Posted:
Going by the current bash Dilshad theories, I want to share a true story of one of my friends. She is way in her forties. So, its not about someone who is just an angry, rebellious teenager. She has made very well for herself - career wise and family wise, and shared a decent bond with her mother until recently - when she picked an argument with her (like always) over something silly. Now it has been three years since they spoke. However, she despises her father, so much so that she was not allowed (leave alone being invited) to her wedding. Why? Because he was an alchoholic abuser.
This woman, though has a good life is full of psychological issues, that run very deep. She has trust issues, has allienated everyone that has ever loved her, is insecure, etc. etc I dont even want to get started.
Her father used to hit her, and her mother when she was young. As soon as she turned 15-16 she moved out and began making a life of her own. Today she herself is borderline self abusive (though she is away from substance abuse). She has very strong ideas (no matter how irrational they are ) and will fight tooth and nail for them. So no one can talk to her about her dad.
Her mother is now remarried and has found true love, but as a part of her own healing (Which we can totally understand) reconciled with her ex husband (my friends father) and invited him to her wedding. This is many years later - like about 20 years later since she divorced him. She says she only did it for peace. Her own peace of mind.
I dont know why but she once let me in the wall she has built around her heart at a moment when she was a bit high. So I asked her do you hate your father? You know her answer?
I hate him. More than I hate anyone else. But you know who I hate more? My mom. After whatever I went through in life for her, with her, due to that man... She betrayed me and chose to find some stupid shit called peace. She never for once, thought how I felt... and she broke down.
A woman everyone hates for being strong, brutal, ambitious, broke down.
May I even say why I share this poignant story? I rest my case on what I think Dilshad should have done.
I promised myself not to make a post but I could not stop myself.
Rashid - a man who chose his own freedom over his duties as a father, two timed her, and left her along with his ammi for suffering with two kids... gets chosen over her son who has been inflicted the worst possible psychological issues due to him. Dilshad, I understand your pain as a woman and wife... but I can never believe this is the choice of a mother. I would never ever do this to my son.
