KunwaariDaayan thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1

We have quite alot of discussions on IF on what love is,what it should and shouldn't be like and when the leads of a show fall in love, we are all here to speculate in giving our two cents on how and what it shoud be and shouldn't be like and when things don't go according to the way we want then we are the first to shunning/bashing the character's endlessly.We also do the same in real life when we feel that love is not going our way we tend to seat there brooding over it.

Everyone has their ideologies and definitions of what love is to them and there is no right and wrong answer at most times!
Love has flaws and is a bundle of contradictions which if we could fully understand,then there probably be would not be so much heart ache.Is love really about declaring it from the roof tops and writing it on the sky lines,with diamonds,chocolates,flower's and roses with romantic candle lit dinners and wining and dining?I found this piece recently through a friend(Uma) on IF so thought to share with everone here as I really found this to be a major eye opener and could be for many of you out here too who are probably lost in love,miserable in love or just trying to understand love in general is or just to appreciate the love that they already have.
The piece follows
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years into marriage, I would have
to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?" He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow'." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes'. My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand' and tell you the colourof flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face' Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do' I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting' and as I continue on reading' "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk' I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread'.

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone'

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form... flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands' and that's our life' Love, not words win arguments.


Edited by shaz2009 - 12 years ago

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-rajsua- thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#2
such an awsomeee post
loved it 👏
chicksoup thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 12 years ago
#3
That was beautiful!
I believe that is what love is about, actually.
Actions speak louder than words... never had a problem with there being no confessions in the previous show. There are some thing syou juat cannot express with words and sometimes words ruin the beauty of the emotion.
RACHA90 thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 12 years ago
#4
Wow wonderful...Sometimes you have got to leave the flower alone ...Love doesnt have to be proved by doing extreme things...The little things of everyday life can be more love showing than sacrifising your life for someone
Mystic_nights_ thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 12 years ago
#5
lovely post...you are a fab writer dear
Edited by EternalFrission - 12 years ago
Ecrivain thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#6



Shaz this was beautiful ...u know first when I read it ..I was like there is gonna be a happy ending ..OMG it's Awesome ...

Cheers
OwnMyCity thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#7
Gosh...thanks for sharing tis wif us...loved it...!!

its amazing...all should read tis😊
_vineeta_ thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#8
Read this story on FB long time back some friend shared it, very nice touching story..
Sometimes this TV romance really get too deep in mind,and change the definition of love, is all I would say here.
Everyone changes, it is part of growing and taking responisibility, even when heart is still same but the way to reciprocate love changes..
adeeti10 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 12 years ago
#9
Very true! And beautifully put 😊

I've always believed that it's in the everyday things you do... But yes, romance adds the spice! A stolen hug, a li'l surprise, a break from the kitchen cos he cooked or even helped you cook!

Things change after marriage, and continue to change years after. So does one's definition of intimacy and romance. But it's good to chill out once in a while... And smell the roses together!


AshRun thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#10
Sorry for the late reply, I was studying for these two tests that I have tomorrow, but I wanted to reply before going to bed!!😊
Firstly, thank for sharing the wonderful story because I've never heard of it, and I agree. Love means different things to both genders. Even within the female gender there is a group of girls who are mature enough to understand that love doesn't always have to me materialized.
However, I belong to the category of people who like to...see manifestations of love..pretty much everyday or every other day. I think it might be my immaturity as I have not been in a fully fledged romantic relationship in my life so far, but I strongly believe that my opinion won't change even after I get married. My opinion is that love does the work of glucose and medicine for some people and so, through actions, it must be continuously...fed to the people you love if you want the relationship to last.
Love can, in some ways, change people for a lifetime, and for most people it gives them a 360 degree makeover. Therefore, when you marry someone, then you have to be mindful of the fact that they might need the reassurance that you love them so that they do not miss their old life that was free of expectations from anyone. Until people get married, they probably don't expect that much love from people, but when they get married, they count on the person who will be with them until their last breath. When you fail to show it because of busy schedules or because of your introversion then it leads to a weak marriage in which there is no maintenance of wartmth in the marriage. The love has to be created and then maintained through small gestures. No matter how reserved people are and no matter how much people pretend like they don't need love ( like Asad), they are still people and they need to be convinced everyday so I really wish that some guys and girls on our planet were more expressive and romantic because love is pure magic that can change every aspect of someones life. If you can provide it to someone then it's not justa good deed, but really satisfying because you will get it in return too!!
Edited by AshRun - 12 years ago

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