Chapter 3
"Babies, get ready. Papa will be here any moment."
"Yes, mamma." they shouted in unison.
Aarti felt nervous excitement course through her. It's been a while since she had seen him. The only time she sees him nowadays is at the children's parties. But it was better that way. The less they see of each other the better.
She heard a car pull up and knew it was him.
"Naina, please can you take the kids out to their father."
"Yes. ma'am."
It was unusual for him to come here. Ansh spent every second weekend with his father but normally he would go straight from school with Arpita and the twins. But Arpita could not make it that day. She was the perfect mom. She was on the governing body of the school, ran the tuck shop, was the class rep for Ansh and the twin's classes. She would pick up the kids and make sure their homework was done as well as that they had their lunch, then she would bring Ansh home when Aarti got home from the office. Often he even slept over at SM or when she came to drop off Ansh, the twins decided that they wanted to sleep over at Aarti mummy's place.
Today, Arpita had a meeting with the other ladies on the committee at the NGO that she sponsored, so she asked Aarti is she could come home early and collect the kids and then Yash could pick them up later.
There was an awkward silence after she asked that question. They both knew why and they both know why Aarti and Yash usually would make excuses not being together, especially not alone.
In the crazy mess that was their lives, Arpita was the voice of sanity. She was the one that made this family. She was the one that came to Aarti and asked if she could be part of her son;s life, a second mother after Ansh was born. And she was. She was the one that stayed with her and helped her when she came home from hospital with a colicky baby that cried non-stop. She was the one that took her the follow gynae and paediatric visits. And even when her own babies were born a year later, she never treated Ansh any differently. He was her son as much as he always was since birth. And Ansh acknowledged her as his mother. He loved his baby brother and sister and as they grew up, they wanted to be with their bhayia all the time, so it turned out that Aarti was as much a mother to the twins as Arpita was to Ansh.
Aarti was not welcome at SM. Thus they could not even have a children's parties there. Yash insisted that Aarti be there as well as the children only knew that they had two mothers and would not understand that Aarti was not present at their birthdays. So the compromise was to host the parties away from home.
Arpita was a true angel. Aarti could not fathom how her heart could be so big. She was the only friend she had, yet she knew that Aari was completely in love with her husband and the feeling was mutual. She also trusted them not to act on their feelings. Even her family disowned her after they found out she was pregnant. Even then, Arpita and Yash went to her parents to talk to her family and to explain things and to convince them to forgive Aarti and to get to know their grandson. According to Arpita, her mother softened but her father was absolutely unwavering. She had shamed them and was no longer welcome in his home and no longer was a member of his family and neither her bas***d son.
The Scindiya's had no choice but to accept Ansh as Yash's heir. He would not have it any other way. He was his first born and he would be his heir, be it that he inherits from the Scindiya fortune or just what his father earned, the decision had been made. And they would not let Yash leave the family or the business. They even forgave him for his huge faux pas, impregnating a poor village girl.
The times that she saw him at the parties and school functions and sport events were unbearable. She stayed as far away from him as possible. She barely even looked in his direction. It was just too painful. Nothing has changed her feelings for him. Not the fact that he was married and had a family or the fact that he was totally out her reach. She was still hopelessly in love with him. The fact that they shared a son, made that love even stronger.
She went to stand at the curtain just trying to get a glimpse of him. He was even more handsome now than he was when they were together 7 Years ago. The contours of his face was now more mature more rugged. His body was more defined and buff. According to Arpita, he worked out often. She watched as he got out the car wearing a jeans, white shirt and a black formal jacket, with a pair of sunglasses. He was still the sexiest man alive to her. More sexy as her opened his arms to three busy little monkeys that was so excited at the rare treat of being fetched by their papa. He was such a good father to them and it made her love him all the more. She was glad that he was her children's father even though she could not be with him. She smiled to herself at the beautiful sight of them.
He looked up sensing her. The smile on his face faded as he looked at her. She moved the curtain away ever so slightly to look at them. He saw the smile on her face. The moment she noticed him, the smile left her face and it changed to something else. He was now familiar with that expression. It pained him and made him happy at the same time. He knew they felt the same. The hurt was unbearable, but the love was all encompassing. It was mutual. He knew she still loved him despite the fact that he was married and had children, despite the fact that she had been married to his best friend. The marriage only lasted about 2 years and now Prashant was re-married to Neda, the woman he had an affair with in their marriage. Hence them not being friends anymore. Despite the fact that he could not honour her by marrying her when she came to tell him she was expecting their baby. By then he was already married to Arpita.
He had made this mess. And now his punishment was to be separated from the love of his life. His son was not with him full time as a result and now that the twins were older they stayed wherever there bhayia was. So they too were separated from him at times.
After she found out about the engagement she didn't want anything to do with him. He called, went to her dorm, waited for her outside her classes but she ignored him. She would not accept his explanations. She had lost total trust in him. Even Prashant had no luck with her. He called her repeatedly as well but she wanted nothing to do with either of them. He was so worried about her. She was all alone now. She had no one. She had not really made friends because she was always with him and Prashant. He did not want to leave her here alone when he went back to India. He knew he had to leave her but he was going to be in contact with her, but after the engagement fiasco, there would obviously be no contact.
Then he had a brainwave. He left a message under her dorm room door, telling her that he was going to kill himself. He was going to take an overdose of sleeping tablets and would be dead in a few hours. As expected she rushed over to his apartment in a panic. She still had a key and ran through to his bedroom. He locked the door behind her so she could not leave. She was livid. He was a bit distracted as she was so sexy when she was mad.
"Baby, please just listen. That's all I want. Then I will let you go."
"What is there to say Yash?"
"I am sorry. I made a mistake. I should have told you that I was engaged from the outset. But from the first time I met you, I knew there was something special about you. I didn't even know what it was. But I just knew that I wanted you with me. I didn't want anything to jeopardise that."
"When we started having a relationship at least you should have told me."
"I thought I had time. I was going to tell my parents that I wanted to break the engagement after the graduation. I just didn't want to be called home before then. I don't love her Aarti. It was arranged by our parents. I will call it off. Now. I won't wait any longer."
"It's too late, Yash. You cheated on both of us and you lied to me. Every time you spoke of our future together. You lied to me. You deceived me. I would never have gotten involved with you, lived with you had I known about your fiance. How can I trust you now? How do I know that you will really break the engagement? Will you really go against your family for me? Besides the fact that I can't trust you, how can I expect you to do that? I won't come between you and your family."
"I love you Aarti. I will do what I need to do for us to be together."
"It's not that simple, Yash! Living here is different than being home. What do you not understand about this? There is no future for us. It was stupid of me to think that there could be. We are not meant to be. Let me go so that we can both go on with the lives were meant to lead."
"I won't accept that. I know you love me as much as I love you."
"I have never denied that Yash. My love for you or yours for me is not the issue here. You are an intelligent man. An intellectual. You have done an MBA. Your results are exceptional, you are soon going to running a successful company. You are brilliant at analysing things, yet in this you won't see the facts that are staring you right in the face."
"I am a problem solver Aarti. There is no problem without a solution. To me this one isn't either. You are the only obstacle in this."
"Stop Yash! Just stop! I can't take this anymore. It's too painful." she stumbled backwards against the wall and started to sink down to the floor as she started sobbing.
He rushed to her and gathered her into his arms. His own tears spilling over her as they cried in each other's arms. The pain and fear of losing each other was overwhelming. He lifted his head from her and looked her in the eyes. He wiped her tears. As if he could wipe the pain away. Then he kissed. This time with an unfamiliar passion brought on by his desperation to hold on to his love. She hardly recognised the feelings that she was experiencing but she couldn't let go as she responded to with equal passion. She gave in to those feelings. She couldn't stop even if she wanted to. She could not deny herself the opportunity of being one with him. No thought was given to anything but just the moment they were in. Captured by emotions and desire that they might never have access to again in their lives.
He never wanted this. He always intended to honour her and make her his bride before his lover. He knew she was innocent. Even while they were living together and sleeping in the same bed, he kept their love play to a minimum. He did not want awaken desires in her prematurely. But he was beyond control. When he had her in his arms he wanted to keep her there. Make her his in every way. Her responses to him were passionate. She gave herself to him completely. She touched him, kissed him and invited his touch and his love. Even before her entered her, he stopped and looked at her and the consent he saw in her eyes were unmistakable. Even the pain that he knew she felt was inconsequential compared to the pleasure and love that she exuded. He was overwhelmed. He loved her so much. He wanted her to feel as much as he was. He was gentle and passionate at the same time. Her expression and response to him when she reached climax was beyond what words could describe and he knew she felt it too. They held each other and cried in the aftermath. Desperate for this perfect moment never to end.
The next morning he woke and she was gone. He called her and she answered.
"Aarti ..."
"Last night was a mistake. We can't see each other again. Please don't contact me again Yash. It's best for all concerned."
"But we love each other."
"Good bye, Yash."
He was devastated, but he decided to give her time. He graduated and went back to India to start working. He contacted her again after a month but she still would not respond to his calls or messages. He even confronted his family with the information that he wanted to break the engagement and marry someone else. As expected this caused major contention in his family. They were longstanding friends with Arpita's family and they did not want to be embarrassed by what they termed "his infatuation with the poor village girl". They naturally assumed that she was a gold digger, no matter how much he tried to convince them otherwise.
Against his parents' wishes, he spoke to Arpita and explained his situation to her.
"Arpita, I am so sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you but I can't marry you. I am in love with someone else."
"It's Aarti isn't it? The girl I met at your apartment."
"How did you know?"
"As much as you three tried to hide it, it was fairly obvious that there was something between you two."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't want a confrontation and I wasn't sure if you were in love or if she was just a passing interest."
"You would have been ok with her being a passing interest?"
"You have been in the USA a long time. I am not ignorant. I didn't expect that you would lead a celibate life. Especially not there. But I still wanted to marry you. I have been prepared for it since my early teens."
"And now what will you do."
"Yash, life goes on. I won't stand in the way of you and the woman that you love. I would not be beneficial for any one of us."
"You are an amazing person Arpita. I know you will find someone special that is meant for you."
She just smiled as he hugged her and left.
He started his pursuing of Aarti again but she kept shooting him down. Till one day, about 3 month after her saw her that last time, he was surprised to get a call from her.
"Yash, I need to talk to you."
"You can talk to me anytime, Aarti."
"No, I have to talk to you in person."
"Aarti, you are making me nervous."
"Can you come the USA?"
"No, I can't get away now, but I can book a flight for you and arrange accommodation for you here in Mumbai. I will let you have the flight details as soon as I can arrange it."
3 days later he was standing at the hotel room door. He was so anxious. He was almost petrified. He knocked on the door and she opened.
The stood looking at each other for a while. Just taking in the sight of each other. They had missed each other so much. The fell into each other arms, just holding each other tightly. Again tears were falling.
"How are you, baby?"
She took a deep breath.
"I don't know."
"What did you want to talk to me about?"
She turned around and spoke with her back to him.
"I don't know how to say it so I am just going to say it. I am pregnant."
He was silent.
Eventually she turned around.
"Yash, aren't you going to say anything?"
He put his hand through his hair.
"I can tell you aren't happy. I am sorry I bothered you." she said her heart broke into a million pieces.
He came to her and held her tightly.
"Aarti, there is nothing I want more than our baby. I love you so much. And until a week ago it would have the best news that I could have received."
"And now?" she said apprehensively.
"Aarti ..." he said the tears now freely flowing.
"Say it Yash. Just say it." She felt her heart grip with fear.
"I am married."
She looked at him in disbelief and then suddenly she ran to the bathroom and vomited profusely. He kept hovering around her, holding her hair.
"Baby, are you alright. Do you need a doctor?"
Finally she was done. She rinsed her mouth and looked at him.
"I thought you said you loved me. That you would wait for me?"
"I do love you. It just happened."
"Your marriage just happened."
"Aarti, the last time we spoke I was so hurt and angry by your response and I made a bad decision. And my parents kept piling on the pressure. I asked Arpita to marry me the very next day. I thought I was finished with you. But I have regretted my decision even before we got married. I just did not want to reject her again. Especially since she asked me repeatedly that it was what I wanted and that I really didn't believe there was a future for us. Only after I convinced her of this she agreed to marry me. But she knows that I still love you. She married me anyway."
Aarti was devastated.
"What do I know now Yash? I can't go back to the USA. My family won't accept me back. I will have to drop out of my course and I will have to pay back the scholarship. I have nowhere to live. I have no means to look after this child!" she shouted desperately.
"Baby don't stress about any of that. I will get a place for you to live, I will pay back your scholarship. I will get you the best doctor and you will never lack. I will ask Arpita for an annulment."
"Annulment? Does that mean ..."
"Yes. I could not get myself to consummate the marriage yet."
She closed her eyes and the tears fell down her cheeks again.
"You can't do that to her. She doesn't deserve it. You have to stay with her Yash. She is your wife. She will be hurt and humiliated if you leave her."
"And you? Do you deserve this? Will this be easy on you? Doing this pregnancy alone? Being a single parent?"
"I can do it. I have to. There is no other way."
"Aarti, I will speak to Arpita. I will explain."
"Yes, you speak to Arpita. You will tell her about the baby but you will not ask her for an annulment. You will honour your vows to her. You will be the husband that she deserves. In every way. It must be hard on her as it is knowing her husband is in love with someone else, but having her marriage annulled in our society will be unbearable. If you really love me you will do this."
"You know I love you. So how can you ask that of me? How can you ask me not to be with you and our baby?"
"You will have access to the baby. But not to me. You are married."
She grabbed his hand and put it on her stomach.
"Promise me on our child's life that you will be a good husband to Arpita. Promise me Yash. Promise."
"Baby please, don't make me do this."
"Promise me."
After a long silence, he nodded head. He was too emotional to speak and she understood this so she didn't press him.
"I love you Yash. I have from the moment I met you. I looked forward to being with you and having our children. At least that one prayer is answered. And now that I don't have my family anymore, at least I have my baby. Our baby. It will be fine. Don't worry about me."
"You can't stop me from worrying about you and our baby. Not even I can do that. But I will do as you ask. But I will look after you as best I can."
And he did. He got her a townhouse in a complex so that she had neighbours close by. She had a live in helper so that she wasn't alone. Her gave her a monthly allowance, yet still continued to buy things for her and the baby. Yet , practically the only time he saw her was for her check-ups during the next 6 months before Ansh's birth.
He broke the news to Arpita first. She was clearly hurt. She asked if he was going to leave her and he assured her that he was committed to her and their marriage. All the while having Aarti's promise in his mind. Her response was that it was done and she would accept his child. They then told their parents together. Both his parent and in laws were livid and more convinced than ever that Aarti was a gold digger that set out to trap their son. He could obviously not speak about his baby's conception so they would not understand. His parents wanted him to cut all ties with Aarti and the baby and basically pay her off. He refused. He had every intention to be part of his baby's life and no one would stop him in this. There were arguments and threats from both his and his parent's sides. But Arpita always supported him. She was prepared to walk away from the family with basically nothing if that was what he was going to do. And it was what he was about to do but his family caved finally and agreed that his son would be his heir and would be welcomed in the Scindiya home.
He looked forward to the days that she had her pre-natal check-ups. At least he could spend some time with her. He would pick her up and take her to the doctor. He was with her for the scans. Watching how the baby was growing inside was awesome. Those were the days that he was happiest. Sometimes he asked her if they could have a bit to eat but she never agreed. He understood why. He shouldn't have been asking. He should have known better, but the temptation to extend his time with her was too strong, so he had to try.
He really grew to care for Arpita. They even consummated their marriage. He tried his best but it was just not the same. And he felt like he was cheating on Aarti. But he promised her that he would be a true husband to Arpita and he would honour that promise. And he knew that Arpita needed that affirmation. It was clear that she loved him. She put up with so much from him and with him. Her family was prepared to take her back home when the news about the baby broke but she chose to stay and support him. She asked him regularly about the progress of the baby and how Aarti was doing. And he tried as best he could to tell her without giving away his emotions. But he wasn't too successful where that was concerned.
And even though he was with his wife his desire for Aarti never decreased and they had that one indiscretion, that one moment of weakness that made them feel incredibly guilty and happy at the same time.
It was a whole sequence of events that created an opportunity for them to be together. Arpita had gone away with her family to a family wedding in Hydrebad. His family was going to go on annual pilgrimage for a few days, and he was supposed to accompany them, but one of their big clients called an impromptu meeting. His father asked him to stay as he knew more about the account than anyone else.
He had just got out of the meeting when he saw some missed calls form Sunaina, Aarti's helper. He called back in a hurry.
"Sir, the madam has fainted but now she is awake but she doesn't want to go to the doctor. She didn't even want me to call you."
"Ok I will come now."
He went there and took her to the doctor but everything was fine, her blood pressure was just on the low side. And he took her back home.
"Aarti where is Sunaina?"
"She left to be with her family for two days. They have a wedding."
"How could you allow this? You can't be alone now."
"I will be fine."
"No, I will stay here."
"You can't Yash." She said sadly.
"I know I shouldn't but I cannot leave you here alone in this condition. You already fainted today."
"Yash ..."
"Nothing will happen. I am staying." He said.
She swallowed and got up.
"I will make supper." she said in resignation.
He went to his car and took out his laptop and went to the kitchen and started working as she was cooking. Then he suddenly he had an idea, he put on some music, the ones that he knew she would like and out of his own volition as usual her hips started moving. Even at 8 months pregnant it was still a very sexy sight and brought a smile to his face. She suddenly stopped and looked around at him. He shrugged his shoulders and she just shook his head at him and continued to cook and dance.
It was a comfortable silence. He pretended to work but was actually watching her more than working. And again she was oblivious to him as she was caught up in her version of cooking.
They ate and chatted about the baby. His work, his family. His wife. She repeatedly mentioned her as if she wanted to remind both of them of her existence. That night he "slept" in the spare room but every second he was aware of how close she was. And it was with everything in his being that he stopped himself from going to her room.
The next morning he made sure that she was ok and went home to change and then to the office. He packed an overnight bag to stay the night at her place again. He was wary of his own feelings though. He didn't trust himself alone with her. So he worked late. He went to her house and unlocked the door as he had his own key. The house was quiet and he was worried that she might have fainted or something again, so he went to her room. He was awestruck by what he saw when he opened the door. She must have just gotten out of the shower and was standing and looking herself in the mirror, her hands on top and below her tummy. She was completely nude.
She saw him in the mirror and just stood there gazes held them captive. He walked to her and encircled her with his arms from behind,
"Absolutely stunning."
"Yash ..."
"I know, I can't stop myself. You are so beautiful my love. I love you more than ever," he rubbed her tummy gently. As of on que the baby started kicking.
"And it seems that our baby loves you too."
"And his mamma?"
"She is still madly in love with you." she said sadly.
He turned her around and hugged her tightly. Then he lifted her head and kissed her. He lifted her and carried her to the bed. Their eyes never leaving each other. It felt like de javu. Like the first time they made love, knowing what they did was wrong, but desperate for a moment of happiness. Once again choosing not to think further than the now.
Afterwards the remorse came.
"We did a terrible thing, Yash." She said holding him tightly.
"I know." he said keeping her equally tightly.
"She must never know. She doesn't deserve this"
"I know baby. She is such a good person. I wished everything worked out differently. I wished that we were married and Arpita found someone that loves her as much as she loves me, but this is our reality. And I swear I never planned this. I just wanted to take care of you. I never wanted this to happen. Not at the expense of hurting Arpita. I have really been trying to be a good husband to her, my love. But she knows that I will never love her like I love you. If she finds out about this she will be devastated."
"Yes. I don't think we should ever be alone again, sweetheart."
"I agree. But I just want to be with you tonight?" it was a statement and a question.
Her reply was to initiate a passionate kiss. She was still sleeping when he left the next morning, obviously tired from their love making that lasted till the early hours of the morning. He kissed her forehead and rubbed her chin and told her how much he loved her before he left.
The next time he saw her after that was at Ansh's delivery. He wanted to share his son's birth experience with her. Especially knowing that it would probably be the only thing that they would share together for the rest of their lives.
She called him and he rushed her to the hospital. She was in labour for 24 hours and finally delivered Ansh naturally, with an epidural. He cut the umbilical cord and after the nurse gave the baby to him, he put him on her chest. The happily looked at each other. He kissed her.
She finally went to the maternity ward. He sat next her on the bed, dotingly looking at his son in the cot.
"Despite everything that has happened Aarti, our son will always remain a blessing."
"Yes, just like you, he is my answered prayer. When we were together I always prayed for us to be together forever and to have healthy babies. Well I didn't get the first part, but I am so happy to have our baby. He was created in love. Not matter what anyone says and what his birth status is."
"Yes darling, he was created in love and he has cemented my love for you even more. I hope you know that."
"I do" she said and looked at him with all the love in her heart." and he hugged her.
"Excuse me" they heard.
The jumped apart.
"Arpita, what are you doing here." said Yash.
"I came to see the baby. If you don't mind Aartiji." She had flowers in her hand and a gift bag.
"No, please come in." said Aarti. It was the first time Aarti had seen her since the USA.
She came in and looked at the baby.
"Oh, he is just perfect."
She looked at up them and it was clear that they felt quite awkward.
"Congratulations Yashji, Aaritji. You are truly blessed. These flowers are for you and gift is for the baby. What will you call him?"
"Ansh" said Yash and Aarti together.
"Ansh Yash Scindiya. That is a good name."
"Thank you" said Aarti.
"If you need anything at any time, please don't hesitate to ask Aartiji. I will go now. See you at home Yashji."
"Thank you for coming Arpitaji." said Aarti as Arpita left.
They both felt terrible.
"Yash ..." she said.
"I know. When you leave the hospital things will go back to the way it was. But for now, I just want to spend time with you and Ansh." He said embracing her again, knowing his time with his family would be over too soon.
She was going to be discharged the next day.
"Yash, when you come to fetch me tomorrow, if she wants to, bring Arpita along."
He looked disappointed.
"I feel the same baby, but it is the right thing to do."
"Fine."
She came. They stayed the whole day and she helped Aarti and held the baby. She even started discussing the naming ceremony. Aarti left that in her hands. When Yash wasn't around the ladies had a discussion.
"Aaritji, I never had an opportunity to thank you."
"Thank me for what?"
"I know Yash would not have stayed with me unless you insisted. I know how much he loves you. I know that even now he would give anything to be with you and his son."
"Arpitaji, no ..."
"Aartiji, I just want us to clear the air. I love him. I always have. It was always set out for us to get married. And I was prepared to wait for him because I love him. I knew there was something between you when I came to USA. I admired him for coming to me and telling me that he loves you and that he wanted to marry you. And yes, I should not have married him when I knew how deep his feelings for you were, but I convinced myself that what he was saying was true. That there is no future for the two of you. Though in my heart I knew differently. I know when he has been with you without him telling me you know. He goes silent for a long time. And just let him get out of it in his own time. But he tries to be a good husband and I appreciate his efforts. Aartiji, can I ask you another favour please. I know you might not like the idea but I think it will be good for our Anshu."
"You can ask."
"I want to be involved his life. I want to a second mom to him. That way it will make it so much easier for Yash and him to spend time together."
Aarti was apprehensive. Ansh was all she had now.
"You can think about it. I don't intend to usurp you place as his mother, I just want a bit of his love. He is part of Yash after all."
"I will think about it Arpitaji."
"Thank you."
Arpita cam every day after that to help with the baby. And when it was apparent that Ansh had colic and Aarti was at her wits end as she hardly had a wink of sleep in a week, Arpita stayed with her at night so that she could at least get some sleep.
Aarti agreed that she could be fully part of her son's life and when they had the naming ceremony, at Aarti's house, the two mother sat together as their baby was blessed.
Book Talk
Aami Daakini
