Thank you every one for putting very constructive thoughts on the thread..
Going through all of them I have conclude that we all think that Gayatri was totally wrong with her motives to punish Ansh out of his capacity and traumatize the 5 year child with this severe punishment.
Her concept of teaching the child at this age and making him realize his mistake was right but her motive in taking this severe action was not right..
now coming to Aarti and her upbrining of Ansh...
She has pretty much done the good job but it has little flaws in that she did not discipline the child properly..
Yes she did says that Ansh did your mom teach you this way? or she says Ansh we cannot do this things..
but Ansh repeatedly does the same thing so it means that she did not put little bit more pressure to let him learn those things..
Also everytime Ansh listens to her only when she says Ansh we cannot do this or Ansh do not do this then only Ansh does what his mom says. But he does not find it in himself that he is doing something wrong.
Yes I am a mother too and I also agree that to train your child with good etiquettes you need to train them when they are young. Yes Ansh is a boy and pretty headstrong and he needs to be taught the proper etiquettes at this age itself.
As a mother I would never allow my son to speak out of his turn to any elders. I do not speak against them and my son would not do it either.
Now take the incident they showed in the begining.. When Pratik went to their house and Aarti came out with a hockey stick and was being rude to Pratick. And the way she was telling Pratik Ansh exactly repeated those words after her and at that time or later Aarti did not say a word to him that he cannot do that...
Many times they have shown that Ansh was out of his line but at the same time they did not show that Aarti or Shobha tought him something.. telling a child not to do this and never make him understand why he cannot do it that way is not going to help the child as he would never realize that something he is doing is totaly wrong and he simply cannot do it. At that time only a child need to learn in a nice way that he cannot speak like that or he cannot behave like that as those behavior does not come in the "good category" and as he is good boy he cannot do that and he has to keep that "good boy" image if he wants his new dad or if he wants his momy to smile or be proud of him or many other things a 5 year kid would want...
Yes when Ansh does something Aarti asks him... did your mother teach you that way??? now if you really taught him such stuff then why would your child repeat it all the time. and if your child repeats it then you need to be more strict and teach him those stuff again..
Yes Ansh is just a kid but he has reached the age where he needs to know what he is doing right or wrong..
Yes the kid is possessive of his mom and does not want his new dad to kiss his mom... understandable but the way he went about to put that pin on the sofa so that his new dad will stay away from his mom was horrible. It was really dangerous and he needed to be taught a good lesson on that.
Dragging him to the family room and making him asking forgiveness was not enough. He needed to make understand what he did wrong. Yes Aarti just told him in the dining room what he did wrong and what Yash had to go through but that speech was not meant for 5 year old kid it was just a dialogues for an audience.
From that speech and his mother dragging to the family room... the kid only understood that he is going to get punishment from that "fat dadi" . He was not repentant of his deeds but was only worried that now that "fat dadi" who does not like me will add another mistake in the list and punish..
and exactly the same thing happen...
Aarti should have waited to make him understand what he did wrong in private and then let him go by himself to his new papa first asking the forgiveness...
Dragining him to the family room in her righteous mood was not the right thing.. The child did not learn anything from that but only had a feeling that his mother is doing wrong draggin him in front of all. He was trying to save himself and once Yash forgave him he was ok and started smiling..
Also he said that new papa has forgiven him so it was ok but out of it he learned nothing..
So though I do believe in Aarti's process of dealing with the child but she still needs to bring that element of discipline in her training..
and I absolutely do not believe in the method of Gayatri... Her concepts are ok but her methods has no connection with her concept
as she is very judgmental and forgets the line between right training and prejudice.
I rather like Pa Schindhia who knows what he is doing and puts the pressure on the rightime and with right attitude as he is not judgmental at all. When he needed to tell Aarti that she needs to adapt with the ways of Scindhia he told her in a light manner with the example Aarti quoted and with the right pressure as the head of the house without any prejudice or malice..
Where as Gayatri has no brain to think anything rationally so she just gets instigated even by 4-5 years old kid... earlier also we have seen her she was being swayed by buvaji and by many those ladies who comes to visit.
That is why even though she has a great status of being the mother of three great sons and a wife of a great husband but she does not have that respects from her children and none from her husband.
As she loves to float in vain glory and not confess her flaws and hides behind falls attitude. Even the servant of the house makes fun of her forgetfulness as she never confesses that she has that flaw..
It is said it is better to have a smart foe then a foolish friend.
So I would love to be chided by Pa Scindhia and learn from him but I would stay away from Gayatri as she is a fool and does not know what she is doing.. Even the smart mouth Parhidhi makes a fool of her in front of all her children and she never could realize that.
Now Paridhi would not dare to pull that trick with Pa Scindhia.. as he will cut her tirade in the middle and give his verdict with a sincere and grave voice and also tell her that he expects her to follow it..
Edited by evasumi - 13 years ago
Shiv Shakti
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
