Anandi's dealing with Shekhars

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Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

After growing older wasn't Anandi more restrained and obedient in dealing with Singhs? Compared to her relationship with Shekhars?

When Jagya got distant from her, she didn't consult pundits or astro guys to do any upaay to get back her husband. She didn't even take suggestions from family in trying to get husband back. But she was ready to call a psychiatrist for Sanchi (her parents didn't call her!) because hospital doc had said it in general to all Shekhars?

She's giving medicines to Sanchi without her knowledge.

Would she have done such things for Singhs? Taken lead to call psychiatrists?

She obeyed DS unquestioningly even when DS laid down outlandish conditions. But didn't she disobey Ira by secretly attending to Ganga's and Sumitra's calls despite her warning?

She also testified for Jagya in court.

But never spoke a word against Singhs even when she was wronged and didn't file complaint against Jagya for cheating her when Bhairon insisted and law was also on her side.

If it was DS who'd asked her not to do something she'd have held herself back. But she ignored CM's stance and Shekhars' family secret did come out no?

Anandi used to keep Jagya's and Sugna's secrets in childhood and teenage (or youth). For how long did she keep Sanchi's deeds secret? Some stuff related to Sanchi was revealed by Jagya and also by Sanchi's own mistakes. Rest was revealed by Anandi, no?

Of course Anandi serves Shekhars all day, carrying trays, cleaning around, taking permission even to wear ghunghat or not and for her social work also. For some time she has kept their secrets (but not as long as she kept Singhs' secrets). And once she's taken a stand to EB everyone into forgiving Sanchi (like she gave her vaasta to Singhs to forgive Jagya on some occasions).

Still her obedience, servitude, understanding and loyalty to Shekhars is not as absolute and unconditional as it was for Singhs.

(Even when Shekhars told her in unison that she need not wear pallu on her head as it wasn't compulsory in their family, Anandi agreed to take off pallu but made it clear she won't part with it in presence of guests and outside. She accepted what they said only partly and laid out her own condition too. Doubt if she'd have behaved like that if DS had said something!)

Isn't there a difference in the way she behaves with Shekhars and Singhs?

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seetha74

@seetha74

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

A thought provoking post skep !

Some sort of psychological disconnect is prevailing between Anandi and Shekhars...since beginning ! The strong connectivity between her and Shiv veiled the ground reality of this discomfort till now...but it seems not any more-- because of the habitual negative activism of Sanchi..will probably bring out this factor in future ! Again suspicion ...questioning ...proving... and finally ...approving ---another high drama to prolong the end !!

Edited by SEETHA.K - 12 years ago

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

I feel Seetha, that no other connection in Anandi's life inspires an absolute obedience in her as much as Dadisa (and whatever that DS holds dear). She doesn't have that kind of bond with anyone be it her parents, Bhairon who supported her to death or even I daresay, Shiv.

In case of Shekhars, she may obey but stuff like laws, doctor's opinion or her own curiosity easily take precedence though it's not the same when she deals with Singhs.

In SaJa court case only CM was with her. Rest of the family was against her. Yet she testified for Jagya. I doubt if she'd have behaved in similar fashion if entire Singh clan was against her and only one member, say, Bhairon was with her.

The kind of intuitions and instincts she has for Singhs, she doesn't have an iota of those for her own parents and new in laws. That level of perceptiveness is just not there.

I don't mean to bash Anandi. But there's a difference in her behaviour with rest of the world and Singhs.

Is it just me or Anandi only has bond with Shiv in that household? She didn't approach Meenu or Alok or tried talking to Ira. At most she's with Shiv and serving others as usual. Whereas if it was Singhs, she'd have tried interacting with each of them in this hour of trauma.

She serves Shekhars. But in a very customary sort of way. Not with the devotion she had for Singhs.

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

She seems to be doing a "job" at the Shekhars.

Her self-defined "job" is to ensure people are well fed all their meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner and milk post dinner - all preferably at the common dinig table - but if anyone misses - then to go cajole them into joining - or else take a tray to them.

There is no emotion here - its just a job. Even with Shiv - she's more concerned about his shirts and whatnot and less about what he may want from his biwi.

There is a very aloof and detached aura about her. Like she is a bahu here and she wears a tiara that says BAHU in capitals and she can't ever forget that.

the Shekhars are not a "family" to her - they are just responsibility.

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Anandi's relationship with Singhs and Shekhars do seem to be different.

Her relationship with Singhs is independent of what she feels for Jagya.She grew up in that house.If it had not been for the fact that she was Jagya's beendini the relationship between Singhs and Anandi is more like daughter and parents.Her relationship with Jagya and her feelings for Jagya are a result of what she felt for Singhs.Singhs became her own family much before she came to regard Jagya as her husband.She did not take Jagya to court because of her love for Singhs and she forgave Jagya because of her love for Singhs and when Jagya disppaeared during her marriage time she went hunting around him for the sake of Singhs.

In case of her relationship with Shekhars - It is because of Shiv.Till she fell in love with Shiv and accepted him as her husband they were all strangers to her despite the marriage.Only after accepting her relationship with Shiv did she make efforts to make them as her family because they are his family.She put up with Sanchi and Ira because of him.

In her first marriage Singhs were the bridge between her and Jagya.In her second marriage Shiv is the bridge between her and Shekhars.In her mind it is clear that she became part of their family because of Shiv.Which is exactly opposite in her first marriage because they were more like her parents and brought her up like a daughter way before she was ready to become Jagya's wife.If the separation had not happened the bond of DIL/MIL would have been in place but it would have been much deeper because of years of association.

Relationship between Anandi and Shekhars is more of conventional relationship between Daughter in law and her parents in law and the husband in between being the bridge.But for deeper bonds to develop time is required for any relationship.She just entered this family and her relationship with them is one year old.And it is relationship between a young adult and older generation so it will take time unlike the first time around where it was between a child and adults.

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That issue about Anandi calling a psychiatrist - It looked like a collective decision made by the family and Anandi just executed it and as the doctor has told them to give medicines without her knowledge Anandi came up with the solution and the rest approved it.So I don't think she acted on her own.

Anandi did seem unaffected by this baby swapping incident.For her main concern is only Shiv at the moment and he is the one she cares for and all come after that.It did not matter to her whose son he was but apparently that shook Shiv so her main concern was him.She can only tell him what she thinks is right she cannot force him to do anything other than forcing him to eat.

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libsrocks

@libsrocks

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

Nice post...Anandi is actually very confusing character to me

She spoke up against Jagya when needed but even now she remains silent against Saanchi...she never gave any importance to Jagya (nor he was worth it) but here she doesn't even speak one word without asking Shiv...in fact Anandi had never been as dependent on someone as she is on Shiv...she let Bhairon and Dadisa get insulted by Ira and other Shekhars but had Singhs insulted her parents she used to confront them sooner or later with toughness for in. About her ghughant thing i would say its her stubborness to not change her way.

About Saanchi case Anandi was supporting truth and not her maayka and sasural...she knew Saanchi was wrong and faking everything but if she would turn blind eye towards the truth she would have spoiled Jagya's life...in divorce case she had the power to file the case or not and she choose not to becoz she didn't wanted to make stupid tamasha which can get her nothing...if Anandi has been more obedient to Singhs she has been more tolerant towards Shekhars...she would have never let anyone especially, someone like Saanchi insult, Dadisa and Bhairon the way did this time...about her close bond towards Singhs is becoz i feel they treat Anandi like an individual and even respect and listen to her like i said before...Bhairon and Sumitra made an effort to form a bond with her rather than push her towards her

duties...but Shekhars never tried to creat any bond with her...they let Saanchi insult her...Meenu was sweet but shehardly stood verbally for her...Ira and Alok had thought of her nothing more than Shiv's wife...only Shiv has been close to her and made effort to understand...Shekhars connect with her as Shiv's wife so even Anandi connects with

them as Shiv's family

anandi work according to situation and somewhat to her profit also...hope what i wrote made sense...to cut all this short i feel anandi is ok with her behavior with both the families...she has been obedient and sweet towards both the families

Edited by libsrocks - 12 years ago

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libsrocks

@libsrocks

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: aparnauma
Anandi's relationship with Singhs and Shekhars do seem to be different.
Her relationship with Singhs is independent of what she feels for Jagya.She grew up in that house.If it had not been for the fact that she was Jagya's beendini the relationship between Singhs and Anandi is more like daughter and parents.Her relationship with Jagya and her feelings for Jagya are a result of what she felt for Singhs.Singhs became her own family much before she came to regard Jagya as her husband.She did not take Jagya to court because of her love for Singhs and she forgave Jagya because of her love for Singhs and when Jagya disppaeared during her marriage time she went hunting around him for the sake of Singhs.

In case of her relationship with Shekhars - It is because of Shiv.Till she fell in love with Shiv and accepted him as her husband they were all strangers to her despite the marriage.Only after accepting her relationship with Shiv did she make efforts to make them as her family because they are his family.She put up with Sanchi and Ira because of him.

In her first marriage Singhs were the bridge between her and Jagya.In her second marriage Shiv is the bridge between her and Shekhars.In her mind it is clear that she became part of their family because of Shiv.Which is exactly opposite in her first marriage because they were more like her parents and brought her up like a daughter way before she was ready to become Jagya's wife.If the separation had not happened the bond of DIL/MIL would have been in place but it would have been much deeper because of years of association.

Relationship between Anandi and Shekhars is more of conventional relationship between Daughter in law and her parents in law and the husband in between being the bridge.But for deeper bonds to develop time is required for any relationship.She just entered this family and her relationship with them is one year old.And it is relationship between a young adult and older generation so it will take time unlike the first time around where it was between a child and adults.

---------------
That issue about Anandi calling a psychiatrist - It looked like a collective decision made by the family and Anandi just executed it and as the doctor has told them to give medicines without her knowledge Anandi came up with the solution and the rest approved it.So I don't think she acted on her own.

Anandi did seem unaffected by this baby swapping incident.For her main concern is only Shiv at the moment and he is the one she cares for and all come after that.It did not matter to her whose son he was but apparently that shook Shiv so her main concern was him.She can only tell him what she thinks is right she cannot force him to do anything other than forcing him to eat.

Well said @Aparna 👏
@Skeplbun this is what i wanted to say but was not able to put it in words 😊

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hisusmita

@hisusmita

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: aparnauma
Anandi's relationship with Singhs and Shekhars do seem to be different.
Her relationship with Singhs is independent of what she feels for Jagya.She grew up in that house.If it had not been for the fact that she was Jagya's beendini the relationship between Singhs and Anandi is more like daughter and parents.Her relationship with Jagya and her feelings for Jagya are a result of what she felt for Singhs.Singhs became her own family much before she came to regard Jagya as her husband.She did not take Jagya to court because of her love for Singhs and she forgave Jagya because of her love for Singhs and when Jagya disppaeared during her marriage time she went hunting around him for the sake of Singhs.

In case of her relationship with Shekhars - It is because of Shiv.Till she fell in love with Shiv and accepted him as her husband they were all strangers to her despite the marriage.Only after accepting her relationship with Shiv did she make efforts to make them as her family because they are his family.She put up with Sanchi and Ira because of him.

In her first marriage Singhs were the bridge between her and Jagya.In her second marriage Shiv is the bridge between her and Shekhars.In her mind it is clear that she became part of their family because of Shiv.Which is exactly opposite in her first marriage because they were more like her parents and brought her up like a daughter way before she was ready to become Jagya's wife.If the separation had not happened the bond of DIL/MIL would have been in place but it would have been much deeper because of years of association.

Relationship between Anandi and Shekhars is more of conventional relationship between Daughter in law and her parents in law and the husband in between being the bridge.But for deeper bonds to develop time is required for any relationship.She just entered this family and her relationship with them is one year old.And it is relationship between a young adult and older generation so it will take time unlike the first time around where it was between a child and adults.

---------------
That issue about Anandi calling a psychiatrist - It looked like a collective decision made by the family and Anandi just executed it and as the doctor has told them to give medicines without her knowledge Anandi came up with the solution and the rest approved it.So I don't think she acted on her own.

Anandi did seem unaffected by this baby swapping incident.For her main concern is only Shiv at the moment and he is the one she cares for and all come after that.It did not matter to her whose son he was but apparently that shook Shiv so her main concern was him.She can only tell him what she thinks is right she cannot force him to do anything other than forcing him to eat.

You put it so well👏

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rdjha

@rdjha

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: aparnauma
Anandi's relationship with Singhs and Shekhars do seem to be different.

Her relationship with Singhs is independent of what she feels for Jagya.She grew up in that house.If it had not been for the fact that she was Jagya's beendini the relationship between Singhs and Anandi is more like daughter and parents.Her relationship with Jagya and her feelings for Jagya are a result of what she felt for Singhs.Singhs became her own family much before she came to regard Jagya as her husband.She did not take Jagya to court because of her love for Singhs and she forgave Jagya because of her love for Singhs and when Jagya disppaeared during her marriage time she went hunting around him for the sake of Singhs.

In case of her relationship with Shekhars - It is because of Shiv.Till she fell in love with Shiv and accepted him as her husband they were all strangers to her despite the marriage.Only after accepting her relationship with Shiv did she make efforts to make them as her family because they are his family.She put up with Sanchi and Ira because of him.

In her first marriage Singhs were the bridge between her and Jagya.In her second marriage Shiv is the bridge between her and Shekhars.In her mind it is clear that she became part of their family because of Shiv.Which is exactly opposite in her first marriage because they were more like her parents and brought her up like a daughter way before she was ready to become Jagya's wife.If the separation had not happened the bond of DIL/MIL would have been in place but it would have been much deeper because of years of association.

Relationship between Anandi and Shekhars is more of conventional relationship between Daughter in law and her parents in law and the husband in between being the bridge.But for deeper bonds to develop time is required for any relationship.She just entered this family and her relationship with them is one year old.And it is relationship between a young adult and older generation so it will take time unlike the first time around where it was between a child and adults.

---------------

That issue about Anandi calling a psychiatrist - It looked like a collective decision made by the family and Anandi just executed it and as the doctor has told them to give medicines without her knowledge Anandi came up with the solution and the rest approved it.So I don't think she acted on her own.

Anandi did seem unaffected by this baby swapping incident.For her main concern is only Shiv at the moment and he is the one she cares for and all come after that.It did not matter to her whose son he was but apparently that shook Shiv so her main concern was him.She can only tell him what she thinks is right she cannot force him to do anything other than forcing him to eat.

Beautifully explained Appy 👏👏👏

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

I agree with aparnauma's well written post.

With the singhs, jagya was actually a disposable entity.

In fact, after the first initial jhatka, anandi was quite happy being on her own, doing things for the singhs, running her school and the adult education class. Quite happy. In addition she has a loyalty to the singhs that they sided with her when they could just as easily have taken their son's side just because he was son and male heir to the family ... but they decided to take a stand based on the ethics of the issue and they encouraged her even in her low times.

The shekhars have not yet proven themselves in terms of love and trust to anandi. The few incidents she has experienced with them have always been in terms of taunts and explicit bad language and all sorts of accusations towards her. If shiv is not in the picture, then she has no idea whether shekhars will continue to financially and emotionally support her.

She is desperately trying to carve out a place for her within the shekhar household. Even if it means creating problems first and then trying to solve the very problems she created. 😆😆😆

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Anandi's dealing with Shekhars

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