Yash's Diary Entries - Update pg 5

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

anonee

@anonee

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: aparnabalajee
very beautifully penned. keep it up.

Thank you my dear😊😆🤗

Quote

Ahandu

@AngeloScuro

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#32

I like that these are so direct thoughts unlike Arti's which kind of meander.😆 All I'm saying is I hope to see different mindspaces of two different characters.😃

Edited by AngelDark - 12 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

anonee

@anonee

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#33

Originally posted by: AngelDark
I like that these are so direct thoughts unlike Arti's which kind of meander.😆 All I'm saying is I hope to see different mindspaces of two different characters.😃

Thanks Angel!!😊

Yash is always direct - so I have worked with the assumption that is his way of thinking. 😉😆

Quote

anonee

@anonee

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#34

Yash's entry in his diary Dec 2, 2012

OK dear diary I am back – and this is how I am going to tackle the "truth" compulsion that is driving my brain in loops. The good news is the therapist said that I've already won half the battle when I realize a "compulsion" attack and work to wrestle with it. Next he had told me I need to follow the below steps:

Step 1: Try to define the concept or thought that is causing your mind to go into a rut/loops.

Step 2: Make a decision about what is actually bothering you – the issue itself.

Step 3: Stick with the decision and do not give in to the compulsion! If you have to, push the boundaries and do the opposite of what your compulsive thought tells you!

So here is what I think is bothering me – the need for me to be honest and by extension for Aartiji to be honest with me. Why is Aartiji's silence bothering me? Is it fair of me to expect her to tell me everything? On numerous occasions I have told her she can trust me but have I played the role of a trustworthy husband?

The truth is I have never defined our relationship as anything more than co-parents because…..I felt no one could take Arpita's place in my heart! But Aarti is as dear to me as Arpita or even more……….I never imagined Aartiji would have such a profound effect on me! Her enchanting eyes always mesmerize and sweep me into a delightful trance, oblivious of my surroundings, forgetting my grief over Arpita. In fact it is she and her ways that have liberated me from my inner tyranny over Arpita's death! She has brought back the joy within me, a unique state of awareness and self-confidence. She makes me feel renewed, invigorated, and on top of the world. Yes, I owe this sense of renewal – of buoyance to her!! She is my inspiration – my confidence. And what do I want for her?

I know I only want Aarti to be happy in life and succeed with whatever she wishes. I want to work hard for her..her joy..to keep that smile on her face! If I lost her..I would feel like I lost a part of myself..and I would cease to live too. And no matter where she is my feelings for her tug at my heart and I want to be with her and share my life with her. Surely this is love…..this is not how it happened with Arpita nor is what I have read in books but yes what I feel is love. I need to confess this to Aartiji... my love for her and that our relationship means more than co-parenting to me. When I see her the first words I will utter are ILU……..and let her know that from now on, we shall make our journey together as husband and wife in the true sense!!

Will she open up and reveal her secrets to me? Wow hold on, am I not carrying a big secret that I refuse to divulge to anyone in the family. I am keeping my mouth shut and not saying a lie; I am pushing boundaries and saying half-truths (shoving my compulsions aside) to save Prateek. Surely there must a similar reason for Aarti to hide secrets and tell me half-truths? Well right now that is not important … what is important is that I tell her I love her and will always be honest with her!! Ah, I can now breathe a sigh of relief – my head is finally clear, thanks to the 3 step method of that therapist.

Our married life has been thus far a joyful romance and henceforth Aarti and I can be together as husband and wife to keep it that way!!

Edited by anonee - 12 years ago

Quote

rutu83

@rutu83

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#35

awesome👏

can you pm whenever you do future update please?

Quote

anonee

@anonee

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: rutu83
awesome👏
can you pm whenever you do future update please?

Thank you -😊

Please press the like button - I will PM all those whose names appear there!😆

Quote

Mohini Singh Narayan

@MSN_Vanny

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#37

Dearest Meena(Anonee), that update was certainly a pleasure to read! You have captured Yash's inner turmoil in such a stunning way that I couldn't help but see things from his perspective! 👏👏 Loved the last sentence to bits!