Anandi's dealing with Shekhars

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: tinoo

The fact that he does it for his family's happiness does not absolve him of culpability.

He had to ensure that BOTH family and wife would be happy with his actions.
Doing something for his family at the expense of his wife's happiness does not make him more right than saanchi.

But that is the Colors theory always - you have to marry out of zabardasti - never out of love. and if you do - it has to end up in a disaster as did Jagya-Gauri.

ANSH is rare that way. Shiv married for love - but Anandi insisted she married not for love but for the promise she had to make to her dying mother and DS.

Was that fair to Shiv ? shud she have married ? Knowing that ghosts of her past with Jagya wud not let her rest easy ?

But - can't complain as Shiv was the picture of understanding and Anandi is the lead and hence can do no wrong. 😳

Edited by hooked - 12 years ago

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: tinoo

While I agree with the technical aspects of your arguments in terms of the differences between saanchi and Jagya's individual approaches to their engagement and forthcoming marriage...

I don't agree with the spirit of Jagya's intentions at all, and those intentions dont make him any more noble than saanchi nor any less crooked than saanchi.

Even if he was doing something for his family, he was still overlooking the commitment he needed to make for his future wife. The fact that he was doing it for his family does not give him license to make a girl unhappy.

When he chose gauri, he chose the girl over his family's happiness. fair enough he tried to rectify the mistake in the second round... and choose the family over the girl. But that doesn't mean he can swing the other end of the pendulum and make a girl unhappy.

He knew that he was not able to reciprocate saanchi's affections or her feelings so what sort of meaningless marriage would it be (for her) if he was "forcing himself for his family'.
He knew he couldn't stand her company for two minutes. He knew he didn't feel like kissing her even, let alone making love to her.

So at his age, knowing what he did about marriage et. al he has wronged saanchi.

The fact that he does it for his family's happiness does not absolve him of culpability.

He had to ensure that BOTH family and wife would be happy with his actions.
Doing something for his family at the expense of his wife's happiness does not make him more right than saanchi.

It is not about absolving his culpability.Both Sanchi and Jagya were wrong to get into this relationship and drag it this long with.Sanchi overlooking the fact that he did not like her and Jagya overlooking the fact that he could not like her.Both are wrong.

But the issue came up as to why Anandi chose to support Jagya over Sanchi.

This time Jagya in his own sloppy way was trying to do something right and his intention was not to hurt Sanchi and Anandi's support to him was justified.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#43

hooked, you are right that both ansh marriage and jagya-saanchi marriage were born out of a similar union where one is in love, and the other party is marrying out of family compulsion.

But there is a big difference. Anandi let shiv know very clearly why she was marrying him and she didn't mince any words about it. She told shiv very clearly she didn't love him but begged him to marry her to honour her promise to her dead mother. Shiv knew very clearly what he was getting into. He may not have known the specifics of how that would play out in terms of married life, but he KNEW the basis for their marriage.

Jagya on the other hand never conveyed to saanchi WHY he had agreed to the match (i.e. out of family compulsion or out of respect for anandi's saasra)... she naturally assumed that even though he didn't love her and her feelings for him were more than what he felt for her ... she assumed that atleast he had a preliminary LIKING for her ... that he found her attractive in some preliminary way to consider her as a wife.

Had he conveyed his reasons to saanchi for accepting the match, I would have no issues with Jagya.

So later on, when he was cold towards her, and not reciprocating, naturally she was puzzled. I dont fault her for that.

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: SEETHA.K
A thought provoking post skep !
Some sort of psychological disconnect is prevailing between Anandi and Shekhars...since beginning ! The strong connectivity between her and Shiv veiled the ground reality of this discomfort till now...but it seems not any more-- because of the habitual negative activism of Sanchi..will probably bring out this factor in future ! Again suspicion ...questioning ...proving... and finally ...approving ---another high drama to prolong the end !!

agree. Sanchi is the main reason for anandi's behaviour.
Sanchi is not sugna. Sugna was so kind to anandi.

And Ira is not DS. Ira herself is crooked.

The bond between anandi and shiv is much better and shiv encourages and respects anandi most of the time.

And the bond anandi has with BH is something too deep and shekhars must deserve to get that.

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#45

Nice to see Missesha once again after a long time.😊

Edited by leavesandwaves - 12 years ago

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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: tinoo
hooked, you are right that both ansh marriage and jagya-saanchi marriage were born out of a similar union where one is in love, and the other party is marrying out of family compulsion.
But there is a big difference. Anandi let shiv know very clearly why she was marrying him and she didn't mince any words about it. She told shiv very clearly she didn't love him but begged him to marry her to honour her promise to her dead mother. Shiv knew very clearly what he was getting into. He may not have known the specifics of how that would play out in terms of married life, but he KNEW the basis for their marriage.

Jagya on the other hand never conveyed to saanchi WHY he had agreed to the match (i.e. out of family compulsion or out of respect for anandi's saasra)... she naturally assumed that even though he didn't love her and her feelings for him were more than what he felt for her ... she assumed that atleast he had a preliminary LIKING for her ... that he found her attractive in some preliminary way to consider her as a wife.

Had he conveyed his reasons to saanchi for accepting the match, I would have no issues with Jagya.

So later on, when he was cold towards her, and not reciprocating, naturally she was puzzled. I dont fault her for that.

@bold, he would have been less guilty if he honestly tried to make this relationship work, even if he could not convey his reasons for agreeing to this marriage. For me, once someone makes a commitment of marriage (acceptance of rishta and also engagement), one should work towards the relationship- just like in arranged marriages, both boy and girl try to make the relationship successful even though initially they do not love each-other.

Anandi knew this fact- no effort from J's side and his attachment towards Ganga, still she never disclosed this to anybody while disclosing Sanchi's faults.

@blue- people did not mind this because Sanchi was such a bad character and even she somehow did not mind a cold J as long as he was going to marry her.

edited to add:

@Aparna, I agree that Jagya was trying to do something right - he decided to agree for this rishta for happiness of his family - but was not he doing something wrong with Sanchi? Did he ever thought how happy Sanchi will be with his attitude towards her? It is not that making his family is the best thing even if in the process some girl gets hurt (he did not want to hurt her but his actions were hurting her). We overlook this fact because of the way Sanchi's character has been shown. But the fact remains - the action of J was hurting his future wife and Anandi never told it to anyone while giving character certificate to J.

Edited by SPuja - 12 years ago

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#47

Thanks for replies.

I agree with your post on first page Aparna. Well explained. 😊

I agree that bond with Singhs is from childhood while with Shekhars it's like a conventional DIL and her relation is indeed only via Shiv. Hence differences exist.

Other things like dressing up or giving space to others etc. are subsidiary factors according to me. They matter but aren't the mainstay. Perhaps CVs want to show that a village girl can fit in anywhere perfectly while a city girl can't fit in easily.

The psychiatrist issue is not so different. It was not entirely a collective decision of Shekhars. All were reluctant and mainly Anandi was a convincing factor in it. I doubt if she'd have behaved like that in case of a Singh.

Also, Anandi's reaction to a Singh asking her to leave past aside would have been much different from her reaction to Meenu.

For Singhs maybe it's a better connection since they moulded Anandi, she grew up there and in process she also influenced them. For Shekhars it's just accepting their beloved scion's choice of a wife and not mind her much since she has good skills in housekeeping and is nice.

I think tender age must have made a difference considering Anandi used to do Singhs jaap even when she was sent to her parents' house for her teenage years till she turned 18. She was more interested in talking to puppets of Singhs than her own parents and friends! That probably shows impact of DS on her mind as a child.

I don't think Anandi will ever have such a bond with Shekhars even after years that if she's away from them then she talks to their photos or puppets! 😆

DS was a tyrant so we can't say Shekhars don't deserve Anandi's affections because of their behaviour. I am thinking age matters - hence justifying kachchi umar ke pakke rishte tagline.

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Anandi's dealing with Shekhars - Page 5

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