Revised Asad's apology to Zoya. :) - Page 4

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Ayuzawa thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#31

thank you😃
KunwaariDaayan thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#32
Very good attempt ,you've made some improvisations but not a huge amount.This is still very much similiar to the original.If I was to write the scece for the redemption I would have started from scratch,scene setting,scenarios,use of dialouge,character depiction everything would have to be from scratch and that lame coffee scene would defo have to be scrapped.. and Zoya would defo have to show more didgnity.However,having said all that, really did appreciate your effort and the improvised scenes sure had more romorse on Asad's part, than whatever was shown on the show.
Edited by shaz2009 - 12 years ago
Ayuzawa thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#33

Originally posted by: shaz2009

Very good attempt ,you've made some improvisations but not a huge amount.This is still very much similiar to the original.If I was to write the scece for the redemption I would have started from scratch,scene setting,scenarios,use of dialouge,character depiction everything would have to be from scratch and that lame coffee scene would defo have to be scrapped.. and Zoya would defo have to show more didgnity.However,having said all that, really did appreciate your effort and the improvised scenes sure had more romorse on Asad's part, than whatever was shown on the show.



see this is what i meant. if i were to write an alternate version then i would have to start from scratch and for that i would have to take a long time which i don't have right now. in fact if i had my way like in my ff i would never let asad slap zoya. because raising a hand on someone physically weaker than you is a clear no no. be it a woman or a child or an invalid. there are some unwritten rules which we have to follow that show that we are human and not animals.😳
thank you for appreciating my effort though. 😃
RMamsa thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#34

Originally posted by: Ayuzawa


thank you😃
yes you are right. i mean i did like the original scene but it felt so incomplete with asad just saying a sorry. they should have lengthened the scene a bit instead of showing all ayaan's family plotting against each other.😡 that wold have made the scene far more acceptable.



I for one really enjoyed reading it- I dont feel it's a complete repeat because you voiced Asad's regretful 'thoughts' which they could not depict via their acting (no offense to KSG Lovers)
Whats more is that you brought for the important topic of a slap not being brushed under the carpet and in a way that you made your point and still managed to keep this post on the forum. Hat's off to that & the effort behind it.
& I know for a fact that you have a crazy life you are managing & you come here for escape just like the rest of us and still take out the time to full fill requests and (I also know for a fact) you write giving you 100%- if you are not happy with what you have written you work on it.
Ayuzawa thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#35

Originally posted by: RMamsa



I for one really enjoyed reading it- I dont feel it's a complete repeat because you voiced Asad's regretful 'thoughts' which they could not depict via their acting (no offense to KSG Lovers)
Whats more is that you brought for the important topic of a slap not being brushed under the carpet and in a way that you made your point and still managed to keep this post on the forum. Hat's off to that & the effort behind it.
& I know for a fact that you have a crazy life you are managing & you come here for escape just like the rest of us and still take out the time to full fill requests and (I also know for a fact) you write giving you 100%- if you are not happy with what you have written you work on it.



thanks a lot Mamsa.😃
i am so relieved that you understand what i am going through and that you don't feel disappointed or betrayed by such a small OS.
i would have really written something much more better but my exams start tomorrow 🤓and i have exam for next 3 weeks where i can't even come on IF.🥺
i so love you for understanding this.
loads of love and hugs to you❤️❤️🤗🤗
KunwaariDaayan thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#36
I really appreciate your efforts too but let me tell you that if I had it my way then I wouldn't have let the slap happen either as I do not condone violence of any kind either and believe me I have taken a stand many a time on this very forum to face backlash but since it's happened we are going by on what sort of redemption we'd all like to see from Asad as we didn't get a proper redemtion track that's all, so that is all I am going by on your write up and meant no offence to the way you've written as I think you have penned it down superbly. 😃
Ayuzawa thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#37

Originally posted by: shaz2009

I really appreciate your efforts too but let me tell you that if I had it my way then I wouldn't have let the slap happen either as I do not condone violence of any kind either and believe me I have taken a stand many a time on this very forum to face backlash but since it's happened we are going by on what sort of redemption we'd all like to see from Asad as we didn't get a proper redemtion track that's all, so that is all I am going by on your write up and meant no offence to the way you've written as I think you have penned it down superbly. 😃


no offence taken dear😊
really appreciate your honesty. and you are right it is the same scene ofcourse so why would i take offfence😲
and ya thanks for your complement.😊
means a lot😊
--Janvie-- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#38
Its Amazing and Awesome!I really enjoyed reading it.
One thing I would say I love the way you describe emotions.Thats Really Amazing.
You are really a very Superb writer. 👏
I especially liked the way you described Asad's emotions here,they have shown it very lightly in the show.
The intensity was somewhere lacking.But you describe it Amazingly.👍🏼 👏 👏

And So Sorry for my late reply,But actually the day you send me pms,my 11th Class Final exams got over the same day.And There were so many unread pending pms to go through.Thats why haven't seen them earlier. 😊

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