Okay this is specially dedicated to Mamsa (RMamsa) and i know it is posted really late so i am sorry. and i hope you like it.😊
even I really did not like the apology scene that asad had done. I mean felt lack of depth in it. I would have liked it a bit more if there was a little more remorse on asad's side. so here I have written a revised scene. It's the same as the serial only something is added. Everything in bold is my imagination. This is how I would have loved it to be.
Asad was standing outside the door to zoya's room. He had done it again. Like always he had blamed her for everything that had gone wrong in his life. It was not her but his ammi who had brought mariam back. His ammi told him that.
Flashback:
"ab jab tumhe pata hai asad ki main Mariam ko ghar le aayi thi to kya tum mujh par bhi ghusa hoge?"
Present:
Asad closed his eyes. He inhaled and pushed the door open.
Zoya was sitting on her bed with her back turned towards the door where now asad was standing. Zoya was crying. She had been crying from the moment asad had insulted her and accused her for the loss of her own mother.
Asad walked to her and after a great deal of hesitation put his hand on her shoulder as he said "zoya". The first thing he felt was zoya's body stiffens. And he quickly took his hand away.
He stood there staring at the ground as zoya got up and turned around. Asad closed his eyes mentally calming himself down so that he would not waver when he sees anger and disgust on her face. But the moment he looked up he froze. Instead of anger and disgust all he could see was hurt. Zoya quickly wiped her tears.
"Please Mr khan aap yahan se chale jayiye. Aap meri jitni insult kar sakte they aap kar chuke hai. I know ye aapka ghar hai. But since it's my room'please leave me alone."
Asad was hurt by her words but what hurt him more was the fact that zoya had not even once looked at him. She turned around as asad tried to touch her again. He wanted to wipe her tears but he knew he couldn't do that.
Zoya sat on her bed. All she could think was of his slap, his words and just now his touch on her shoulder. She had been so startled. The first thing she thought was that he was about to hurt her again. She didn't feel safe anymore around him. She had not looked up in his eyes because she dreaded the anger visible in his eyes.
Asad turned around. He wanted to make her feel okay but he did not know what to do. His heart wrenched. He stood there for a moment and then slowly made his way to the door. At the door he turned around to look at zoya.
Zoya turned slightly to look if asad had actually left. She saw him near the door and quickly straightened her head. She did not even know why she had turned around. She wanted him to leave her alone but at the same time she wanted him to wait there. She had always felt safe around him but now she felt scared of his anger. His reflexes were what she feared. She never knew if in his fit he might hit again.
She heard the door close and she could not hold it in any more. She was so hurt by his words. She fell on her pillow crying her heart out.
Asad had just closed the door when he heard muffled sobs. He immediately opened the door. He saw zoya on the bed crying and on an impulse he walked in and stretched his hand out to reach her but stopped as he looked at his hand. He remembered the time he slapped her. A tear slipped from his eye and fell on the floor. He looked at her again and walked away closing the door behind him.
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asad made the coffee and walked out to find zoya sitting on the bench. He pressed his lips in nervousness. He came to the bench and saw zoya look up. Zoya ignored him and continued looking ahead. Asad sat down next to her and felt her slide away from him. He felt a knot in his throat. He looked down and then looked back at her. He could still see her red swollen eyes.
He hesitantly offered her the cup of coffee. She looked at it surprised. She wanted to refuse it but on second thought she did not want to seem rude.
Asad who had been observing her face realised that she was about to refuse the cup and was about to lower his hand when he felt zoya grab the cup. He immediately looked up and out of impulse said, "mujhe laga ki aap isse nahi lengi."
"mujhe bhi laga tha par that would be rude. Aur aap chahe mere saath kitne bhi rudely behave kare main aap se rude behave karke aapki tarah nahi ban sakti."
This stung him. He recalled all the times he had wronged her and her reaction to it. She had never crossed her limits unlike him. And he knew that.
"I am sorry."
Zoya looked at him abruptly shocked. Asad saw her face and looked down with tears on the brink of falling out.
"Mujhey aap par haath nahi'I am really sorry."
Zoya clutched the cup more tightly. She could feel the genuinely honest emotion in his voice but still she was hurt. His slap she might have even forgiven him for but his words that had cut her heart like a sword. How could she forgive him for that?
"Mr khan meri ammi nahi hai
Par iska matlab ye nahi ki mujhe ammi ki ahemiyat ka ehsas bhi nahi hai.
Mujhey abhi bhi thoda thoda yaad hai ki meri ammi mujhse kitna pyaar kiya karti thi."
Asad looked at her. Her words were making him feel miserable. But he let her continue.
"Aapko pata hai mr khan. Agar mujhey kabhi bhi kahi chot lag jati thin na to mujhse zyada pain meri ammi ko hota tha. Aisi mohabat sirf ek maa hi kar sakti hai.
Ab toh jo bhi ho jitna bhi dard ho apne aap' mr khan chahe koi insaan kitna bhi bura ho usne kitni bhi badi galti ki ho koi bhi yeh desrve nahi karta ki uski ammi na rahe."
Asad closed his eyes.
"Actually ammi ke saath jo kuch bhi hua tha use main bohot dar gaya tha.
Main janta hoon, mujhe aapse vo sab nahi kehna chahiye tha. Agar meri ammi ko khone ke daar ne hi mujhe itna hila diya toh aap ko toh' par jo kuch maine kaha I didn't mean it."
Zoya looked at the coffee.
"I know mr khan, Main yahan iss ghar mein aapki marzi ke khilaf reh rahi hoon par mr khan main apne ab...I mean mujhe ek bohot zaruri kaam karna hai yahan aur vo hote hi main yahan se chali jaungi"
Asad looked at her shocked. He knew she was to leave soon but something stirred in him when he heard her say that. Before he could think he started. "aap"
Zoya looked up at him about to sip the coffee leaving him with no choice but to continue.
"aap'Aap jabtak chahe yahan reh sakti hai."
Zoya who had sipped the coffee threw it out that instant.
She looked at asad like a scarred puppy. The fear brought her on the verge of tears. Asad was irritated and the moment zoya saw him raise his hand she literally threw the cup away and stood up. Asad who was about to touch his forehead looked at her confused at first and then realised why she had reacted like that. he felt so ashamed of himself that he could not even bring himself to look at her.
Zoya realised that she had over reacted and being a girl who could not hold grudges for long she instantly tried to lighten up the mood. She started to laugh and asad looked at her again but this time he was genuinely concerned for her mental balance.
"I am sorry'mr khan par agar aap coffee bana hi rahe they toh dhang ki bana detey.
Bilkul apne jaisi bana kar laye hai. Kali aur kadvi matlab thoda sat oh mitha add kartey."
Asad looked away very irritated.
"I am sorry par main coffee aisi hi pita hoon. Black without sugar aur mujhe aisi hi banana aati hai."
"yes I understand."
She tried to hide her smile as she bent down to pick the cup. asad had a small smile though. He was extremely impressed by how well zoya was handling the situation. Again he could see the difference in them. She was trying her best not to make him feel miserable whereas he had not left any stone unturned to blame her. But he decided to dwell on it later and for now to help her be her normal teasing self. That was the least he could do after what he had made her go through. Just then he heard her say something so he looked at her as she continued to fiddle with the cup on the floor.
"I am sorry mr khan. Main aapka apni ammi ko le kar concern samajh sakti hoon. Aur main yeh bhi samajh sakti hoon ki aap apne abu ke liye aisa kyun feel karte hai. I can understand everything mr khan. Aapki ammi aur abbu. Matlab apke abbu'"
Zoya could not bring herself to say it properly forget about saying it while looking at him.
Asad clenched his jaw and said with gritted teeth.
"Main aapse sirf mafi mangne aya tha to yeh humdardi dikhane ki zarurat nahi hai. Good night."
Asad got up to leave.
"Bilkul iss coffee ki tarah hai. Black and bitter."
Asad heard that and stopped in his tracks. He turned around and saw zoya on the floor still staring at the empty cup in her hand. He walked back to her and offered her his hand. Zoya looked at his hand. She showed him her hand which had coffee on it. She knew very well that her cleanliness freak jahapanah will never touch her dirty hands but to her surprise he just looked away but did not pull his hand away. She slowly took his hand and stood up.
She turned around and walked past the bench.
"zoya"
She stopped.
"I know ki maine jo kiya vo shayad hi aap kabhi bhul paye but still again'i'I am very sorry."
Zoya turned her head halfway and nodded to acknowledge that she had heard him and that his apology was accepted. Asad saw her walk away with a sad feeling. He knew his apology was accepted but she had never told him if he was forgiven. That was his punishment may be but right now he felt much relieved that at last things were again normal between him and zoya.
He sighed and walked back in.
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appreciate all who read it because as i said i posted it real late. and also please leave a comment to tell me how it was.😊
Shiv Shakti
