Several members of this forum mocked and taunted us. They laughed at us and thought we were not serious...but we were. This morning the following letter was sent to the BCCC (Broadcast Content Complaint Council) and also two very famous female journalists in India known for their work on women's issues as well as the writer of the article for the TImes of India. For many of us this show simply hit a raw nerve. The letter was a team effort. While it might not bring about change, we sent this letter to the appropriate authorities and drew further attention to a serious issue.
Thank you to all those who supported this cause - if you were not part of writing this letter, you definitely were inspiring. Let us hope that eventually all shows will be more sensitive to issues regarding violence towards women.
If you like the letter and support it, then please comment below and like it too. And if someone wants to send it to the 4Lions or wishes to use any portions of this to send to anyone, please feel free.
Laila
I am writing to highlight how a recent show on Zeetv has both glamorized and romanticized violence between the two lead characters. Qubool Hai, the latest offering by 4Lions Production House (PH), is a Muslim social drama designed to break Muslim stereotypes. The production house claimed that the characterization of the female lead character, Zoya, was that of an empowered, educated Muslim girl raised in the United States. The female lead and the male lead, Asad, are apparently engaged in a love-hate romantic comedy style relationship; however, to heighten the physical tension between the two characters, the writers overstepped their boundaries and on February 4th, 2013, for the sake of TRPs, decided to have the male lead slap the female lead. In the past the male lead had exhibited aggressive behaviors towards the female lead but these had been played off in comedy and no actual physical abuse had been reached until this date.
The background story behind this scene in question is the male lead, Asad, thinks Zoya has put his mother's life in danger (which she never did), and in a fit of rage slaps her so hard that she falls into a tea urn and cuts herself. See attached link.
Watch from the 7.0 min part on this link...http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xx9yhi_qubool-hai-720p-4th-february-2013-watch-online-video-hd-pt1_shortfilms#.URaFZ6U72Ag
The abuse continues two days later where the male lead, in his continued fit of rage, manhandles the young female lead, pushes her up against the wall and threatens to kill her. He exerts such an excessive amount of physical strength on her that she pleads for him to stop because he is hurting her. He stops, but insults her further. See attached link.
Got to the 1.0 -1.30 minute mark: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxbtd4_qubool-hai-6th-february-2013-pt3_shortfilms%23.URaNzqU72Ag&h=SAQF61wAu
The tragedy is that the writers of the show never take responsibility of educating the public that these types of behaviors are wrong. The male lead, Asad, only acknowledges that he is at fault for slapping her, Zoya, when he learns that she was not responsible for what happened to his mother. There is no acknowledgement on his part that his behavior is wrong. A poor attempt is made by the writers for Asad to provide an apology; however, the lead character never verbalizes what he did was wrong. Instead, he tries to justify his actions - that he was scared. What is worse is that the female lead is characterized as never acknowledging the physical abuse. In fact the writers turned the whole "apology" scenario into a comedy where she jokes about the bitter cup of coffee he offers her. This cup of coffee is very symbolic and reminiscent of the bouquet of flowers many abusers offer their partners when they feel guilty for their actions. The whole apology scene is so similar to the honeymoon period of the cycle of abuse where we see the loving contrition where the man is remorseful, apologetic...and he goes out of his way to be kind, tranquil and loving. A nave young viewer will think, "Oh, it is all right now" as he is now being nice. And Zoya, the female lead, like a typical victim, is shown to think she is the sole source of the abuser's emotional support when she says "I understand you" and takes ownership of the whole situation with "I'm sorry." What the writers gave was one of the most psychological victimizing moments perpetuating an illusion of interdependence - he depends on her forgiveness, she depends on the "real" man coming back who will be "nice" to her. And to top the entire scene, the romantic track, "Mitwa" is played in the background thereby reinforcing the whole scene as romantic.
Granted Asad said "I'm sorry" but it was so matter-of-fact and without any heartfelt thought. There was no comment such as, I should never have hit you, because it was wrong...just a bit of mumbling under his breath that he shouldn't have raised his hand at her...and then in response to those cruel words he said to Zoya..."I didn't mean it." Yet at the time it is very apparent that he did. By downplaying the slap and having Zoya not confront Asad, they are promoting the idea that physical violence against women is acceptable instead of telling their viewers that as a female, if you are slapped by a male you should stand up for yourself and tell him what he did was wrong and how you felt because of his actions. For the apology track, see the following links.
Starts at 3.20 mins on this link http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxcp22_qubool-hai-7th-february-2013-part-2_creation#.URhtw6X3BT4 and continues http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxcpif_qubool-hai-7th-february-2013-pt3_shortfilms#.URhtOaX3BT4
The writers of the show plan to build a romance on these two characters. Many young girls watch this show; the very popular teenage/young adult female heartthrob, Karan Singh Grover, plays the lead character and these young girls often do not differentiate between the lead actor and character. Visiting www.India-Forums.com, the largest website covering Indian television shows, a number of these young girls justified the abuse and claimed that he had a right to slap her because he loved her. Some posts even talked about him having "haq" or a right to slap her and some even suggested that she, Zoya, liked the slap. Others talked about "aggressive love" and how excited they were by it, while some compared the slap to 50 Shades of Grey not realizing this slap and abuse was not BSMD or consensual. Some viewers blamed the female lead for getting in the way or showing up when Asad was angry. Other viewers said that while the slap bothered them they felt it was justified and that any normal person would have behaved in the same way towards someone they thought might have put their family in danger. However, what they failed to see is that this girl was less than half the size of the male lead, who was never given a chance to explain herself and even when she did was continually abused. The multiple excuses justifying and forgiving the abuse were quite mortifying to read as the show simply helped to reinforce already existing ideas that it is fine to slap the woman you love or plan to be with in the future.
What was even worse were video montages glorifying the slap with songs about a haq and ishq (go to the 50 mark second http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UttUPupMQ6Y) and fan fictions in praise of it such as "Guilt Wala Love" where Zoya apologizes to Asad for making him slap her were horrifying to read. What the show is doing is telling its viewers that it is OK for a man to slap a woman if he is afraid, scared, stressed or angry and it is up to the woman to understand his emotional state and like a good future wife, forgive him for his indiscretion once he calms down. It also promotes the idea to young women that they should be submissive and if a guy like Asad is aggressive then that behavior is erotic.
Every abusive relationship starts with what we saw on Qubool Hai this week. For the writers to show such abuse and fail to address it from both the male and female characters is a serious flaw in the development of any relationship, be it romantic or friendship. All of this is very irresponsible on their part. Moreover, for a number of viewers, this once enjoyable couple is no longer going to be a joy to watch and these viewers now feel alienated from the show. This action on part of the PH might have helped to gain new viewers and build their TRPs, but there is a segment of people whom they have forever pushed away.
With the rise in crime and violence against women it is the cumulative responsibility of ALL to STOP it. The violence and abuse stems from deep-rooted thought that it's ok to hit a woman. Whether this is just an example of shoddy writing or a terrible screenplay, it does not negate the fact that a disturbing message has been sent. For the PH to market on the horrific incident in Delhi in December and promise more positive messages of female empowerment on their show is a disappointment. I really do beg television producers to give women characters more esteem and showcase the strength and power of women. Furthermore, instead of enforcing stereotypes television shows should become a medium through which people are educated on how to treat women.
We (members of India-Forums who support this letter) hope that you will be able to address this matter with the production house and help educate them by inviting them to visit with NGOs and other individuals who work in the field of domestic violence, women's rights and abuse on the dangers of what their show can do as a result of irresponsible writing.
(Please note, the Times of India also addressed this matter in the following article:
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
