after everything that happened last night she was smiling, he was hating himself for everything that happened and here she didn't even look at him. What's going on..Zoya was back to her normal self, smiling saying stupid shayari's but not once looking in his direction or she would break.

Meanwhile Tanveer was watching all of this like a hawk, she tried everything to get Asad's attention but nothing worked, he was staring at Zoya with an odd look. Oh no thought Tanveer ' she will not let Asad realise his feeling for Zoya that easily. So Tanveer asked " Zoya, didn't you say your visa expires soon" With that Asad trance like stare broke. And Zoya looked at Tanveer and said "yes, in a week" and she continued to talk to Dilshaad. Tanveer then continued to probe "What will you do once you back to the US" Zoya turned to Tanveer and said " I don't know, maybe just take a break from it all. India has showed me so much, I don't think I can handle anything else just yet" Zoya's voice cracked a little. Tanveer smiled and looked at Asad staring at Zoya and then Tanveer asked Zoya "What about marriage??" Asad choked on his coffee. Dilshaad then came to her son's rescue and said, "U okay Asad" handing him a tissue. "Tanveer asked Zoya about marriage not you and besides we all know the kind of girl you want ' and she can be found easily but Zoya will be a one of kind wife to any lucky guy who is brave enough to have her" Dilshaad said stroking Zoya's cheeks. Zoya smiled at her ammi and replied " No Tanveer, marriage is not for me" laughing Zoya continued "I have a tendency to ran away from marriage, maybe that's why love runs away from me" Zoya smiled sadly.

Tanveer thought this is her chance. And she asked Asad"what about you? Have you given marriage any thought" Asad said "no, I haven't found the right girl as yet" and looked directly at Zoya. Zoya could feel his eyes on her. She then stood up and hugged Dilshaad and said she is going to try and look once more for her abbu. Dilshaad hugged her and told her to becareful. Zoya bolted to the door as the tears started to fall however she wasn't fast enough and Asad saw this. Why does her tears effect me so much..