Yash's Diary Entries - Update pg 5

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anonee

@anonee

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

Dear Friend

Today I wrote the first entry in Yash's diary. I hope to update this too from time to time.

Here is the link to Aarti's diary entries: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/punar-vivah/3318388/aartis-diary-entries-updated-pg-7

Hope you enjoy!!.

If you do like it - please comment and press the like button.

THANK YOU😊😆

Index

Yash's diary entry Nov 30, 2012...Page 1

Yash's diary entry Dec 2, 2012...Page 5

Edited by anonee - 12 years ago

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anonee

@anonee

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

Yash's entry in his diary Nov 30, 2012

I do not know how I feel about today. It was a day of conflicting emotions and then some because of my kambakkht OCD or should I say compulsive honesty?

The day for me started when Aartiji held on to my hand as I walked away from her. She was asleep and yet sensed my presence and held on to me. That made my heart that was heavy at her ignoring the pictures that I had put up the previous day explode with joy and I sat beside her and confessed all that I felt for her. She was asleep and did not hear me – but that did not bother me a bit! Once I poured my heart out, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside – a feeling of complete contentment. And then later in the morning when she walked into the living room her eyes conveyed all that I wanted to hear. I so wanted to talk to her – but she silenced me with a promise for the evening. Since that moment my day took a 180 degree turn. First Pari's court case and the secret I hid from all and then that garage mechanic!! What did he say – Aartiji was out the previous day with another man - and the car had broken down? No wonder she came at 11:00 pm and was all silent – but she told me she was visiting Ansh. Why would she take some man other than me or Dupeyji to visit Ansh. Well did Pari not do something similar. But Aarthi is not Pari!!! There is something going on here. In fact there has been something going on for a long time. Her going to the Dupeys on Karwa Chauth and then her refusing to tell me she knows my friend P when I bring him over. Ohh well too many things are amiss!!

What is Aarti hiding from me? She knows I would protect her with my life – I cannot live without her!! I would help her with what is troubling her. Oh can't she be honest with me. And there goes my OCD and moral compulsions into action making me all messed up! I've got a thing about telling the truth... and I know Aarti ain't telling me one and many more! Now this thought has got into me that she is not telling me the truth and this is turning my obsessive mind into loops. I will keep examining everything she says and then repeatedly ask her to be honest to me………….I'll get caught in a rut!! Gosh! this stuff really does stress me out!!

And then there is Pari………………..thank goodness so far I have not said a lie regarding the MMS. If I did say a lie then I will need to apologize in order to feel like an honest person again. I cannot relax until I confess and tell the truth. The therapist I consulted during my college days told me that because I am moralistic and religious person, my 'attacks' or compulsions are things that matter to me - morality, truth, forgiveness for not keeping a promise and from sin, etc. Now let me think ……….what did the therapist say I should practice when I get these attacks……………..? I need to consult his notes and get back!